A Menu For Loving

by Olivia Gaines

  Tony felt like a kid at Christmas. He didn’t know what to do first. The bed. Start with the bed. He changed the sheets and loaded the dirty ones in the wash before coming back to turn down the bed. Since he didn’t have any roses, and Jen was a chef, he ran to the backyard and grabbed some lemongrass, rosemary and lavender and threw on the sheets.

  Not wanting to feel like a pig of seismic proportions, he pulled out a bottle of sparkling cider, put it on ice, dipped some strawberries in a quick melting chocolate, sliced up some pineapple, pulled out a wedge of Gouda, opened some Brie, and added some crumbled bleu cheese to a tray. Thank goodness his daughter didn’t like junk. This was the good stuff and it was a nice looking presentation. “Crackers ... I need crackers.” He wished he had some caviar, but this would have to do in a pinch. The more the clock ticked, the more crazed he became, his need for her nearly poking a hole in his pants. In his current state, all she would need to do was to rub up against him twice and he would be 15 all over again. By the time he heard the car door slam, he had to untuck his shirt.

  Calm, Tony. Calm.

  How can I be calm? I’ve never had a woman over. Not even on the weekends Sasha slept over at my mom’s.

  He opened the door before she rang the bell. “Hello, you,” she told him as she walked by, smelling like a moving dinner entree to a pack of hungry wolves. Her fingers grazed across his abdomen. She would do her best to play hard to get, but really, she wanted to drop every stitch of clothing and prostrate herself in the middle of his bed.

  His hand slipped into hers as he closed and locked the door and led her into the living room. “Before anything happens, Jennifer, I need you to know my intentions are pure and gentlemanly.”

  It was obvious he was nervous as he kept shifting his weight from foot to foot. She felt inclined to ask as she kicked off her shoes, “Why the codicil?”

  The cheese and cracker display caught her eye. “Very nice, Tony.”

  “I’m glad you like it. It may be 30 to 45 minutes before you even get to taste a morsel,” he told her with a wicked smile. Her eyebrows went up.

  “Again, my intentions are not going to match my actions,” he said as he pulled her into his arms. “It’s been a month. A month of longing, needing, craving your touch, Jen.”

  Tony’s lips touched hers and sparks begin to fly. Jennifer tried to hold him off with her hand. “Tony, aren’t we going to at least talk a bit before ...”

  “Oh, I plan to give you a thorough tongue lashing,” he said into her mouth, as his tongue darted in between her lips. His hands went to work and her dress went up, her undies went down and so did he. She was on her back on the couch, her legs peddling an imaginary bike trying desperately to put on the brakes, but he was in go mode. In between his mouth, bringing her pleasure, he managed to get his shirt off and his pants down. Jennifer was reaching for pillows or anything she could hold on to but the pleasure he was bringing her was so intense, so enjoyable, she wasn’t sure what to do. He knew exactly what came next. Tony moved so fast, he was on the floor and she was straddling his lap and he had started to connect their bodies.

  “Wait ... wait ... hold on ... we need protection,” she cried as she tried to pull away.

  “I put it on when I heard you pull up. Now, stop talking,” he pulled her forward and incrementally connected them. His breathing was labored as he gripped her hips and lifted and lowered her until she felt she was going to burst.

  “You feel so amazing ... I can’t wait ... for you ...” he told her as his hands moved faster along with his hips. He called her name as he squeezed her body close to his, holding her tight. Jennifer held onto to him, only experiencing the initial start of her ascent.

  Tony stroked her hair as she looked at his face. The look of satisfaction covering his expression was like he had just confessed all of his sins. His fingers touched her lips. “You are so beautiful, Jennifer.” He kissed her lightly, then stared into her eyes. “I know it’s not real, yet, but kiss me and tell me you love me.”

  Her fingers ran through his hair, pushing it back from his brow. “That was really good ... and fast ... but I wasn’t finished.”

  “Seven minutes, I can keep you busy for seven minutes. Two are already gone,” he told her as he stared at her lips.

