by K. G. Reuss
“How do you know for sure?”
“I-I just do,” I mumbled.
“And Shepherd?”
“What about him?” Brax’s beautiful face flashed in my mind. “I’m not the kind of girl he’s looking for. He’s adventurous and dangerous. I-I’m not anything like that.”
“You could be. I could teach you.”
“And how would you do that?” I snorted at how ridiculous he sounded.
“Kiss me.” Corbin’s lips tilted up. “Let go for a moment.”
“I don’t think so,” I shook my head quickly. “I’m with Lance—”
“Your mind is with Lance. Your heart is with Shepherd, whether you want to admit it or not. Your body could be with me. I could give you everything that neither of them can give you. And I could give it to you right here and now on the hood of my car, Maggie. Let go. Let me in.” His voice was low. Husky. Sweet. Sinful. My head was spinning, my brain foggy. I wasn’t sure what was coming over me.
“Let go, Maggie,” Corbin urged gently, leaning down to me. “Kiss me. Our secret.”
I tilted my head up, unsure about what I was doing or why I was doing it. I didn’t like Corbin. Not like that. I wasn’t even sure I liked him as a friend. Corbin moved closer, his body hot against my shivering one.
He dipped his head down, his lips a fraction from my own. I didn’t want this! I fought whatever was coming over me and placed my hands on his hard chest.
“No,” I breathed out. “I’m sorry, Corbin. I’m not that girl. I meant what I said.”
He chuckled softly and backed away.
“Not even in secret?”
“Not even then,” I replied. “Will you please take me home?”
“Yes.” He reached beyond me and opened the car door. I slid in gratefully, letting out the apprehensive breath I’d been holding. I watched as he rounded the front of the car and climbed inside.
“You know what I think?” he asked, turning to me as he started the car.
“What?”
“I think you and I are really going to enjoy our adventures together. You’re a bit of a challenge, Maggie. I like that. What do you say? Secret friends?”
Despite everything that had transpired, a familiar feeling washed over me. Corbin needed help too. And he wasn’t so bad if I could get beyond how aggressive he was.
“No more coming onto me?” I narrowed my eyes at him.
“Only in my bedroom if you ask nicely.” He grinned at me.
“Ew.” I frowned at him. “That’s not what I meant—”
“I know.” He laughed softly. “And no. No more coming onto you. Cross my heart.”
“Then deal. Secret friends.”
“Secret friends.” He smirked, settling back into his seat and hitting the gas pedal. We rocketed off into the night, me feeling relieved.
Maybe he wouldn’t be so bad if he had a friend. A girl could try.
Chapter 36
“Want a beer?” Corbin offered, sitting on my bed after midnight the next night. Earlier Alan had insisted I go through his closet and steam all his suits and shirts. After that, he had me scrubbing floors again. But he wasn’t touching me. I was exhausted beyond all belief, so I was relieved when he proclaimed I could go to bed. I trudged upstairs with my back aching, barely able to keep my eyes open. Corbin had tapped on my window only moments after I’d sat down.
“A-a beer?” I wrinkled my nose. “No thanks.”
“Come on. You look like you could use one. And I brought a few.” He held the unopened can out to me. Sighing, I took it and popped the top. My face contorted into an ugly expression as I drank down a gulp. “I even brought my calculus book, so you can help me with chapter twelve.”
“So gross. On both accounts.” I grimaced. As I hated both beer and calculus, he’d brought over two things that could turn my stomach.
“I know. I’m more of a wine guy myself, and I prefer history over calculus. Drinking cheap piss water has never been my thing, and I’ve always tried to avoid anything academic.”
“How refined of you.” I giggled tiredly. He let out a breathy snort, shaking his head at me as he slurped down an entire can.
“Shouldn’t you be careful? You have to drive home,” I said, worriedly. The last thing I wanted was to be the center of an alcohol related accident.
“You worry too much. I can handle myself, princess. Cross my heart.”
“You’re always so willing to lay it on the line,” I commented at his cross my heart promise again.
