Coffee, Cream and Curry

by Judy Powell

  “Make up your mind. Do you like to party or don’t you?” Stephanie sat down on her bed by the window, tucked her feet underneath her, and stared openly at Princess as she struggled to unlock her suitcase.

  Princess fiddled with the lock a while longer then said, “I don’t know. I haven’t been out much…but I love to dance.”

  Stephanie laughed. “Poor thing. You must be like I was a semester ago.” Her mouth opened wide in a yawn, and she stretched thin arms over her head. “When I got here in September I was so uncool - never smoked a cig, never had a drink in my life! But I got into the hang of things real soon. Don’t worry, Princess, I’ll have you partying in no time.”

  “Uh, thanks,” Princess replied, feeling doubtful.

  “Here, let me help you with that!” Stephanie jumped off the bed and went to kneel beside Princess. She grabbed the lock from her hand and jiggled the key until the lock popped open.

  “There!” she cried, triumphant. “Got it.”

  “Th…thanks,” said Princess, still surprised and relieved at how friendly her room-mate had turned out to be. Maybe things would not be so bad, after all.

  ******

  Princess sat at a table in the corner watching the other students on the dance floor. Stephanie was dancing with her boyfriend. She had finally convinced Princess to come to the party although she had been very hesitant. Princess was still very shy and felt out of her league. She had been in America for three months now but she still found it difficult to make new friends. Everyone here was so different from what she was used to. She was from a small town in Jamaica and although this college was small by American standards, she still felt like she did not match up to these people who were far more sophisticated than she.

  Also, she had already gained twelve pounds since she had been here. She had discovered pancakes and eggs and loved them so much that she ate them every morning for breakfast. She had already been a little plump when she left Jamaica three months ago but now her five feet six inch frame had to carry almost one hundred and sixty pounds.

  She had always been self-conscious about her weight but now it was even worse. She felt huge whenever she and her petite room-mate went out together. What made it worse, Stephanie always looked so pretty with her fancy clothes and perfect make-up. No matter how Princess tried, she could never fix her hair and face as nicely as her friend.

  Tonight, she was wearing a simple black dress and black pumps. Her only accessories were a gold chain and gold hoop earrings. She had also applied a little make-up. She sat in the semi darkness sipping a glass of iced tea, watching the students bobbing up and down on the dance floor.

  “Want to dance?”

  Princess looked up to see a young white man standing over her, grinning. Her heart fell. She had been hoping to disappear into the shadows, unnoticed.

  “Me? I can’t dance.”

  “Sure, you can. I heard you were from Jamaica. I don’t know any Jamaican who doesn’t know how to dance.”

  Princess only looked down at her hands, wishing the boy would just go away.

  “Come on,” he prodded, “you only live once.”

  When he just stood there, looking like he was never going to move, she rose and said softly, “Okay, I’ll give it a try.”

  To Princess’s surprise she found that she enjoyed being on the dance floor. Music pounded in her ears, disco lights flashed, and for the while she actually felt that she could dance. David seemed oblivious to her as he twisted his body and flailed his arms. He did not try to hold her. He was not even looking at her. But at least he was there in front of her, twisting and bobbing and making her feel like she was a part of this crazy, happy party scene.

  It was not until about thirty minutes later when the music slowed and the lights dimmed that her partner took her arm and lead her back to his table. Two blonde girls were already sitting there and they greeted him with friendly waves and smiles.

  David pulled out a chair for Princess then said, “Hey, guys, this is Princess, all the way from Jamaica, mon!”

  The girls giggled at his funny attempt at a Jamaican accent.

  “Princess, meet Brittany and Ashley.”

  The girls smiled in greeting and Princess began to relax with the strangers. It was difficult to speak with the music playing but she did not mind. She just sat there, sipping her drink and rocking her body gently to the soft music. David kept smiling at her, and so did the girls, and Princess revelled in her new-found friendships.

  It was not until the following week that Princess realized what a fool she had been. It had all been a big joke - on her! The rumours must have started circulating almost immediately but, loner that she was, Princess did not get wind of it until that Tuesday evening when she was working in the college library.

  As she sat typing labels for the stack of books in front of her, a tall black girl strode up to her. “I hope you learned your lesson.”

  Princess looked up at her, confused. “What lesson?”

  The girl glared at her for a moment then her anger seemed to lift and she shook her head slowly. “You really don’t know, do you?”

  “Know what?” Princess was getting even more confused.

  “It’s all over the school…that David won the bet when he spent the whole evening dancing with ‘Miss Piggy’.

  Princess felt like she had just been slapped in the face.

  The girl continued. “Two cheerleaders dared David to dance with the ugliest girl in the room and they decided that with your big body and fat nose, you were it.”

  Princess felt faint. She felt the blood rise to her face and her heart slowed in anguish.

  As the girl watched her reaction she must have realized how devastating this revelation was to Princess. Her face softened and she said gently, “You should have guessed something was fishy when one of the most popular boys in the school asked you to dance. It’s not as if he doesn’t have all kinds of girls running after him.”

