On Her Own

by Wanda E. Brunstetter

  Paul thought about looking for Aaron in the barn or harness shop, but he didn’t want to leave Zachary and Joseph alone that long.

  “I’d better get back inside,” he muttered, turning toward Barbara’s house. “No telling what those two little boys are up to.”

  When he entered the kitchen again, Paul discovered the children had helped themselves to more cookies and a glass of milk. Joseph had a white mustache on his upper lip, and Zachary’s face was dotted with chocolate. Cookie crumbs were strewn all over the table, and a puddle of milk lay under Zachary’s chair.

  Paul grabbed a dishrag from the kitchen sink and tossed it to Joseph. “You’d better get this mess cleaned up before your mamm comes downstairs.”

  While Joseph sopped up the milk, Zachary continued to nibble on his cookie.

  Paul pulled a towel off the rack under the sink, dampened it with water, and sponged off the younger boy’s face. He’d just finished when Barbara entered the kitchen.

  “The boppli’s asleep in his crib, and—” She halted and stared at her sons. “Looks like you’ve had yourselves a little party while I was gone.”

  “Kichlin,” Zachary announced, licking his fingers.

  “Jah, I see you’ve been eating some cookies.”

  “I gave them two apiece when Zachary said he was hungry, and I made the mistake of leaving the cookie jar on the table while I went outside to see if Aaron had gone over to your folks’ place,” Paul explained. “Guess they must have helped themselves to a few more after I left the house.”

  Barbara glanced around the room. “Aaron’s not back yet?” A look of alarm showed clearly on her face.

  Paul took the dishrag and towel back to the sink and turned to face her. “I thought about going out to the barn or harness shop to look for Aaron, but I didn’t want to leave the younger ones alone that long.”

  Barbara’s gaze went to the window. “I’m worried.”

  “Tell me where his favorite places are, and I’ll see if I can find him,” Paul said. His chores could wait. Right now, finding the boy was more important.

  “Let’s see. . . . He likes to play in the barn.” Barbara massaged her forehead, making little circles with the tips of her fingers. “He enjoys being in the harness shop, of course.”

  “I’ll look around the yard real good, head out to the shop, and then check the barn.” Paul moved toward the back door. “Try not to worry. I’m sure he’s fine.”

  As Paul made his way across the yard, he thought about his plan to speak with Barbara about their relationship. It didn’t look like he was going to get that chance. Not tonight, anyway.

  Barbara had been pacing the kitchen floor for the last half hour. Where was Aaron, and why wasn’t Paul back with a report? She was tempted to gather up the boys and go looking herself, but the baby was asleep, and the other two needed to be put to bed, as well.

  She glanced out the window one more time. It was getting dark, and since no gas lamps glowed in any of her folks’ windows, she assumed they still weren’t back from town. She had been watching for them, hoping her father could join Paul in the search for Aaron. Or maybe Mom could stay with the children while Barbara helped the men look.

  Barbara closed her eyes and clasped her hands tightly together. Please, Lord, let my boy be okay.

  “Mama, Zachary’s hidin’ pieces of puzzle on me,” Joseph whined.

  “Nee,” Zachary retorted.

  “Jah, you are so.”

  “Nee.”

  “Uh-huh. I seen you slip one onto your chair. And you tried to eat a puzzle piece awhile ago.”

  Zachary shook his head.

  “Jah, you sure did. Ya left a tooth mark in it, too.”

  Zachary opened his mouth and let out an ear-piercing screech.

  “Stop it!” Barbara’s hands shook. She forced herself to breathe deeply and count to ten. No good could come from yelling at the boys just because she was upset over Aaron’s disappearance.

  This is my fault, she thought miserably. I should have sent Aaron to his room as soon as he started mouthing off. I’ll never forgive myself if anything bad has happened to him.

  Paul closed the door of the harness shop. Aaron wasn’t in the shop, and as far as he could tell, the boy wasn’t anywhere in the yard. Paul had checked every conceivable hiding spot outdoors, so he decided that his next stop would be the barn. If Aaron wasn’t there, he didn’t know where else to look.

