by Dyanne Davis
“Save it, Heaven, I know your answer. I’ll be back later. We’ll talk then.”
She licked her lips and pressed her tears back. She had offered a compromise, not war. She wanted her marriage to work, but she didn’t want to lose her own identity.
Heaven removed the last of the bacon from the pan, turned off the stove and sat down to her solitary meal. She heaped her plate, ignoring the tears that coursed down her face. She wasn’t even hungry, but she forced herself to eat. Otherwise it would have been a meaningless gesture.
* * *
Hamid paced back and forth through Sassa’s apartment. He glanced up from time to time, opened his mouth to speak, but couldn’t bring himself to do it.
“What did she do that was so horrible, Hamid?” Sassa asked at last, as though bored with his pacing.
“She made breakfast for me. Bacon, sausage, and ham. She had tons of the stuff.”
“Did you eat it?”
“No.”
“Why did she make it?”
“To prove a point.”
“What was her point?”
“That she is not going to change for me.”
Sassa laughed. “You knew that from the moment you declared that fate had sent her to you. You knew it.”
“That was then. This is now,” Hamid said angrily. “I’m her husband.”
“She knows that, Hamid. Be honest, this is not about your wanting to control Heaven. This is about your having to leave her, and that’s more than likely the reason she made the breakfast for you that she did.”
Hamid sighed and shook his head. “You know me so well, Sassa. I don’t want to leave her. How can I leave her?” He sighed again. “I bought her a ticket to go with me, but she refused.” He stretched his long legs out in front of him. “What am I going to do?”
“Only you can answer that. Which do you want more, Heaven or to remain faithful to a vow?” Sassa shrugged his shoulders. “It’s a hard choice, I know, but it is just that, a choice.”
“You think I have a choice in this?” Hamid shook his head and looked sadly at his cousin. “I have no choice. If I did, I know what I would do. I would remain here with my wife.”
“Then maybe you should be telling her that and not me.”
“That still doesn’t solve the problem.”
“It doesn’t solve the problem, but it might buy you a little time to figure out something.”
“I have to leave in two weeks. Nothing is going to be figured out in that time.”
“No, but you would still have a wife.” Sassa peered at him. “You still want to be married to Heaven, don’t you? You’re not thinking about divorcing her, are you?”
“Divorcing Heaven?” Hamid glared at Sassa. “Heaven gave that to me as an option.” He shook his head. “It’s not an option. I love her. I will always love her. I want our marriage to work. I just don’t see how it’s going to happen with us in two different countries. I can’t be that far away. I’m afraid she might try to find a reason she doesn’t want to remain married.”
Sassa asked the obvious. “Did you speak to your father?”
“I did, and he said the marriage still didn’t release me from my obligations. In fact, they’re all extremely angry that I would get married without them. They want Heaven to come there and repeat the vows, or they will not accept that we’re married.”
Sassa laughed. “So that’s why you bought the ticket. You were trying to trick her into another wedding.”
“No,” Hamid answered, “I was trying to keep my wife by my side. How would you like it if Isha decided to go and live somewhere else?”
“I would follow her,” Sassa answered quickly.
“You have no vow.”
“And you shouldn’t have one. No one in this day and age would put himself into deliberate servitude. Well, not the very wealthy anyway. And Uncle shouldn’t ask so much of you.”
“My family has given me a lot, and you know my father’s adage. ‘To whom much is given, much is required.’
“Then if you feel the price to pay is your happiness, then pay it. But, Hamid, it is still a choice.”
* * *
Hamid wondered as he put his key in the lock what kind of mood he would find Heaven in. He opened the door and found her staring at the computer monitor. He went to her and stood looking down at her for a moment.
“Tell me not to leave, Heaven, and I will not go.”
He watched as her eyes found his. He saw the tears glistening and shook his head. His finger moved to wipe the first tear that came. “You do not have to cry,” he said, bending before her. His arms went around her and he held her. “I told you I would love your tears away. I never said I would make you cry. Tell me not to go and I will stay here with you.”