  Princess had heard enough. Without another word she got up from the computer and walked away.

  Back in her room a tear ran down her cheek as she sat looking at herself in the mirror. Her usually golden skin had become paler with the winter weather. Her thick, wavy hair was loose and fell to the middle of her back. Curls framed her heart-shaped face. Her dark brown eyes were fringed with thick black lashes, and her lips were a naturally rosy pink. Altogether, not a bad looking face, she thought, except for that curse of a pug nose.

  Princess bemoaned the fact that, of all the things she could have inherited from her mother, it was her nose that she got. She was often called ‘the spitting image’ of her father - except for the nose that vividly displayed her African blood.

  And then there was the problem with her weight. Neither her mother nor her father was fat but she had learned that her long-dead paternal grandmother had been a short, fat Indian woman. Of course, she would have had to take after that grandparent, wouldn’t she?

  With a hiccup she wiped her eyes and resolved never to leave her room again except when absolutely necessary.

  Princess knew that everyone around her noticed the difference in her demeanour, but especially Stephanie. She became cold and withdrawn but she had no apologies. So they wanted a reason to dislike her? Well, she would give it to them.

  The more withdrawn Princess became the better she did in her school work. Every moment alone was spent studying so that she was soon making straight A’s in all her classes. Her greatest satisfaction came when her teachers praised her publicly for scoring the highest in her tests. She was the top student in every class she took.

  I may not be beautiful, she thought, but I’m going to show them I’m one of the smartest students on campus. None of them, she decided, not the stupid cheerleaders, not David, not his stupid friends, would get a higher GPA than she would.

  Princess’s hard work paid off. By the end of the semester she had earned the respect of her classmates on the small campus. Her proudest moment was when
she was awarded the Ethan Gregory Smith award for excellence in academics. She was the first foreigner at the school to ever receive this award and she was ecstatic.

  But, to Princess’s dismay, the recognition brought challenges she never dreamed of. She was surprised when the lecturer in Communications called her into his office and asked, “How would you like to head the school’s debating team?”

  “Me?” she squeaked. “Why me?”

  “Why not you?” he parried, and smiled at her. “You’re our best student in speech and communications and we want only the best to lead the team. Will you do it?”

  “I don’t know, Dr. Sloan. What if they don’t listen to me? What if they don’t like me?” Her voice rose sharply. “I can’t do it. They hate me.”

  “Calm down, Princess. Nobody hates you.”

  “They do.”

  “What’s wrong? Is there something you would like to tell me?” The concern was evident on Dr. Sloan’s face. “Why are you getting so emotional about this?”

  “They…they think I’m ugly,” Princess said in a low voice as she stared at the floor, “and they all hate me for it.”

  “Have a seat, Princess.” Dr Sloan rose and pulled out a chair. “We need to talk.”

  At Donald Sloan’s prodding, Princess described the terrible humiliation she had experienced at the hands of her college mates.

  The man’s face turned grim. Then he spoke. “Listen to me. You are one of the most well known, well respected students on this campus. You are destined to go far, to be a leader. None of the people you mentioned has achieved half of what you’ve done. Don’t you ever let anyone take away your fire, and don’t let any halfwit tell you you’re not beautiful.”

  He folded his arms across his chest and looked at her with serious eyes. “Princess, you have to stop comparing yourself to others. If you spend your life comparing you will always find people who are more beautiful than you, and you will find people who are less beautiful. You’ll also find people who are more intelligent than you are and others who are less intelligent. You just need to make sure that you are the best Princess Ramjeet that you can be. The world will thank you for it, and you will thank yourself.”

  Princess sat there, her eyes still downcast. What her teacher was saying made sense to her but it still did not lessen the pain of being ridiculed.

  When she remained silent Dr. Sloan continued. “Before you can fulfill your true potential you have to learn to love yourself, Princess. Don’t let anyone short-circuit you now.”

  Princess lifted her eyes to the man’s rugged face and nodded slowly. He looked so concerned that she gave him a weak smile. “Thanks, Dr. Sloan. I’ll…I’ll try to be strong.”

  As she rose to leave he walked over to the door and held it open for her. “Remember what I said. You can’t truly love anyone else unless you first love yourself. Go find your beauty.”

  The next semester flew by for Princess. She was determined not to disappoint her mentor. Swallowing her fear she selected her team and began to prepare. Her days were full and long. Heading the debating team was one of the best things that could have happened to her. St. Richard’s College became number one in New York State and she was known in several college circles.

  She had become so busy that her daily diet of pancakes and eggs became a thing of the past. All she had time to do was grab an apple on her way to classes in the mornings. Without her realizing it, she lost almost twenty pounds. She no longer stared miserably at herself in the mirror. She did not have the time. She was too busy debating, working on campus, keeping her grades high and participating in all the new activities she had signed up for.

  In addition to all that Princess was registered with the college as a tutor of

  English, Spanish and Calculus. She had to be present in the tutoring room every Tuesday and Thursday evening from five to seven, making herself available to any student who came in for help with these subjects.

