Deciding Tomorrow
Page 11
He lightly combs his fingers through my hair. “Yeah, I love it. How many people can say they get paid to play a game that they love?”
“Not too many.”
It all clicks.
Something good really did come from the decisions of our past. After everything that happened between the hurt, the pain, the loss, and us, Brent realized his passion. He had to leave to become what he is today. Our lives would be so different if I hadn’t lost the baby and then insisted on him playing professionally when school wasn’t working, when we weren’t working.
It was so hard to say good-bye and let him go, but to see him doing so well assures me that it was the right thing. Maybe fate split us apart, so he could follow a path, and so could I, only to come back together when we were ready. Maybe we were too young for the kind of love we had. Maybe we needed more time to grow in order to hold it. Time has a funny way of creating clarity. In my present, nothing is clearer than Brent. I loved him before, but I needed time to know how much.
“I read about you,” I admit, my fingers drifting along the length of his arm.
His hand discontinues running through my hair. His heartbeat quickens, and his lungs stop moving. “Oh? You did?”
“Yeah, online. I did a little research.”
“And what did you find?” he asks.
“Lots of stuff about you and your career.” I glance up at him. “You’ve been holding out on me.”
He blinks a few times. “Have I?”
“You didn’t tell me that you’re ranked so flipping high in the league and that you’re some kind of world-class player.”
“I didn’t?” Brent exhales a held breath. “I guess I didn’t think it was important.”
“Not important? Are you kidding? It’s great.” I sit up, crossing my feet in front of me. “And…I’m kind of proud of you and all you’ve done. Who could have known, right?”
He takes in a deep breath. “Thank you.” He tugs me into his form, my back flush with his chest, and he wraps his arms around me. “I’m proud of you, too.”
“What for?”
“There’s too much to say.”
“I—”
My phone rings, cutting into our conversation and breaking the moment.
“Hang on.” I sit up.
I don’t get many calls. The daily caller I’ve had as of recently is sitting right next to me, and my handful of friends usually don’t call during the week. I reach over to my bedside table to see who it is. The screen flashes with the name Shauna.
“Hmph,” I mumble, biting my lip.
She’s probably calling in regard to Thanksgiving and the conversation Cody and I had earlier. A large part of me is inclined not to take the call, especially with Brent here, but there’s really no reason to avoid Shauna. Plus, I need to tell her myself that I can’t make it on Thursday. It’s the right thing to do.
“Is everything okay?” Brent asks as the ringtone continues to play.
“Yeah. It’s just…let me take this.” I answer the call, “Hi, Shauna. How are you?”
“Ruby,” she sighs. “What is going on?”
Brent swings his legs over the bed and paces toward the bathroom.
“Hang on a second, Shauna.” I cover the end of the phone. “Brent?”
He peeks his head around the threshold, palming the doorframe. “I was just going to use the bathroom.”
“Oh, okay.”
“And give you some privacy.”
“Thanks.”
Brent disappears into the bathroom and closes the door.
“Shauna?”
“Ruby?”
“I’m sorry. I should have called you, but after I talked with Cody, I just…well, forgot.”
“Ruby,” she says in a displeasing tone, “I don’t know exactly what is going on, but Cody stormed out of the shop this afternoon, and he didn’t come back at all after that. I finally got a hold of him, and he’s on his way home now.”
“He was just throwing a fit and needed to cool off,” I say, irked that he’s so volatile about my business.
“Likely, but you need to let me know what the hell is going on,” she says, upset, her voice harsh. “He said he spent the afternoon by Lake Michigan and that you wouldn’t be joining us for Thanksgiving. What’s that all about?”
“That’s all he told you?”
“Yeah,” she says, frustrated.
“And he spent the afternoon at the lake?”
Cody hardly ever goes to the lake. It’s not his place of refuge. It’s mine. It always has been. He knows that. He sat with me by our hometown lake when Brent left for Sweden, again when I returned from Florida, and then a third time when my dad went to prison. Cody always found me there. It’s where I go in times of deep contemplation. It’s a place of solace when all seems lost.
He went there because of me, searching for something.
“Yeah,” Shauna replies again. “He said he went there right after he spoke with you, and he’s on his way home now. I’ll talk to him when he gets here. I was hoping maybe you could shed a little light on why you won’t be joining us for Thanksgiving.”
“I can’t make it because…”
The bathroom door opens, and Brent joins me in the main part of the apartment, pacing toward the cabinets in the kitchen.
“Because why?” Shauna asks loudly.
“I have company.” I pause, watching Brent fill his glass with water. “Someone came into town out of the blue, and I just won’t be able to make it.”
“You can bring your friend, too,” she insists. “We have the space. My whole family is coming, and I really want you to be here. You’re kind of Cody’s only family. It’d be nice if you could make it.”
“I hear you. Did Cody mention that Brent was the person in town?”
Brent leans his backside against the counter, raising his brows.
“No,” she answers, drawing out the word. “He didn’t. Oh, boy. I guess that explains a lot.”
