Driven by Desire

by Ambrielle Kirk

  “We both went to Georgia Tech. Remember when I told you how difficult the first half of my freshman year was with being away from home for the first time and my grandmother being sick?” When he nodded, she continued, “Well, I was a complete loner. I kept to myself because I was drowning in my own issues. I took a chance one day and went out to a fraternity party. I met Zaira at said party and she convinced me to let go and have fun. It was months later when I found out who her father was. Had I known before that she came from old money with practically the world at her feet, I would have felt intimated by it and missed out on a true friend.”

  He laughed. “Frat parties…I remember those.”

  “Yeah, and I never was the same after one of those.”

  “Hmmm, were you one those girls?”

  “What do you mean by those girls?”

  “You know, played every brother you could, making him empty his wallets, toying with his heart, screwing with his emotions…”

  “Who? Not me.” She shook her head, laughing. “Did you just make that up…or are you claiming those things happened to you?”

  “Women can be mischievous when they want to…”

  She brought his arms tighter around her waist. “Well, do you think I’m capable of this mischievousness you speak of?”

  He kissed the side of her face, then trailed a few of them down her neck. “You might use my admission to your advantage.”

  Tanya shivered when his lips found an intimate spot against her nape. She pressed her behind back into his groin. “I’d like to use a lot more than your admission to my advantage.”

  “Mmmm.” He groaned lightly in her ear. “I—”

  “Well. Look at that.” A sharp female voice presented itself over them.

  Tanya followed the shadow of a woman standing over them. Her gaze traveled up lengthy bare legs the color of honey, too-tight booty shorts, and a flimsy top to finally reach a face. A face she didn’t recognize. A face that wore a nasty expression.

  “Marcus,” the woman said. “No wonder you haven’t been answering my calls.”

  Tanya’s heart twisted and she nearly bolted upright but Marcus’ arms were now tighter around her. She could practically feel the tension in his body and shock crackling in the air.

  “Becca,” Marcus said between clenched teeth.

  “How nice to see you,” Becca said in a clipped tone. “I haven’t been introduced to your new buddy.” She said the words buddy as if she was trying to rid her mouth of something bad tasting.

  Blood rushed through Tanya’s vein in alarm as her brain registered the real situation. She swallowed down the dry shock rising up in her throat.

  “What’s the point?” Marcus shot back.

  “The point?” Becca brought up her freshly manicured hands to her lips and giggled behind them. “No introduction…well, she must not mean that much to you. Just wanted to know a bit about who your new broad was.”

  With only seconds into this woman’s arrival Tanya had had enough. Plus, she knew exactly where this was going and had a hunch about who Becca was to Marcus.

  Shaking herself from Marcus’ grip, she shot up where she stood eye to eye with the woman named Becca. “Look, chick…right now I don’t want to know you or vice versa. Let’s keep it that way.”

  Tanya stormed off, heading toward the parking lot where they’d come. Eyes were glued to the scene caused by Becca’s appearance and people stopped doing what they were doing to observe the drama she wanted no part of.

  Just before she reached the lot, Marcus caught her arm. “Tanya, wait!”

  “No!” She snatched her arm from his grasp.

  “Listen to me.” He managed to pull her close to him. “She means nothing to me. I don’t know what possessed her to come here. I haven’t spoken with her in months.”

  Tanya swallowed hard. Why did she feel hurt? She and Marcus weren’t even in a serious relationship. As far as she was concerned, all they did was have sex, but why did this revelation break her heart?

  She pushed at his chest, but he stood there like a solid brick wall holding her hostage. “You could have told me you had a girlfriend.”

  “Girlfriend…no.” He shook his head. “You’ve got it all wrong. Do you think I would mess up what we have like that? Becca is my ex. It’s been nearly a year since I last saw her.”

  Tanya looked over his shoulder and caught glimpse of Marcus’ acquaintances glancing their way with wide eyes, whispering amongst each other. She knew they were talking about her and how stupid she was.