  Jennifer stared into his eyes, kissing each eyelid, then the tip of his nose. “If that’s the case, Tony P, do you know how much I love you?” Her lips met his as she deepened a kiss between them that spoke to Tony’s soul.

  It was all the encouragement he needed as he struggled to his feet, holding her in his arms, kicking off his pants that were trapped around his ankles and making his way to the bedroom. She loved the rosemary on the sheets, and appreciated the lavender petals as he made quick work in the bathroom.

  “Take off that dress, please, so that I don’t tear it up,” he told her as he came back from the bathroom, completely nude and ready to continue. She stood at the bedside, removing her bra, as he stood in the precipice of the bathroom, simply taking her all in. “You are the most magnificent creature I have ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes on. Your inner beauty outshines the outer, and I am losing myself in you.”

  “Well, you silver-tongued devil, let me help you completely fall off the edge of reality,” she told him and lay on the bed, opening herself to him.

  Most women understand that there is a difference between making love and having sex. Where Tony P took Jennifer next was somewhere above the realms of both worlds and held her there on a cloud of euphoria. His movements were strategic as each touch, each stroke, each kiss elevated the connection between them. If he was trying to make a point, he was doing a fantastic job. He asked her to let go and give in to where he was leading her and by following his instructions, he would take her somewhere she had never been. She let go.

  Jennifer stopped thinking.

  The past hurts of poor choices she released.

  The unshed tears for former heartbreaks she folded in half and ripped to pieces as he lifted her body to a higher place.

  Manacles that had chained her heart were opened, melted and the keys tossed into the abyss of nothingness where she had been hiding for almost two years. As he whispered encouraging words in her ear, face down on the bed, with a pillow under her hips and fabric of the sheets clutched in her hands, she splayed open her fingers, stretched out her toes and dove off the platform he provided into the unknown.

  It was powerful.

  It was freeing.

  It was beautiful.

  She called out his name at the top of her voice as hot tears ran down her face, while she rode the crescendo. She balled up her fingers and gripped on tight to the mattress as his movements became more forceful. He was reaching his critical moment, grunting her name and holding a handful of her hair, reaching the twinkling of his ecstasy. Tony’s face was contorted and he climbed up the crest, lost in the world where only the two of them existed and he let go to join her in the magical world he had created. It was so surreal, but in the background, and there it was... a scream.

  He slowed his movements, leaning forward to whisper in her ear, “Jen, are you okay? Am I hurting you?”

  It wasn’t Jennifer who screamed.

  They looked up, and there in the doorway stood Sasha with a look of horror on her face.

  Based on the look of rage on her father’s face, the handful of hair her father had in his hands, and the tears rolling down Chef Jennifer’s face, Sasha thought this couldn’t be normal sex.

  “Daddy, stop it! You’re hurting Chef Jennifer!”

  Say what now...

  Life has a way of coming at you so fast, it builds and uncertainty of whether turning left or right will put you in harm’s way. Sometimes, in order to handle a crisis, you have to point your life in the direction of the oncoming maelstrom and tackle everything head on. There was no way of dancing about and easing into letting Sasha know he was interested in seeing Jennifer. His opportunity to invite her over for a cozy littl
e family dinner and ease her into their lives was shot. Tony P’s worst fear had just played out and he was terrified that he had lost his daughter’s respect. How he handled this scenario was going to be a life changing moment for all three of them.

  Tony was ready for his life to change.

  As he and Jennifer scrambled to cover themselves, his voice was calm as he asked Sasha to wait for them in the living room. Thank goodness he was composed in the middle of all of this because Jennifer was mortified. She could not get dressed fast enough and she wanted to simply slink out of the window and never see him or his child again. She managed to get dressed. Her clothes were crooked, her hair was a mess and her lipstick was all over the bottom portion of her face. I just need my shoes ... and my panties. Where in the hell are my panties?