“I don’t want you to go,” Heaven said, and burst into sobs. She held him so tightly that he felt her entire body tremble with her sadness.
“Are you telling me to remain here?” More sobs followed. And he caressed her back. How could he leave her?
“I can’t ask you to break your vow, Hamid, but no, I don’t want you to go.”
“I can’t do both, Heaven. Either I go or I remain here with you.”
“How long will you have to remain there? When would you return?”
“I suppose I could stay three months at a time and return here for a month.”
“Would it be like before? You told me you were coming home in a month, no more than two. You were gone eight months.”
“If I go, I give you my word I will return in three months.”
“Is that a promise, Hamid?”
“It is a promise I will not break, Heaven. Are you thinking about allowing me to leave? Are you saying you will be here waiting for me each time I return?”
“I’m thinking about compromising. I want our marriage to work and it won’t if I ask you to stay here with me. You won’t be happy with that choice.”
“I won’t be happy if I leave you. I don’t want to leave you, Heaven. I’m weak; all it would take to make me stay is for you to tell me to do so.”
He held her face in his hand. “Nothing is as important to me as you are, my beautiful little wife, not my vow, nothing.”
Heaven smiled. “If that were true we would not be having this conversation.”
“About that compromise you offered. I’ll take it. No more fighting,” Hamid said. “We have two weeks left. I want to put at least three months of loving into that time so my thoughts will keep me warm on the coldest of nights.”
For the next two weeks, Heaven and Hamid made love as if each time would be their last. Then the time arrived when it actually was their last. They lay in bed entwined in each other’s arms.
“We’re going to need to go to the airport soon,” Heaven said softly, playing with the thick, black hair on Hamid’s chest.
“I don’t know if I can tear myself away from you.” Hamid held her tighter, caught up in his own feelings, not wanting to leave yet knowing he couldn’t stay, not the way he’d left things in Pakistan with his family. He’d done enough already by deliberately marrying Heaven regardless of their wishes. That was the one thing he was not sorry for. No one could have made him take a bride that wasn’t Heaven. He’d not given a vow about that.
He smiled at Heaven. “You never did tell me how you manage to smell like lemons, yet taste like mangoes.”
Heaven laughed. “That’s my secret.”
For a split second, they were both silent, both lost in their thoughts. “It’s not too late, Heaven,” Hamid said at last, “either to come with me or to demand I stay.”
“Demand?” She laughed. “You’re saying I can demand and you will do it? I don’t think so, Hamid. Don’t worry. We’re going to be okay. I’ll be here waiting for you.”
“I changed your ticket, it’s open-ended. You can come whenever you want and I’ll be there, waiting for you the moment the plane lands.”
“And I will be here waiting for you.”
“I�
�ll call you every night.”
“Those calls are going to kill us.”
“Don’t worry,” Hamid assured her. “I’ve opened a checking account for you. Use it to take care of bills, and your personal needs. If you need more, just tell me when I call and I will wire more into the account immediately. I left the checkbook on the nightstand for you with a note.”
“Hamid, I didn’t need you to open a checking account for me. I have my own. And I don’t need you to send me money, I make enough.” Heaven saw the look that came into her husband’s eyes and decided to tease him. “I can send you money.”
He kissed her to shut her up.She was aware of it and it didn’t matter. His hands traveled the length of her body, roaming so slowly over her that shivers of anticipation claimed her. How would she ever get by without having Hamid make love to her? Three months was a long time.
She touched him, felt his wetness, but took it as slowly as he was doing. They had to make the moment last. This would be the last time they would touch each other for three months.
“Hamid, will you sleep with anyone else?”
He nuzzled her neck for an answer.
“You said you could have more wives. Will you take another while I’m here at home? There would be no way for me to find out.”
“I won’t dignify that question, Heaven. You have no need to feel I will betray our marriage bed. My vow to you is sacred.”
