Evan's Addiction

by Sara Hess

  “Well, I’m not going to get anything further from them today because you heard what he said about paying the bill. He’s pressing her to leave and she agreed. Hopefully next time I can get her to meet me alone, without him.”

  Son of a fucking bitch but this was going to devastate Shaw.

  I’d listened long enough. Fury burned through me ready to incinerate the two people on the other side of the wall. Stepping around the corner I took in the two people sitting in the booth; a middle aged brunette female, and the bitch claiming to be Shaw’s mother. I wanted to fucking kill them both, but I wanted one of them to be long and painful.

  At the sight of me alarm washed over their faces.

  “Shit!” The brunette spat in frustration.

  I tore my murderous gaze from the redheaded bitch and locked gazes with the brunette. “You don’t even know the meaning of the word.” Bending forward I slammed my hands down on the table causing them both to jump in fear. I bent by elbows flexing my arms, adopting a menacing air. “If you print, upload, or talk to anyone about what you recorded or heard today I will rain so much shit down on you that everyone you know, and don’t know, will give you a wide fucking birth so as not to have any of your stench rub off on them. And then I will take both of you for everything you have or will make.” I pointed my finger at the brunette. “You must be one fucking stupid glob of funk on the bottom of my shoe. What you just did was completely illegal, and don’t think you can use the justification that we are in a public restaurant to get around what you did. McKay’s lawyers will have you in court for years sucking you dry, and then you’ll have the added bonus of paying their fees.”

  I swung my head from the about-to-shit-her-pants brunette, to the what-have-I-gotten-myself-into bitch redhead. “And you…you fucking disgust me. The pits of hell must have coughed you up because even they couldn’t deal with your type of evil. I don’t know whether your Shaw’s mother or not…

  “I am,” she unwisely interrupted, her voice squeaky with trepidation. “And though this may look bad I’m sure Shaw, my daughter, will understand once I explain…”

  I got in her face, my blood boiling. “Shut up.” She jerked back in fear. “The only thing you’re going to be telling her is that you are not her mother. I don’t give a shit if you are; she doesn’t need someone like you in her life. That woman has pulled herself up from nothing to become one of the strongest and most amazing women in the whole fucking world. All you will do is fuck her all up. I can tell you are the type of person to suck people dry. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s why your parent’s have distanced themselves from you. They’ve probably had enough of your crap-laced lies.”

  I took note of the flash of emotion that crossed her face at my remark. Yeah, there was more there than what she’d been telling everyone. This woman was a snake pit of lies. I would find out everything she was hiding, but it was going to have to be later. Shaw was waiting.

  “You are going back to that table and say goodbye with that fake smile you’ve been using all afternoon, and then you will call her tomorrow and tell her you are sorry but you’ve been lying this whole time; you are not her real mother, and you only came forward for the attention, but knew the test would prove you a liar.”

  A mulish expression briefly took over her fearful one. “Whatever…It’s not like I came forward to claim her as a real daughter. I didn’t want her twenty years ago and I don’t want her now. I thought she might be my ticket to some quick and easy cash. I’ve received a few thousand, but I guess I’ve reached the end of this cash cow.”

  I stared at her in disgust, and even the brunette looked faintly revolted by her. There was no way Shaw shared this woman’s DNA. The two might share a few similarities but maybe she got most of her genetic material from her father.

  “Were you telling the truth about Shaw’s father?”

  “I have no idea if he’s dead or not. He was a guy who was in town for a short while. He got what he wanted from me and I never saw him again. I don’t even remember his name.” She said, looking off to the right of me.

  My eyes narrowed at her confession. “You better not be lying to me, because I can find out if you are. I’ll have someone dig so far up your ass. Question everyone that knew you back then. And I will find out every single person you spent any time with in that month you got pregnant. Don’t think I can’t.”

  “I’m telling the truth.” She spat.

  I straightened. “First fucking time. Let’s get this over with.” I pointed to the brunette. “Expect a call in ten minutes.”