  Tony noticed she was frantic as he placed his hands on her shoulders, then straightened her dress, and used his thumb to wipe away the smudged lipstick. “Jen, we have nothing to be ashamed of. We’ve done nothing wrong other than forgetting to lock my bedroom door.” He mashed down her hair before slipping his hand into hers and pulling her down the hallway to meet a very upset 13-year-old. A 13-year-old who held Jennifer’s discarded underwear at the end of a writing pen. Jennifer mumbled thanks as she used the guest bathroom to put them on, as well as to comb her hair down.

  Tony took a seat on the overstuffed love seat and suggested Sasha sit as well. “I’m sorry you had to see that. Obviously, I wasn’t expecting you to be home.”

  “Aunt Cleo couldn’t pick me up, so I took the bus home,” she told him. Her face was full of anger and he didn’t understand why.

  “Sasha, why are you so angry?” He really wanted to know. Sasha’s gaze was fixed on Jennifer as she returned from the bathroom and took a seat at the far end of the couch. Away from them both.

  “Are you okay, Chef Jennifer? I mean you were crying, and Daddy was pulling your hair....” Her face was full of confusion.

  Jennifer wanted the floor to open and chew her into tiny pieces before spitting her out and chucking her across an open field full of ravenous mice.

  Tony leaned forward as he asked incredulously, “Jen, you were crying?”

  This can’t be happening to me. I should have listened to my daddy. “I’m okay, both of you. I had a moment....”

  If she hadn’t been looking at him, and witnessed it for herself, she would not have believed it. She actually saw Tony’s chest swell with pride. Sasha saw it, too, and frowned at her father. Then the questions began to fly, each worse than the last.

  “How long has this been going on between you two?” was the first, but neither could answer because they were too stunned by the second question.

  “Was my daddy giving you a baby?” This made Jennifer spring to her feet.

  “Are you two in love?” Tony was stammering but neither was prepared for the next question.

  “I know what this is ... you two planned that whole birthday thing to get me to like Jennifer so you two could trick me. You’re going to ship me off to boarding school so you can start a new family! Without me!” Her eyes were wide and Jennifer grabbed her purse and shoes. Fail. Fail. Going downhill fast.

  “I will just leave and never come around again. I’m sorry, Sasha. So sorry.” She clutched her things and literally ran for the door. But Tony was on his feet and grabbed her arm.

  “Oh no you don’t! I am not going through this by myself. Get back in here,” he told Jennifer as the three of them sat, each staring at each other, Tony, back on the love seat and the two of them on the couch.

  “I have enough love for both of you and I plan to lavish you both with it,” he said flatly. Over the next thirty minutes, Tony P reassured his daughter and Jennifer as well. His voice was steady as he spoke of his loneliness and the joy that he was experiencing simply being able to talk to Jennifer each day. It came as no surprise when he told his daughter that he was happy that she and Jennifer had hit it off, but it was not a ploy of some sort. “We both wanted your party to be a success and it was.”

  Sasha was listening closely to everything he was saying. Jennifer had a flashback to her childhood when she ran off Ms. Jackson, who was in their kitchen, coming on to her father. Now she knew how that lady must have felt. She still said nothing, even after he asked her a question. Twice.

  “Jennifer? Did you hear me?”

  In truth she had not. She was still in his bed, covered in shame. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

  “I wanted to know if you were okay to move forward with me and Sasha and have us be a part of your life?” He said it with a look on his face that was asking for something more. My acceptance of him? Acceptance of what?

  She smiled at him and Sasha. Here it is. The same thing her daddy had said earlier this morning. If you are going to sleep with him, you need to be serious about him. Her focus on Tony now changed because her daddy was right. Could she see this man as her husband and the father of her children?

  She swallowed hard and had to say what was needed. No beating around the bush, she opened her mouth and let the words roll out. “Only if you are open to the possibility of having more children and if Sasha is okay to have more brothers and sisters in the future.” Her eyes were wide as she waited for his rejection and sending her and her panties packing.

  Tony didn’t miss a beat. “I’m okay with it. Sasha, are you?”

