Protecting My Forever (Blackthorne Security Book 1)

by Nicole Vidal

  “I was drawn to you from the moment you asked so many questions through the door. When you opened it, you took my breath away. I knew what I was looking for in the abstract, but I never found the one woman who possesses every single attribute until you. I love you, Calliope.”

  I close the small distance between us and kiss Connor like it’s the first time. Frankly, it is. The first of many with us as a couple. We sink down to the ground and kiss for a long time in what will be our backyard.

  After returning our equine friends and a short ride home, we climb the stairs to the deck with hot coffees in hand as well as a link for a conference call with Thom. Connor was able to catch him with an opening in his schedule.

  We narrow down the style we’re looking for and set a time to talk with Thom early next week for some options to choose from for furnishings.

  “How are you feeling about the next few days?” he asks me.

  “Scared, nervous, and anxious. Aren’t those all the same thing?”

  He smiles, and I melt deeper into his strong arms. That smile, my smile, makes me believe we can move a mountain together if we choose to. “Not necessarily.”

  “I’m scared of breaking the wall. I’m nervous that Madeleine might be right about this event, and I’m anxious to step foot near the last place my parents were all these years later. Being with them was the last happy memory I had until I met you.”

  “That’s a lot to carry. You don’t have to break the wall in a few days. Yet you desire to sing as you at this particular event. Will you share why?”

  “Carys wasn’t impacted by the event, I was. I created Carys to protect myself from everything surrounding my parents’ death. I used her to purposely avoid sharing the real me, the true me, unless it was my choice. There’s no reason for Carys to sing other than that’s how the world knows the voice. My voice.”

  “You should do what is best for you. What do you want?”

  “I want to sing as me, but Madeleine’s concerns are making me pause.”

  He tightens his embrace before speaking. “If you walk to the podium on Friday morning as Carys, will you regret not doing it as you?”

  “Yes.”

  “If you don’t sing at all, will you regret it?”

  “Maybe. I know, not helpful.”

  “Not necessarily true. If you sing as yourself on Friday but don’t make a formal announcement that you are in fact Carys, it could go either way.”

  I twist to look up at him. “What do you mean?”

  “You could set off a firestorm of press digging into your life, or you could sing and later release a statement after your tour is over.”

  “You’re a genius.” I push up and pepper his face with kisses.

  “I am?”

  “Yes. I’m going to have my publicist draft a statement and release it to tell my story my way.”

  “Okay.”

  “Does it matter if I do it before or after the ceremony?”

  He wrinkles his nose. Damn, that’s sexy! “I have an opinion, but I’m going to talk to Jake before answering you.”

  “What’s your opinion? I’ll wait to do anything until you get Jake’s opinion.”

  He nods. “In order to prevent you from upstaging the memorial and being accused of using it for publicity, you should release the statement after. A decent amount of time after, at least a week in my opinion if not more after your tour is finished. You absolutely need Madeleine to have the organizer sign a nondisclosure agreement and the organizer to agree to let you sing as yourself.”

  Overall, that’s a little over two weeks from now. It’s not horrible. My mind is spinning about the next few days even more now. I’m nervous and excited at the same time.

  Chapter Thirty Six

  Connor

  I’m terrified too but for different reasons. I need to make sure she’s safe while she reveals herself to the world for who she really is. The stakes rose, and I need to meet them.

  “Can you do it now?”

  I shake my head and dial Jake. “Hey, Jake. Got a few minutes?”

  “Sure, what’s up?” I highly doubt he’ll be receptive to her plan.

  “Calliope plans to sing as herself on Friday. Other than a nondisclosure from the organizer, what are your concerns?”

  “Are you sure she’s ready for this?”

  Leave it to Jake to pinpoint my doubts about this. “No, but that isn’t my decision to make.”

  “Spoken like a man in deep.”

  I nod even though he can’t see me.

  Jake continues, “As far as her security, there wouldn’t be any change. The sheer amount of security might seem over the top for Calliope Sutton as opposed to Carys. What about you?”

