Within Miles

by K. J. Carrigan

  I picked a strawberry out and bit it. “No. I don’t want to date anyone. We had sex Anna, that doesn’t mean I’m going to start a relationship with him.”

  Anna rolled her eyes at me. “Right, because of Miles. He broke your heart Thea. Yeah, he was fucking hot to look at and was probably a god in the sack but come on, you have to move on.”

  I knew Anna was right and she knew it too. I popped another piece of fruit in my mouth and almost choked when I heard Cole’s voice coming from outside.

  “Thea? Are you home?” He called.

  “Is that him? Oh my god, his voice alone is fucking sexy.” Anna whispered, her eyes wondering to the door. “Well are you going to answer him?”

  I shook my head. I didn’t want to talk to him right now. What was I going to say? We had great sex last night, giving me the best orgasm of my life but I was just using you for your cock and your snuggling skills? How pathetic.

  “Christ Thea. If you won’t answer him, I will.” Anna got up before I could stop her.

  “You must be Cole.” I heard her say in her seductive voice. “I’m Anna, Thea’s best friend. She’s sleeping at the moment. Would you like for me to relay a message to her?”

  I could hear Cole clear his throat before he spoke. “Yeah, could you tell her that I’m sorry if she didn’t enjoy last night. I know that she is wounded and isn’t ready for whatever I have to offer her. Just let her know that OK?” I could tell Cole was uncomfortable with talking to Anna, because she was probably raping him with her eyes at the moment.

  “I’m sure she enjoyed last night. Who wouldn’t enjoy sex with a sexy man like you but I’ll relay the message.” I rolled my eyes. Tone your lust down a little Anna.

  “Thanks Anna. It was nice meeting you.” I heard the screen door close and in an instant, Anna was beside me.

  “Holy Paul Walker, batman! You weren’t kidding. If you don’t want him, I’ll take him. Miles who? Right? I mean, Miles is like William Levy Hot but he’s untouchable now. Cole is so touchable. He lives on your land for god sake. What’s wrong with tapping that for a while?”

  “Shut up Anna, I’m going to take a nap.”

  I didn’t want to hear any more about her comparisons between the two men. I knew what the comparisons were. Cole was gentle, compassionate, and the boy next door. Miles was aggressive, sweet, and a heartbreaker. Miles was out of my life and Cole was right here under my fingertips.

  I flew onto my bed and shut my eyes. The first two things on tomorrow’s agenda, getting a new phone and getting my prescriptions refilled.

  A Place to Call My Own

  In the morning, I walked to my car, hoping to avoid a run in with Cole. I wasn’t so lucky.

  “Can I talk to you for a moment Thea?” Cole said as he ran up to my car. I took a deep breath and reluctantly turned around.

  “Sure, what’s up?” I tried to smile but failed.

  “Did you get my message?” He said, squinting his blue eyes from the glare of the morning sun.

  “Yes, Anna told me.” I looked around to see if anyone was watching us and when I didn’t see anyone, I continued. “I did enjoy Saturday night Cole. I don’t know why you would think I didn’t but it was a mistake. I used you and I’m sorry for that. You are my employee and I hope Saturday won’t screw up our professional relationship.” There, I said it. I was truthful and I felt better. I looked into Cole’s eyes and was surprised by what I saw there, amusement.

  “Don’t be sorry for using me Thea. I enjoyed it. As for our working relationship, you don’t have to worry about me. My lips are sealed.” I let out a sigh of relief. Thank god.

  “That’s great. I’m glad we got that cleared up. Now if you will excuse me, I have to head to town.” I turned around to get into my car.

  “Oh, one more thing Thea,” Cole said and I rolled my window down. He leaned in so that our lips were almost touching. “If you want to use me again, you know where to find me.” He gave me a wink and walked back to the stables. I was in trouble, heaps of trouble.

  After I bought a new cell phone, I walked to the doctor’s office. The pharmacy had told me that I needed to refill my script with my doctor first before they could refill them.

