Inhuman

by Danielle Q. Lee

  She nodded as she lifted her teacup to her mouth, her lips twitching with a smile. I envied her quiet wisdom, her ability to surrender to the winds of faith and know without a shadow of a doubt that whatever divine powers that be…would protect us.

  Staring down into the dark waters of my tea, I debated on how much I should tell her of the last few months. Some of the experiences were so horrific, I didn’t know if I could even repeat them, let alone tell a frail old woman who’d likely never heard of such atrocities.

  Breaking the silence, grandmother spoke quietly to me. “Cassia, I know you’ve come for answers and I will tell you what I know, but I must warn you, I don’t know all the answers.”

  I fought against the tears brimming in my eyes. Before she could continue, I jumped up and moved around the table to hug her.

  Rubbing my back, she added cryptically. “I know you have seen many nightmares, my child, but I fear there may be more to come.”

  Pulling back from her loving embrace, I looked her seriously in the eyes. “Please, just tell me what you know.”

  Gesturing for me to take a seat, she began, speaking slowly in her native tongue. “The day you were born, my apprentice and I were out collecting herbs in the desert. It was very hot, even for February. We’d spent the entire day collecting sagebrush to use for my cleansing rituals.”

  She rose from her seat and retrieved something from a nearby cupboard. “While we were walking near Doe Mountain, I found this.” She placed a leather satchel on the table. “I figured it couldn’t have been there long, it was very clean with no sand on it.”

  Nodding, I understood what she meant. Anything that dares land on the desert’s floor would very soon be smothered by the sand. Grabbing the tiny bag, I held it in my hands and caressed the smooth leather with my fingertips.

  Continuing, she wrapped her shawl tighter around her shoulders as she spoke. “I looked around the place, for the owner. Walking a ways up the mountainside, we heard screaming coming from one of the caves.”

  “Screaming?” My eyes widened as she told the story.

  “Yes. When we reached the cave, we saw a woman in there…ready to give birth.” Sighing, she continued. “Fate. Coincidence. Luck. How is it that a doula and her apprentice would be walking through the desert and come upon a pregnant woman ripe with child? I still ask myself that every day.” Lowering her head, obviously tired, she muttered the last part as though to herself.

  “Was this…” I held up the satchel, a waft of tobacco drifting from it as I moved it. “hers?”

  Lifting her head slowly, her eyes met mine as she responded. “No, that…was your father’s.”

  My father.

  Grandmother sat across the table from me, her eyes, though focused on me, were tired and fighting to stay open. Most likely exhausted from old age and the time of night, but I suspected she was also weary of the secrets she’d been holding onto for over twenty years.

  “Was he…there?” I felt numb as I watched my grandmother intently.

  “Yes. He was there.” Her voice was quiet yet I could tell that she was relieved to be divulging this information.

  Confusion overwhelmed me. Tears flowed freely down my face as mixed emotions rose to the surface.

  “Why?” I spoke louder than I meant to but the anger was rising within me. “Why did they both leave me behind?”

  “Cassia, please don’t be angry with them…or me…we did what we had to do to protect you.” Fatigue strained her voice as she continued. “Your father didn’t want to leave you behind; he did it out of love.”

  “Love?! He left me out of love?! What does that mean?” All the years of abandonment, neglect…how did that equal love in any way? I wanted to slam my fist on the table or throw the teacup across the room.

  Protect me?! After all I’d been through over the last few months, seems to me that their little ‘plan’ of protecting me hadn’t worked very fucking well!

  “Child, please, listen to me.” Her eyes pleaded with me and I took deep breaths to calm myself.

  I hated this. I hated learning that the one person I trusted in life had lied to me. After a moment of composing myself, I looked my grandmother straight in the eyes and waited…for the truth.

  “Cassia, your mother died right after she had you.” I inhaled sharply as the shock set in. “Your father begged me to take you, to keep you and…hide you. He never told me why, only that you were the most precious being on the planet.”

