You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This

by Karenna Colcroft

  Stefan held the outside door open, and Erin hurried through. “Are you all right?” Stefan asked as he followed her.

  “Sure,” Erin replied, carefully not looking at him. Pull yourself together. You’re going for coffee with the biggest crush you’ve had since high school. Now is so not the time to cry again.

  “Okay.” Stefan didn’t sound convinced. “So you still want to go for coffee?”

  “Yeah.” She curved her lips into a smile that she didn’t have to work quite as hard for as the one inside. “Am I following you there?”

  “If you want, or I can drive you over and then bring you back here for your car afterward.”

  That was the last thing she wanted to do. Having him drive her would mean she’d be stuck there until he decided to leave. Which wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing, unless coffee didn’t go as well as she hoped. “I’ll follow you,” she said adamantly.

  “Okay.” He gave her a puzzled smile, and they went to their cars.

  The coffee place, one of the chains which seemed to sprout on every street corner, was only a few blocks from the studio. Erin had never been there. She didn’t drink much coffee, and she preferred to spend her income on groceries rather than foamy concoctions with random names and sizes that didn’t make sense.

  However, since Stefan had asked her, she hoped he would pay for whatever she ordered. And if he didn’t, her bank account would stretch for one four-dollar mocha a year.

  He held the door for her as they entered the almost-empty shop. Only the barista and a young man with a striped sweater, shaggy hair, and death glare focused on the laptop computer on the table in front of him occupied the place.

  The multi-pierced blonde girl smiled as she walked over to the register to take their order. Stefan ordered something that Erin barely understood, with soy this and extra that. The barista didn’t seem fazed at all, just scribbled notes with a grease pencil on a small plastic cup.

  “Order whatever you want,” Stefan told Erin. “It’s on me.”

  Despite that, she ordered only an herbal tea. At that time of night, the less caffeine she had, the better.

  Once they had their drinks, they sat at a table near the door, well away from the grumpy college kid. Stefan sipped his drink, then set it down and traced the edge of the lid with his finger. He cleared his throat, but didn’t speak.

  Great. Erin jiggled her leg. Being alone with him made her nervous enough. Seeing him nervous as well didn’t help a bit.

  “You’re doing great as an instructor,” he said finally. “The students really seem to like you, and you do a good job of showing them the steps and working with the ones who are having trouble without making them feel stupid.”

  “None of them should.” Erin sipped some of her tea. “They’re all adults. They should all know by now that dancing isn’t as easy as the pros make it look, and that learning something new takes time.”

  “Not all of them seem to be aware of that. Remember that woman last week who walked out?”

  “I felt bad for her.” After tripping over thin air and stepping on two partners, the woman had left in tears. Erin had wanted to go after her. With a dozen other students there, she hadn’t felt like she could leave.

  Stefan shrugged. “If someone wants to learn to dance, they can. It’s unfortunate when someone gives up that easily.” He flicked the lid of his cup. “I didn’t ask you to coffee to talk about class. We’ve been working together for months, even chatting before and after class, and I feel like the only thing I know about you is how well you dance.”

  “That is all you know.” She didn’t talk about her personal life to anyone other than a few select friends and her mother.

  “I’d like to learn more.” He looked at her hesitantly, and a slight reddish glow spread across his cheeks. The blush looked so cute, Erin wanted to lean across the table and kiss him.

  Of course, she didn’t move.

  “We dance together well,” he said.

  She smiled. “Of course. You’ve been instructing for how long? And I know you’ve been in a lot of competitions. You even tried out for that so you want to dance TV show, didn’t you?”

  His cheeks reddened more. “A couple years ago, yeah. I reached the elimination rounds, then got sent home the third day there.”

  “That’s still really good.” She would never have even dared audition for something like that.

  “How old were you when you started learning to dance?” Stefan asked.

  “I thought we weren’t talking about class,” she countered.