  I sat in the waiting room and waited for Dr. Tully to finish with his current patient.

  I picked up a magazine from the table and flipped through it. I stopped at an ad that caught my eye.

  C.A.T Contractors and Architects

  Serving Western United States

  You tell us what to build and we will build it. No job is too small or too big.

  There were pictures of large homes and small. My eyes caught a picture of a small log cabin. It was beautiful and perfect.

  I tore the page out of the magazine, folded it up and placed it in my purse.

  After I met with the doctor, I headed home. I wanted to show Lancey the ad and maybe get his opinion on the idea of having the company build the log cabin on the land.

  I was ready to move out of my parent’s big house and start a life in one of my own.

  When I got home, I found Lancey and handed him the ad.

  After he looked it over he gave me a smile and said, “I’ll look into it Darlin. Is this really what you want?” I could tell he was a little taken back by my idea but my mind was made up. I wanted to do this for myself. I needed closure and this was the way I got it.

  “I’m sure Lancey. Thanks.” I kissed him on the cheek and went into the house to make lunch.

  The sun had gone down for the evening and I decided to curl up in the den with a book. I was excited about my idea of the log cabin. I looked around the large room. I would miss living in this house but it was time for me to let go of the memories and start making ones for myself.

  There was a knock at the door. I looked at the clock above the fireplace. It was after ten. Who the hell would be stopping by at this hour?

  I put my book down and walked to the door. When I opened it, I immediately wanted to slam it shut in the asshole’s face.

  “What the fuck are you doing here Alex?” By the look of his clothes, I’d say that he had had one hell of a day but I didn’t give a shit. He was poisoning my land just being on it.

  “I left Ashley tonight. I want to be with you Thea.” I rolled my eyes.

  “You sound like a broken record Alex. I told you Saturday night that I don’t want to be with you. Do you not understand simple English?”

  “Is this about that sleazy stripper boyfriend of yours?” He looked around. “Cause I don’t see him here with you. Is he whoring it up in Vegas?”

  I was pissed the fuck off. How dare he judge Miles on his profession? Granted, Miles was an asshole too but Alex was a whole new breed of asshole, the worst kind.

  “Get the hell of my property you fucking dick before I shove my shot gun right up your ass and pull the trigger.”

  Alex laughed at me then, which fueled my anger even more. “I know you Thea; you couldn’t hurt a fly, let alone me.” Alex started to walk closer to me. I backed up until my feet were past the foyer.

  “I think you should listen to her.” I heard Cole say from behind Alex.

  Alex spun around to face Cole. “And who the fuck are you? I’m trying to have a conversation with my future wife so you better butt the hell out of our business.”

  I couldn’t help but to burst out laughing. “Your future wife Alex, really? If I had to choose between homeless Bob and you, I would choose Bob you asshole. Now get the fuck off my land.”

  That got Alex’s attention. “Listen to me Thea. Your stripper boyfriend or this asshole over here even, can’t give you the life that I can. You always wanted kids and a house and a family, well I can give that to you. Just say the word and it’s yours, all yours.”

  I pointed at his truck. “Leave now”

  Alex walked down the steps shaking his head. “OK you fucking bitch have it your way but when you…” Alex’s words were cut off my Cole’s fist hitting him square in the mou
th.

  When Alex was down on the ground holding his bloodied mouth, Cole got right up into his face and said, “You never speak to a lady like that, do you hear me? No wonder why she doesn’t want you, you piece of shit.”

  Alex stood up, gave me one last look and stumbled to his truck. When he was gone, I looked down at Cole standing on the sidewalk. His fist was cut open from hitting Alex’s teeth.

  “Let’s get you cleaned up.” I held my hand out to him and he accepted.

  We sat in the kitchen while I tended to his cuts. “Thanks for that. Alex always was an asshole. I just wish I would have seen it back then.”

  Cole hissed when I cleaned his cut. “Nah, we all make mistakes. Anyway, Lancey was telling me about how you want to build a house for yourself.”