Shauna has never met Brent. She and Cody started to see one another long after Brent was in Sweden, but she does know about him, not all of the details though. Cody promised that was my story to share, not his, but she knows of Brent and what happened in Florida. That was when all our paths crossed.
“Yeah.” I offer a tight-lipped smile to Brent as he sits next to me on the bed. “So, I don’t think I’ll be able to make it.”
There’s a long pause.
“I still think you should come,” she finally says. “Brent, too.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m not bringing Brent there with Cody acting like that.”
Brent cocks his head.
I mouth to him, I’ll tell you about it in a minute.
“Ruby, you two are family. He thinks of you like a sister, and so do I. I know that there were some issues with Brent, but that’s your business as far as I’m concerned. However, you should be here.”
“I don’t know, Shauna.”
She’s right though, and guilt slays me.
“I hear what you’re saying, but…it just might be too much,” I add.
“But it’s Thanksgiving. It’s the holidays.” She sighs loudly. “Ruby, you’re the only family he really has. Please come.”
Ah shit.
His dad won’t come, living so far away, and my father is in prison. It’s like we’re the only ones left. Leaving a hole in someone’s life doesn’t sit well with me. It’s a terrible feeling that I’m all too familiar with. Plus, Cody’s been there for me, even when I didn’t want anyone to be.
“Let me talk to Brent,” I tell her, taking Brent’s hand in mine, “and I’ll let you know.”
“Thank you.”
“And—”
“Don’t worry about Cody. I’ll talk to him. He just needs a few minutes to get used to it all. He cares about you.”
“I know he does. I care about him, too.”
“Good. Okay, you talk to Brent. I don’t want to hear from yo
u unless you are coming,” she teases.
“Ha-ha. We’ll see.”
“I’m serious,” she half laughs. “You’d better be coming or else I’ll give you hell every day for the rest of your life.”
“Great. No pressure.”
“Nope, none at all.” She clicks her tongue. “Well, now that we have that settled, you need to tell me about Brent. What the hell is going on?”
Brent snaps his head in my direction, overhearing her loud chatter through the phone.
“For real,” she continues, interested like a girlfriend, “blast from the past. When did that happen?”
“A few weeks ago. He was in town, and we just kind of…found each other again.”
He threads his fingers with mine.
“He’s here now, and he will be staying for a while.”
“Interesting. Well, I can’t wait to meet him on Thursday.”
“We shall see. I need to talk to him about it first.”
“Sounds good.” Water runs in the background, and the clatter of dishes echoes through the connection. “I’ll let you go, so you can spend some time with him. I need to get ready for Cody when he gets here. It will all work out. You’ll see. He’ll come around. But if this Brent guy is a total jerk, I’ll be sure to let you know.”
“I’m sure you will, but I’m not worried.”
“Okay. I need to get going. Talk to you soon.”
“Talk soon.” I end the call, and the silence crowds the room in the space between the phone, Brent, and myself.
“That was Shauna,” I say into the quiet, “Cody’s wife.”
“I kind of gathered that.” Brent takes the phone from my hand and places it on the nearby table. Then, he pulls me back into his arms and rests against the headboard. “Is there something you want to tell me?”
I sigh. “She wants us to go up there for Thanksgiving. I told her I needed to talk to you about it first.”
“So, that’s what you’re doing now?” he teases.
“I guess so. We don’t have to go if you don’t want to though.”
“Why wouldn’t I want to? It’s your family, and we don’t exactly have plans.”
“I don’t know.”
“Do you not want to go?” he asks, enunciating every word.
“It’s just Cody.” I grunt, recalling the talk we had earlier. “He and I got into an argument earlier today when I told him that you were here. I’m not sure it’s the best idea that we do go, but Shauna says she’ll talk to him.”
He settles down further into the bed, so we’re lying together.
“I’m sorry about coming here like this,” he says softly. “I wasn’t thinking that it would be a problem.”
Turning around within his embrace, I cuddle into him, circling my arms behind his back. “It’s not a problem at all. I want you here. Cody is just being a dick, like always. You know how he can be.”
“Yeah, I remember.” He chuckles. “Does he have an issue with me?”
The answer is so obvious. “A little. He’s kind of mad at you for leaving.”
“Well, I’m mad at me, too.”
“It was so long ago though. There has to be a statute of limitations or something. You just can’t be mad forever.”
“No, you can’t. But you certainly can see your mistakes for what they are and which ones you don’t want to make again.”
“True.” I let out a gust of air and lick my lips. My body becomes rigid.
Brent kisses the top of my head, relieving the rising tension. “If you had asked me to stay back then, I would have,” he utters into my hair.
My mind goes straight back to that time and place when we said our farewells four years ago. Then, all I wanted was for him to stay, but I couldn’t be selfish enough to ask. His torment came from many directions and sources—the loss of our baby, my despair, our hurtful words, his academic probation, and the separation of his parents. It was too much, all of it at once.
“I just couldn’t ask you to stay,” I say, closing my lids.
“Why?” he asks, mildly distressed. “Why couldn’t you?”
“Because I loved you too much to take you further down with me. I loved you enough to let you go.” I sniff back the pricking tears. “It was one of the hardest things I ever did, but I didn’t know what else to do for you. I let you go, so you could hopefully find happiness. At least one good thing was all I wanted for you.”