  Sasha nearly made Jennifer choke on her own saliva. “I dunno. If that’s how you make a baby, you sure you want to do that again, Chef Jennifer?”

  Jennifer’s hands went to her face, her skin warming by the second. Sasha stood up to go to the kitchen. “If that is what sex is like, then I’m NEVER having any!”

  Tony called after her, “From your mouth to God’s ears, young lady!”

  He looked at Jennifer and it appeared as if all the color had drained from her face. He rose from the loveseat and pulled her into his arms. “The ugly part is over, Jen. Now we just figure out how to move forward.” He kissed the top of her head. “I guess next you need to have us over for dinner to meet your family.”

  Jennifer pulled back so she could get a gaze at his face. A face that was getting blurry. “Say what now?” Her knees began to buckle and she went limp in his arms.

  She had passed out.

  Beefing it up...

  “See, Daddy, you broke her,” Sasha said as she ran to get a cool cloth to place on Jennifer’s forehead. She was dizzy because she hadn’t eaten and her blood sugar had dropped. Her hands were shaking, her stomach roiling and Tony Peay had just agreed to be the father of her children. Unfocused eyes looked at Sasha. If all went well, this would be her daughter. Dear Lord, what am I doing?

  Jennifer still did not know what had happened to the girl’s mother. “I’m sorry. I just haven’t had a chance to eat anything today, and so many emotions in such a short period of time....” It was all too much.

  Tony gave her some orange juice along with the cheese and crackers before she headed home. The drive to her childhood home was filling the space in her head of what to do next. How do I tell my daddy that I am seeing a white man with a child? Her father was the least of her worries. It was Wednesday afternoon and he always has a 10:30 tee time. It was now after 3 pm; he could still be out for at least another hour in the clubhouse, talking trash with his friends.

  Instead, she slipped into the back door to find her sister, Gloria, at the table. “You look like you’ve been rode hard and put away wet. Emphasis on the rode hard,” she told her over the rim of wired spectacles. And they were spectacles.

  Gloria Taylor had a style of her own. A kind of Angela Davis meets Coffy Brown; afro included. Gloria wore natural hair before it became a statement of the new American black woman. She was an entrepreneur and a women’s rights advocate who ran a small independent publishing house and literary publication. On weekends she hosted an open mic poetry slam in the bottom of her office building that also served as her home. When she was not at their dad’s, and as
far as anyone knew, Gloria was single. She had never invited anyone home to meet her family and her relationship with Jennifer had always been cool. Not as in they were cool. More like can we get some heat turned on in here, cool.

  Jennifer hated that and she wanted it to change but didn’t know where to start or how. So she took the high road. “I had a really messed up afternoon, Gloria, and I am at a loss of what to say or where to go from here.”

  Gloria looked over her shoulder to see if someone else had walked into the room and her baby sister was addressing them. Jennifer had never confided in her, let alone asked her advice about anything, so this was truly new territory for them both. “Okay, little sis, what is troubling you?”

  Jennifer began to explain it all. The reunion, the bar, the kid helping in the kitchen, the party, and this afternoon, including Sasha’s reaction. Gloria had started to chuckle midway through the whole recitation, but, by the end, she was folded over in gut-busting laughter.

  “Oh shit, that ain’t nothing. I had my girl’s son walk in on us. You talk about confusing!” Gloria said, still trying to stop the laughter that was welling inside of her. She changed the subject and suddenly turned serious when she saw her younger sister wasn’t amused and really in need of some advice. “Jenny, it sounds like he manned up and handled his daughter and you, as well. He said he was ready to be a father to your children and sounds like you are ready to be a mother to his daughter.”

  “Yeah, but I don’t know what happened to her mother. It’s all so new and moving so fast. It’s only been a month,” Jennifer said as she laid her head on the kitchen table.

  “Well, slow it down and find out,” she said as she patted her sister on the head. “And he said he wants to come here and meet me and Daddy?”

  Jennifer’s head was still down and on the table. She bobbed her head yes as Gloria stated, “Great, I’m free on Sunday. Let’s do it then.”