  “You’re causing a scene in front of your friends.”

  His grip softened. “Tanya, I don’t care what people think of me. I know what I want and I want you. I don’t give a damn about anything else.”

  She focused her gaze on him. “How do I know you’re not playing with me?”

  “We’ve not had much time together, Tanya. This has been my life ever since I can remember, but I’ve grown and now I value my time more. I won’t turn my back on my brothers, but I know a woman’s worth when I see it. Let me prove myself to you. Give me time. You mean so much to me.”

  “I can’t, Marcus.” She shook her head. “I’ve already dealt with men who can’t make up their minds and who like to test many waters at the expense of everyone’s feelings. I’m not dealing with it again. Let’s call it right here right now before it’s too late. We’ve already had our fun, now let’s just call it.”

  “Tanya…”

  She backed away. “I thought I wanted this with you. The thrill. The crazy life. This attraction that has somehow turned into full blown sexual frenzy, but—”

  “That’s not—”

  “—I was wrong. This…” She held out her arms. “…I’m not fit for this. I’m safer when things are normal.”

  Tanya dug into her handbag and pulled out her cell and keyed in some numbers.

  “I’ll take you home.”

  “No, I was just calling a cab.” The operator on the other end answer her call. “Yes, I’d like a ca—”

  Marcus had slipped the phone from her finger and disconnected the call. “Let me take you home.”

  Her blood started to boil. “Do you ever stop thinking about sex?”

  He exhaled on a huff. “That’s not what I meant, and you know that. I got you here. Let me take you back to your car at the shop.”

  Tanya searched his saddened expression. Was he sad because he’d made the mistake of lying to her or was he sad because he couldn’t get what he wanted—his cake and the buffet too?

  She held out her hand. “My phone.”

  He handed her the phone. “It’s getting late. It’s dark back at the shop. If you insist on calling a cab, I’ll ride behind it to make sure you arrive safely.”

  “I don’t want anything else to do with you and your drama, thus I’m not riding anywhere with you and I don’t want you coming anywhere behind me.”

  Before he could protest, Trent walked up behind them. “Everything okay here?”

  “Trent, man, what the fuck is wrong with that woman? She popped up unannounced and has just made a mess of things,” Marcus said, his voice sounded just as aggravated as hers.

  “I know, bro.” Trent shook his head. “That shit was dirty as hell.”

  “Do me a favor, Trent?” He motioned toward Tanya. “Give Tanya a ride back to the shop. Make sure she gets home safely.”

  “Sure thing.” Trent nodded, and then turned to acknowledge her. “Ready?”

  Tanya gave Marcus what she hoped was a deadly stare. She hoped he remembered it well, because after tonight, he wouldn’t get to see anymore of her. She had never felt so embarrassed and utterly used in all her life. Not even when Justin had ran out on her.

  “I’ll call you tonight,” Marcus said.

  “Please don’t,” she said, and went with Trent.

  “Here you go.” Trent handed her a helmet. “I take it that Marcus has given you the spiel on motorcycle safety tips when riding bitch.”<
br />
  “What!” She knew he didn’t just up and call her a bitch. What was wrong with these men? They seemed to turn etiquette on and off when it was convenient for them.

  He lifted an eyebrow at her, a serious expression on his face. “Riding bitch. A passenger on the back of a motorcycle.”

  She shook her head and probably would have burst out laughing at her blatant lack of knowledge if it weren’t for her apparent anger at Marcus. “You sure do have a way with words, Trent. And yes he did.”

  He got on the bike and helped her on the back, taking off after they both had on their helmets.

  Perhaps she’d overacted back there, but what was done was now done. After all, at any time Marcus could have told her that he’d just recently exited a relationship. She had. Why couldn’t he? Why would he need to anyway? They were just sex buddies. Nothing more…

  Thankfully the ride back to the motorcycle shop was short, but during the fifteen minutes or so she’d gotten the chance to cool down. There were no words exchanged as Trent escorted her to her car which still sat next to Marcus’ Hummer.