  Maybe he wandered off the property and headed down the road to his friend Gabe’s. If he’s not in the barn, I’d better hitch my horse to the buggy and go there.

  Paul entered the barn. It was dark and smelled of hay and animals. He cupped his hands around his mouth. “Aaron, are you in here?”

  The only response was the gentle nicker from the buggy horses.

  Paul located a lantern and struck a match. A circle of light encompassed the area where he stood. He held the lantern overhead and moved slowly about the building. “Aaron!” he called several times.

  No answer.

  As he continued to circle the barn, looking in every nook and cranny, Paul noticed the door to the silo was open. On a hunch, he stepped through the opening.

  “Anybody here?” he hollered.

  “Help!”

  Paul cocked his head and listened.

  “Help me, please!”

  “Aaron, is that you?”

  “Jah. I’m up here.”

  Paul held the light overhead and looked up into the empty silo. His heart nearly stopped beating when he saw Aaron standing on the top rung of the ladder.

  “What are you doing up there? Don’t you know how dangerous that is?”

  “I climbed up to be by myself, but I got scared and couldn’t get back down.”

  Paul gulped as a familiar feeling of terror swept over him. He hated high places—had ever since he was a boy and had gotten himself stuck in a tree. He hadn’t been able to talk any of his brothers into helping him down and had ended up falling and breaking his leg.

  “C–can you help me get down?” Aaron pleaded.

  His heart hammering in his chest, Paul drew in a deep breath and hung the lantern on a nearby nail. “I’m coming, Aaron. Just, please, hang on.”

  Chapter 22

  Paul’s hands turned sweaty, and his legs trembled like a newborn foal’s as he drew in a deep breath, grabbed hold of the ladder, and slowly ascended it. Don’t think about where you are. Don’t look down. Take one rung at a time. Lord, please ease my fears and help me do this.

  “I–I’m really scared,” Aaron cried from above. “My hands hurt from holdin’ on so tight. I feel like I’m gonna fall.”

  A chill rippled through Paul. What if the child let go? If Aaron fell from that height, it could kill him. “Be still, Aaron. I’m almost there.” Paul didn’t want to admit it, but he figured he was probably more afraid than the boy. Philippians 4:13 floated through Paul’s mind: “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”

  Paul sent up a silent prayer. With Your help, Lord, I can get Aaron back down this ladder and safely into his mother’s arms.

  When Paul reached the rung directly below Aaron, he wrapped his arms around the boy and held him tightly for a few seconds. Aaron stiffened at first but finally relaxed. Paul did the same.

  The child sniffed. “H–how are you gonna get me down?”

  “We’ll go the same way we came up—one rung at a time.” Paul kept one arm around Aaron’s waist and grabbed hold of a rung.

  “D–don’t let me go.” Aaron’s voice shook with emotion, and Paul’s fears for himself abated. Aaron was his first priority. All that mattered was getting Barbara’s son safely to the ground.

  “I’m going to hold you around the middle with one arm, and we’ll inch our way down the ladder together. Are you ready?”

  “I—I think so.”

  “Step with your left foot until you feel it touch the rung below. And whatever you do, don’t look down.”

&n
bsp; Paul was relieved when Aaron did as he was told.

  Slowly, rung by rung, the two descended the ladder. All the while, Paul kept one arm around Aaron’s waist and whispered comforting words in his ear. “We’re going to make it, son. Almost there. Just a few more rungs to go.”

  When Paul’s feet touched the ground, he lifted Aaron with both hands, turning the child to face him.

  Aaron threw his arms around Paul’s neck and clung to him tearfully. “I ain’t never goin’ up there again—that’s for certain sure.”

  Paul patted Aaron’s back as the boy’s tears dampened his shirt. “It’s okay now. You’re going to be all right.”

  “I shouldn’t have run off like I did. Shouldn’t have climbed the silo ladder, either.” Aaron hiccuped. “I’m sorry for spoutin’ off back at the house.”

  “All’s forgiven. It’s behind us now.”

  When Aaron’s tears subsided, Paul set him on the ground. “You know what?”

  “What?”

  “I’ve been afraid of heights ever since I was a boy. Climbing up that ladder had me scared half to death.”

  Aaron’s dark eyes grew large. “Really?”

