Sapphic Cowboi

by K'Anne Meinel

  “Our Maggie is having a good time” a couple of the roustabouts commented. Everyone really was having a nice time at the fandango as Irish reels, Scottish jigs, and a host of other Americanized songs and dances were played by a live band. When they began to play Spanish music though Maggie’s partner declined the dance and she was soon being shown the steps by an inventive and avid partner of Mexican heritage. She smiled and laughed at his extravagant compliments but when his hands strayed a little too suggestively she surprised him with the strength of her own hands as she slapped him and hard. At least they had both been discrete, him in his groping, and her in her turning down of his overture. If anyone noticed his red cheek they didn’t say anything and his ego wasn’t harmed. In fact he was flattered that she was so insulted and laughed it off even though he thought she slapped like a mule kick.

  The Spanish music intrigued Ariana though and she leaned in to Maggie to suggest they add it to their act; she could dress like a Mexican dancer as they had seen many of the guests dressed so. Maggie nodded and thought of how pretty Ariana would look in one of the dresses and perched on one of her blacks, a nice contrast. Her own tux and tails would be a nice accompaniment to it.

  The circus people went back to the circus set up together where people who hadn’t wanted to go, children too young, some performers too old had held down the fort and guarded their livelihoods. “That was quite a party eh?” was heard over and over again as they discussed the night and the people they had met.

  Ariana and Maggie both had guest rooms at the ranch and were up early in their normal shirts and dungarees to take care of the blacks and get them ready to head back to the circus to perform. They had lots of unanticipated help but the cowboys and stockmen on the ranch couldn’t seem to help themselves seeing two such lovely women in pants and they helped ready the horses. Maggie was amused, her horses didn’t need getting ready, she packed her bag, mounted Sampson and now with a second newer saddle that Maggie had won, Ariana was mounted as well. Neither rode side-saddle and they thundered down the road with the herd of blacks jostling each other to keep up and enjoying every minute of it being watched with awe by the cowboys and stockmen.

  Both women had no idea of how beautiful they looked or how many admiring glances they had received at the party or in the time they had spent on the ranch. They had both received outrageous proposals of marriage in an area where women were scarce and lovely women such as themselves even more scarce. Cruel conditions, bad weather, and loneliness aged most women out here. The entertainment that the circus offered was a highlight to many and people came from miles around to see the shows and side shows.

  They were all saddened to leave and head to their next show destination. They were slowly making their way back through the south. Maggie intended to head down to her farm and spend the ‘off months’ with her horses. The others would go on to their winter destination in Florida, resting and relaxing until late spring when they would start again in the Eastern states and work their way across the United States as they had each year for twenty five years.

  Remembering the Spanish dances Ariana and Maggie incorporated a little one into their act on the horses. The showgirls helped them make the dances perfect and Ariana in an altered Spanish costume make out of wine colored silk and Maggie in black trousers with a blue silk button down blouse under a short bolero jacket that she whipped off as well as a cape with an inner red lining used to pretend that the horses were actually bulls made a striking contrast and an interesting show to their audiences. Maggie people were always unsure if she was a man or woman, her pretty face, but short hair made some uncomfortable but the outfits she wore made many of them think she was a man. She didn’t care; she was having fun dancing with her horses and with Ariana who looked breathtaking and totally effeminate in her gown. The dances got very heated and the horses’ tricks and costumes more elaborate. They now had trunks of accessories for them.

  After one particularly grueling dance where Maggie basically threw Ariana onto a horse who then danced on the backs of not one but several of the running horses, they both were perspiring from their efforts where Maggie used her cape to ‘hold off’ the stampeding herd, it was then as Ariana ‘fell’ into her arms that Maggie nearly kissed her for the first time. They were both aware of the moment, both saw the look in each other’s eyes, both knew if there weren’t hundreds of spectators what would have happened, then and there. The moment was lost as the music altered and the horses drew their attention back to what they were supposed to be doing, performing and Maggie twirled Ariana back who then bounded effortlessly onto the back of one of the horses and Maggie onto another as they thundered around the center ring and out the main doors to deafening applause.

  “Well, we have come full circle here” Cecil told Maggie as they set up in Jackson. After this three day show Maggie would be heading south for a few months until they started up again in the spring.

  Maggie smiled, showing off her even and white teeth and her pretty face. “I’ve enjoyed most of it Cecil and I thank you for the opportunity.” She had made a lot of friends, earned real money, and learned a lot.

  “You’re coming back aren’t you?” he fretted.

  She laughed, “of course I am, I couldn’t give this up” her arms spread to encompass the massive tent going up not far from where she had put up her temporary corral as well as the other tents going up for the many side shows.

  He smiled, it got into your blood, it was a fever, and the benefits of having such a unique family were nothing to sneeze at. He saw the friends she had made and the back country girl he had met so many months before was no more. She was growing up. He had seen what happened between her and Ariana and while he didn’t understand it, he didn’t disapprove. They were both beautiful women and deserved their happiness. He didn’t think either had acted on it but he wondered if he would really know if they had. It was none of anyone’s business.