  I swallowed hard as a painful lump formed in my throat.

  He knew. He somehow knew about my blood.

  “Did he say…anything else?” I managed to force the words out between sobs.

  “Yes.” She exhaled sharply as she continued. “He said that someday…you would help change the world.”

  Melting into a pool of my own tears on the kitchen table, I didn’t know if her answers left me feeling relieved or more confused. I knew that she was telling me the truth, but there was still so much I didn’t understand. A thought flashed through my mind, making me sit straight up.

  “Did my mother have a star? A birthmark…like me?” I knew before my grandmother even spoke that she did. The sparkle behind her eyes lit up with the question.

  “Yes Cassia, she did.”

  Joy. I felt immense joy that my mother was like me. Even though I still didn’t know what we were, I was just happy that there had been another.

  Frowning with yet another epiphany, I asked. “My father…did he?” I pointed to my chest with hope.

  Shaking her head, she responded with less enthusiasm. “No, just her…and you.” Then she added with a very serious expression. “There is a prophecy that the elders used to speak of. The Kachina.”

  I sat up with interest, normally the old legends of the elders didn’t spark much curiosity within me but I was beginning to believe in fairy tales.

  “The elders spoke of a coming time when the new people would arrive. They said that they were of a royal bloodline and would be called…the star people.”

  I’m sure my eyes widened to the point where they would soon fall out. This was all too unbelievable.

  Aliens, were they talking about aliens?!

  Closing my eyes and resting my head in my hands, I tried to wrap my head around her words. In the disbelief of the moment, I began to giggle. I laughed so hard that I nearly bowled myself out of my chair. My pregnant belly jiggled like a bowl of Jello. Looking up at grandmother, she looked offended, but that only seemed to make my maniacal musing even worse. Snorting as I fought for air, the laughter bubbled out of me.

  God it felt good.

  I wasn’t laughing at my grandmother or her story, I was laughing because for the first time in my life, something completely irrational made perfect sense.

  If she had told me before this whole nightmare had started that I was some space creature, I would’ve turned tail and run away as fast as I could, but because of the fear, torture and inhumanity I’d endured over the last few months, I completely believed her.

  For the first time in months, I cried tears of laughter. Poor grandmother stared at me as though I was completely cracked.

  After several moments of basking in the glow of lunacy, I decided to ask her the question that had plagued me since the beginning of this nightmare. Though I was certain I knew the answer, I needed to hear it with my own ears.

  Composing myself, I asked. “Grandmother, what am I?”

  Wisdom danced through her eyes as she opened her mouth to answer. “You are…”

  Before she could answer, however, her front door flew open with a large bang! Keanu stood in the doorway, panic marring his handsome face.

  “They’re here!”

  Peering out of my grandmother’s window, I saw over a dozen men in black approaching the bonfire.

  With nearly my entire tribe standing in a semi-circle around the fire, I was genuinely frightened for the fate of my people. Plain and spiritual people, they were unaccustomed to violenc
e and manipulations.

  Keanu and Tanaka scoured my grandmother’s house for supplies and weapons, supplies they found plenty of, weapons, however, were scarce.

  I noticed my grandmother eyeing Tanaka suspiciously as he searched her home. Thinking nothing of it, I turned back to the window to watch the unfolding drama outside.

  The men in black appeared to be chatting pleasantly with the chief of our village and a few of the elders. I shuddered as I imagined what the Majestic 12 were telling them. What if they convinced my people that I was guilty of Amy’s murder and my village turned against me? If they handed me over to the men in black, I would be shipped straight back to the facility…if I was lucky. After all of this, I’m sure the Majestic 12 simply wanted my baby, and my head on a platter.

  Swallowing hard, I was pleasantly relieved when Keanu came up from behind me, slid his arms around my waist and whispered in my ear. “Time to go.”