  One evening she sat reading in the tutoring room, waiting to see if anyone would show up. Just half an hour before the session was scheduled to end a thin girl entered the room, wearing dark glasses.

  Princess greeted her warmly. “Hi. What can I help you with?”

  She pointed to the chair and indicated to the visitor that she should have a seat. Although she had received no verbal response Princess continued to smile then said, “First time I’ve seen you here. I’m Princess, and you are?”

  “Ashley…Ashley Stewart.”

  “So, Ashley, which subject would you like to work on?”

  The girl remained oddly silent and Princess began to wonder if something was wrong with her. Then she took off her dark glasses. Princess sucked in her breath as she looked into the sunken eyes of the girl who had so cruelly humiliated her over a year ago.

  One look was all Princess needed to realize that the girl was anorexic. Her face was so thin her cheekbones protruded, and the shadows around her eyes made her look like a ghost. Princess saw thin wrists protruding from the cuffs of her shirt. The girl’s sweater hung from her almost fleshless frame.

  “Ashley…what happened?” Princess was so shocked at the girl’s transformation that she didn’t know what else to say.

  “Don’t you worry about me,” Ashley snarled, “I’m only here because my college advisor said it’s mandatory. I need to get my English grades up.”

  Princess pursed her lips, taken aback by the girl’s aggressiveness. She could have an attitude, too. After all, she was the one who had been hurt by the dirty prank played by Ashley and her shallow friends. But then, what was the use? It was water under the bridge now.

  “Well, okay,” she said casually, “let’s get started.”

  That evening was the start of a month of sessions with Ashley and the formation of a relationship of sorts between the two. To Princess’ own surprise she ended up offering not only tutoring services to the young woman but also advice.

  It turned out that, beneath the surface, Ashley was just as insecure as she used to be. After a few sessions Ashley began to open up to Princess and finally revealed her pain at never being able to live up to her parents’ high standards. Her father was a successful attorney and her mother, a theatre actress, and she worried that she would never be as successful, or famous, or as beautiful as they expected her to be. She hated being an only child. There was just too much pressure on her to be perfect. She was never good enough. Now she was beginning to hate going home to see her parents.

  Ashley’s distress was so great that Princess felt sorry for her. She wished she could do something to help her. One evening, as they were going over one of Ashley’s essays, Princess decided to share with her the most important lesson she had learned in life so far.

  She took the paper from the other girl’s hand and began to speak. “Ashley, I know how you can finally be happy.”

  Ashley looked at her expectantly but said nothing.

  When she remained silent Princess pressed on. “You have to stop trying to prove your worth to your parents. Stop comparing yourself to them and love yourself instead.” She took Ashley’s hand in hers.

  “You have to learn to love yourself before you can truly love anyone else…”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  2002

  “Christian!”

  Before he could react Christian felt a sharp slap on his back and as he turned he saw his friend Robert’s grinning face.

  “What up?” Christian grinned back at him.

  “Nothing much. Where you going now?”

  “The library. Remember that homework that Mrs. Brown gave us for next term? I want to start looking at it from now.”

  “Bwoy, you goody-goody, eh? Why you starting on that so early?”

  “Maybe it’s because I don’t know what the heck I’m going to write about. Jamaican heritage? I don’t know anything about that. I’m going to see if I can get some ideas at the library. What you going to do your project on?”

  “Karate!”

>   “Be serious. What karate have to do with Jamaican heritage?”

  “Well, I can talk about how I karate a man at the Independence Festival.”

  “Stop you noise,” Christian said, laughing. “You too fool-fool sometimes.”

  Robert fell into step with Christian and they both trod along the dusty road towards the local library. They had been friends since the second grade of primary school. They were nothing alike. Where Christian was dark and slim, Robert was light-skinned and stocky. Christian wore glasses and tended to be more reserved. Robert, on the other hand, was always jovial, loud, and funny. They were the perfect complement for each other.

  “Christian, you saw the latest Jackie Chan movie?”

  “No. You know my mother won’t let me go to the movies.”

  “Bwoy you salt, eeh man? You don’t know what you missing.”

  “Yeah, yeah. So what’s so great about this movie?”

  “It just bad! Nuff action and kicking and stuff like that. And nuff jokes, too.” Robert paused then looked at Christian. “How come your last name is Lee and you don’t even like karate? You’re a disgrace to your name. You could be Bruce Lee’s cousin, for all you know.”

  Christian laughed. “I doubt it.”

  Robert gave Christian a shove then dashed off ahead of him. Christian ran after him, howling a Red Indian war cry as he went.

  It was almost six o’clock before they left the library that evening. They would have to walk a quarter of a mile to get to the bus stop but they did not mind. Sitting at the desk in the library, poring over books for hours, had taken its toll. They were tired of it and needed some physical activity.

  As they walked Robert kept up a running commentary about the Jackie Chan movie. He demonstrated his King Fu moves and even tried one or two blows on Christian who sidestepped them then ran at him, trying a few moves of his own. They jostled each other as they walked, pretending not to see the glares of the adults who watched their childish play as they walked along the road.