“Well, being as I can’t really die, I don’t see the harm in making the promise.” He smirked at me.
“And why can’t you die? Wait no, let me guess. You died centuries ago and returned as an evil vampire without a heart or soul. Now you’re here, trying to lure me into your world under false pretenses, hoping that gaining my friendship will be just the push we both need.” I grinned tiredly at him. “How’s my theory sound?”
“Pretty spot on.” He nodded, his green eyes flashing with humor. “But I’m not a vampire. I’m a demon. And you’re the perfect little angel I need to complete my kingdom of torment.”
“Whatever.” I shook my head, laughing.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He shrugged indifferently.
Something about the way he said it made me shiver. Pushing it aside and blaming it on my exhaustion, I pressed on, “Why are you here? It’s after midnight.”
“In case you didn’t know, secret friendships are hard to do out in the open when one of the people in said friendship has a boyfriend who commands her to stay away from other person in said relationship. Not to mention the other good friend the girl has hates me. So yeah, midnight chitchats in your bedroom will have to do, wouldn’t you say?” He raised an eyebrow at me. “Of course, you could just say to hell with all that and be my friend. Flaunt it around.”
“I’m not afraid,” I said softly, my eyes locked on his. “If that’s what you think. I’m not.”
“I don’t think that at all.” He flopped back on my bed and stared up to the ceiling. Biting my lower lip, I lay down beside him, making sure to keep distance between us, and joined him in watching my ceiling fan spin.
“I think you’re quite strong and determined, at least about most things. I find it fascinating. A girl like you living a life like this. It must be quite difficult. And yet, you keep smiling. You keep living, even if it’s not the way you want. You make the best of it. I admire that.”
“What other choice do I have?” I asked. “Aside from giving up, what else could I do?”
“I’m not sure.” He laughed softly. “Maybe you could just give into what your heart wants once in a while. Maybe break a few rules.”
“My heart only wants everyone to be happy.”
“Your heart matters too.” He looked over at me. “So, why are you with Beckett? Lance is the all-American guy. All the girls want him. But what about you? Are you one of them?”
“I… care for Lance. He’s safe.”
“No, princess.” Corbin rolled onto his side and looked at me. “He’s your safety net. He’s what you use when you’re too afraid to be brave. If you fall, he’ll be there to catch you. But why not use yourself as the safety net. You’re strong. You’ll bounce back. You need someone to love you. You don’t need someone to catch you when you fall. You need someone to fall with you. Someone that has fallen and doesn’t care about all the extra shit that comes with it. That’s what you need.”
“You’re a very strange person, Corbin Black,” I said, turning to him.
“Thanks.” He chuckled softly. “You do understand what I’m saying to you, don’t you?”
“Maybe.” I swallowed.
“Break it off with Lance. You care for him. I get it. But he’s not the one you’re meant to be with. We both know it.”
“Maybe I’m not meant to be with anyone—”
“Shut the hell up,” Corbin snorted. “You want Shepherd. I fucking hate the guy, but I feel pretty confident
he’s what you need. He’ll be what you need to fall.” His voice had lowered.
“He’d never want me,” I whispered.
“Oh, he would, sweet girl. Trust me on that.”
“I’m not interested.” I gathered myself and drew in a deep breath. “I’m with Lance.”
“You’re killing me!” Corbin groaned. “Fine. You’re with Lance.”
“Yes, so please drop it.” I nodded.
“That’s all I needed to hear.” Corbin cast me a quick smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. We were both quiet for a moment.
“Why do you and Brax hate one another so much?” I asked softly after a few minutes of silence. Corbin didn’t say anything for so long that I looked over at him to see if he’d fallen asleep. He was staring straight up at the ceiling fan, a muscle thrumming in his jaw.
“He took something from me that I can never get back. I cannot forgive him.”
“Like a girlfriend?” I ventured timidly.
“Yeah, like a girlfriend.” Corbin laughed softly.
“Can’t you just talk to her? I mean, obviously he’s not with her now—”
“It’s not as simple as calling her on the phone. I’ll never see her again. She’s dead.”