  “Golly Magdalena!” Peter drawled deliberately sounding like he was right off the cotton field.

  “Magdalena?” Ariana asked with an eyebrow raised.

  Maggie grinned as she hugged her longtime friend and neighbor. “Well Mama wanted an impressive name and Daddy shortened it” she explained. Few people knew her real name and she hadn’t minded that. “How are my babies?” she asked as she pulled back from giving Peter a bear hug.

  Ariana’s heart was suddenly in her throat. Maggie had never said she had babies but the easy affection between her and this ‘neighbor’ suddenly made her wonder if they were actually married. But in all their friendly chats, Maggie had never once mentioned being married.

  “Oh they miss you and this fella too” he nudged Feathers with his knee who was standing on his hind legs to get some attention from someone he knew well.

  Maggie stepped back from Peter’s embrace. “This is my good friend Ariana; she performs with me and the horses.”

  “How do ma’am” he said politely, bowing slightly and putting his hand to his head to tug at his forelock.

  Ariana was amused, it was so ‘country’ and yet so endearing. Peter was a strong built man, tall, and obviously a farmer by the way he was dressed. Maggie had told her that he was coming to see the circus as well as half the town had emptied from the people she could see and recognize. They all knew her and wanted to see their hometown girl and what she had done with her horses.

  “I won’t keep you but I wanted to say hello before half the town came over” he said with a slight blushing grin.

  “Who’s watching my babies?” she asked suspiciously in mock concern her hands on her hips.

  “I got responsible adults watching your place and mine!” he returned in equally mock concern tones.

  She laughed, she knew he would have planned it out so he could see the carnival and circus and return home the next day. This was the final day of the show, she had seen the ‘town’ arrive en masse, country folks with their eyes wide, and not much different to other dozens of shows and
towns they had done before. The only difference was these were her people, they knew her, had come not just to see the show but to see her. Time and time again that last day people greeted her by name and she introduced her friend Ariana.

  “These are really nice friends” Ariana commented wondering if Maggie would indeed come back after her winter break from the circus. The thought of losing her when she had only just found her caused her to have trouble breathing.

  “They are, I didn’t realize how much I appreciated them until I went away” Maggie said with a grin. She waved at Mrs. Baxter who was waving madly at her. She had been smiling a lot today, not only the people whom she knew and loved were here but this would be her last show for a while and she would be going home tomorrow. Her personal gear was packed and ready to go, she had a lot more than the two bags and a saddle she had arrived with and was grateful she had the horses to cart it home for her. The ornaments, the gear, and the fencing would all go on with circus without her. They had a couple more shows before they ended in Florida for the season. They would do without the horse act that had brought Maggie to them.

  “I’ll miss you” Ariana told her quietly as they began to get ready for their final performances. They had broken it up into three distinct acts. With the addition of the Spanish dancer act they had to do quick changes and a couple of the circus people were standing by with their other costumes.

  “I’ll be back” Maggie assured her smiling and reaching over impulsively she gave Ariana’s hand a squeeze.

  Ariana wanted more than that. She had never allowed herself to act on her feelings. Others realized from the longing looks she had thrown Maggie’s way but she was certain, absolutely sure that Maggie had no idea of her feelings for her, the affection for her, or the love. She didn’t want to destroy their friendship and she would love from afar if that was all she had, she couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing Maggie again though.

  The townspeople who had come up to Jackson for the circus and shows were awed to see Maggie, their Maggie performing with her horses. At one time or another everyone had seen her with her horses, but not like this, not with feathers, and sparkles, her in a tuxedo and later slacks and a blue button down blouse with a cummerbund making her waist look very thin dancing with a lovely woman over, around, and on the backs of her black beasts. They were awed, they were excited, and they clapped appreciatively over and over during each of the three acts with their Maggie in them. It was a show worth seeing and all were glad that they made the trip.

  Maggie was laughing, catching her breath before slipping into her tent to change and pack up the last time. She had to see to her horses first though and the questions, the endless questions that people asked after each show, wanting to prolong the excitement, feel it all one more time, perhaps to touch the pretty horses, talking with her and Ariana about it all. The two of them shared more than one glance, for one it was about gathering memories, possibly last memories, for the other it was about sharing the excitement of a good show and enjoying the possibilities that were out there for them.

  It took hours to answer the questions, stow all the accessories of the horses and brush them down before Maggie had a chance to change into more casual attire and brush down her own costumes, something she did meticulously each night since she had been given them. Only after a couple of shows had passed would she carefully wash them and hang them to dry. Fine clothing such as the ones she wore in the show required better care than her casual hard working clothes. She was meticulous in its care, part of her job she felt.

  “I’m going to miss you!” Ariana said as she watched Maggie saddle up Sampson and Ashes and put her things on a couple of the others. She had a lot more she had bet or bought than what she had brought with her.

