Rent Boy

by James Anthony Ford

  At the end of the river tour, Steve asked me to give him a hand with carrying the raft back on the trailer. As we were carrying the boat, he was at the back of it, I was up the front of it, we started chatting about the day. We put the raft on the trailer then he asked “So, what’s on the agenda for the rest of the day?” “Umm, I’m not sure...perhaps just sitting by the pool or something” I replied. I was waiting for him to ask me out for a drink or something. In fact I think he was going to. We both just looked at each other for a few seconds then he said “Well, we better get back on the bus” I thought ‘Damn!”.

  As we were heading back to our hotels I just kept thinking that I really wanted to see Steve again. During the entire trip back to the hotel he sat up the front of the bus, I was at the back. He never even looked at me during the trip. Maybe he just was not interested. Or maybe he was actually straight, or maybe he was just being polite to me before. I was asking for too much. I mean why would a guy like that go after someone like me anyway? So I just dismissed the idea of any chance with this hottie. I’ll just go back to the hotel and relax by the pool for the rest of the day.

  All the other passengers were dropped off at their hotels first. I don’t know why, but I was the last one left on the bus which was strange as we had past my hotel several times. So I don’t know why the driver couldn’t just have dropped me off then. But eventually we arrive back at the Hilton. As I was stepping off the the bus I was hoping Steve would stop me and ask that question I was dying to hear. Instead he said ‘See ya later mate”. I said ‘See ya and thanks”. Then the bus drove off, he was gone. Just like I thought, I had no chance with him at all. Until I happened to look back as the bus was driving off down the hotel driveway and then it stopped like it came to a complete sudden halt. I thought, what was going on? Did I leave something behind? I think I did as Steve ran off the bus carrying what looked like some sort of blue jumper or something, I wasn’t sure. I just stood there staring at him as he was running towards me. Then there it goes again, my heart started to pump. He said “Ummm......I found this on the bus, is it yours?” he asked with a nervous tone. I knew straight away that this was an excuse for him to ask me something and I was waiting for it. I had to break the ice somehow but I could not find the courage to ask him out myself. I just couldn’t do it and neither could he. We both just stood there and staring at each other shyly. He was just about to walk off, then as he turned away from me to just about walk off he faced me again, took a deep breath and said “I know this is out of the blue, and I don’t know if I’m gonna make a fool out myself but,,,umm....but....do you....ummm....wanna drink sometime?” I immediately was thinking ‘Yahoo!’, but I had to contain myself but immediately replied “I was hoping you would ask me that’. He smiled with a gasp of relief and said ‘Great, I know Cairns pretty well so I can show you around and stuff”. “Great I said, how about tonight?” He was kind of surprised that I asked to see him so soon but he looked excited. So was I. So we agreed to meet down in the hotel lobby at around 8ish. As he walked off, almost with a kind of joyful skipping type of walk, he smiled and said “See ya tonight!”. I was just too happy to say anything so I just gave him a wave and walked back inside to my hotel room with a sigh. It was like a sigh of like a ‘schoolgirl crush’. I really like him. A lot.

  That night Steve picked me up from the hotel right on 8 o clock on the dot. He looked hot. We both seemed to have the same style of clothing on. We both just word a casual pair of pants, a casual fitted shirt, pair of thongs. Quite smart casual, very appropriate for this tropical climate and atmosphere but without looking like an American tourist with those tropical shirts!

  I will never forget the way he looked that night and the look he gave me when he picked me up from the hotel lobby as I was patiently waiting for him. When he walked in the lobby it just seemed to come alive, like it glowed. ‘mmm, you look cool” he said in a low tone as to not be heard. “So do you” I replied with a slight half smile. Then as soon as we left the hotel together we started chatting away all the way to some bar we went to. I think it was a straight bar, but that didn’t matter, it was not as though he and I were obvious, if you know what I mean. We had a beer or two and he asked if he could take me out to dinner. I was flattered. Not because he was offering to pay for dinner but it was the way he asked me. Almost gentlemanly like, it was sexy and so attractive.