“Oh!” I covered my mouth in surprise. “I-I didn’t know. I’m so sorry—”
“It’s not your sorrow I want,” Corbin replied. “I only want you to be happy. Friends want that for their friends, right?”
“But you hate Brax. Why are you trying to push him on me?”
“Because I don’t hate you,” he answered simply. “And as much as I hate him, I know he’s important to. . . things. I’ve never had much use for him. But now, I think I found his purpose.”
“What’s that? Trying to get me to ask him out? Because you genuinely care about my happiness?”
“I care about my happiness.” Corbin grinned at me. “And you with him would make me happy in ways you couldn’t even imagine.”
“You’re really so very strange.” I sighed shaking my head. “And you talk in circles.”
“I’ve been accused of worse,” he answered. We both grew quiet for another moment. “You sound tired.”
“I am. I don’t sleep well, if at all, anymore,” I murmured.
“Do you need some help with that?”
“How would you help me with that?” I asked. I watched as he dug around in his jacket pocket before he pulled out a small pill.
“I carry sweet dreams with me.” He smiled deviously at me. “Want some?”
“Are you offering me drugs?” I hissed, sitting up on my elbow and staring down at him.
“Well, if it helps, they’re prescription. They’re mine.” He cleared his throat and looked over at me. “They help me sleep.”
“And you just happen to keep them in your pocket?” I raised an eyebrow at him in disbelief.
“I just so happen to carry them in my pocket.” He nodded. “I’m being honest. They’ll keep you asleep all night. Always. No matter what or who is in your room. Cross my heart.”
“If you’re lying…” I reached out hesitantly, wondering if they’d keep all my nightmares away. God, I could use some relief. And if they kept me asleep during Alan’s torment. . .
“If I’m lying, you’d know it.” He smirked at me, repeating something he’d already said to me. “I’ll even stay with you and Gandalf you through it in case you trip out or something.”
“Is that possible?” I snatched my hand back and stared wide-eyed at him. “Can that happen?”
“Maggie.” Corbin laughed softly. “No. They’re seriously just sleeping pills. You take one. You sleep. No bad dreams. You won’t die from them, at least not one of them. You’d have to take a hell of a lot more. Which,” his voice grew lower and he reached his hand out and gently skimmed along my face, “I have should you ever become interested.”
“You think I want to kill myself?” I asked quietly.
“I think you’ve thought about it,” he agreed. “And just so you know, I hate my existence too. Maybe in the afterlife, you and I could be great.”
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
“A death pact,” he replied, no emotion on his face. “I’ll be right with you the whole time. And after.” He held his hand out, the small pill on display.
I bit my bottom lip thoughtfully. How easy it would be to simply fall asleep and never wake. It’s how I’d want to go. Heaven, it’s how everyone wanted to go! And here he was, an angel of death, offering me the escape.
“I’ll go with just the one, thanks,” I said, taking the pill from him. He didn’t say anything. Instead, he rose to his feet and disappeared in my bathroom. A moment later, he returned with a glass of water in hand.
“Drink,” he commanded softly. I pressed the glass to my lips and stared up at him as I swallowed down the pill.
“Good girl,” he murmured, watching me as I lay back in bed.
“Who are you, Corbin Black?” I asked, my voice small as I gazed up at him.
“I don’t think I’m the question, princess. I think I’m the answer to your prayers. Sweet dreams, Maggie.”
My eyes became heavy, and struggle as I might, I could not keep them open. I drifted off to a deep sleep, Corbin’s words on repeat in my head.
The answer. He’s the answer.
Chapter 37
Despite Corbin’s tiny miracle in pill form, I was still tired. I needed more sleep, not deeper sleep, although the deeper sleep did help keep my nightmares at bay. I was dead on my feet, shuffling to the parking lot after cheerleading practice when a deep, familiar voice pulled me from my thoughts.