  “Jah. I prayed and asked God to help us through it, though. ”

  “You’re not just sayin’ that to make me feel better?”

  “Nope. It’s the truth, plain and simple.”

  “Then why’d you do it?”

  “Because I care about you, son.” The words came surprisingly easy, and Paul paused as he thought about what to say next. This was the chance he’d been waiting for with Aaron, and he didn’t want to mess it up by saying the wrong thing. “I know I can never take your daed’s place, and I’m not trying to,” he assured the boy. “All I want is for us to be friends.”

  Aaron’s lower lip quivered. “It was brave of you to climb up and rescue me. I’ll never forget it, neither. Danki, Paul.”

  “You’re welcome.” Paul gave Aaron’s shoulder a squeeze. “I think we’d better head back to the house, don’t you?”

  “I guess. But I’ll probably be in big trouble for bein’ gone so long and all.”

  “Your mamm has been worried about you.”

  “You think she’ll be real mad?”

  Paul shrugged. “That’s hard to say. When I was a boy and did something my mamm disapproved of, I always knew she loved me, even if I ended up getting a bletsching.”

  Aaron’s eyes were wide. “You think Mama’s gonna use the paddle on my backside?”

  “I doubt it. Seems to me she’ll just be glad to see you’re okay.”

  “Guess I’d better take my chances, huh?”

  Paul ruffled the boy’s sweat-soaked hair. No telling how long he’d been up on that ladder, too scared to move a muscle. “It’s going to be fine—you’ll see.”

  “Jah, okay. Let’s go.”

  Paul breathed a sigh of relief, shut the door leading to the silo, and sent up another prayer. Thank You, God, for giving me the courage to climb that ladder and for mending fences between Aaron and me. Maybe now he’ll allow me to be his friend.

  Barbara finally put the boys to bed, and hoping to calm her nerves, she decided to fix herself a cup of chamomile tea. She had just put the kettle on to heat when the back door swung open. Her heart leaped as Aaron stepped into the room, followed by Paul.

  “Thank the Lord, you found him!” she cried.

  Aaron rushed to his mother’s side and wrapped his arms around her waist. “I’m sorry for sayin’ such ugly things before and running out of the house that way. It was wrong, and I know it.”

  “Your apology is accepted.” Barbara leaned down and kissed her son’s damp cheek. His eyes were red and puffy, moist with lingering tears. She looked up at Paul. “Where’d you find him?”

  Before he could respond, Aaron blurted out, “Way up on the silo ladder. Scared silly, I was, too.”

  “What?” She gasped. “Oh, Aaron, you know you’re not supposed to play in there. It’s dangerous. What if you’d fallen? What if—”

  “He’s okay, Barbara,” Paul interrupted. “No harm came to the boy.”

  Aaron nodded. “Paul climbed up, even though he was scared, and he saved me, Mama. Him and me are gonna be friends from now on.” He grinned at Paul. “Ain’t that right?”

  Paul nodded. “It sure is.”

  Barbara blinked back sudden tears. This change in Aaron’s attitude was an answer to prayer. “I’m so glad, son—about you being safe and Paul becoming your friend.” Her gaze went to Paul. “Danki.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  Barbara glanced at Aaron again. “Your hands are dirty. You’d better wash up at the sink.”

  He did as he was told, and Barbara turned back to Paul. “Would you like to sit a spell and have a cup of tea?”

  Paul shook his head. “I appreciate the offer, but I’d better get home. I’m sure some chores still need to be done.” He chuckled. “Besides, knowing Mom, she’s probably fretting by now. When I left the house earlier, I only told her I was bringing that busted bridle over, so she’s most likely wondering what’s taken me so long.”

  “I hope she didn’t hold supper on your account.”

  “Naw, Mom knows if I’m not home when it’s time to eat, I must have found someplace else to take my meal. That’s how it’s been ever since I was a boy.”

  Barbara smiled as she walked Paul to the door. “Thanks again for rescuing Aaron. I guess we’ll see you at church on Sunday.”

  “You can count on it.” He turned and waved at Aaron, who was drying his hands on a towel. “Good-bye, son.”

  “Bye, Paul.”

