Fail to Fight (Lessons in Love Book 1)

by Dillon, Maci

  Was this Will’s idea of a cruel joke? A plan to inflate his ego? See if I’d accept the invitation then sit back and laugh?

  The Will I once knew would never do anything so cruel and deceitful, but who the fuck knew who he was these days. Now all alone, a whirlwind of emotion threatened to pull me into a crying mess. Pouring a few fingers of Tequila into a short glass, my mind wanders to Tex. I ponder for a second or two whether I should give him a call, but he’d made it clear he wouldn’t come up to my room tonight. Maybe a good night text wouldn’t hurt though? I reached for my clutch on the counter to find my phone and the business card he handed to me.

  Clutch in hand, I was startled to a stop by a knock at the door. Taking my glass with me, I sauntered toward the knocking which grew louder. Perhaps the gods decided to be kind and throw me a curve ball, prompting Tex with a change of heart? I giggled at the ridiculous thought.

  Boldly I pulled open the door and my heart literally stopped. Followed by rapid pounding at a dangerously excessive speed.

  Will.

  Thoughts sparked like rapid fire in my brain. A mix of emotions spread so quickly, words escaped me. I couldn’t tell the anger from surprise, the hurt from the lust.

  What the hell was he doing here? How did he know where to find me?

  So many questions yet all I could do was stare at him. He looked so fucking good. But that didn’t excuse the fact he stood me up. Anger took hold and ignited in my veins. Was he even going to speak? Apologize maybe? Anything!

  I couldn’t think clearly.

  My gaze traveled over his body, soaking up the reality of him standing at my door. I shouldn’t let him in. He played me. My hand on the door, I considered closing it in his face.

  Then he spoke.

  Hi, little one.

  I pushed aside the way his words vibrated through my core. Was he fucking serious right now? How about sorry for being a cunt, playing with your head and messing with your hear? Or hey, Chloe, I got caught up with work and was too fucking stupid to get out my phone and let you know?

  “Will,” I acknowledge through clenched teeth, the only response I felt he deserved. He didn’t deserve a welcome party, but fuck, I couldn’t take my eyes off him.

  After all this time, how can he still affect me this way?

  The years had been kind to him, really kind. Every part of him was the way I remembered, a few extra laugh lines but his rugged jawline, the way he wore his dark wavy locks pushed back off his forehead, the playfulness in his eyes, he was the same Will Jamieson I saw each night in my dreams.

  My Will.

  I anxiously pull my lower lip between my teeth as I continue to blatantly undress him with my eyes, my irritation at his showing up here unannounced, hours late with a shitty ‘hi’ quickly falling away; lust and temptation taking its place.

  His dark denim jeans hung perfectly off his hips, covering the thighs of an ex-footballer who didn’t appear to have lost his frame. The top few buttons of his shirt remained opened, teasing me with a glimpse of his still toned chest. I wanted to reach out and touch him, to know I wasn’t dreaming.

  But I didn’t. I stood statue still, afraid to breathe in case Will evaporated into thin air. His proximity heated my core and I knew he felt it too. Our attraction was always palpable, and tonight was no different. Like no time had passed at all.

  “What the fuck are you doing here, Will?” I ask, in a much too husky voice. I knew I should be pissed, extremely pissed, but he was here, standing right here before me after all these years.

  I stepped aside, suddenly feeling as if I were on uneven ground as he walked past me into my room, removing the glass of Tequila from my hand on his way to the small kitchen area.

  “How about I get us a drink?” He rounds the floating bench to where the mini bar was stocked full of all sorts of liquor. Pulling out a small bottle of Johnny Walker Red, he empties the contents into a glass.

  I turn and close the door behind me, quietly fighting the urge to slam it shut to show just how pissed off I was. “I had a fucking drink until you invited yourself in.”

  Eyeing me suspiciously over the rim of his glass as he took his first sip, he slowly pushes my confiscated drink along the bench toward me.

