Within Miles

by K. J. Carrigan

  “Go show him what he’s been missing darlin!” Lancey shouted at me as I walked through the door. I laughed and rolled my eyes. The last thing I wanted to do was show Alexander Huffman what he’s been missing for three years. I wanted to bury my past and tonight was my first step, starting with him.

  Blast from the Past

  I pulled my car into the overflowing parking lot of the fancy restaurant and took a deep breath.

  I had almost had a panic attack on the way here, so I had popped an anxiety pill on the road. Why the fuck was I here? Why would I put myself through this torture? Oh yeah, closure. As much as I’d like to think I was ready for this night, I really wasn’t.

  I should be settling down and having children. Not my asshole of an ex-boyfriend. Yes, I was in love with Alex once, well I thought I was at least. Up until my trip to Vegas, I really thought I still loved him. Maybe I still did? I also thought I was madly in love with Miles, and look how that turned out, a fucking disaster.

  I looked at myself in the rearview mirror. “Get a fucking grip Thea. You will go in there, wish him well and get out of dodge.” I smoothed my hair down and took another deep breath.

  I pasted on a fake smile and opened the door to the restaurant. Oh my god, I was in high school all over again. I looked around the room to see almost my whole graduating class there.

  “Holy shit! Thea fucking Farris!” Josh, an old friend of Ares, said to me as he came charging at me. He gripped me into a tight bear hug. “How the hell have you been?” He asked as he released me.

  I smiled at his handsome face. “Fine” I lied. “How about you Josh, how are things in New York?” Josh had moved there when he was fresh out of high school. He had gotten a full ride scholarship to NYU to play football.

  “It’s great. It’s not home but it’s good.” He gave me a once over, paying extra attention to my cleavage. “Wow Thea, you look great!” I lightly rolled my eyes.

  “Thanks” I simply replied.

  Josh was one of those guys that never had a language filter. In high school, he had bluntly told me that if I wasn’t Ares’ little sister, he would fuck the shit out of me. I could see in his eyes that he still felt the same way.

  “There you are!” Anna shouted from across the room. Saved by my best friend. God, I love her. “Stop pawing over Thea and give her to me.” Anna said as she yanked my arm to join her.

  “It was nice seeing you Josh.” I said over my shoulder.

  “Fucking hell Thea! Alex has been asking where you were. He wants to see you.” I yanked my hand from Anna’s.

  “I bet he does.” I said and straighten out my shoulders. Here goes nothing.

  I saw Alex across the room talking to his parents. He still looked exactly the same as he k blue suit and a matching tie. I always loved seeing him all dressed up. It used to make my heart flutter. Not now. It made me want to turn around and run. If that wasn’t a sign that I didn’t love him anymore, I didn’t know what was.

  “Hi Thea” Alex said as I approached him. A big smile was placed on his face. Nope, I felt nothing.

  “Hello Alex. Congratulations.” I held my hand out so that we could shake but instead he pulled me into a tight embrace. He still smelled the same, old Spice and soap. I wanted to gag.

  I pulled my body away from his and composed myself. “Where is your fiancé? I would love to meet her.” It was surprising even to me that my question was genuine. I did want to meet her. At this moment, I was happy it was her marrying Alex and not me.

  “Ashley honey, this is Thea Farris. Thea, this is my fiancée, Ashley Wright.” I looked at her. She was the complete opposite of me. Her hair was light blonde and her eyes were the color of chocolate. Her body was curvy but well proportioned. I held my hand out to her.

  “It’s nice to meet you Ashley. Congratulations.” Ashley took my outreached hand and shook it happily.

  “Thank you for coming. I’ve heard a lot about you Thea. It’s nice to finally put a face to the name.” Wow. Alex actually talked about me? This was surprising.

  I stood there and listened to how Alex and Ashley met, feeling Alex’s eyes on me the whole time Ashley talked. God, I was going to be sick.

  “Please excuse me for a moment.” I said as I grabbed a glass of campaign from a passing waiter. I needed some fresh air.