  On the drive home, Paul replayed the events of the evening in his mind. Even though he hadn’t been able to tell Barbara what was on his heart, two good things had happened. He had conquered his fear of heights, and he’d finally made friends with Barbara’s oldest son.

  “Now, that’s a step in the right direction,” Paul murmured into the darkness. Maybe tonight wasn’t the time to tell Barbara how he’d come to feel about her, anyhow. It might be best to wait until he and Aaron had developed a stronger relationship before he told Barbara that he’d fallen in love with her.

  Paul clicked his tongue and jiggled the reins to prompt his horse into moving a bit faster. Maybe sticking around Webster County until the harvest was done wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all.

  When he arrived home, he was still smiling over his encounter with Aaron. If things went well, he might have a chance with Barbara. If she didn’t marry the bishop, that is.

  “Where have you been so long?” Paul’s mother asked when he walked in the door. “Your daed and I were getting worried.”

  “I went over to Barbara’s to get the bridle fixed and ended up staying for supper,” he replied.

  “I told your mamm that’s probably what happened,” Pop said with a wink in Paul’s direction.

  “I would have been home sooner, but Aaron got stuck on the top rung of the silo ladder, and I had to rescue the boy.”

  Mom’s mouth dropped open. “But you’re afraid of heights.”

  Paul nodded. “I know, but I couldn’t let the little fellow fall just because I was scared to go up the ladder. But after tonight, I think I could climb up there again and not be afraid.”

  “I’m glad to hear you’ve conquered your fear,” Mom said.

  “Jah, me, too,” Paul responded. “It was only because I prayed and God helped me through it, though.”

  “It’s good that we can call on Him through prayer whenever we need to.”

  Paul nodded.

  “How are things at the harness shop?” Pop asked, taking their conversation in another direction. “Is Barbara getting along okay?”

  “She’s managing, I guess. But Samuel’s arthritis had been acting up again, and Barbara told me she’s getting further behind.”

  “Harvesting will be done soon,” Pop said. “I was wondering if you might consider speaking to Barbara about the possibili
ty of buying into her shop. Sure would make your mamm and me glad if you stayed here instead of going back to Pennsylvania.”

  “I’ll give the matter some consideration.” Paul wanted to stay in Webster County and work at Zook’s Harness Shop. Whether he did that as Barbara’s business partner and friend or as her husband remained to be seen.

  Chapter 23

  On Sunday, the preaching service was held at Samuel Raber’s house. When Bishop John pulled his horse and buggy up to the barn, he was pleased to see Moses Hilty climbing down from his own rig. “Wie geht’s?” he asked. “How’s your back feeling today?”

  “It’s doing some better,” Moses said, “but I still have to be careful with it.”

  “That’s probably a good idea. Don’t want to risk reinjuring it.”

  “Nope, that’s for certain sure.” John waited until Moses’s wife had headed to the house; then he moved closer to Moses and said, “Have you decided whether to hire someone to take your place in the fields, or does Paul plan to stick around and keep farming for you?”

  Moses shook his head. “He won’t be staying once the harvest is done, and I already spoke with Enos Miller about working for me. He’s looking for a job right now, so it should work well for both of us.”

  “That’s good to hear. Jah, real good.” John squeezed Moses’s shoulder. “Guess I’d better go inside and get ready for church. Take care of that back, now, you hear?”

  Moses nodded. “I’m doin’ my best.”

  As John headed for the Rabers’ house, he was filled with a sense of hope. Paul would be moving back to Pennsylvania, Barbara was content to run her harness shop on her own, and Moses would soon have a new helper. Now he just needed to get up the nerve to ask Margaret to marry him. If she said yes, everything would be perfect.

  Paul shifted on the hard bench where he sat on the men’s side of the room. He was having a hard time keeping his mind on the church service. All he could think about was Barbara. He hadn’t been able to speak with her since the night Aaron had climbed up the silo ladder, but he hoped he might get the chance later today. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say now that he’d had more time to think about things. Maybe it would be best if he kept his feelings for her to himself and waited to see how things went between Barbara and the bishop. In the meantime, he needed to work on strengthening his relationship with Aaron.