by Dyanne Davis
“Yes, I know it, but we would save the world from having to be saddled with either of us. Let me indulge my taste for mangoes. Will you marry me, Heaven?”
“Yes,” she answered, feeling the tears, hot and salty, rush in a flood from her eyes, skip over her nose and land on her lips. Hamid begin kissing them. “I promised I would kiss your tears away,” he said. “When do you want to get married?” He leaned on his knees, holding her.
“Hamid, this is serious. I’m not converting.”
“I didn’t ask you to.”
“Do you realize what that means?”
“It means my dreams will become realities.”
Heaven shook her head before smiling. “We’re going to have a ton of problems, probably more fighting than you ever imagined. I’m not moving to Pakistan and you can’t move back here. How are we going to handle it?”
“We’ll find a way.”
“Hamid, what if we don’t?”
“Are you trying to go back on your word, Heaven?”
“No,” she answered, “I just want you to know I haven’t changed.”
“But you’re wrong,” Hamid said softly, looking into her eyes, outlining her lip with the pad of his thumb. “You have changed. A year and a half ago you hated me. Now you love me.”
Chapter Eleven
Heaven stood next to Hamid after witnessing Sassa and Isha take their vows. This wedding wasn’t all in English, but Heaven found it didn’t matter. She was happy for Sassa that he’d found his soul mate, almost as happy as she was that she’d found hers.
Two weeks after Sassa’s wedding Hamid stood with Heaven in a park and they took wedding vows from a non-denominational minister, with Ongela, Peaches and Latanya as her bridesmaids. Sassa and cousins of theirs she’d yet to meet were there for Hamid. He and Heaven had both compromised; The ceremony was not Christian, not Muslim.
Hamid gazed at Heaven before looking at the friends and family from both sides gathered there. He was hurting his parents by not having a traditional ceremony and by not returning to Pakistan to marry, but this was the best he could do. Their reception foods were also unorthodox: catfish and hala meats, steaks, chicken, salad, and rice.
“You’re my wife,” Hamid said to Heaven as they danced together, the breeze blowing over them.
“And you’re my husband,” she answered.
Hamid grinned down at her. “My words were not meant to be the start of a fight,” he said.
“Nor were mine,” Heaven answered.
Hamid laughed, kissed her forehead, and continued dancing.
* * *
Hamid sat on the bed in his pajamas waiting for Heaven to come from the bathroom. She was taking three times as long with her shower as he’d taken.
He went to open the bathroom door and found it locked. He knocked. “Heaven, are you coming out?”
He couldn’t understand the sudden shyness. “Heaven?”
The door opened and the sight of her took his breath away. She was beautiful. He stood for a moment, just looking at her in the silky mango-colored gown. His eyes trailed over her body, noting how the fabric clung to her. He bent suddenly, lifted her up and took her to the bed.
“You’re trembling, Heaven. Are you cold?” he asked.
“No.”
“Then why are you trembling?”
“No reason.”
Hamid kissed her. She was not as combative as usual. Good, he thought. He’d imagined they would fight before, during, and after they made love.
Keeping one arm around Heaven, he managed to flip the lamp switch off. His hands searched tentatively under the silk gown Heaven wore. He felt her pulling away.
“Heaven, is something wrong?”
“No, you tickled me, that’s all,” she answered. But Hamid heard the nervousness in her voice. Surely…Of course she has, he answered his own thought. She was American; this would not be her first time.
His hand slipped between her thighs and again he felt her pulling away. “Heaven, I love you,” he whispered. “I will not hurt you. Whatever you’ve heard about Arab men, I’m not a monster. Don’t assume I am, not on our wedding night.”
His lips found hers and he kissed her until she was breathless, until she pulled him close and he felt her loosen her legs. This time when he eased his hand between her thighs and found her nether lips, he dipped a finger in and found her moist.
Touching her made him hard. He remembered the first time he’d met her and had dreamt of her touching him, caressing his hardness. Now he had to guide her hand. He heard the sound she was making in her throat. She was touching him so gently that the thought again crossed his mind. It’s the first time she’s touched a man. Surely that wasn’t the case. He kissed her ears and felt her shiver. This was better, he thought. They had to get to know each other in this fashion to find the proper rhythm. Still, he wondered what was going on in his wife’s head. He knew Heaven well, was aware of her penchant for making assumptions without checking into the facts.
He peered at her. “Do you not want to make love with me, Heaven?” he asked quietly.
She nodded her head in the affirmative.
“You’re usually so chatty, why not now?”
“I want to make love with you, Hamid.”
“Then why are you moving away from me? We need to be close in order to make love, closer than we’ve ever been before. I will not hold anything back from you. I want to touch you all over. I want to taste every inch of you, and,” he looked at her, “I want you to want to taste every inch of me, but that is strictly up to you.”
Hamid watched as Heaven closed her eyes again. If he didn’t know better he would swear that she really was a virgin. She was behaving like one. But he’d asked her straight out. Wedding night jitters, most likely, he decided.
He finally pulled her gown over her head and removed his own clothing. Just having her touch him through the slit in the pajamas hadn’t been enough.