  Turning around, I stared up at his face as I realized he wasn’t upset with me about Meyers or the fact that the baby might not be his.

  Inhaling a calming breath, I looked out the window once more to witness a malleable tension form between the men in black and my village.

  The chief was waving his hands and pointing as though ordering the outsiders to leave. A spark of hope fired in my chest as I watched the villagers move into an aggressive stance as though readying themselves to protect their home.

  “Let’s go.” Keanu stated, leading us out the back door of grandmother’s house.

  A streak of lightning ripped through the black fabric of the night sky as we ran through the dark. Thunder growled overhead with a vengeance as though the gods were shouting obscenities at the Majestic 12. They were intruders on sacred land, our land.

  Escaping down a shadowy path behind grandmother’s house, we scrambled up a steep embankment. Grandmother led the way with Keanu helping her over the unpredictable terrain. Tanaka stayed close to me, holding me up when my cumbersome body threatened to topple me over.

  With my grandmother nearly blind, I hoped that she could navigate her way to the cave without getting us lost in the desert.

  Angry shouts and screams could be heard from the village below us. The Majestic 12 had ambushed my people and I feared for them. I knew the Hopi natives; they were fiercely intelligent and resourceful people. I just hoped it would be enough to keep them alive.

  Tanaka held my hand tight as we shuffled down the side of the hill. Low growing brush slashed at my ankles and sand worked its way between my toes.

  The mournful cries of coyotes in the distance and the whistle of roving winds suddenly captivated me.

  The dream.

  If it weren’t for being surrounded by people who cared for me, this scenario would have mimicked my reoccurring dream exactly, wandering the desert in the pitch of night, searching for the bane of my existence…the cave.

  Grandmother had stated earlier that she’d discovered my mother in labor within Doe Mountain. Irony mocked me as the realization sank in. All this time, all these years, I’d searched for a cave that I thought was miles and miles from the village, and here, it was less than a mile from home.

  “Stay low.” Keanu whispered, now in the lead.

  Edging our way down the mountainside, a helicopter emerged in the distance, searching the ground below with a powerful spotlight. Its great blades sliced through the air, chopping their way toward my village like an army of battleaxes.

  Even though my body was flooded with adrenaline, I found it nearly impossible to push myself further. Exhaustion and a sense of failure overwhelmed me. I had led those maniacs to my village and now my people had to fight them off.

  My heart was heavy, but my abdomen felt even heavier as I forced myself to move forward. In the moment that I was going to fall upon my knees and surrender, my grandmother spoke the words I’d waited my whole life to hear.

  “There it is.” Pointing a crooked finger to the east, a bolt of sheet lightning tore across the sky as though illuminating my way home. Following the direction she was indicating, I could distinguish Doe Mountain.

  With the intermittent flashes of light ripping through the sky, I could just barely make out an opening high on the mountainside.

  The cave.

  “The path up the mountain has eroded since you were born.” Grandmother uttered with a tinge of fear in her voice.

  Picking up the pace, Keanu led the small group toward the base of the mountain.

  It occurred to me while standing before my nemesis that this was a crazy plan. How was getting us into an old, musty cave going to protect us from the Majestic 12? They would eventually locate us, wouldn’t they? Cowering inside a rocky cavern, did we really think they would just give up and stop searching for us?

  A gentle hand upon the small of my back gave me the motivation to continue. “Come on Cassia, you can do it.” Tanaka’s tender voice urged me, giving me that inspiration to keep going.

  Sweat ran down my forehead and strands of my long black hair stuck to the side of my face as I clawed at the ground, forcing my body to ascend. Pulling myself up over the rocks and grasping at branches within my reach, I thought I might never see the top of this mountain.

  Reaching a narrow ledge only a few feet from the mouth of the cave, my back against the wall of the cliff, I did what a person was never supposed to do in my situation—I looked down.

  Even though it was pitch dark all the way down the side of the mountain, I could tell that we were fairly high up. My knees quaked a little as my hands groped along the surface behind me.