  An invitation to come closer and take what I wanted.

  My thoughts instantly go to the bedroom, my eyes quickly dart across the dimly lit room to the open door and I feel his gaze follow.

  We stand in semi-darkness, only a subtle glow coming from the living room lamp. Floor to ceiling windows stood bare across the center of the wall facing the street, the city lights filtered through, highlighting the simple furnishings, setting the mood for a romantic evening between long lost lovers. Or so I hoped. I don’t know what I’d expected before, but now he was here, I had trouble forming a sensible thought. Having him in my room tonight was never part of the plan.

  Momentarily staring at the window, my mind wanders to a distant memory. My body shuddering slightly as I remember that night.

  I was naked except for my heels; Will pushes up behind me, pressing my body against the cold glass window. He nudges my legs apart with his thigh so he can nestle in behind me, keeping my body pinned to the window. Goosebumps scatter over my body from the coolness of the glass on my already sweat glistened skin. Pulling me by the hair Will brings my head back to rest on his shoulder and whispers in my ear, “I want you to watch me in the reflection, witness my face contort in pleasure as I assault your gorgeous body for all the passers-by to see.”

  I remember it like it was yesterday.

  We were on the second floor, facing the street and right in the path of couples staggering home from clubs, pubs and parties on the opposite side of the street. They had a perfect view if they turned their heads to the left. And often they did.

  As unbelievable as the sex always was with Will, an audience intensified it tenfold.

  “I love taking you this way, Chloe,” Will growled as he pushed his way inside my heat, my legs threatening to give way at the sudden intrusion. “Behind you, deep inside of you, in complete control of your pleasure while still privy to your facial expressions staring back at me.”

  He held my hands together over my head with one of his as he picked up his pace and settled into an exhilarating rhythm. When our first visitors rounded the corner and headed in our direction, Will lifted my leg, supporting it in the crook of his arm, leaving my pussy fully exposed to the street. I screamed with pleasure at the way it opened me deeper for him which helped gather the attention of the small group walking by over the road. The top window, just above my head was open and evidently sound traveled well.

  Their mouths dropped opened, one of the girls giggled embarrassingly, but couldn’t look away. I loved the conflict in their eyes. Torn between the hidden desire to watch and walking away to let us enjoy our moment. The desire to watch always won.

  “You love their eyes on you, little one?” Will rasped as his hand moved from pinning mine in place to finding my clit. He reached between my hips and the window until he found what he was looking for, what I desperately needed him to find. “Are you ready to come for me, baby, show them how fucking hot you are when you come undone?”

  “Fuck yes, Will.” Always ready for him. Anything he wanted.

  His fingers teased my swollen nerve endings, my breath hitched, a weak attempt to warn off the impending orgasm fast approaching. I didn’t want it to end.

  I smiled at the two guys standing across the street looking in, attempting to hide their growing erections. “Eyes on me, little one,” Will demanded, bringing me back to him. Our eyes met in the reflection as he rocked mercilessly into me, reaching new depths with every stroke. My whimpers turned to groans, the glass started to fog from the heat of my breath as Will added pressure to my clit, the swift circular motions causing new sounds to emerge from both of us as we neared our climax.

  I shrieked with unrestrained pleasure as my body shook
around Will’s, taking his pleasure with my own. Ripping my head back toward his and tilting my face to the side, he took my lips, wild and passionately. When the kiss broke and our breathing settled, I looked around the foggy part of the window to an empty street. Our audience had left, but I’m sure they enjoyed the show.

  Pulling out and dropping my leg back to the floor with a quick rub to release any cramps, Will used his forefinger to draw a heart in the foggy patch on the window.

  A true romantic at heart.

  “You always did love a good window scene, little one.”

  Will’s comment caught me off guard and I spun back to face him. Was I that much of an open book? I was surprised at the nostalgic look in his eyes and instantly I thought of his wife. Amanda.

