Deciding Tomorrow

by Ericson, Renee

  Her hand touches his shoulder before running down his bicep.

  I’m onto you. I’d use the opportunity to feel him up, too.

  “Hey,” Tony says. “Nice to meet you.”

  “Hey, Brent,” the rest of the family chimes in.

  “Turkey will be ready at noon,” Shauna announces. “So, get your appetites ready.” She adjusts her frame, facing us. “You guys good?”

  “I think we’re good,” Brent replies without any pause, his arm finding its way around my waist. “Thank you again for the invite.”

  “Of course. You are always welcome in my house.” Patting Brent on the shoulder, she gives me an approving look and then heads back into the kitchen.

  Shauna’s family goes back to their conversation, and Cody dives into his own little world, pondering his shoelaces.

  “You want to get a drink?” I ask Brent.

  “Sure, we can do that.”

  We enter the kitchen where Shauna is in the process of basting the turkey.

  “Can I help you with anything?” I ask, opening the refrigerator. I pull out two beers, one for Brent and one for me.

  “Sure.” She shoves the pan back into the oven, closes the door, and wipes her hands on the front of her apron. “You can hide in here with me if you want.”

  “I’m not hiding,” I tell her defensively, as I pop open the beers and then hand one to Brent. “I thought maybe you could use some help. I’m trying to be nice.”

  “Ha!” Brent quietly guffaws.

  “What are you laughing at?”

  “I think Shauna’s right.” He lifts his beer, saluting her. “She’s got your number.”

  “Whose side are you on?”

  “Oh, I’m on yours, but I know you.” He takes a sip from his beer. “You’re looking for a place to hide out.”

  I cross my arms and stick my tongue out at him.

  “It’s okay,” Shauna chimes in. “I’d be doing the same thing. Besides, I can put you to work.” She slides a bundle of carrots along with a cutting board and a peeler across the counter. “So, here you are. Get to work.”

  Over the next hour, I help out in the kitchen, preparing the meal. Brent turns on his inexplicable charm right away, and Shauna takes to him completely. A few times, she winks in my direction, declaring her approval, which brings a bit of relief to this strained visit.

  Her brothers come in every once in a while, getting a beer and giving her a hard time, like any brother would. Brent is able to hold a conversation with all of them, which doesn’t surprise me, given his easygoing and social nature.

  He grabs Tony’s interest the most after he asks Brent what kind of car he drives. It makes sense with the family business being the auto body shop. Apparently, Tony is some kind of connoisseur of German auto engineering, and he appreciates Brent’s love of Audis. Their shared interest seems to spark an immediate connection.

  I’m delighted that Brent can acclimate so easily in this strange-to-him environment. His ease puts me at ease.

  Brent and Tony are in the middle of some guy talk—something about car weight and distribution—when Cody silently walks into the room, getting a new beer.

  “Hey, babe.” Shauna rubs his lower back as he closes the refrigerator door. “Food will be ready soon. You getting hungry?”

  “A little.” He pops off the top and takes a swig. “Smells good though. Can’t wait.”

  “Hey, Cody,” Tony addresses him. “You need to show Brent your new project. He’s got a thing for Audis.”

  Cody glimpses at Brent and then takes another drink. “I think I knew that,” Cody says, voice quiet and even.

  “Oh, yeah?” Tony faces Brent. “You should see it. Cody’s almost done restoring a ’71 Audi 100 Coupe. It’s killer. I still have no idea how he picked it up since they don’t sell those things in the States, but it’s awesome. You have to check it out.”

  “Hmm…sounds pretty cool,” Brent replies.

  Cody takes another sip of his beer. Shauna and I share a glance, silently acknowledging the tension, as she washes her hands and I continue to stir the food on the stove.

  “It’s a great piece. You don’t want to miss it.” Tony starts toward the door leading to the garage. “C’mon, Cody, show it to him.”

  Brent waits, stagnant, allowing Cody to call the shots on this one as Tony rests his hand on the knob, ready to go. Cody takes another drink and then sets the bottle on the counter. Without a word, he walks past all of us, around Tony, and into the garage. Tony follows, oblivious to the evident anxiety. Brent raises his brows, places his beer on the counter, and joins them.