  She shook her head. “I won’t…”

  I cut her off. “I don’t want to hear it. You can talk to my lawyers. Let’s go.” I waved impatiently for the bitch to get moving. “Smile happily.” I growled, trying my best to plaster on my own fake smile.

  My smile slipped off as we neared the table though, because Shaw wasn’t there.

  I had a sick feeling in my stomach that my plan to conceal this shit-fest just went down the toilet.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

  SHAW

  My phone rang and I pulled it from my purse. I knew it was Evan. I’d been expecting his call, and while I couldn’t answer it, I wasn’t going to leave him hanging and worrying about me. He’d probably end up calling the police.

  Declining the call I texted: I heard everything and now I need a little time to myself.

  I ran through the parking lot adjacent to the restaurant we’d eaten at and dashed around the side of the building of the pet shop next door to it. Breathing harshly, I leaned against the cinder-block wall and slid down onto my ass. My hands fell between my bent knees and I stared at my phone in numb shock and bewilderment.

  Did I seriously hear what I thought I heard? I don’t know how much of that conversation I missed, but I did hear Rebecca say she had no desire at all to form a relationship with me. I’d been concerned this woman was a fraud coming forward for attention. Instead, she was my actual mother coming forward for easy money.

  She didn’t care a flying fuck for me.

  It had niggled at me how she was almost entirely focused on asking questions about my kidnapping…and bypassed all interest about my life. I’d been trying to push it aside, blaming it on my ingrained pessimism, but I’d been right to be skeptical. All she cared about was learning the details of my abduction so she could sell them. Now I wanted to smack myself for overlooking it.

  It was because of those fucking sentiments; hope, dreams, and wishes.

  That lost, needy child inside me had remembered her deepest hope of having a mother ride in on a white unicorn carrying a bag of wishes making all her dreams come true. She would then make up for all the love and hugs the child had missed out on and fix everything wrong in her life.

  It was all one huge pile of fetid bullshit. Just like my life.

  I was stupid to think everything was starting to turn around for me. I’d been jinxed since birth and it wasn’t going to change. That bitch-witch of a female probably was the one who jinxed me.

  My deadened gaze hadn’t moved from my phone, a phone that had been pinging constantly with texts from Evan. I turned it off without bothering to look at them.

  I loved him so much I ached with it, but right I wasn’t sure how I was feeling concerning his part of the conversation. He’d been sticking up for me, looking after my interests, tried to protect my feelings, but he’d also been making plans to lie to me. And he was witness to a humiliating scam my own mother attempted to pull over on me proving how stupid I’d been, how unlovable I was.

  I needed space from him because I was confused, livid…and hurting so very badly. Was love really in my destiny?

  A gust of wind blew over me and it felt extra cold on my face. Bringing my hands up I rubbed my cheeks to warm them and realized they were wet.

  Shit, I was crying. Out in the open. Where anyone could see.

  I wiped at my face angrily but the tears weren’t stopping. Shit, shit, shit! I hadn�
�t cried like this since the wedding fiasco. The time before that had been years ago.

  Turning my phone back on I called for a cab. While I waited for it I tried my damndest to stop the incessant tears but I couldn’t put a lid on them. The cabbie gave me wary look when I climbed in but thankfully kept his opinion to himself. I gave him the address to the campus apartment; Carrie had class and then had to work tonight so I knew I’d be alone there.

  Twenty minutes later the cab pulled up in front of my apartment. I threw some money at the driver, along with I don’t know how much for a tip, and stumbled from the vehicle. Angrily slapping away the tears on my face I ran up the steps, but stopped dead at the sight of Evan sitting in front of my door.

  How did he know I’d end up here?

  Seeing me he jumped up and rushed forward, his expression strained. “God, Shaw, you can’t disappear and not answer my calls or texts like that. It was like your kidnapping all over again.”

  He made to take me in his arms but I backed away with my arms up to stop him. “Evan, I texted you to let you know I was okay and that I just needed some time. Just…give me some time alone.” I declared tearfully.