“Are you going to ask the same of me?” Heaven whispered softly into the lightened room.
“There is no need,” Hamid replied, “because, unlike you, I trust you and I know that you will not betray our marriage.”
“How do you know that?” Heaven teased, wanting to see the jealous light go off in his dazzling gaze. He didn’t take the bait. Instead his hands moved over her body, between her thighs and came to rest in her wetness.
“When I touched you again, I would know.”
He pressed a finger, two, and then three into her, cutting off her words. Heaven moaned and a tremor trailed over her back. She gripped his hardness in the palms of her hands, rubbing up and down the length of him. She smiled as he trembled at her touch.
“Not yet, wife,” Hamid ground out, his voice rough, filled with need, with wanting. “I haven’t kissed you all over yet. I have to have the taste of you to make this horror bearable.”
He pulled out one finger at a time, scraping each against Heaven’s cervix before removing it. She was having a mini orgasm with his touch, but she would have the big one when they were done.
When he removed the last finger, he heard Heaven’s soft, “Hamid, no,” and laughed as he reinserted the finger deep inside her. He felt her muscles loosen slightly before clamping around his finger and pulling him in even deeper, so he reinserted a second and then again the third. When she arched upward, he pulled out a little and waited.
“Not yet, Heaven, there’s so much more.” He kissed her ear, then suckled the lobe, pulling it into his mouth, allowing his hunger for her to be satisfied for the moment with devouring her ear.
He twirled his tongue into the shell shaped organ, blew his warm breath gently inside, and at the same time pressed his fingers deeper into her body. He felt the hot liquids cascading over his fingers and grunted. Neither of them was capable of having a conversation.
Hamid then lavished the same attention on Heaven’s other ear. He moved to her face, kissing her nose, her eyes, her cheeks and finally her lips.
The nectar of the gods was on her lips and in her mouth. Her tongue drew him in deeply. Their tongues battled for dominance but when he pressed his fingers against the soft fleshy hidden delights, Heaven gave in and allowed him to take control. She moaned, her eyes glazed with desire. “Hamid, I love you,” she said.
Allah, how am I going to leave her? he thought and closed his eyes to the sudden pain he saw in hers. He wondered if she’d perhaps spotted his pain.
He dipped his head and lapped away at the hollow of her throat, pulling her soft skin between his lips, placing little kisses all over her. He nibbled his way to the opposite side. He would make sure Heaven was well loved. He would make sure she waited for him and him alone.
At last, he slid down her body. He circled one nipple with his free hand while his tongue circled the other. He pulled a taunt nipple into his mouth and bit down until she squealed. Then he released her and repeated the act, each time making sure his fingers fed her fires from below.
The way her body was arching into him, he knew he couldn’t keep the big orgasm away for long. And he didn’t know if he wanted to. She was touching him, fondling him, kissing and licking him as he was doing to her and the heat between them sizzled. His own fluids were running from his body, covering his hairy thighs and her hand. But he wasn’t done. He’d promised and this would be the last time for three long months. He pulled his fingers from inside her body and tweaked her gently. He wanted her to hold on just a little longer.
“Hamid,” Heaven pleaded.
“Just a little longer, my love.”
He kissed her abdomen, allowing his tongue to swirl circles across her flesh. He dipped his tongue into her navel, felt a spasm rip through her and stopped. When it subsided, he returned to pleasuring her. He kissed his way down one leg and then went for the other.
He made sure every inch of her body was lavished with attention from his tongue, his fingers, and his teeth and then he moved lower and tasted the juices that he’d made her spill.
He pulled away quickly and worked his way farther down her legs, nibbling the calves, kissing her toes, kissing his way back up. Then he stopped once again at the entrance to all of her secrets and he again tasted her sweetness. He held her tightly, not letting her go as her nails dug into him and she attempted to push him away. This would be the first time he’d brought her to orgasm in this manner.
“Hamid, I can’t hold back,” Heaven moaned.