  The door clicks shut.

  “This should be interesting,” I say to Shauna.

  “I’m sure it will be fine,” she says, optimistic. “Besides, Tony is out there. I don’t know what Cody’s issue is with Brent. He seems really nice. I like him.”

  “Thanks,” I say, pulling a bowl of stuffing out of the refrigerator. “I like him, too.”

  “I can see why,” she teases. “He’s really cute.”

  “Yeah, he’s pretty easy on the eyes.”

  “That is a complete and total understatement. I almost fainted when I answered the door.”

  “That’s just pregnancy hormones getting to you,” I say, playing it off.

  “Uh…no. He’s hot, plain and simple.”

  I nod. “Yeah, he is.”

  We both laugh and then get back to work on the meal. Shauna checks the turkey again while I season the stuffing some more.

  “So, speaking of hormones,” I say, “when is your due date again?”

  “January second.” She shuts the oven before wiping her hands on a towel. “Five more weeks to go.”

  “Wow, time really flies. How are you feeling?”

  “Honestly?” she asks, retrieving a glass from the cabinet. Shauna fills it with water and then eagerly gulps the liquid. “I hate to say it, but I feel great other than the fact that my back has been killing me the past couple of days. It’s likely because I’ve been on my feet so much. And this little girl”—she rubs her belly—“kicks the hell out of me all day, every day, but I love it.”

  Her words hit me like a sledgehammer. I turn my head down and concentrate on mashing the potatoes. The thought of actually feeling a baby from the inside is still mind-boggling to me. What a wonderful and magical feeling that must be—a child touching and communicating with you and only you. A hint of jealousy stirs through me.

  “She’s kicking right now.” She sets down her glass on the counter. “You want to feel it?”

  Biting my lip, I nod my head. Shauna steps next to me and guides my palm onto her rotund belly. Her hand lays across mine as we wait, staring at our joined hands. The little girl growing in her stomach suddenly nudges my fingers.

  “Oh my God.” My hand jolts again from the contact.

  Shauna holds my palm in place as Scarlet continues to push and kick. It’s such a beautiful moment. She’s tapping, sending a message and saying hello. She’s communicating in a manner before words are even possible. The wonderment ignites the pricking waterworks.

  “It’s amazing,” I confess, unable to remove my hand yet.

  “It’s not so great when it’s three o’clock in the morning,” she kids. “Or when she decides to start whacking at my kidney. Trust me, it’s not so amazing then. That shit really hurts.”

  “I’m sure, but wow.” I remove my hand. I ball it into a fist at my side, not allowing the temptation to feel her belly all day take over. “I can’t wait to meet her.”

  “Me either.” She steps back and tosses a towel over her shoulder. “Five more weeks, and then Cody is in big trouble.”

  I snort. “He sure is.”

  The door from the garage opens and clicks shut. Tony comes into view from around the corner.

  “Hey,” Shauna says, confused, “is everything okay?”

  “Yep. Just gotta use the john.” Tony proceeds through the kitchen and down the
hall.

  No further words are exchanged.

  We dip into silence.

  Concern buzzes between Shauna and me as she washes a dish, and I add garlic to season the potatoes. We work together in the motions while Brent and Cody are alone with no chaperone.

  A shout from the garage perks my ears.

  “Did you hear that?” I whisper, setting the spoon to the side. “I think that was Cody.”

  A voice booms, louder than before. This time, it’s easy to identify it as Cody’s. Hesitantly, I sidle up next to the garage door, listening, with Shauna right behind me.

  “You motherfucker,” Cody barks. “I don’t think you know what you did to her.”

  “Trust me,” Brent retorts, voice rising, “I have a pretty good idea. Don’t think I don’t regret it either because I do.”

  I reach for the doorknob, wanting to put a stop to this right now.

  Shauna places her grip around my forearm and shakes her head. “Let them get it out,” she quietly suggests. “It will be better if they do.”