Hamid felt Heaven’s heart beating beneath his palm. He smelled her sweetness and moaned, then studied her for a long moment, wanting to read her, to see desire for him in her brown eyes.
There it was, what he was looking for. When she grinned and her eyes flamed with heat, he sank down into her lush softness, suckling one breast after the other, tasting her skin, lapping away hungrily. He moved downward, kissing her belly, her thighs and feeling the hot moistness that flowed like lava from her.
He moved to taste her nectar and she closed her legs. “Not yet, Hamid. I want to feel you inside me first,” she whispered in a voice made husky by desire. Hamid smiled. He wouldn’t argue with that request; he wanted that also.
“I want to please you, Heaven.”
“You will, don’t worry,” she said.
He eased away and positioned himself to enter her. Going in he was stopped by a look on Heaven’s face. For the third time the thought entered his mind and this time he knew it was true. “Heaven?”
“Don’t stop, Hamid,” she whispered in the semi-darkness.
He pushed gently against her opening, felt the resistance, felt her tense. Her nails dug into his back as she moaned and ordered him to continue.
“You’re a virgin.”
“Yes.”
“But I asked.”
“You assumed, Hamid. I didn’t tell you I wasn’t.”
“Why?”
“Can’t this fight wait, Hamid?”
Heaven’s hips lifted and she pushed herself forward, forcing Hamid to drive forward also. He felt the thin membrane rip, felt Heaven’s nails dig deeper into his flesh and heard her intake of breath as she took in the pain.
“Hamid, I love you,” she said, and he slid all the way in.
“I love you too,” he said. She was smiling with her eyes closed tightly. He knew the instant the initial pain subsided. He felt her limbs loosen and heard the moaning deep in her throat. He laughed before finding her lips and kissing her.
He wanted to make sure she enjoyed this. H
e timed his strokes to her breaths. When she breathed in, he went deeper, stroking her, feeling her heat, and when she exhaled, he pulled out.
Hamid watched Heaven’s face. Her eyes opened and ecstasy filled him at the look in her eyes. He saw the desire blazing hotter and hotter, heard her moans of delight increase, felt her body tense, but this time the tensing was expected. She was fast approaching her climax.
Heaven writhed beneath her husband. For only a half second did she think of Brandon. She’d never felt for Brandon what she felt for Hamid. She was overjoyed that she’d waited, overjoyed that she was making love to her husband. He filled her and she moaned, wanting to take him deeper into her body, enjoying the thrusts, the rhythmical rotations of his hips. She loved the way he was touching her, his finger trying to touch parts of her that were already filled.
A fire different than what she had experienced covered her entire body from head to toe and she felt as if she were falling headlong into a pool. What a glorious ride.
She held on to Hamid, her eyes on him. He must have known what was happening, for he lifted her hips and Heaven was now sitting on his lap. He was so deeply embedded in her body that she could barely breathe. Hot needles exploded in her toes and quickly traveled upward, exploding in the place where they were joined.
Heaven screamed out in ecstasy, her body tightening, her muscle clenching around her husband. “Hamid,” she moaned. Then she couldn’t speak. She was thrust into a world of wonder. Pleasure seared every cell of her body, and her very breathing caused a new wave of bliss.
Hamid rocked against her gently, sending aftershocks of delight rippling through her. She saw the look on his face and held on. It seemed he came forever as spasm after spasm gripped his muscular body and passed from him into her, causing a deep contentment.
Heaven had been told she wouldn’t enjoy her first time. That wasn’t true; she’d not only enjoyed it, she wanted to do it again, and again, and again.
Heaven couldn’t help laughing in delight at the grunting sounds Hamid was making as he came. He fell forward, surprising her how swiftly he moved to his back and brought her body to rest on his chest.
For a long moment, she lay on his chest, trying to remember how to breathe while his hands played in her hair.
“You lied to me,” he finally said.
Heaven didn’t pretend, not now. She finally wanted to do something with Hamid other than fight. And as soon as she could breathe again, she would ask him to repeat the things he’d done that made her entire body quiver.
“I didn’t lie,” Heaven said, rubbing her hand on the inside of his thigh. “You assumed, Hamid, and I let you.”
“I asked if you were a virgin. You allowed me to believe you weren’t. Why?”
“Because it wasn’t any of your business, because you were being such a…such a…man and I didn’t like it.”
“Then why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“It was never any of your business.”
“Not even when you agreed to marry me?”
“I figured you’d find out soon enough, and I didn’t want you thinking of my virginity as a prize.”
“Heaven, you’re too much.” Hamid ran his hand down her hips and paused. “How was it?”
She laughed. “What if I told you it was horrible?”
“I would try and do better next time.”
“And if I told you it was the most wonderful experience I’ve ever had in my entire life, and that I’m glad that I had it with you, what would you do?”
“I would make sure it was even better next time.”
Heaven looked up into her husband’s eyes and laughed. “In that case, it was wonderful.”
“And?”
“And I’m glad I had it with you.”
“You sure you’re ready to go again?”