  “Like I said, not my decision to make. I will support whatever she chooses.”

  “Do you need the number yet?” A slight chuckle comes over the line.

  I know he means the number for his jeweler. “No, I already have that under control.”

  “Let me know if you need anything when the time comes.”

  “I will.” I assisted Jake preparing for his proposal to Norah by housing Sabre for a few days and delivering him to the barn before he proposed, as well as handling all Blackthorne business for a few days. It appears that my woman would like me to hurry up this call, a call she asked me to make, considering her mouth is climbing up from my waistband while she bunches my shirt. “Thanks, Jake. We’ll be ready to leave at nine in the morning.”

  “No problem. See you then.”

  I end the call, set my phone on the ottoman, and turn the tables on Calliope, pinning her beneath me. “Are you crazy?”

  “About you.” She smirks. “As much as I appreciate you wanting another opinion, I’m singing as myself.”

  “I knew you would. I’m proud of you. I also knew Jake wouldn’t stop you, but he needed to be aware.” I pick up my phone and extend it toward her. “As much as I would like you to continue kissing me, call Madeleine and get the agreement signed or ask for the organizer’s number and call yourself.”

  “Thank you for so many things, but mostly for choosing me.”

  “I could say the same thing to you, beautiful.” I kiss the tip of her nose lightly and fix my shirt.

  She frowns but calls Madeleine on speaker anyway.

  “Hi, Madeleine. It’s Callie. You’re on speaker.”

  Madeleine jumps right in. I suppose it’s the only reason for us to talk right now. “I don’t think it’s the best choice, Cal.”

  “I know, Madi. I heard you. I appreciate your opinion, friendship, and support. However, I need to do this for me, as me as long as the organizer will sign the nondisclosure. I’ll release a statement when my tour is over that I’m rebranding or whatever public relations wants to call it.”

  “I’ll get it signed today and make the changes necessary to the program. Then I’ll send you a copy.”

  “Thanks, Madi.”

  “Talk to you soon.”

  Calliope ends the calls and climbs into my arms. Her body is fraught with tension. Normally when she’s with me, especially at home, she’s relaxed. It isn’t as if she hasn’t handled business here either.

  “Breathe, sweetheart.”

  She inhales deeply and exhales slowly a few times.

  “Please tell me.” I can usually read her pretty well. Right now, I’m in the dark.

  She lifts her eyes to mine. “I’m so close. One signature and I’ll be able to be me whenever I choose to. No more hiding who I truly am. No more tall shoes and colorful wig to go from a hotel to an arena. I’m done hiding. True, I have one more set of shows as Carys. Unfortunately, the anniversary is beforehand.”

  “What if the organizer balks? I know that isn’t what you want to hear, but….”

  “I won’t sing, but I’ll be there as me—Calliope Sutton, sole surviving child of Julian and Evelyn Sutton.”

  I lower my lips to hers and kiss her slow and deep.

  “Are you opposed
to being naked up here?” Her voice sounds raspy and downright sultry.

  “No, I was only concerned with the first time being up here.”

  Given permission, Calliope tears my shirt over my head. The pile of clothes on the decking increases exponentially over the next minute. Once she’s down to her barely there lace bra and panties, she pauses and stands. “Let’s go downstairs so we don’t have to move afterwards.” She scoops up our clothes, offering me a sinful view of her ass before moving to the stairs.

  At the top of the staircase, she turns to me. “Are you coming?”

  “Not yet.”

  She laughs and hurries to the bedroom. I hop down the stairs and set the alarm. If my woman wants to stay in bed until morning, that’s what we’ll do. I set an alarm on my phone that gives us plenty of time to finish the last-minute items in the morning and hurry to join my tiny songstress in my bed.