  I nod, agreeing that she’s right. I drop my hand from the knob, but I remain at the door, eavesdropping on their conversation, with Shauna by my side.

  “Man,” Cody snidely huffs, “I just don’t get you. You’ve got some balls, coming back after leaving her like that. If I were her, I’d fucking kill you. She lost your baby, and you run off to another country. You’re nothing but a fucking pussy.”

  “Oh, Ruby,” Shauna utters, slipping her hand onto my shoulder. “I never knew it was something like that. I’m so sorry.”

  Reaching up, I squeeze her fingers and concentrate on the wooden door. I’m unable to look at her, not prepared to deal with those emotions, while she’s carrying a child of her own. I’m unsure what to say to her. I don’t want to say anything at all.

  “You’re right,” Brent grunts. “I hate myself for the whole thing. She deserves way better. No one knows that more than me.”

  “No”—a door slams, echoing through the garage—“I don’t think you do know. There’s no way you could because you weren’t here to see it. You weren’t here to watch what happened to her, watch her wither away into nothing. Just like everyone else in her life, you couldn’t man up when you needed to, when she needed you to. I didn’t think you would ever do that to her, knowing everything you do about her dad. You fucking gave up on her.” The sound of an empty bucket being kicked and hitting a hard surface reverberates through the air. “That girl counted on you, and I thought you earned it. I trusted you.”

  “I never earned it,” Brent says in a quiet tone. “And I certainly never deserved it—or her.”

  I tense uncomfortably from Brent’s words, and my stomach drops to my feet.

  “No, you certainly didn’t deserve it or her,” Cody says. “And you definitely don’t now.”

  Leaning in closer, I press my forehead to the door. I want so badly to scream at Cody to shut the fuck up and to leave Brent alone. Cody has no idea what I need and what I deserve.

  “Well,” Cody continues, “I can’t let you fuck her over like that again. She’s finally getting her shit together. And what? You just swoop in with your fucking big-star soccer money and show her a good time. Then, what? Onto the next? Hell no.” Metal clatters, hitting the floor. “Fuck no. No way. Not fucking happening.”

  “Cody,” Brent states calm and even. “Listen, you’re upset, and you have a point. But it’s not like that, man, not at all. I’m not here to mess up anything, certainly not with her.”

  “Sure you aren’t,” Cody snaps. “I’m onto you, fucker. I know your game now. Save the poor girl with problems and then throw her away when the novelty wears off. Well, guess what? Not gonna happen this time. No fucking way.”

  “I’m not leaving her, and it’s not like that. I fucked up.”

  “You sure fucking did. And you fucked her up good.”

  A car hood slams shut, piercing my ears.

  “You fucking put her in the hospital!” Cody yells.

  “What?” Brent asks, exasperated. “What are you talking about?”

  “That’s it,” I say to Shauna, stepping back and opening the door. “I’ve heard enough.”

  I step down into the garage, finding Cody in front of the blue classic car with his hands on the hood. His face is fuming with anger, his nostrils flaring. Brent is standing in a wide stance on the other side of the garage near the rear of the vehicle. He is befuddled and raging.

  “Oh”—Cody rounds the fender toward Brent, not even noticing me—“you don’t know, do you? She didn’t tell you that. Trying to protect your poor sensitive feelings, I’m sure.”

  “That’s enough, Cody!” I yell, approaching him. “You’ve said enough.”

  “No,” he huffs, completely unfazed that I’ve entered the conversation. “He should know.”

  “Yeah,” I loudly agree. “But that’s for me to tell him, not you.”

  “Fine.” Cody stops in his tracks, crossing his arms. “Tell him. This should be good. I can’t wait to see the look on his face once he finds out what he did to you.”

  “Ah, fuck you, Cody! Florida was not Brent’s fault, you idiot.”

  “Ruby?” Brent asks tentatively. “What is he talking about?”

  “Yeah, Ruby,” Cody mocks, “what am I talking about?”

  “Cody,” Shauna stutters behind me.

  “Just a minute,” he replies, focused intently on Brent. “I want to see him hear what she has to say.”