  I stepped out onto the large patio. I listened to the water fall off the large fountain in the middle of the impressive garden.

  Despite the beautiful scenery before me, and the hundred or so people inside, I felt lonely and sad. I missed Miles. I wanted to hear Miles’ voice in my ear. Feel his strong arms around me.

  I pulled out my phone and looked at his text again. I didn’t want to feel this way. This was my attempt at a fresh start god damn it!

  “Fuck” I said as I threw my phone in the fountain. I watched it sink to the bottom.

  “Having boyfriend troubles?” A familiar voice said from behind me. I knew who it was. I didn’t turn around as I answered.

  “That’s none of your business Alex.” I held my gaze on my ruined phone on the bottom of the fountain.

  “I heard you are dating a Las Vegas stripper. Is that true?” I felt his chest against my back.

  “What part of none of your business don’t you understand Alex?” I said with anger. Who the fuck was he to judge me? Why did he care who I dated?

  “Are you happy Thea?” I could feel his breath in my hair.

  “I’m fucking peachy Alex. Have a nice night and congrats again. I’m leaving.”

  I started to pull away but he grabbed me by the wrist. “I still love you Thea. God, I still do. When you walked in here, I thought I was going to suffocate. You still take my breath away.” I was facing him now. His eyes bored into mine as he declared his love for me.

  “The thing is Alex, I don’t love you. I did once but things are different now. How can you say you love me with Ashley not more than fifty feet away?”

  I yanked my arm away from his hold. “God Alex, you are still the same. When times get rough, you quit and move on.” I was shouting now. Alex had opened up a whole new can of anger within me.

  “Look at me Alex. You left me to die in the hospital. You left me remember. I needed you and you left. Do you have any idea what I went through? What I’m still going through? Fuck no you don’t because you never cared enough to find out.” I poked his chest with my finger. “You had me once and now you don’t. It’s that simple.”

  Alex pulled me to him and crushed his lips to mine. He tried to pry my lips open with his tongue but I squeezed them shut. He made me sick. I wanted to punch him in the face.

  I struggled to break free from his hold and when I did, I slapped him as hard as my hand would allow.

  He staggered backwards. “Thea” he held his injured cheek. “I still love you and want you back. I will make up for the past, I promise.”

  Instead of anger, I felt amused so I laughed in his face. “There is no making up for the past Alex. You made your bed and now you have to lay in it. Goodbye Alex.”

  Starting Over

  I raced down the highway as fast as my little car would allow. I needed a hot bath and to brush my teeth at least ten times to get the taste of Alex off of me. He was the saddest excuse for a human being I had ever met. Thank god I wasn’t the one he was marrying. In five years he would probably get bored with me and trade me in for a better model. Screw all that.

  I needed a man who would love me forever, a man who would look at other women and only see my face. Apparently, neither Alex nor Miles was the man for the job.

  I pulled through the gate of my ranch and spotted the small pond to my left. It was dark out and the moon reflected off the perfect water.

  I stopped my car on the side of the drive and got out. I walked to the edge of the water and smiled. I could hear the crickets and the movement of cattle in the distance. This was my solace. I looked up at the small cabin on the edge of the pond. The lights were out so maybe Cole was a
sleep and wouldn’t hear me go for a swim.

  I pealed my dress and underwear off and slowly crept into the warm water. The fresh water felt good on my skin as I swam to the far side of the pond.

  “Who’s there?” I heard a foreign accent call from the dock. Oh fuck! Here I was, skinny dipping in the pond with an audience, just my luck. I knew there wasn’t any way I could swim back across the pond without getting a bullet in my ass.

  I covered my bare breasts and yelled back. “It’s me Thea!”

  “I thought you were at a party.” Cole answered back.

  “Long story, just continue what you were doing. I won’t bother you” I said and swam towards my clothes.

  “Do you want a drink?” Cole hollered.

  I stopped swimming. Hum, yes a drink sounded good at this point. “Only if you get a blanket for me to cover in” I said back to him and started swimming in the direction of the dock.