  “Tanya, look at me,” Trent said, leaning against the window frame of her car. “You good?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  “You need me to follow you home?”

  “Don’t, and it’s not necessary,” she said, slipping the gear into drive.

  “Hear me out okay?” Trent inquired, catching her off guard. “I know you’re mad at my brother. I would be, but that chick showed up out of the blue ready to cause trouble as she has done in the past. I knew, she knew, everyone knows that she and Marcus are done.”

  She sighed. “I’ll get over it. Marcus and I are just friends. No need to waste time with this talk.”

  “Friends, my ass,” Trent said. “He talks about you a lot, Tanya. The guy is infatuated with you. And by the way, according to what he’s been telling me he thinks of you as more than just a friend.”

  “That’s funny, because that’s not what we agreed on. I don’t need all this drama and it appears he has an abundance of it. I’ve got to go. It’s getting late and I for one have class in the morning and work in the afternoon.”

  “”I’ve not seen Marcus this happy in a long time. He’s made mistakes—and hell, we’ve all made mistakes. Give my brother a chance, Tanya,” he said, just before pushing off of the window frame.

  “Thank you for the ride, Trent.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Three days later…

  Tanya glanced down at her cell phone as the LCD screen flashed notifying her that she had a text message. She placed the phone on top of the notepad on the lap desk folded down over her thighs and read the message:

  Marcus: It’s been three days

  Tanya: Don’t you think I know that

  No matter how embarrassed she felt or angry that Marcus hadn’t shared such important details with her, she still couldn’t deny the fact that she missed the heck out of him.

  Marcus: I miss you. I want you. I need you. Can I see you?

  Tanya fidgeted in her seat, pretending to be engrossed in the instructor’s presentation. It was a lost cause with Marcus pursuing her by text messages now. She couldn’t bring herself to answer his calls or go anywhere near his building at lunch time with Zaira to prevent running into him. Every time they say each other, no matter where it was, they always ended up having sex.

  Tanya:No

  Marcus: I apologize for upsetting you. She was out of the picture. Don’t know why she showed up.

  Marcus: Come see me

  Tanya: No

  Marcus: Call me and let’s talk

  Tanya: I might

  Marcus: Are you in class or something?

  Tanya: In class

  Marcus: I’ll talk to you later then

  Her attention span waned after that. During the last thirty minutes of the class, her mind wondered from the professor’s lecture to Marcus Brooks.

  Why was she tempted to play with fire again?

  *

  As Tanya was beginning to pull out of her parking spot at the University, her cell phone rang. She figured it was Marcus being persistent and calling her prematurely, so she answered it without checking Caller ID.

  “Hi Marcus.”

  “Who is Marcus?”

  Tanya’s heart literally jumped out of her chest at the sound of Justin’s voice.

  “Justin?” She stopped the car short of backing up out of the parking spot and put the car in park.

  “Yeah, it’s me,” Justin said. “Jesus! I thought you’d changed numbers. Do you know how long I’ve been trying to reach you?”

  “Has it occurred to you that I didn’t want to be reached?”

  “Let me guess?” Justin chuckled nervously. “Have anything to do with Marcus?”

  “That’s none of your business.” She frowned. “What do you want?”

  “Well, for the past few months I’ve been calling and calling with no answer or reply. I’ve sent flowers to your apartment and your work and I receive no thank you. What do you think I want?”

  Her shoulders slumped and she rested her back against the car seat. “It’s too late, Justin. Your intentions were clear. You wanted a new life and a clean fresh slate—that’s what you said.”

  “I made a mistake, okay? I realized that I needed you more than I thought.”

  “So are you saying that you thought you wouldn’t need me at all? That’s funny,” she said, with a hint of snark in her voice.

  “Tanya, I am so serious about this. Why haven’t you taken my calls?”

  “I don’t like playing games, Justin. You know this,” she said.