  “Cody,” Shauna says again.

  Brent never takes his eyes from mine, his face full of many questions—questions I plan to answer, questions I need to answer.

  “Cody!” Shauna screams into the still air.

  “What?” he shouts, dropping his hands to his sides.

  “I think…” Her voice quivers. “I think my water just broke.”

  We all turn and look in her direction. Shauna stands in the doorway, gripping the doorframe, while a trickle of water pools at her feet.

  EIGHTEEN

  Anxiety abounding, I close the passenger side door and settle into the seat as Brent turns over the ignition.

  “What hospital?” he asks, vacantly staring through the windshield.

  “Does it matter?” I click on my seat belt.

  “I meant for Shauna.” He tightens his grip on the steering wheel, knuckles whitening. “Which hospital?”

  “Oh.”

  I give him the name of the hospital, spelling it out, and he types it into the GPS. Once the directions are ready, Brent puts the car into gear and pulls out onto the street.

  The second Shauna announced that her water broke, Cody raced to her side and then hurried her into the house. I’ve never seen him so worried in his life. The rest of her family quickly bolted into action, scurrying to get her into the car. Then, they followed close behind as Cody, in an obvious state of shock and stress, sped her to the hospital. Brent and I stepped back and out of the way, unsure of what to do other than turn off the oven so that the house wouldn’t burn down. Everything happened so rapidly.

  Our journey is silent. Brent and I don’t talk. We just listen to the route being voiced by the GPS, leading us to the hospital. Brent sighs heavily a few times, and his mind is clearly running in circles as he tongues the inside of his cheek. My heart pounds like a drum, thumping and bellowing, from the tension placed between us. I’m so overwhelmed emotionally and mentally.

  I contemplate, looking out the window, as I try to formulate the right words. I’m unsure of where to start and what questions to answer. Too much is happening in the present while the questions and accusations of the past linger in the air. Shauna’s untimely and sudden water-breaking has me concerned for her, Cody, and their baby.

  This shouldn’t be happening. It’s too soon. She just told me she has five more weeks. I hope everything is going to be okay. What a mess, a complete and total mess. Why does everything have to explode at once?

  After twenty minut
es of a silent car ride, Brent pulls into the hospital parking lot, finds a spot, and shuts off the car. He gets out without a word and meets me by my door. The rigid mood is extremely palpable. He puts his arm around my shoulder, surprising me, and we walk together into the lobby. In the elevator filled with strangers, we ascend to the labor and delivery floor. The door slides open, and I lead us straight to the receptionist desk.

  “Hi,” I say to the woman in a green cardigan sitting behind a computer. “We’re here about Shauna Miller. She arrived probably within the hour.”

  The woman taps a few things onto the keyboard. “Are you family?”

  “Yes.”

  “Your name?”

  “Ruby.” I strum my fingers on the desk. “Ruby Miller.”

  “The rest of the family is back in a private waiting room. Let me give the room a call.” She picks up the phone, dials a number, and waits. “Hi, this is the front desk. Ruby Miller is here if you could send someone out.” She pauses, listening. “Thanks.” She hangs up the receiver. “Someone will be right out.”

  “Thank you.”

  Brent and I move to the side of the room and wait for someone to come out to let us know what’s going on. He lightly rubs my back, relieving some of the building stress.

  About a minute later, the massive automatic door swings open, revealing Tony and Marcus, two of Shauna’s brothers.

  “Hi, guys,” Tony says, hand outstretched in a formal greeting.

  Brent shakes it without any hesitation.

  “How is she?” I ask, not going through the usual salutations.

  “She’s doing good,” Marcus states, hands tucked into his pockets. “They have her settled in a room and hooked up to monitors. Cody is with her now.”

  “How’s the baby?” I open and close my hands.

  “So far, so good,” Tony says. “The doctors are watching her closely, but they’re a little concerned since she’s not quite full-term. There could be some complications, I guess. But the nurse said we will just have to wait and see.”

  “Do they have any idea how long until the baby comes?”

  “Based on what the doctor told us,” Marcus says, “it could be a few hours”