  After a night filled with very little sleep and more than enough orgasms for a few days, my alarm startles me awake. When I slide my arm out to pull Calliope closer, the sheets are cold. Pushing away the morning fog, I hear the water running in the bathroom. My urge to protect people has been a part of me since I was young. The need to protect her from anything outside of these walls is extremely high. Yet I have truly let my guard down with her here in my home. Calliope is my woman within these walls and not my client. It feels incredible! Soon she will only be my woman, and I can’t wait. I push to sitting, my feet on the floor.

  “Morning.” She steps back into the bedroom with a towel wrapped around her body, tucked between her perfect breasts, and one on her head.

  “Morning. How long have you been up?”

  She moves to right in front of me. “Twenty minutes or so.”

  I untuck the towel, drop it to the floor, and pull her on top of me onto the bed. Her laughter surrounds me. It’s beautiful to hear her happy. The closer she gets to being truly free, the heartier her laugh becomes.

  “We don’t have enough time right now. You’re very thorough. Plus, didn’t you get enough last night? It was pretty spectacular.”

  “Was that a complaint?”

  She rolls her eyes at me.

  “I won’t ever get enough of you. It’s amazing every single time. You have exactly five seconds to move, or I’ll risk us being late to make love to you again.”

  Reluctantly, very reluctantly, she moves and rewraps herself in the towel. I hurry through my morning routine so we aren’t late. The last thing I need is Jake to reinstate his ribbing about Calliope. Precisely at nine, we pull away from the curb for the private airport.

  The flight and the transfer to the hotel are uneventful. My favorite kind. The team is settling into their rooms. We’ll meet later this afternoon for a review of the protocols for the next few days.

  Near two, Calliope admits the team to our suite. She met everyone on the plane this morning. Jake, Finn, Christoph, Maia, and Alejandra, who prefers Alex, enter at the same time. Alex is average height with long, dark hair and big, brown eyes. She could easily be mistaken for a normal Latina. Anyone who makes that assumption will be unpleasantly surprised. Each declines Calliope’s offer of something to drink. They pass the updated itinerary and team groupings around the room.

  Jake reviews the contents of the itinerary and today’s plan. “Nothing has changed since this morning. The organizer forwarded a copy of the signed agreement. Miss Sutton will attend rehearsal tomorrow morning at ten, which is estimated to last about two hours. Afterward, she has an appointment to visit the memorial at one. I’ll be the point person for the visit to the memorial until Miss Sutton is back here for the evening.” He continues through the rest of the schedule but conveniently leaves off the location of the event for after her performance on Friday. That must be the surprise that Norah was alluding too.

  The team leaves after Jake fields a few questions. “C, any issues that I need to be aware of?”

  “No. Calliope?”

  She lifts her gaze to mine. “Huh? No, no issues.” She’s lying. She’s terrified. Her hands are balled into fists and are white.

  Jake nods. “Call me if you need anything, C.”

  “I will.”

  When he leaves, I stalk over to her and surround her with my body. “What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t know if I can do this.”

  My heart constricts in my chest. She can’t possibly mean us. No, that’s crazy. We’re perfect together. “Do what?”

  “Be in the same place my parents were last together.”

  I exhale a breath I didn’t even know I was holding. “Do you want to go home, not attend the ceremony, or not go to the memorial tomorrow?”

  She shakes her head against my chest. “I don’t know. I’m scared. I’m down the block, and I’m freaking out. What if I can’t do this?”

  “I know you’re terrified. You won’t be alone. Grief is a fickle bitch. Some days you’re fine, and others you feel like you can’t get out of bed. What can I do?”

  “Can we go for a walk in that general direction as a practice run?”

  I kiss the top of her head, lead her to the couch, and dial Jake. Less than an hour later, Jake, Maia, Christoph, Alex, Calliope, and I are strolling down the sidewalk like three couples out for a date in the Big Apple.

  Chapter Thirty Seven

  Calliope

  The closer we get to the World Trade Center, the tighter my grip on Connor’s hand becomes. I wasn’t prepared for the onslaught of fear and emotion when the team was discussing my security earlier today.