“I can handle it if you can.” Heaven looked at him and grinned. Her words made Hamid laugh. Like Heaven, he’d done his own assuming. He’d assumed wrongly that as a virgin she would not enjoy it. He certainly didn’t anticipate her ravenous appetite. But he thanked the fates for it.
* * *
During that two weeks as man and wife, both Heaven and Hamid avoided the one thing they should be talking about, Hamid leaving. They both knew it was coming.
“Do you have a valid passport?” Hamid asked Heaven as they lay in bed.
“Yes,” she answered, knowing what was coming. She couldn’t leave her business, not now. There was too much to do. Besides, her business was her dream. She couldn’t just give it up.
“I bought you a ticket.” Hamid looked at her intently.
“I can’t go.”
“You can go. You always have a choice.”
“So did you, Hamid.”
“I’m your husband. You’re supposed to follow me wherever I go.”
“Stop talking crazy. You knew that wasn’t going to happen. And as if you didn’t know what my answer was going to be before you spouted off that nonsense, here’s a surprise for you. I’m your wife; your place is here with me.”
Hamid rolled over and looked down at Heaven. “Why do you have to turn everything into a fight? I have to return home, and I want you to go with me.”
“Just like that? You want me to pack my things and go. What do you think will happen to my business? I worked like crazy to make it happen, and now that it’s off the ground I can’t just walk away.”
“Does your business mean more to you than I do?”
“Does your clinic mean more to you than I do?” Heaven stared up into her husband’s eyes, then closed her own. She’d known from the beginning that getting involved with Hamid would mean far more drama than she was willing to put up with.
“Heaven, this has to be the shortest honeymoon period in history. I didn’t think that even the two of us would find a reason to fight so soon.”
“I’m not trying to start a fight with you, Hamid, but you sprung this on me. Maybe, just maybe, you should have thought of asking me.”
“If I had asked you, Heaven, would you have said yes?”
Heaven opened her eyes again and stared into the intense brown eyes of her two-week husband. “I wouldn’t have gone, but we wouldn’t have had a fight.”
“Heaven, we have to learn to compromise. We both promised that we would. We’re married now, we have to try.”
“I’m willing to compromise, I am, but you can’t expect me to change. I warned you. You can’t expect me to just up and move to a foreign country where I don’t know anyone.”
“You know me.”
“What am I supposed to do when you’re not there, Hamid? And what’s going to happen to my business?”
Heaven moved away from him. “I think maybe we should have put a little more thought into it before we got married. I think maybe the romance of the moment got in the way of the reality. We could end it, Hamid, if that’s what you want. We could end it with no hard feelings. We could both return to our lives the way they were before we ever met.”
He reached for her and she moved away. “Not now, okay? Not this moment. You’ll hold me and I’ll think about how much I love you and forget the problems. And when we’re done, the problem will still be there. We have to find a way to take care of the problems.”
Heaven got up from the bed. “I have some work to do,” she said, over her shoulder. “Please, Hamid, don’t come after me.” When he didn’t she was a little disappointed, but turned on her computer and did the work that had piled up in the last five days. She tried to think of ways she could run her business from out of the country, but didn’t think it would work. Her business was a hands-on affair. Cases changed hourly and she had to be there to oversee it all. Sickness and death couldn’t be planned, and neither could the nursing availability. There was no way she could leave the country with Hamid.
She loved him. She would not lie about that, but the real possibility was that perhaps they shouldn’t have gotten married. They had both been wearing masks, pretending, com
promising so much they they’d ignored what was important to them. They had even managed to forget who they were. One of them had to make them remember.
* * *
“Where were you?” Hamid asked, meeting Heaven at the door. He looked at the bag in her hand and took it from her.
“I went to the store. Take your shower and I’ll start breakfast.” Heaven gave Hamid a mild peck on the lips and started the coffee. She knew he was wondering what she was doing. He’d know when he came from the shower.
Heaven sucked in a breath, pulled out pots and pans and began. She didn’t know what would happen when Hamid came into the kitchen, but it was time they both put their cards on the table.
It didn’t take long. Within fifteen minutes, Heaven heard Hamid coming toward the kitchen. She braced herself.
“What’s that smell?” he called out to her.
It was now or never. “It’s breakfast,” Heaven yelled back.
“What is it?” Hamid said, coming to stand beside her. He started to put his arm around her, wanting to make up for their fight, wanting them to not fight any more. When he saw what was in the pans, he stopped and pulled away.
“What is this, Heaven?”
“Breakfast.” Heaven turned from the stove to face him. “Bacon, ham, sausage, grits, eggs, pancakes and fresh fruit.”
“You know I don’t eat pork.”
“But I do, Hamid. You can choose the foods you want to eat.” She looked at the table filled with food. “This is my compromise.”
“I don’t think that this is meant to be a compromise, Heaven. I think this is more your declaration of war.”
“It’s who I am.”
Hamid looked at the table. “I think I need to leave for a while to clear my head. I have things to think about.”
“There is food there that you can eat, Hamid. A compromise requires two people. I’m not going to be the only one giving up something in this relationship.”
“Relationship? This is more than a relationship. This is a marriage. And I believe it’s not wrong of me to expect that my wife not put food on the table that is offensive to me.”
“And I—”