  Perhaps I shouldn’t have reached for the phone and done some investigating after he called yesterday, but I couldn’t help myself. I needed to know a little of what to expect tonight. What I wasn’t expecting, was to find out he’d married not too long after I left town. That fucking hurt. Tore open an old heart wound with rusty old razor blades.

  Apparently, they’d separated earlier this year, or I wouldn’t be here. But I couldn’t help but wonder.

  Had they enjoyed the same kinds of provocative scenes? Did he even allow her to see him completely vulnerable, the way he always had been with me?

  Heat invaded my face. I was unsure whether it was the effect of the margaritas kicking in, or the room closing in on me. Suddenly I felt small, vulnerable and about to be swallowed whole by desire. And that fucked me off more than anything.

  “I don’t understand, Will. How did you find me? Where the hell were you at dinner?” My voice rose in decibels and pitch.

  The knowing way he looked at me threatened to bring me to my knees. So familiar. My pulse raced at the way he finally stood within reach, waiting, anticipating my next move. Knowing every one of my secrets and me his.

  Never has anyone known me—mind, body, and soul, so intimately. Nor did I ever want anyone to. I could never give myself to another the way I did with him.

  I had hoped that our meeting tonight would prove our love was in the past, that our attraction was a figment of my imagination, something I wanted so desperately to hold onto all these years. But it’s more real than I ever could have anticipated.

  I snatched the glass and threw back a few mouthfuls of tequila. A hissing sound escaped between my teeth at the burn in my throat before I licked the remnants from my lips.

  We stood, staring at each other. Neither willing to speak or make the first move.

  “You know what, Will?”

  The raw attraction was as present right now in this room as it ever had been. There was little room for words, but I demanded an explanation. The chemistry between us so strong it forced me to take a step back.

  I couldn’t breathe.

  “If you can’t do me the courtesy of explaining why you bothered to call yesterday, then stand me up tonight, you can get the fuck out.” I turned in the direction of the door.

  In a split second, Will was on the opposite side of the bench standing in front of me, his eyes fierce and glued to my lips. “I’m sorry, okay. I…” His familiar scent of Calvin Klein hit me as he moved to cup my face in his hands, “…I fucked up tonight, Chloe. I know I did, but please let me explain.”

  Words are nothing without emotion and sincerity. And I heard evidence of both in the words he spoke; it pummeled my insides and clawed at my heart like a wild animal in a cage.

  I moved from within his grasp.

  “Okay, Will. Let’s hear it.” I nonchalantly threw my arms in the air and turned away from him. “Tell me.”

  I sensed the relief in his sigh as he began to explain what happened and why he showed for our date but never made his presence known to me.

  “I arrived right on time. I heard your chuckle before I even laid eyes on you, Chloe. The sound made my heart skip a beat. I never thought in a million years I would have the honor of hearing that sound again.”

  Behind me I sensed him approaching, his fingertips sliding around my hips slowly as if testing the waters. My chest swelled at his touch and tiny fireworks began their descent from my core.

  I edged away from him, my body relenting but my mind still focused on the humiliation of being stood up. I threw him a bewildered look over my shoulder, warning him to keep his distance. He nodded and continued, his hands now safely tucked away in the pockets of his jeans.

  “You were talking to some guy who didn’t appear to be going anywhere. At first, I thought you must have been with him and I panicked. I realized I never even asked if you were seeing anyone.”

  A recount of events bounced off the walls as I struggled with my feelings.

  “I was a coward, Chloe.”

  “That much is evident,” I retorted.

  Will approached subtly. His hands skimmed over my curvaceous thighs from behind, ever so lightly as he continued to explain. My body shivered slightly in response. “I sat across the way and watched you with him, hoping he would leave, but instead…” His words fell away and he shifted his weight awkwardly behind me. “After ten years waiting for that very moment, the moment I finally laid eyes on you again, I feared what to say, not knowing if I would be able to get the words out right if I tried.”

  My eyes drift shut, trying to take in what he was saying.