If he had been able to talk, he would have told her that was the plan. He felt every muscle in her body tense, felt her hips undulate as she ground herself into him while at the same time tried to pull away. Still he held her to himself. His tongue raced farther than he’d thought possible, and he felt the moment when there was no turning back. Hamid heard the sound deep in her throat, felt it on his lips, felt it in her womb. Then he tasted her relief and as he did tears of joy poured from his eyes and mixed with her juices. This was the big one for his new bride. He remained where he was, tenderly kissing her, his tongue caressing her, taking every drop she had to give. When her legs went limp, he continued still, until he heard her sigh of satisfaction.
“Hamid,” she called softly. Then he went into her arms and entered her, gently at first. Then his thrusts became harder and harder and faster. He pumped for all he was worth, for the three months he would be away from her.
And again, the thought, “Allah, how am I going to do it?” floated through his mind. Heaven’s legs wrapped around his back and drove him home. Hamid screamed out. The sound to his ears was like that of a madman. His release tore through him and filled the space that would separate them. They would be a continent apart but this would bind them for that time and forever.
He kept pumping even after he was spent and satisfied, and then he saw the tears in Heaven’s eyes and they cried together. Fate had brought them together and fate would find a way for them to stay together.
He had time for only a quick shower but there was something he needed to do first. He ushered Heaven into the shower, gave her the lemon-scented bath gel and kissed the tip of her nose. “Give me a second,” he said, and moved away then turned to watch the water cascading over her. He sucked in his desire and ignored his burgeoning arousal. He’d been in that state since he’d returned to Heaven. Since it looked as if neither fate nor Allah was going to intervene, Hamid had no choice but to make his leaving easier for both of them.
He held the phone to his chest. It was done, he thought as he entered the bathroom and stepped into the shower with Heaven
. He lathered her and accepted the same from her, not acting on his desire or hers.
Finally, when they could draw it out no longer, he climbed from the shower, wrapped a towel around his wife, and marched from the bathroom. “We have to get dressed,” he called to her and hurried away.
* * *
In less than twenty minutes Heaven and Hamid were dressed. When the bell rang, Hamid buzzed the caller in without asking who it was. A chill claimed Heaven’s soul. Something was very wrong.
“Who’s at the door, Hamid?”
“Sassa.”
“Is he going with us?” Heaven watched her husband’s face as it fell. She saw determination in his eyes when he finally looked at her.
“Sassa is taking me to the airport.”
“You mean he’s going with us?”
“I don’t want you to go. It will be much easier if you stay here.”
“Are you crazy? Of course I’m going with you.”
“No, Heaven, you’re not.” Hamid turned from her and opened the door to Sassa. He gave him his bag. “I’ll be down in a second,” he said.
“We’re coming down now,” Heaven said, glaring at Sassa and Hamid. “The two of you cooked up this little plan, but it’s not going to work.” She rushed forward, shoving Hamid, who wouldn’t budge. She shoved harder, intending to bring her husband down if she had to. She was not staying home.
“Go, Sassa, I’m coming,” Hamid said quietly.
“I’m going, Hamid.” Heaven made for the door and struggled against Hamid’s strong arms. She elbowed him, her arm landing on his chest, but he had her in a bear hug.
“Don’t fight me on this. I need you to stay home, pretend that I’m just going with Sassa for a drive and I’ll be back soon.” He struggled with her for a minute, trying to push away the sound of the pain in her sobs.
“Heaven, you must stop it,” he said. “We agreed.”
“We didn’t agree to this,” came her tearful reply. “How could you just decide to shut me out like this? You can’t make my decisions for me, Hamid. I know you’re trying to make your leaving easier for me, but you have no right to do it.”
Hamid tilted his wife’s head and looked into her eyes. “I didn’t do this for you. I did it to make it easier for me. This is very hard for me, Heaven. I don’t want to leave you, and if you’re there at the airport, I will not be able to get on the plane. So please, as a favor to me, please this one time do as I ask, remain home.”