  I looked over at him and put a bandage on his knuckles. “Yeah, it was kind of an out of the blue decision but I think it will help me move on, you know?”

  Cole nodded his head. “Change is a good thing Thea. It helps us move on from the good and the bad.” I looked at his pale blue eyes and messed hair. He was so kind and caring. I wanted him again. God help me I did.

  I moved in closer to him and looked down at his plump lips. “Did you really mean what you said before about me using you anytime?” I breathed.

  Cole nodded. “I know you are in love with someone else and I don’t expect you to feel for me what you do him but I can make you feel good. Make each other feel good.” That’s all I needed to hear.

  I kissed his juicy lips like a mad woman. Soon our tongues were locked together in the most intimate way. Cole knocked everything off the kitchen table and placed me on top of it. He yanked my clothes off faster than I thought possible and I did the same to him.

  “I wanted you the first moment I saw you.” He said between kisses.

  “Me too” I panted.

  Cole covered himself with a condom and drove into me with one long thrust. His dick was just what I needed.

  I arched my back off the table to take him deeper into me. We both moaned in unison as he relentlessly slammed into me.

  “Cum for me, I want to feel you.” Cole said through gritted teeth. I came long and hard, causing me to cry out my pleasure. Cole followed he seconds later, moaning his release.

  We lay on the table for a long while as we caught our breaths. Maybe this employee with benefits was a good thing. I felt lust for Cole, but love, no. I didn’t love him and I don’t think I could, not with my heart belonging to Miles.

  “I should go.” Cole said and got up.

  “Thanks?” I said with a smile. He laughed and gathered up his clothes. “Goodnight Cole.” I said as I watched him dress and make his way to the door.

  “Goodnight Thea. I can’t promise you anything.” His odd words made me cock my head to the side in confusion.

  “Promise me what?” I called after him but all I heard in return was my front door closing shut.

  Out with the Old

  September 2010

  It had been two months since I saw the ad for the log cabin and I was getting antsy. Lancey had called the company and they were scheduled to come tomorrow morning to look at the land I had picked for my house to sit on.

  It was about a hundred yards away from my family home and to the right. I still needed to be close to the stables for obvious reasons.

  “Miss Faith McQueen will be here at ten for the assessment. She will be bringing her associate with her. Do you have all the plans ready to give to them darlin?” Lancey asked while I was preparing lunch.

  “Yeah I’ve got them ready. I hope my design will be OK.” I had drawn out a blueprint on my computer. I wanted a three bedroom ranch style log cabin with vaulted ceilings. The kitchen was large and so was the living room. I didn’t need a den, study, parlor and all that other junk that this house has. I wanted it sweet and simple.

  “I’m sure they can work with it darlin.” Lancey patted me on the shoulder and left the kitchen.

  I looked out the window. Cole was carrying a barrel of hay to the stables. His muscles bulged from the workout, which made me drool. We have been having sex every night since we met two months ago and god was it fantastic. We had sex and either he or I went home right after. I felt a little guilty about using him but it seemed he was using me too, so it was a win win situation.

  I liked Cole. He was funny and sweet and boy could he eat me like no body’s business but something was missing on my side of things. I didn’t feel what I should be feeling for him at this point. Sure I felt friendship and even companionship and sometimes I felt this weird pull to him. It was a feeling that I couldn’t explain and to be honest, didn’t want to explain. I’m not sure what he felt but I could only imagine it was the same thing I was, or wasn’t feeling.

  Cole could feel my eyes on him because he looked up from what he was doing and mouthed, “Tonight?” I nodded my head and he winked back.

  Later that night I rode to Cole’s cottage and tied Midnight to the nearest tree. I opened the door and saw Cole waiting for me naked on the floor. I laughed as I walked over to him, discarding my clothes as I walked.

  “Well well well aren’t we eager tonight.” When I was completely naked, Cole held his arms out to me to join him on the soft rug on the floor.

  We had sex like we had dozens of time before, with heat and passion.

  “Are you nervous about tomorrow?” Cole asked as he played with my hair.