  “You got it”

  I waited in the water until Cole returned with a blanket and a bottle of alcohol. He turned around so that I could cover my naked body.

  We settled ourselves on the dock, sharing drinks from the bottle. “So what’s the long story?” Cole asked as he handed the bottle to me. I sighed and took a drink. I pondered his question for a minute. I did need to talk to somebody. I wanted to try and turn over a new leaf and confide in someone. Cole seemed like a good enough guy to tell my story to, minus a few parts.

  I opened my mouth and began. I told him about my family, Alex and Miles. It felt good to get it all out. The bottle of booze was gone by the time I finished. I looked over at Cole with sad eyes. He looked across the water into the darkness.

  “I think you are one strong woman Thea. What you have been through is not something that a person should. I can’t blame Alex for wanting you back though, look at you. You are not only beautiful outside but inside too.” I blushed and looked away. He continued. “As for Miles, I don’t know what that bloke was thinking. You obviously can get any man you want.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Yeah right” I could feel Cole’s gaze locked on my face.

  “Have you looked in the mirror Thea? Your crew worships the ground you walk on. They are fifty some year old men and they wouldn’t mind rolling in the sack with you at least once. Well except for Lancey. He would kill them all.” He laughed and I couldn’t help but to laugh with him. “You are a fool if you think you couldn’t have any man you wanted.”

  I looked up at Cole’s handsome face. What if I wanted you, just for tonight? I wanted to say but didn’t. That’s the last thing I needed. Sleeping with the staff was a very bad idea even if my libido was on overdrive.

  I looked down and started pealing the label off the empty bottle. “Thanks Cole. I promise I wasn’t fishing for complements.” We laughed. “But sometimes I wonder if this.” I gestured to my land. “Is all I was meant for? You know? Like marriage and kids aren’t in the cards for me. Does that make sense?”

  He nodded. “It makes perfect sense. When I divorced, I wanted to move as far away from New Zealand as I could possibly get. It wasn’t a clean divorce by any means. She wanted to party and be irresponsible but I wanted to settle down and have kids, so I ended it and it was the best choice I have ever made. I am happy here. I can see my future on your ranch.” I looked up at him. He was being genuine, I could tell by the look on his face.

  “I’m happy to have you here Cole. You are a hard worker and a kind soul.” Our eyes locked. The depth of his eyes was unbelievable. Our bodies started to gravitate to the other.

  I closed my eyes as our lips touched. It was a sweet kiss at first but it soon turned into a lustful one. His tongue brushed against mine. He tasted like cinnamon and whiskey.

  I wanted him, I needed him tonight. Just for one night I wanted to feel safe inside a pair of strong arms.

  I removed the blanket that was covering my naked body.

  “Are you sure about this Thea?” Cole said breathlessly.

  “Yes Cole. I’m sure even if it’s this one time.” I said as I peeled off his shirt.

  “Trust me, after tonight; I won’t be able to stay away.” I smiled at his statement and straddled his jean clad legs.

  His erection brushed against my smooth core. As far as I could tell, there wasn’t a sock deep within his jeans; he was nothing but pure male.

  Cole kissed me deeply and picked me up, holding me by my naked bottom. He carried me to the small cottage and kicked the door closed.

  “You have the sexist voice.” I said as I undid the button of his pants.

  “You have the most delicious lips I have ever tasted.” He said back to me, moving his finger over them.

  I shimmied his pants off and stood back up to kiss him again. Our moves were almost frantic as Cole grabbed a condom off the table and covered his hard cock.

  “Please, I need you” I pleated. Cole picked me up again and carried me to the bedroom. He laid me down gently on the queen sized bed and looked down at me.

  “You have the most beautiful green eyes I have ever seen. I want you to look at me with them as I bury myself deep within you.” Cole didn’t take his eyes off of me as he slowly entered my throbbing core.

  He was longer than what I had expected. His cock hit my sweet spot and I cried out from the intensity of it.

  “Oh god you’re so deep!” I screamed through our panting.

  He was so rooted into me that it almost hurt. Miles hadn’t been a small guy but he had never made me feel this full, this consumed.