  His expression turned agonized. “God, Shaw. That woman was a complete bitch and she doesn’t deserve you. Don’t…”

  “It’s not just her, Evan. You found out what she was doing and you made plans with her to hide it from me. It’s like you were working together to deceive me.” I yelled as I tried to push around him.

  His face became more tortured and he gripped my arms in supplication. “No, no, I only wanted to stop you from getting hurt. If you believed that bitch was just some random woman then I thought maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much.”

  “Well, all I know right now is that it hurts real fucking bad, Evan.” I howled and slapped him away like a damn baby.

  Disregarding my attempts to keep him from me Evan pressed in and pulled my rigid body into a tight embrace. “I’m sorry, but please, don’t push me away. Don’t make me leave you after what you just found out…while you’re upset like this.”

  The feel of his warm, strong arms surrounding me felt so good, and I wanted to tell him to squeeze me tighter, but at the same time I wanted to shove him away. It made me even more confused.

  I settled for staying rigid in his arms. “Evan, really…I just need some time alone to process everything.” I whined, and shit did that make me want to yank out my voice box.

  His nose and mouth nuzzled in the crook of my neck as he squeezed me tighter…just like I wished he would just a second ago. “I can’t, Shaw. I can’t leave you alone to deal with this. You can go into that apartment and leave me out here, but all I’m going to do is sit outside your door, because you know what, you’re not alone anymore. I’m here for you. Maybe I messed up trying to keep their deception from you, but I never claimed to be perfect. I only claimed to love you with everything I am, and I guess that comes with stupid decisions in my efforts in protecting you.”

  God, he was making this extremely difficult.

  Closing my eyes with a worn out sigh I dropped my head onto his chest, using his shirt to mop up my tears. “You can come in the apartment, Evan, but I’m going alone into my bedroom, and that’s final.”

  His frame relaxed slightly around mine. “If that’s what I have to settle for right now.”

  Reluctantly, but purposely, I pushed him away. With a sad sigh he released me and I unlocked the door, allowing us both to walk in. Unloading my purse, coat and boots I didn’t waste anytime heading for my bedroom to hide. I could feel Evan’s heavy gaze following me the whole way.

  When I turned to shut the door I realized it wasn’t only his gaze that had been following me. The man didn’t comprehend the word ‘no’.

  I exhaled a load of emotions and rubbed my face…my still wet face. “Evan, I told you I need time alone.”

  “I will give you time alone with your thoughts, but I want to hold you. I could feel you wanting to melt into my arms in the hallway, and that tells me you need comforting right now. You need me, and I need to be there for you. I won’t say a word, okay.” His concerned eyes beseeched me to agree with him.

  My eyes closed remembering the wonderful feel of his arms surrounding me, but my mind warred against the idea of it because I was used to dealing with my problems alone. Taking the easy way I didn’t say anything and walked to my bed to lay down on it. I curled up into an almost ball and wished Rosie was here so she could snuggle up against my stomach. She always searched me out to lay with me when needed a cuddle.

  The bed sagged as Evan climbed in behind me. He draped a blanket over me and then pulled my back snuggly against his front. I remained stiff for as long as I could but only lasted about twenty seconds before his heat and strength and comfort had me going limp. I didn’t want to admit it at this moment but he was way better than Rosie.

  For the past weeks I’d been gradually getting accustomed to him taking care of me in a way no one else ever had; looking after me while I healed, calling to make sure I was doing okay, and comforting me during my night terrors…night terrors that were happening less and less with him lying next to me in bed, watching over me. I’d been soaking up that attention like a crack whore going through withdrawal. And thinking about that now made me feel even more pathetic.

  “Everything’s going to be okay.” Evan whispered as he stroked my hair with one hand and my stomach with the other. “I love you, Shaw.”