  “We aren’t. We’re talking about ourselves.” He drank more of his concoction. “My parents started me on dance lessons when I was five because I drove them crazy.” He chuckled. “Not really. I just had a lot of energy, and I didn’t want to do any sports because none of them appealed to me. Dancing, I liked, because I had fun finding out how my body could move.”

  “I was twenty.” She swallowed a larger gulp of tea than she’d intended and burned her mouth. Coughing, she gestured toward the napkin holder on the counter, and Stefan hurried to get her a handful of napkins.

  She pressed the rough paper over her mouth and kept coughing, trying to rid herself of the burning and the tea which had gone down the wrong way. Nothing like making a fool out of myself in front of this guy.

  Stefan’s eyes filled with concern. “Are you okay?”

  She nodded, still holding the napkins over her mouth. After a few seconds, she decided the coughing fit had ended and got up to throw away the napkins. The barista, wide-eyed, held out a paper cup full of water. “Here. Sorry about that.”

  Erin took the cup and gratefully drank some of the cold water inside. “My own fault. I drank too fast. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  Erin sat down again and stared down at the table to avoid meeting Stefan’s gaze until he reached over and tapped on her cup. When she looked up, he gave her a reassuring smile. “Stupid tea tried to choke you. I saw the whole thing. That stuff can be vicious.”

  “Yeah.” She managed a small smile in return. “I’m fine, just embarrassed.”

  “Why? Because your tea attacked you?”

  She laughed. “Yeah, I guess it did. I just… thinking about how I started dancing hit me hard. Scott taught me.”

  “Ah.” He looked down at his cup. “I’m sorry if I brought up something unhappy.”

  “Learning to dance was happy.” She rested her hand on the table near his. “Scott found me dancing by myself in the college gym one day and asked me to go to class with him. I brushed him off a few times, and somehow that made us friends. He started teaching me some West Coast steps in the gym and kept bugging me about going to class, and I finally went with him. I like remembering that stuff. It’s just hard thinking about him right now.” Her throat grew thick, and she swallowed. “His accident was almost a year ago.”

  “Anniversaries of losing someone can make you feel like you’re losing them all over again.” He slid his hand over to touch hers. “Next year won’t be as bad. The year after, less bad than that. This year, let yourself grieve however you want. We all knew him at the studio. You and he were great partners. His death hit everyone pretty hard.”

  “Were you and he friends?” Erin asked. She hadn’t really known Stefan before Scott’s death. They’d seen each other in passing during social dancing, and that had been all. Erin had been a student in the advanced class taught by Scott’s friends Brian and Doug, while Scott had taught one of the intermediate classes. She didn’t think Scott had known Stefan well either, but that didn’t mean the men hadn’t known each other outside the studio.

  Stefan shook his head. “He didn’t really seem to spend time with anyone other than you.”

  Erin’s face grew warm at his implication. “We were just friends and dance partners. There wasn’t anything romantic between us.” She’d never even considered it, and if Scott had thought of her romantically he’d never said anything. “We
were better as friends.”

  “Well, you danced together beautifully.” He squeezed her hand. “So let yourself do what you need to do to get through the anniversary. Let me know if I can help, and don’t be afraid to cry.”

  Erin nodded and brushed her hand over her eyes. “Yeah. Later, when I’m not sitting in public. Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome.” He moved his hand away.

  Disappointed, Erin tried another, more successful sip of tea. “Look, Stefan, I appreciate you asking me out for coffee. This is something... well, to be honest, this is something I’ve been hoping for a while now. Now that we’re here, I’m not quite sure what your plan is. Are we just colleagues out for a cup after class?”

  “I don’t know,” he said quietly. “You tell me. Talk to me, Erin. All we do every week is walk into the studio, talk about the music and the steps, and leave again at the end of the night. I’d like to be friends.” He hesitated. “Honestly, I wouldn’t mind being more if things go that way. I really like you, Erin. I think about you a lot.”