  “You feel so good.” Cole rasped as he thrust deeper into me. I almost choked on my own cries. I was frantic to be closer to him.

  I wiggled underneath him to let him know that I wanted to change positions. He reluctantly pulled out of me and I flipped on my stomach, bent my knees and braced my hands on the headboard.

  “Such a perfect ass” Cole whispered as he pushed deep inside my very wet channel. My hands gripped the headboard. Oh god! It felt as though he was going to split me in two.

  He began circling my anus with his finger. I had never had anyone touch that part of me and to be honest, it kind of grossed me out but not with Cole. His finger began to slowly penetrate me and all I could do was whimper. I would have never thought it would feel this good.

  “Do you like that Thea?” Cole asked with a lustful tone.

  “Yes, God yes. Don’t stop.” I all but cried out.

  “Have you ever been fucked right here Thea?” Cole asked as he pumped into me, his finger in my ass and his long, talented cock in my pussy.

  “No” I answered and yelped when he stuck another finger into my virgin hole.

  “Do you want to?” He asked, never losing his rhythm.

  “Yes maybe.” I answered truthfully. If his cock was big enough to almost rip my uterus in half what would it do to the insides of my ass? I almost didn’t want to find out.

  He moaned and continued fucking me senseless. “Don’t worry sweet Thea; I won’t be doing that tonight.”

  The sexiness of his voice was enough to set me off. My orgasm crashed through me like I had never experienced. My body shook uncontrollably, sobs broke from my throat.

  Cole grunted his own release and collapsed on top of me. I struggled to catch my breath after the best sexual experience I had ever had.

  Mistake?

  I woke the next morning feeling a very sated Cole beside me. His wavy hair covered one of his closed eyes. Last night he had showed me how it felt to be wanted again and I had enjoyed every minute of it, now, not so much.

  I got up from the bed, making sure not to disturb him and tip toed out the door. I couldn’t believe that I had sex with him. I felt horrible. As if I had cheated on Miles. I know I have no reason to feel that was, given that Miles had broken it off with me for another women but I couldn’t help the way I felt. I loved Miles. I love Miles. I corrected my thoughts. Even if Miles didn’t love me back. Oh fuck! What have I done?

  I looked around the area to make
sure no one would see my naked body leaving the cottage where Cole now lived. I ran to the discarded blanket from last night that was still lying on the dock, covered myself with it and ran to my car.

  When I arrived home, I dashed up the stairs to take a shower. “Fuck, my phone.” I smacked my forehead. I had forgotten that it was now totally ruined. Anna must have freaked when I had left the party last night. I looked at the clock. It was ten in the morning. If I know her like I think I do, she will be arriving any minute.

  I took a quick shower and changed in just enough time to hear her breaks squealing in front of my house. I calmly made my way downstairs.

  Anna burst through the door. “Where the hell have you been? I’ve been trying to call you all fucking night!”

  I walked past her to the kitchen. I need coffee and I needed it now.

  “What happened?” She took a seat next to me as I explained last night, and this morning.

  “Have you been taking your pills?” She asked after I told her the story.

  “I don’t need those fucking pills anymore Anna.” I almost shouted at her. After I left Vegas, I dumped out my pills into the toilet. Did I need them? No. Was I stupid for tossing them? Yes because Anna was right, I needed them now.

  “Like hell you don’t! You fucked a crew member Thea! An employee, let’s just hope he doesn’t slap a lawsuit on your ass. Is he hot at least?” I laughed. Anna never quit.

  “Yes, I fucked him and no, he won’t sue, and most definitely yes on the hotness. Imagine Paul Walker, Anna. Cole could be his twin.”

  Anna’s eyes grew wide in disbelief. “Well in that case, I would welcome a lawsuit. So Alex huh? What an asshole. After you left, I could tell he was off but I didn’t think anything of it.”

  I took a sip of my coffee. Same old Alex, Anna was right, he is an asshole.

  “So what now Thea, are you dating Cole now?” Anna got up and opened the fridge, grabbing the bowl of fresh fruit.