  “Anything would have sufficed, Will.” I turned back to him, his hands falling away from my hips. “Showing up would have been a decent start.” Tension plagued my body. I raked my hands through my loose curls and tossed my locks to the side over one shoulder. I toyed with the ends, twirling them vigorously around my finger in frustration. His eyes followed the movement of my hands. I turn my back to him again, unable to deal with the look of affliction evident in his gaze.

  “Instead, I waited,” he finally continued, “And watched like a fucking crazy-ass stalker until you decided to leave. And I followed you back here.”

  He followed me?

  We stood in silence for a few long seconds. “Chloe. Talk to me. Please.”

  His breath whispered across the back of my neck as his broad chest closed in around my back and his denim clad thighs scraped teasingly at the backs of my legs. Arms snaked around my front until his hands clasped together low on my stomach. If the situation were different, I may have had the urge to push them lower and beneath my dress, but I stood there. Unable to move. One half of me wanting to escape his advance, the other seeking comfort in his embrace.

  “What do you want me to say, Will?”

  Violated is what I should have felt. Being watched from the dark shadows as I sat dying inside at the fact he didn’t care enough to show up, I felt…I don’t know exactly, thankful I guess, that he turned up to explain himself.

  “Who was the guy you were with?” he asked tentatively.

  “The guy I met at the bar? We chatted while he waited for a colleague, who in the end couldn’t make it.” If only he had come when he was supposed to I thought to myself, releasing a sigh of my own.

  “He stayed, I guess because it became alarmingly apparent you weren’t going to show either.” Spoken with the force of darts being thrown at a target, I failed to cover the hurt and instantly felt ashamed for letting it show.

  “I over thought it, Chloe. I’m truly sorry and utterly disgusted by my actions. Please believe that.”

  “I do, Will. But it doesn’t change what happened, or didn’t happen.”

  “I know, but I’m here now,” he offered as he lowered his chin to rest on the top of my head. I’m now fully embraced by him, back where I belong.

  Internally I shook my head at the thought. I couldn’t allow myself to think that way. Whatever happened tonight, there was nowhere for it to go. He may be separated but there’s still more than the two of us to consider. Besides, I wasn’t looking for forever, all I needed from this night was closure. It’s the only reason I agreed
to meet.

  Deep inside me is still the young woman I was ten years ago. Hurt, broken, abandoned.

  I fucked up, Will fucked up, and it ended. It was that simple. It wasn’t, but I wanted to believe it to be.

  There was so much that needed to be said. And I wanted to know, after all the promises and the loving memories we’d shared, how we let each other walk away without a fight. I believed we owed it to ourselves to lay everything on the table, to enable us to leave here knowing we’d ended this chapter of our lives for good. On a happy note.

  “Will,” I whisper, twisting in his arms. “This isn’t—” My words are cut off when I meet his eyes. Eyes so familiar, I became lost instantly in what we once were. Who we once were. My thoughts are swallowed up as Will crushes his lips to mine. Fuck me, I’ve missed his mouth. On my lips, my pussy; everywhere. But it’s not what I came here for. I make a feeble attempt to pull away but his hands reach up to hold my head to his. The wet tip of his tongue traces the curve of my mouth until I give in to temptation and open for his assault. Our tongues duel ferociously, fighting for control, fueling our desires.

  Will’s hands descend, stopping momentarily to caress my breasts in his palms before they continue their journey, tracing the curves of my body stopping on my thighs. His grip possessive, pulling me to him. The kiss urgent, all consuming. Our breathing erratic as we give into a decade of desire.

  I clutch his shirt, immediately wanting nothing between us. My fingertips rake over his muscular chest and abdomen causing a moan to fall from his lips as he presses hard against me, tempting my restraint with his fully erect cock pressing into my tummy. My hands move beneath the dark fabric of his shirt and the moment they connect with his skin, I feel his entire body tense, his kiss increases in intensity and I shelter his groan with my mouth. He devours everything I have to give and still he demands more.