  “I’m not playing, alright. I made a mistake and I’m fessing up to it,” he replied. “I sent a FedEx package to your door last week. Did you receive it?”

  “I did.” She shrugged. “But I didn’t open it. I meant to send it back. I don’t have time for Dear Jane letters after the fact.”

  “It’s not a Dear Jane letter,” he said. “They were plane tickets.”

  “Tickets for what?”

  “I want you to come see me in New York. And…possibly stay.”

  Tanya gasped, her fingers suddenly slipping on the phone. “You…what?”

  “My move to New York will be permanent, but I want you back in my life.”

  “No.” She shook her head. This couldn’t be happened. It had been almost a year and now he entertains the notion of her joining him in New York. “It’s too late, Justin. I’ve moved on. I’m sorry that I hadn’t picked up the phone earlier and called you, but I thought it would be better if we just didn’t talk at all. You really disappointed me.”

  “I know, but don’t say it’s too late. It’s not.” He actually sounded hurt by her admission.

  “I’m afraid it is. The truth is that I’ve moved on,” she said. “You started your clean, fresh slate, and so did I.”

  “Marcus? Is that his name?”

  Tanya swallowed. “I’m sorry, Justin. I wish you well with your new job.” She disconnected the call.

  ***

  “This is too surreal,” Zaira said on the other end of the line. “He waits over six months to send you a plane ticket? Foolery, I say.”

  “I couldn’t believe it.”

  Tanya had called her best friend as soon as she got home. She folded her legs under her on the bed and took another swig of wine.

  “I’ll be returning those tickets to the post office unopened tomorrow,” she said.

  “Good for you. I can’t imagine what changed his mind,” Zaira replied. “Wait…does he know about you and Marcus.”

  “No…” Tanya thought back to her blip when she answered the phone. “Not really.” She sighed. “And Marcus and I aren’t really on speaking terms either.”

  “Girl…what the hell? What’s up with you and these men? What happened?”

  “One question at a time. Look, I got a glimpse of what kind of drama I might have to deal with if Marcus and I moved fo
rward with our relationship.”

  “Well, do you want excitement and sometimes a bit of drama or the drab life? I mean, really, you said you were ready to move on with your life.”

  “Let me finish…one of his old girlfriends showed up at that BBQ he invited me to and caused a scene in front of everyone. That sounds like a load of drama to me”

  “No way! But really, you know who Marcus is…the kind of women he attracts…how could you not know that he comes with drama?”

  “Whatever.” Tanya was getting quite aggravated with Zaira. “Whose side are you on? I didn’t know who he was before we…”

  “Before you fucked him in Ocho Rios, go ahead and say it.” Zaira sighed on the other end. “Oh, the mess…you need to call Marcus back, I’m sure it was all a misunderstanding.”

  “I’m not. I’ve told him I wasn’t ready for that life. I meant what I said.”

  “You are so stubborn,” she huffed. “It’s no wonder Marcus has had an attitude all week. I mean was it that bad…did home girl show up and try to throw down with you?”

  “No. From her reactions though I would say that she still has the hots for Marcus and—”

  “Who wouldn’t? Dude is fuckin’ hot as hell. He hasn’t gone back with her, has he?”

  “He went on this spiel about how he only wanted me. I just didn’t want to hear it. I was beyond shocked about her showing up to even process it. His brother took me home.”

  “Which brother?”

  “Trent. The one that came to the wedding with him.”

  “Oh.” There was a moment of silence. “Did you go home with Trent or something?”

  “No.”

  “Fuck him?”

  “No! Absolutely not!” Tanya smacked her palm to her forearm. “I’m surrounded by people who think everything is about sex.”

  “That’s so not true.”

  “How do you know Trent anyway?”

  “From around the way,” Zaira replied. “And we’re talking about you. Marcus is a good guy from what I know about him. I think you should really drop the independent woman attitude, get your shit together, and go collect your man.”