“But I didn’t find happiness like you had hoped, not really.” Brent’s hands glide up and down my back, floating along my spine. “Can I tell you something?”
“Of course.”
Brent’s chest rises and falls as I listen to the oxygen entering and leaving his lungs along with the pumping of his heart.
“I’ve only ever had one good thing in my life,” he murmurs. “And I found her a long time ago.”
SEVENTEEN
We pull onto Cody and Shauna’s street situated in the quiet Milwaukee neighborhood. A stone-gray tone oppresses the mid-morning sky. It’s a typical Thanksgiving morning. Leaves fall from the trees and line the sidewalk as the wind fiercely blows in the late November air.
“Just a little farther up,” I tell Brent as he drives slowly up the road. “It’s a blue two-story on the left just at the end of this block.”
“Got it.”
After talking to Shauna the other day about Cody, Brent and I discussed the idea of joining them for Thanksgiving. At first, I was hesitant. I still am in some ways, but it’s the right thing to do. Although I haven’t spoken to Cody since that day when we shared those harsh words over the phone, Shauna texted and assured me that he was going to put our issues aside for the holiday. Also in the same text, she wanted to know if I would make an apple crisp. It’s in the backseat of our rental car.
“This one?” Brent asks, stopping in front of their house with a driveway full of cars.
“Yep, this is it.” I gesture out the window. “We can park on the street. There’s a spot up there.”
Brent drives farther up the block and parks the car next to the curb. He shuts off the engine, and we exit onto the street. The thin, sharp air hits my cheeks, stinging them slightly, as I close the passenger side door. I grab the dessert from the backseat of the car and join Brent on the sidewalk. He takes my hand, and I lead him past two houses. We’re at their front door in a matter of moments.
I ring the doorbell, and a dog barks within. I hear the sound of puppy nails scratching the hardwood floors just inside the door.
“Is that Dragon?” Brent asks, referring to the dog that was once my constant companion.
He now lives with Cody.
“I doubt it. He’s getting older. I bet it’s Rugby, their other dog.”
Brent wraps an arm around me, squeezing my shoulder. “It will be fine,” he says reassuringly.
“Get back,” Shauna enunciates from behind the closed door. “Go get Cody.” The skittering puppy nails retreat, and the door swings open. Shauna’s fiery hair comes into view with her pregnant belly protruding underneath a teal-green shirt. “You made it!” She steps forward, giving me a hug.
I pat her on the back with one hand, maneuvering around her stomach, while balancing the plate of apples with sugar in the other.
“Good to see you,” I say, stepping back and standing next to Brent once again. “Shauna, this is Brent.”
The glint in her eye shows that the image of Brent is more than she was expecting.
“Well, it’s nice to meet you,” she finally says after her open gawking. In typical Shauna-like fashion, she gives him a hug in greeting. “Come on in. Everyone’s in the den.”
We enter the house, and she closes the door behind us. Then, she leads us down the hall. Men’s voices echo throughout and get louder the farther in we proceed. Reaching the kitchen entrance, Shauna takes the plate from my hand.
“They’re right in there.” She points down the short hallway. “I’m just going to put this in the kitchen.”
“Hi, Dragon,” I say, squatting down and scratching behind his ears. He licks my face. “Ew. It’s good to see you, too.”
Brent bends over and pets the top of his head as I stand back up. Cody’s eyes meet mine and then glance toward Brent as he continues to pet Dragon. Cody’s trepidation is clear. He rises from his chair, leaving the rest of his extended family, and approaches us at the room’s entrance. I grip Brent’s hand tightly, making it clear that he and I are here together.
“Hi, Cody,” I offer, rubbing my free hand along my thigh. “Thanks for having us.”
“Sure,” he replies, forced and tense.
“Hi, man,” Brent says with his hand outstretched, being as cordial as ever.
Cody shakes it once.
“Good to see you again,” Brent adds.
Cody’s mouth twitches, and he returns his hand to his pocket. “Beer is in the fridge, and Shauna put out a few appetizers on the table. Feel free to help yourself.”
“Thanks,” I say, leaning into Brent.
Cody offers a tight-lipped smile and then walks back to his seat, joining the others. My body relaxes a bit now that the initial greeting is over.
“Brent,” Shauna says from behind us, “have you met everyone?”
“No, not yet,” he replies.
Shauna scoots her round belly around us and into the den. “Well, let me introduce you.” She faces her family, all seated together and chatting among themselves—except for Cody, who is now sitting back like a spectator. “Hey, guys,” she beckons their attention with her commanding voice.
They immediately stop talking and give her their ears.
“Ruby’s here.”
“Hey, Ruby,” her eldest brother, Marcus, calls, waving from the couch.
Her younger brothers, Tony and Daniel, follow suit. Her mother and father, both in their late sixties, nod in acknowledgment of our presence.
“Hi, everyone,” I say, smiling shyly while waving back.
“And…” Shauna continues, almost like a game show host. “She brought a guest. This is Brent.”