  Connor leans down near my ear. “I will hold you as long as you’ll have me, but I can’t feel my fingers.”

  I look up at him and decrease the pressure of my hold on his hand. He looks over my head and nods at Jake. They switch positions so now I’m on Connor’s other side. He retakes my other hand, and we continue walking. The closer we get to ground zero, the more my heart constricts and the harder it is to fight back tears.

  “Do you want to go back?”

  Only he has ever noticed my true feelings. “No, I need to do this for me. It’s the only way I’ll be able to enter the museum where their remains are for rehearsal and the ceremony.”

  There’s a slight pause in his gait. He nods toward Jake again, and we stop walking along the side of an office building. Connor turns me so I’m against the wall, and the others form a semicircle around us.

  “Can you clarify that please?” he asks.

  “They were never identified. The best I can assume is they’re in the repository at the World Trade Center. I’m sorry. I figured it was in my file somewhere.”

  “Nothing to be sorry for. I would’ve planned for more time beforehand if I knew.”

  “Like you, I can do anything hard with you beside me.”

  He swipes a tear from my cheek and kisses me tenderly and whispers, “I love you.”

  I mouth, “I love you,” and we continue the rest of the way to the site. My hands are shaking in Connor’s as we approach the memorial. It’s beautiful even in the evening. I stop short of approaching the engraved names near the Memorial Glade. I’m not ready. I truly hope I will be tomorrow.

  Like before, they surround us and simply wait for me to handle being here and compose myself. They give me as much time as I need. I look toward the memorial with Connor’s arms clasped around me from behind. I draw as much strength from Connor as possible and sort through all the emotions swirling in my heart and mind. Now I understand why he was concerned for me at the cemetery. It’ll only be harder tomorrow when I’m actually standing before their names. First, I need to get through rehearsal. I’m not sure how long they stand watch for me, but I’m extremely grateful.

  I turn in his arms and rise on my toes to kiss him. “Thank you,” I murmur.

  “Always. Ready?”

  I nod, Connor taps Jake on the shoulder, and we move back toward the hotel. The walk back seems much shorter. I thank them profusely and step into the bedroom. Once Connor ve
rifies the locks again, he joins me.

  He understands grief, not only for Mara but Jones, Adams, Carter, and the others he hasn’t specifically named. I draw him close and set my head on his chest.

  “Do you want a late dinner?”

  I nod against him.

  “I’ll be back in a few.” He kisses me and leaves again. Connor returns and changes into shorts and a fresh shirt while we wait.

  Shortly thereafter, our dinner arrives. I pick at his fries after I polish off mine as well as my burger. After we set the dishes in the hall, we curl up in our bed until morning.

  When I wake, Connor is already out of bed. As I move to get up, he steps into the bedroom with a cup of coffee for me.

  “Morning. Thank you.” I smile at him, taking the steamy cup of caffeinated goodness and our first kiss of the day.

  “You’re welcome. You have a little over an hour before we need to leave. Breakfast should be here in about fifteen minutes.”

  I take a big gulp of my coffee and throw back the covers. After a deep exhale, I run through all the reasons I can handle this event and why it’s important to me. I’m ready to face the fact that I’m a member of a club no one ever wants to be part of.

  I want to walk away from Carys and be me. Only me. I’m enough as me. I don’t need the wig or other trappings of Carys’s carefully constructed life to protect myself anymore. I haven’t been truly happy until Connor showed up at my hotel door. He keeps showing up for me, and that’s more than I ever hoped I would find.

  After I dress and inhale my breakfast, I leave with my seemingly large security team for rehearsal. Although I’m sure he isn’t supposed to, Connor’s hand is threaded with mine as we enter the museum. Christoph is in front of me, and Maia right behind me.

  “Shouldn’t you be ‘working Connor’ right now?” I whisper.

  “No, I’m ‘everyday Connor’ during these events.”

  I tighten my fingers in his. “Is that why Jake is here?”

  “Yes.”

  “When did you ask him to come?”