  We arrive at some seafood restaurant in the centre of Cairns by the harbour. It was a nice tropical atmosphere and good food but most of the company. We talked and talked for hours about ourselves. But it was the way he spoke about himself, it was totally unpretentious and so masculine. I was so attracted to him and it was growing by the minute. He told me that his actual name was Stefan, but everyone calls him Steve. He was a part time white water rafting instructor and the rest of the week he actually cuts sugar cane in the nearby cane fields. He also told me that he was a qualified Agriculturist and came to Australia on a working visa. He loved Australia and the people and especially loved the Cairns area. He spoke of it with great pride, it was his home. I also told him quite a bit of myself as well leaving out the part about the escort work, he doesn’t need to know that anyway. The whole night our eye were glued to each other. As the night went on we even ended up playing ‘footsies’ under the table. Even though it was a bit childish we both saw the funny side of it. I think we were up to our seventh bottle of red wine and we were the last table still sitting in the restaurant. The staff were putting up chairs on the table around us as if to say get out we are closing. We didn’t care. We just kept talking and rubbing our feet against each other’s under the table. Then it started getting a bit heated up. We started talking slightly dirty to each other but whispering it to each other. I think we both had a little too much wine but the dirty talk was for real. We thought we better leave the restaurant and we both felt like doing something else in the balmy tropical night so he said “I’m gonna take you to a gay club”. “In Cairns?” I asked with surprise. I didn’t think there was a gay scene in Cairns, but there was, only small though. So he took me to Cairns’ only gay club. I have to admit it looked nothing like the clubs I was used to but this was Cairns and you can’t have it all. It was a kind of glammed up pub. There were only a handful of people, well, actually it was half full, but this was a small club. The music was a bit outdated. It was commercial house music. I didn’t complain, that would just be selfish and uncool. I just was glad to be in the company of Steve. As we arrive at the club and walking up the stairs he put his arm around my neck, like we were a couple. I did the same. We both just got a drink and huddled ourselves into a dark corner. The music was so loud that it was no use in talking to each other, instead we ended up cuddling and kissing in the corner like a couple of school kids. But this was no ordinary kissing and cuddling. This was very tender and genuine. But it was not long that we were just plain getting hot for each other that we had to leave. Steve, or Stefan, grabbed my hand and said in my ear above the volume of the pumping music “I think we should go back to your hotel room!”. I nodded my head to agree. I think if we stayed a minute longer we both would have exploded.

  I don’t think I need to get into the details of what happened in my hotel room that. Use your imagination. But what I will say is that it was the most blissful evening I had ever spent with another man. A real, that is. This guy, not only hot on the outside, but on the inside too. I can’t explain the amount of true passion we both felt that night but I wished it never would come to an end. This was not lust. This was something else. But I kept telling myself that it was too soon to feel this. Or was it? This was a real man that made me feel like a man, not a boy, like the others.

  The next morning we awoke next to each other side by side and we both just laid there for an hour just staring into each other’s eyes. I know, it sounds sickening. But that’s how it was. I was captivated by this man. Every touch, every breath, every kiss gave me goosebumps. What was going on here, I thought? I began to think that nev
er had I ever felt this way, it was such a new feeling, a new emotion that I had just experience and it felt so fucking good!

  I think we spent the entire day in bed together the next day just messing about. You know, like lovers do. Again, I know it sounds sickening. I did not want to let him go, and he did not want to leave. He chucked a ‘sickie’ at work. I had nothing planned on my itinerary anyway.

  I was due to go to Port Douglas in a couple of days and I asked Steve if he wanted to join me whilst I was there. He was delighted and of course he came but on about the second or third day I was there as he had to work. We spent another few blissful and passionate days together and quite frankly I don’t remember really what we did together. All I remember is him. I mean, I think we just were simply together not doing much. We didn’t need to. I was also due to go to Dunk Island in a few days’ time but he really couldn’t join me for that as he really had to work. I understood that.