  My tears had begun to slow to a trickle but his words made them spill like a rain shower all over again. And then my chest hitched and a sob rose up, rupturing from my throat. In the next second I was bawling uncontrollably. Evan turned me and pressed my face into his chest, rubbing my back and shushing me, while repeating that everything would be all right and that he loved me.

  All I was able to do was hold onto him tightly.

  ∞ ∞ ∞

  I woke slowly feeling all kinds of uncomfortable. My eyes were gritty, sore and heavy, and my face felt tight. I rubbed at my skin and eyes but it didn’t take any of the discomfort away.

  “Here, use this.”

  I pried my heavy lids open and blinked in blurry confusion at the sight of the woman sitting in my computer chair next to my bed, staring down at me with same eyes as the man I loved.

  “What are you doing here?” I croaked. I lifted up on my elbow and clutched at my throat. “Uhhgg, did I walk in my sleep and gargle with razor blades.”

  Jasmine’s lips tilted into a small smile. “Let’s do one problem at a time. Lay back down so I can put this on your eyes.” She held out what looked like a wet washcloth.

  I hesitated and she took my decision from me by pushing the washcloth in my face. I hummed in approval as the cold cloth settled over my gritty, sore eyes soothing them almost instantly. I pressed down tighter on it.

  “Don’t move. I’ll be right back.” She ordered.

  I wasn’t in any hurry to go anywhere…unless it was my bathroom to hide out in. She’d probably be like Evan and just follow me in there though. I heard her get up and leave the room. Mumbled voices reached me from the other room and I took a guess that it was Evan and his mother talking.

  Why was Evan’s mom here? Did she call looking for Evan and he told her to come here? Why was she helping me? She hated me.

  The bing of the microwave went off and ten seconds later I heard her return and shut the door. I lifted the cloth to peek at her. She was wearing form-fitting designer jeans, a long light blue silky shirt, her hair was up in a clip so it fell in a spread out ponytail, and her makeup was flawless. She looked like the model she was; not the mother of a twenty-three year old.

  She sat back down in the computer chair. “I made you some tea with honey for your throat. I didn’t make it hot because extreme heat will irritate the tissue. Why don’t you take a sip and then you can lie back down with the cold compress.” She held out the cup toward me.

  Still wearing a bemused frown I rose up and took the cup.
I sipped a small bit to test it and then downed the whole thing because I was thirsty and it felt like heaven on my throat.

  “Thank you.” My throat still sounded froggy, but it at least felt a little better. I flopped back on the bed and set the cold compress back on my eyes.

  Maybe she’d go away if I pretended to go back to sleep. I doubt if she wanted to be here anyway. I still didn’t understand why she was here.

  “To answer your question from before; Evan called me and told me what happened.”

  I pressed the compress tighter to my eyes. “Great.” I bit out. “But that doesn’t explain why you’re here. I know you dislike me and this just adds to the reasons. I’m one big pimple that keeps getting infected; over and over and over, again. Popping and splattering everyone around me. I’m sure you want to grab Evan and run before the next one explodes.”

  I was being disgusting and confrontational but I couldn’t restrain my tongue. I had a shit bar and once it was reached I normally didn’t care how I came across to anyone. The pope could be sitting next to me and I would have said the same thing.

  There was quiet for moment and then Jasmine chuckled. “That was quite descriptive. Evan said there was no one else like you in the world and I can see why he thinks that.” My heart skipped at Evan’s depiction of me. “But he also said you had a will of titanium, and I’m not seeing that right now.”

  I sighed. “Too much heat can bend the strongest elements.”

  “The Lord only gives us enough heat to bend us, not break us. And where did you get this notion that I dislike you?” She asked.

  I lifted the cloth to peek at her, and saw her watching me with a small frown, but intense interest.

  “Evan got arrested because of me. He could have gotten killed when he rescued me. He has reporters digging into his life. I’ve caused him to miss work. He’s spent I don’t know how much money on me using the McKay lawyers to help me. He’s had nothing but problems since meeting me.” My voice cracked and I recovered my eyes because they were starting to tear up again. It didn’t feel good on my already sore eyes.