  Her mouth dropped open and a warm shiver ran through her. So he hadn’t been ignoring her all these weeks. All the touching, all the dancing had affected him too. She didn’t want to seem too eager, though. “You haven’t acted like you wanted to be anything other than colleagues.”

  “What was I supposed to do, kiss you during class?” He grinned. “Oh, wait, I did that last week. Every time we’ve danced together lately, I’ve thought about kissing you. Looking into your eyes, I feel like I’m falling into something that I can’t even describe.” He shuddered, an exaggerated move that made Erin laugh. “Yeah, I sound like a complete sap now, don’t I? Laugh it up, kid.”

  “I’m not laughing at what you said,” she assured him. Warmth radiated through her from his words. She hadn’t imagined the connection between them. He wanted her as much as she wanted him.

  “I know.” He gave her a tentative smile. “So what are we, Erin? Are we just colleagues out for a cup?”

  His liquid brown eyes looked uncertainly into hers, and she spoke the answer without giving herself time to think. “No. No, we aren’t just that.”

  “Good.” He paused. “So you heard me talking about that charity competition. I know you said you don’t compete anymore, and I understand why. But I hoped you’d consider partnering me.”

  Her chest tightened. How can he even ask that? She didn’t know if she wanted to compete without Scott, and even if she did, she and Stefan would hardly have enough time to put together a routine. “You said it’s a week from Saturday,” she snapped. “Last minute crunch?”

  “We already know how to dance with each other,” he pointed out. “And I’m kind of stuck. My usual partner for this thing can’t be there that weekend. Please, Erin. I’m one of the organizers, and the charity has a special meaning for me. I need to be part of it. I can really use your help.”

  Sure, because I’ll be a huge help in a week and a half. She didn’t know whether she’d even be able to partner with him in competition. Competing wasn’t the same as demonstrating steps to a class or even social dancing. They would have to develop and practice a routine, and the amount of time they’d have to put into their practice to be ready in less than two weeks boggled her mind.

  On the other hand, the superstitious part of her wondered if maybe this meant it was time for her to move on from Scott. Not forget about him, not ever forget. Just let go of him a little more, as she’d done when she’d returned to the dance studio, and let herself enjoy competing again. If nothing else, having something like this to focus on might help her through the anniversary.

  “Let me think about it,” she said.

  “Okay.” He paused. “Did you think yet?”

  His eyes twinkled, and she knew he was teasing. Yet, it pissed her off. “You can’t just spring this on me and expect an instant reply! I know there isn’t much time for us to be ready. Maybe you should have thought of that sooner.”

  “Probably.” He took a deep breath. “Okay. I know you didn’t expect this. Take some time. Just please let me know by Thursday so I can change my plans if I need to. Arrange a solo or something.”

  “I’ll let you know.” She smiled. “Thanks for asking me, anyway.”

  “I don’t know anyone else who can keep up with me.” He fiddled with the lid on his cup. “We’d barely even have to practice. We already dance so well together.”

  “Now you’re just trying to sweet talk me.”

  He grinned. “Yep. Is it working?”

  “I’ll let you know by Thursday,” she replied.

  He finished his drink. Erin pretended to sip the rest of her tea, which she no longer wanted, until Stefan said, “As much as I’d love sitting here with you for the rest of the night, I think they’re almost ready to close. And I have to go home. My dog’s probably going nuts right about now.”

  “Yeah.” She would head back to her apartment. Merit wouldn’t be home tonight, probably. He mentioned that he had another rehearsal as she was walking out the door.

  So she would go home alone.

  Again, Stefan hesitated. “Do you want to see where I live?”

  “You sure you want to show me?” Her heart leapt, and she quickly cracked a joke to hide her pleasure at the invitation. “I might come back some day when you’re gone and rob you blind, you know.”

  “The only thing I have worth taking is my dog, and I don’t think he’d go with you.” Stefan winked. “I’m not trying to put the moves on you, unless you want me to. I just—I’d like our conversation to continue.”