  The day I was due to leave for Dunk Island Steve wanted me to meet his housemates before I left. I found that flattering that he wanted me to meet his friends already, so to speak. But he said that there were two housemates and only one of them knew he was gay and the other one didn’t. In fact he was homophobic. So it was a mystery to me as to why he would want me to meet them? Perhaps this was his way to ‘come out’ to his homophobic housemate. I will never know. So anyway, I met the housemates. But both, very friendly and down to earth guys. I don’t exactly come across as immediately gay, nor does Steve, as we are both quite straight acting. They were nice guys though and a lot of fun. So that was that and I was off to Dunk Island. Steve wanted to take me to the airport.

  As we were driving to the airport we were both silent. I began to feel a bit sad. I wondered was this it? Another fling, another opportunity lost? So I had to ask but he beat me to it like we were thinking the same thing. “So....what now?” Steve asked in a deep concerned tone of voice. “Ummm...Steve, I have to admit....the way you make me feel....well, you know, I really.....like you but if you don’t want to see me again that’s okay” I said trying not to cry. “Don’t be silly mate, I do want to see you again, I really like you, I mean....I reeeealy like you, you complete me as a man” he said with complete sincerity. I was overwhelmed with flattery. I didn’t say anything I just smiled at him, kissed my two fingers and tenderly put my fingers on his lips as a sign of love. I think I am falling for him. Badly.

  The day at the airport. When I departed for Dunk Island. It was such a saddening goodbye but it felt positive. We knew we would see each other again. We knew we would contact each other via phone, text, email or whatever it takes. This thing we were experiencing was for real. I will see him again. I know it will be soon. The image of him is tattooed in my mind. It was a beautiful permanent tattoo.

  So I spent a few days on Dunk Island and I think I spent more time phoning and texting Steve during my time there then doing anything else. Well, I spent most of my day just lying on the beach under a palm tree. It was a beautiful place surrounded by tropical rainforest and so tranquil. Apart from the screaming kids which I tried to avoid at any cost. That meant staying clear from the pool area where it was family central!

  On the way back to Melbourne I took a stopover in Sydney and stayed I think it was for two nights. Just to make my holiday complete. I have to admit the only thing I did in Sydney was have copious amounts of sex with god know how many guys. But the thing was, I was thinking of Steve the whole time. Every guy I had sex with in Sydney I was picturing Steve. Funny how that was the case. But I didn’t tell Steve I went to Sydney. But I don’t think that’s cheating on him, however, that was not the feeling I had when I had to go home. I had a guilty conscious. The holiday was now over and it’s time to go home.

  ..............................................................................

  I arrive home. Back to reality. Back to Melbourne. Yeah, great, I thought. But what a holiday! I had actually moved into my own apartment in Toorak so I was living alone by this stage. This is something I was longing for, for a while as I was over the housemate thing. Having my own place, renting of course, meant complete freedom and vacuuming the house in the nude!

  I realised I had Steve on my mind the entire time on Dunk Island and in Sydney. I was now completely cashless, hardly any credit left on my credit cards and totally all sexed out. I was over it. Over everything for the time being. I need peace, just for a little while. Then of course a couple of days later I discovered I had the crabs. Again! Typical Sydney guys!

  A few days later, after I got my bearings again and can start to feel my arse again from the pounding it got in Sydney, I went back to work. Of course I had stories to tell. I had a reputation at the bank for being quite the adventurous traveller so everyone always were interested to hear my stories. Except I left out the juicy parts! I was particularly taken by the whole tropical holiday thing. The atmosphere, the climate and the everything tropical made me want more. So guess what? Yes, that’s’ right, I just had to plan my next tropical getaway.

  Steve and I kept in contact for the next couple of weeks after I returned to Melbourne whilst I was gathering brochures from travel agents about tropical destinations. Not once did I give any thought to my suffering credit cards limits. The banks just kept offering me limit increases and i just kept taking advantage of the offers. So I always had available credit. After a little research and indecisive behaviour I decided that I would next go to Fiji via Cairns to see ‘you know who?’ I also wanted to go to Europe again but I thought I would do that the following year. We will just wait and see what happens. I was not sure if my boss would give me more leave again as I think I was pushing my luck. I had been to Fiji before years ago with my family when I was about fifteen or sixteen. I liked it then. But I would like to go on my own without the family ‘syndrome’ thing. So I started planning when I would go and how much money I have and all that kind of preparation for a holiday stuff.