  The path beneath my feet grew narrower as we moved along. Tanaka moved slowly behind me while I followed my grandmother and Keanu to the entrance of the cave.

  My left foot searched for a grip in the darkness, my right foot following only after a secure foothold was found.

  Only a few more steps baby.

  I wanted to rub my stomach, to soothe her though I knew the comfort I sought was for myself.

  With only a foot or two left before we reached safety, I suddenly lost my footing and slipped forward. Sliding into the abyss of darkness, my pregnant belly slammed into the side of the mountain as I plunged forward.

  Somehow, in the midst of my fall, Tanaka had grabbed hold of my arm and literally held onto me while I dangled precariously at the edge of the cliff.

  Involuntarily screaming, I prayed for two things—that I’d be pulled to safety and that the Majestic 12 didn’t hear me scream.

  My large belly bumped against the side of the cliff as Tanaka struggled to maintain his unsteady grip on me. With two of his arms, he had a hold of only one of mine. With the weight of my body, he fought to simply prevent me from tumbling down the side of the mountain.

  “Oh god!” Keanu’s voice penetrated from within the shadows, his footsteps growing louder as he moved to help us.

  I tried to remain as still as possible until he reached our location. Worry began to set in as I heard Tanaka grunt and then fumble for a better hold on me. With the warmth of the desert night and the physical struggle, his palms felt sweaty and slippery against my skin.

  “Keanu! Hurry!” I screeched as Tanaka’s grasp began to loosen even more.

  I just wanted this over with. The whole nightmare just kept getting worse and worse. Not that I wanted to plummet off the edge of a cliff, but I was ready to be done with this experience.

  My arm was sliding further and further from Tanaka’s hands. Soon he would only have my slender wrist to cling to. If Keanu didn’t hurry, the baby and I were going to die a horrible and tragic death.

  As the pain of Tanaka’s grip overwhelmed my wrist, I honestly didn’t think Keanu was going to find us in time. He hadn’t been that far ahead of us but the narrow edge of the cliff and the darkness likely slowed him down.

  Tears of relief flooded my eyes as I suddenly felt another set of hands wrap around my forearm; I was shocked when I was lifted so easily up into Keanu’s arms.

  Buryi
ng my face into his chest, I sobbed with relief and fatigue. My arm throbbed all the way from the shoulder to the wrist. Leading me the rest of the way to the cave, I looked back to make sure Tanaka had made it safely.

  “Should we light a fire?” Tanaka asked, his voice weary and strained.

  “No.” Keanu answered, “Too risky.”

  “Wait.” Tanaka exclaimed. “The cave, it goes much deeper. Come on, back here!”

  Following his voice, Keanu, grandmother and I felt our way through the shadowy abyss until we were startled by the strike of a match and Tanaka’s face suddenly lighting up as he held up the flickering flame.

  My grandmother gasped loudly and she moved toward Tanaka. Leaning in close to him, inspecting him, she whispered. “Could it be?”

  “Yes healer, it is me.” His expression warmed with a wide smile as he glanced around at the faces sheltered within the cave…pausing the longest at mine.

  As the flame slowly flickered out, I knew instinctively who he was. Somehow I think I’d realized it the first few minutes of our meeting, but wouldn’t believe it.

  My father.

  No one had to tell me, I just knew. Like a memory that had burrowed deep within my soul, I just knew who he was. Feeling my way through the darkness, I found him and gave him a big hug. A sense of completion filled me as I was held in the arms I had yearned for. I didn’t care anymore that he had missed being in my life, he was here now.

  Rubbing my back, Tanaka and I gently pulled away from one another. Wiping tears from my eyes, I stated. “We should start a fire.”

  Keanu’s confused voice responded in the darkness. “Here?”

  “Yes.” My voice was firm.

  “Why?” Keanu inquired.

  “Because…the baby’s coming…right now.”