  I turned to face him. “No, just excited. I’m ready for my new home.” Cole smiled and continued playing with my hair. He seemed lost in thought.

  “Something on your mind?” I asked, cocking my eyebrow.

  “No, nothing out of the normal.” He answered. I was confused.

  “Tell me, I want to know.” I sat up and faced him. “We are friends and I expect you to tell me if something’s troubling you.”

  “You don’t want to know, trust me.” He looked away from me. Something was up with him.

  I pinched his nipple to get his attention. “Tell me” I demanded.

  “Fine, I will tell you but you aren’t going to like it,” I waited.

  “Do you see a future with me Thea? Are we just going to stay friends with benefits or do you want more from me? Because I want to give you more.” I rolled my eyes. He was right; I didn’t want to know this.

  I put a hand on his chest. “Cole, I care for you, I really do but I can’t give you my heart.”

  “Forget I said anything. I know you aren’t ready for anything serious. I was just being selfish.” He was sad. I didn’t want him to feel that way. I placed my hand over his heart.

  “Trust me Cole, I want nothing more than to forget about Miles but it’s going to take time. Maybe then I can give you everything I have but until then, I can’t.”

  “He’s not going to come for you Thea. He hasn’t called or texted you in months. I know this is hard for you to understand but if I were him, I would have never left you in the first place and it’s not fair that you have to suffer for that. Just know that I will wait for you, no matter how long it takes.”

  I kissed him lightly on the lips. “Thank you Cole. Just give me time, that’s all I’m asking for.” I felt bad for lying to him about my feelings but for me, it wasn’t there. Maybe I could grow to love him. I didn’t know.

  We dropped the subject of our relationship and went straight for round two.

  The next morning, I got up and made us coffee. The contractors would be here in an hour but I needed to get back to the house and change before that.

  “Can I ride up to the house with you? I want to talk to Lancey about something.” Cole asked between bites of his toast.

  “Sure. You finish up here and I’ll get dressed real quick.”

  We rode the trail back to the main house. We laughed about the new jokes Red was spreading around the stables. When we trotted up to the house, I spotted a black SUV parked in the grass.

  “Shit the contractors are here early. I look like a mess
and smell like sex.” Cole laughed and turned his head to smell my hair. “Sex smells good on you.” I pinched his stomach. “Stop” I said laughing.

  I saw Lancey come out of the stables and approach the SUV. A woman got out of the driver’s seat and shook his hand.

  “Damn that’s one hot contractor.” Cole said as he jumped from the horse, holding his hands up for me to jump into.

  I looked as I heard the second car door shut and froze. Holy fucking hell!

  “What’s wrong?” Cole said when he lifted me off Midnight. I couldn’t talk. My throat closed up from all my emotion.

  “Miles” I breathed into Cole’s neck.

  “What?” He answered, surprised.

  I walked slowly to Lancey. I could feel everyone’s eyes on me, including Miles’. “Lancey, please escort our guests to the land I picked out. I need a minute.”

  I walked quickly to the house. I could hear feet behind me. Please not Miles. Please not Miles. I chanted in my head.

  “Thea?” Cole’s voice said behind me.

  “It’s him Cole, Its Miles. He’s here.” I didn’t look back as I walked into the house. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry. That son of a bitch. Why did he come here?

  Cole followed me into my bedroom and pointed out the window. “That guy is Miles, as in Las Vegas Miles?” I nodded my head. “That fucker is going to die.” Cole spat out.

  “Stop Cole. You are not going to kill my ex…whatever he is. He is here to build my house and that is it. I’m not even going to talk to him.” He knew and I knew that that was a big fat lie.

  I wanted to ask Miles so many things and on top of that, I wanted to have his face meet my fist.

  Cole let out the breath he was holding. “Fine, go get cleaned up and meet us outside.”

  Cole left me to shower and change. I felt like I was going to puke. Everything was a mess. Last night, Cole declares his devotion to me and now Miles fucking Taylor, showing up at my doorstep to build my house. Oh fabulous day!