  About a week later, so that makes it roughly three or four weeks after I returned from my Cairns holiday I began to feel a little under the weather. I called in sick one day to work as I began to get a really sore throat. I went and saw the doctor and he said I had a case of tonsillitis. But a few days later it was getting worse. I began getting unbearable body aches and pains, mega headaches, fever, sweating, shaking and shivering. You name it, I was getting it. I was had never felt so sick in my life. So I returned to the doctor and explained my symptoms and he was even surprised that the antibiotics he prescribed me were not working against the tonsillitis. He was actually really shocked and said that I have a very bad case of a flu virus. It felt more than that though. So he prescribed me stronger antibiotics and painkillers.

  A week later I was still sick as a dog. I could barely get out of bed in the morning. My body felt as though it was literally dying. I kept thinking to myself that this was not normal but what the hell is going on? I was not getting any better, I was getting worse. My boss rang me after about a week and a half and asked if everything was okay. I said that I had a really bad case of the flu but I did not know when I would be well enough to come back yet. He was concerned but said he would see me when I was better. I didn’t really tell anyone that I was really sick. I told my mum but I just said that I just had a flu and not to worry. I really did not want her to know how bad I was really feeling.

  Two weeks later and I was still so very, very sick. Something was not right but I was too scared to go to hospital as if I think about it now, that’s where I really should have gone. I remember one night I was watching the ‘Golden Girls’ and TV at around 10:30 pm and I suddenly started having breathing difficulties. Then my heart started to pump harder like it was some sort of panic attack. Then my body felt as though it was caving in, I can’t find any other way to describe it. I felt like I was about to die. This was it, I thought, but not if I can help it. So I called 000. I needed urgent medical attention but I thought, how am I going to describe what I am feeling. What, tell the operat
or that I had a bad case of the flu? They would probably laugh at me. So I hung up and I just laid on the floor. I was almost waiting for my body to die and I was saying to myself “Just get it over with, kill me, I can’t anymore of this pain!” Then I took three times the dosage of the painkillers and fell asleep on the floor. I thought I had just died.

  I awoke the next morning. I thought it was impossible that I was still alive. I will never forget that immense pain I felt that night. It was unbearable but it seemed I was feeling a little better. Well, I was still feeling like crap, but I definitely not feeling the same as I was. So got up and found that I could actually walk around without too much pain. A few days ago I could barely make it to the bathroom without vomiting. I went to the bathroom, looked in the mirror and got the shock of my life. I had lost so much weight, you could see my ribcage and the skin on my face was hanging down off my cheekbones. I looked terrible. What was happening to me?, I thought. I hadn’t eaten anything for days, even the taste of water made me want to throw up. I could not get any fluids in at all. I was struggling. But I was doing everything on my own. I would not tell anyone of the pain I was going through. This was my own private nightmare, but I will get better. I have to.

  Three weeks have gone by and I was still and still away from work. My boss was getting concerned and so was I. I was still sick but I would not tell anyone, not even a doctor, of how bad my condition was. I would not even tell Steve, I just told him I just had a flu and not to be concerned. But he was, he basically called me almost every day to check on me. There were some days I just did not have the energy to even pick up the phone, I had to let my calls run to voicemail. I felt like I was embarrassed about how ill I was as I was always fit looking and healthy. But I was actually slowly getting better but it took a good month for me to get back to work. Even after that month of extreme sickness I was still not feeling the best. I still was feeling a bit fluey, my energy was lacking and got very fatigued easily. When I returned to work I found that the first few days I got back I had to leave work early still as I was very tired and ill. I was still not right. It took roughly six to eight weeks before I really felt like myself again. After those six or eight weeks I started going back to the gym again. I had to get back my body, I looked like a skeleton.