  Maggie looked at her and tried not to look sad. Her first female friend and she would miss her desperately. “I’ll be back for the next season” she assured her.

  “Yeah but that’s months away, how about you write me where we are in Florida?” Ariana suggested and saw the stricken look on Maggie’s face at the question.

  “Um well, if I find the time” Maggie hedged, not comfortable with a lie “I have to see what’s going on at my farm and all.” She turned back to her gear loading up the last of it as she tied the horses together for the trip.

  Ariana wasn’t sure what that meant ‘if she had the time?’ but it bothered her. They were close, perhaps not in the way that Ariana wanted it but they were close of that she was certain. She didn’t want to dwell on it though or leave off angry when Maggie was just going.

  Maggie initiated a hug goodbye and Ariana was surprised at that but welcomed it, perhaps hugging Maggie back a little bit harder than she had expected but it was heartfelt. She would miss her, she already dreamed of her.

  Others stopped to say goodbye, Perry got another hug, others handshakes and nice words. Maggie mounted up and headed out nodding to Carlton and stopping so Cecil could give her the last pay she had coming from last night’s show. “See you next spring” as he assured her with a smile, in the pay envelope was next year’s contract and he added “send me the signed contract.” Maggie nodded in answer as she rode away with waves behind her and good wishes.

  “That’s a good kid” Carl clapped his hand on his son’s shoulder pleased with the act he had brought in.

  “Yes she is a good kid” Cecil agreed looking thoughtfully at the figure of Ariana following along on the other side of the tents to get a last glimpse of Maggie as she left.

  Others from town were traveling along the same roads as Maggie so she didn’t travel alone. They welcomed her back and talked to her about the show they had seen and what a fine job she had done. Children were admiring and talking about being like her when they grew up and she got several offers to help with her horses when she got home, the children she welcomed as she felt that in the next generation many would lose the hands on horses with the coming of cars and trucks and trains. She rode along in silence unless someone addressed her as her thoughts about her circus family and particularly Ariana drifted through her mind. Riding was a great time to think and muss over her dreams and aspirations. She loved Ariana; she knew that, she also knew the attraction went beyond the friendship they had developed. It had taken her depression and subsequent ‘baptism’ in the Pacific for her to realize it was not to be. Women didn’t love other women; she wasn’t going to have that happily ever after with another woman. It didn’t work like that in this day and age and she didn’t even know what women did with other women. She just knew she liked being with Ariana, she dreamed of kissing her, but beyond that she didn’t know and would never know. She looked forward to seeing her again in the spring when the show circuit started again. She had panicked at the thought of writing her as she didn’t wish to reveal she didn’t know how to write beyond her name, she couldn’t read either and she was ashamed of this.

  Her thoughts were very similar to Ariana’s as she helped pack up the circus for another trip to another town all heading back to Florida for the season. She wasn’t enthusiastic but did her share since she wasn’t helping Maggie with her horses. She did however drive the wagon that had Maggie’s gear to the train and make sure it all got stored properly for next season. She lovingly packed the trunks away in the box car as she carried the memories of the last months in her mind. Maggie would be back, she had promised.

  Maggie made it back in one day, perhaps because she was rushing and perhaps it was that the horses all increased their pace when they realized they were in familiar territory and heading home. It helped to be on the main road and not the back roads that wound around the hills. Home, such a lovely word. The sound of greetings from the horses that were left on the farm were welcomes to both woman and beast. Filly, the mate of Feathers greeted them with welcome barks. She couldn’t release her horse’s quick enough from their small burdens before they yanked against their ropes to go out into their fields, greet their friends, who stuck their heads out of the barn and w
hinnied in joy. Maggie got all of her horses out there, releasing the ones from the barn, one at a time as she greeted them until her entire herd except for a few that were still over at Peters was out in the fields. A lot of horsey greeting was going on, pecking orders re-established, even her stallion Perseus had to dominate the field and show off that he was king, and he was king from what she could see of the horses she had left behind, she had new foals to get to know and she wondered at the horses that were missing and over at Peter’s. She wondered if there were more foals or something was wrong, she was certain he would have told her up at the circus if something was amiss. She hadn’t been around these new foals from birth and for the first time in all her years on the farm she didn’t regret it, living and working with the circus had taught her a lot and provided them with necessary cash.

  She was over at Peter’s the next morning, early but he laughed having known she wouldn’t wait long to see what he was holding at her place. He had three mares with four foals waiting for her, the last, twins was almost unheard of and dangerous for a mare to have, they or the foals had been known to die but these two weren’t foundering; they were mischievous and full of themselves, definitely part of her herd of showoff’s.

  “Oh Peter, thank you” she said heartfelt as she gathered the two foals into her arms under the suspiciously watchful eyes of the mare. The mare knew her Maggie but it had been awhile since she had seen her and these were her babies too.

  “Yes, it scared me when I realized there were two, you’d have skinned me alive if something happened to them” he joked and then wondered how far off he really was from the idea.

  “I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done” she said as she watched them cavort off with their mother.