“You look tired,” Brax said, falling in step with me. I glanced at him. He looked as awful as I felt, with black circles beneath his bloodshot eyes and his hair a windswept mess on his head. He looked too tired to even be standing. It wasn’t only that—he looked thinner, like he was wasting away.
“Oh, I am. I didn’t sleep much last night,” I answered. I needed an additional ten hours a night without Alan in the house to worry about.
“Why?”
“I just… my stepdad… I don’t know,” I answered with a shrug. “It was just a long night. He found out I’m doing cheerleading,” I added it as an afterthought.
“Didn’t go well?” Brax asked, frowning. His blue eyes swept over me quickly, like he was searching me for something.
“No,” I replied softly, not wanting him to look into my eyes and see the hurt in them.
“What happened?” he asked, being as unrelenting as usual.
“He-he didn’t ground me if that’s what you’re wondering.” I flashed him a smile. I knew just by the look on my face my smile hadn’t convinced him of anything other than I was a liar.
“Did he… did he hurt you, angel?” Brax’s voice was low, urgent. Insistent.
“It could’ve been worse,” I replied, not wanting him to focus on that. “Honestly, I’m fine, Brax. Thank you for asking. I do appreciate it. I just really don’t want to talk about it.”
“Did you tell Lance about it?” Brax pressed.
“I don’t really talk to anyone about it. You’re the only one…” I forced another smile onto my face. I talked to Corbin. But he was my secret. Acknowledging my lie made me sick to my stomach. I hated lying, especially to people who mattered to me.
“What’s going to happen? Do you have to quit cheerleading?”
“No. I just have more, um, chores at home.”
“You’re lying,” Brax proclaimed. “What’s he making you do, Maggie?”
“Nothing, Brax. Drop it, OK?”
Silence descended as we walked. I could only imagine how upset he’d be if he found out I was having late night rendezvous in my bedroom with Corbin Black. Knowing that piece of information would have Brax and Lance staging guards at my door and windows. That’s how much they both seemed to dislike Corbin. But I wish they’d give him a chance. Whatever he’d done in the past was over.
He was a nice guy. Just misunderstood. At least, that’s what I theorized.
“Do you want to go to Bonnie’s tomorrow night and knit? Or crochet? She’s teaching us both.” I cleared my throat, wanting to break the weirdness that had fallen over us.
“Sure,” Brax answered, his mind clearly elsewhere.
“OK. I’ll let her know,” I said as we reached his car. “I’ll text you. We haven’t been able to talk about the carnival. I-I don’t even know where we are on it.”
“I have almost everything set up,” Brax murmured, studying me.
“You do?” I asked, surprised.
“I do.” He smiled back at me. “We need to find some bands to play and a few other things, but I have most of it done.”
“I can’t believe it.” I was ecstatic! I knew I’d been slacking on it. But he’d been there to pick up the pieces. “We need to talk about it! I haven’t helped at all, it seems—”
“Maggie, it’s fine. You can help me get the bands together.”
“OK,” I agreed excitedly. “We have some Christian groups at church that I’m sure would love to perform!”
“Um, yeah, sure.” Brax looked ill at the possibilities. “I was thinking we’d probably draw in more people if we did something from the local scene, you know? Not that there’s anything wrong with your idea,” his voice became rushed as I realized how dumb my idea sounded. “It’s just, we should break it up. We can have the good ole Christian music during the day, when the elderly are out. At night, there won’t be anyone out but young adults and teenagers. I think we’d make more by having other music at night.”
“You’re right.” I laughed, hoping to appear as if I didn’t feel like a total loser for my suggestion. “I didn’t think about it like that.”
“That’s what I’m here for—to guide you in your poor decisions.” Brax chuckled along with me.
“Brax, are you OK?” I asked after a quiet moment, reaching forward, my fingers lightly brushing against his soft lips, then his cheek. I was checking his temperature. But I also just wanted to feel his skin on mine. I felt sick for wanting it. But there it was, out in the open, Corbin’s words rushing through my head. Brax let out a soft sigh, closing his eyes. “You look like you’re getting sick.”