  She wouldn’t mind a bit if he did “put the moves” on her, but just spending time talking with him appealed. She would arrive home later than usual, but that didn’t bother her. Even though she had to work the next day, the store where she worked selling shoes and clothing to ballet, tap, and jazz students probably wouldn’t be very busy. Unlike the studio where she taught, the studios attended by the store’s customers ran on set terms and schedules, and most of them had already begun their current terms, which meant most of the students had already purchased what they needed and hadn’t been in classes long enough for their shoes to wear out. If she went to work tired the next day, no one would be likely to notice. “Sure. I’ll follow you.”

  His face lit up. “Good.”

  You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This

  Chapter Three

  They drove to the next town and down a cul-de-sac. Stefan parked at the curb in front of the smallest house on the street, a white ranch with a driveway only large enough for one car, tidy flower beds, and a brick walkway out front. Although it looked like nothing special, the building radiated a sense of home that caught Erin’s breath.

  She parked behind Stefan. He got out of his car and trotted over to her window, which she rolled down. “Park in the driveway,” he instructed. “I have a street parking permit and you don’t. I wouldn’t want you to end up with a ticket.”

  She didn’t expect to stay long enough to be ticketed for illegal parking, since most places only patrolled after midnight. Still, she appreciated his consideration. She nodded, and he stepped up onto the curb so she could pull into the driveway. Shutting off the engine, she studied the house with a strange feeling that she belonged there. That she had arrived home.

  Ridiculous. She didn’t know where things would go between them after tonight. They’d just had coffee together and decided to be friends outside class. To see where that friendship took them. This house might become a place where she spent time, assuming he invited her over again. It wouldn’t be her home, though. Not for a very long time, if ever. She refused to even think that far ahead in their relationship. She shook her head and opened her car door.

  Stefan hurried over to extend a hand to help her out. Smiling, she took it. “I can make it out of a car on my own,” she said, using him as leverage to stand.

  “Yes, and I can play gentleman.” He grinned. “Come on up to the door. Just wait a minute before you c
ome in. I have a rather large collie who thinks he’s a lap dog, and I want to be sure he doesn’t knock you down in lieu of greetings.”

  Erin laughed. “I don’t mind. I like dogs.”

  “Trust me, he’s stronger than he looks and twice as stupid.” Stefan led her to the back door and unlocked it. “Besides, I’ll need to bring him outside before you and I settle in. He’s been shut up in there since about three this afternoon.”

  Erin nodded and leaned against the wall beside the door while Stefan went inside. Raucous barking and laughter floated out of the house, followed after a moment by Stefan leading a blue merle collie on a leash that didn’t look nearly strong enough to hold the dog. The animal immediately spotted Erin and tried to jump up on her.

  “Gorilla, down!” Stefan snapped.

  “Gorilla?” Erin raised an eyebrow and held out her fist for the now-docile dog to sniff. “You’re too pretty to be a gorilla.”

  “Big enough to be one, though.” Stefan affectionately scratched Gorilla’s ear. “Got him last year when I decided my house was too big for just me. He was full grown then, with the mind of a puppy. Hasn’t matured much.”

  Gorilla barked his agreement and tugged Stefan toward the backyard of the house. Stefan allowed the animal to lead him and called over his shoulder, “We’ll be right back. Go inside if you want.”

  Although entering someone else’s house without them seemed awkward, Erin went in. The door led to a kitchen so clean she wondered whether Stefan ever cooked. Stainless steel appliances and gleaming granite countertops gave the small room an illusion of size. An island topped with the same granite as the counters, with two wooden stools in front of it, sat as a barrier between the kitchen and living room.

  Uncertainly, Erin walked into the next room, which was just as neat as the kitchen. A glass-topped coffee table held a tidy pile of magazines on one corner and a stack of coasters on the other. The couch and two chairs matched perfectly, patterned with tiny dark blue stripes on a light blue background. On one wall hung a large flat-screen TV.