Just a Little Sex... (Blaze, 9)

by Miranda Lee

  Neither did she want to get maudlin over the fact she’d fallen in love with the wrong man. Again.

  She’d known what she was getting herself into here. She’d gone into it with her eyes well and truly open. Zoe had no one to blame but herself.

  She rang Betty next.

  Betty answered on the second ring.

  “Betty, it’s Zoe. I’m sorry I haven’t called back sooner. I had my cell phone turned off and I’ve only just looked at my messages. What’s up? Dad okay?”

  “Is your dad okay, she says,” Betty replied with a happy lilt in her voice. “I’ll say he is. You’re never going to believe this.”

  “He’s sold the farm?”

  “What? Oh, yes, he’s going to do that, too. But that’ll take time. That’s not why I’ve rung.”

  “So what else has Dad done?” As if she didn’t know. He must have told Betty he loved her.

  “Well, on Monday he made me take him into Moss Vale, crutches and all, and have his hair cut. And then he dragged me into the trendiest menswear shop in town and asked me to choose some new clothes for him. And then…oh, you’re not going to believe this! Then, over lunch, he asked me to marry him.”

  “What?” Zoe was shocked. She’d thought he was going to wait awhile before he proposed. “So what did you say?”

  “I said yes, of course. I’ve been in love with your dad for ages.”

  “You have?”

  “There’s no need to sound so surprised, missy. Your dad’s a good-looking man for his age. You could have knocked me over with a feather when he said he’d been in love with me for ages.”

  “Now, there’s no need for you to sound so surprised, Betty. You’re a very good-looking woman. For any age.”

  “Oh, go on with you. I’m too tall, and too skinny and I have the most awful-colored hair.”

  “I’ll have you know that my dad thinks you’re so beautiful and so special that he didn’t dare ask you to marry him before. He was sure you’d say no.”

  “He said that?”

  “He did, indeed.”

  “Oh…” For the first time in her life, Zoe reckoned, Betty was speechless. But now Zoe knew the truth over why Betty had never married. Because of low physical self-esteem. All the time she’d been helping Zoe to look better, Betty had probably believed her own looks were a lost cause.

  “That is the best news I’ve had in simply ages,” Zoe said. “I’m so happy for you both. Tell Dad I’m proud of him.”

  “Tell him yourself. Bill?” she called out. “Bill, it’s Zoe on the phone. She wants to talk to you.”

  “Zoe.”

  “Hi there, Dad.”

  “I did it.”

  “You certainly did. I’m very proud of you.”

  “I’m pretty proud of myself. I was going to wait ‘til I lost some weight but I decided not to. Life’s too short. But I’ve started watching my diet already, and I’ll get right into some proper exercise once I get this plaster off my ankle. Meanwhile, I’m selling the farm and organizing a wedding.”

  “And when do you think the wedding will be?”

  “As soon as we can arrange it. Betty’s never been married and I thought she’d like a nice church wedding. What do you think?”

  “I think that’s sweet.” Suddenly, tears filled Zoe’s eyes.

  There’d be no nice church wedding for her with the man she loved. No wedding of any kind.

  “You’ll tell Aiden?” her father said.

  “Tell who what?” Her thoughts had left her distracted.

  “Did I get it wrong? I thought you’d gone away for a few days with Aiden. He’d said you were.”

  Any tears quickly dried up, replaced by annoyance. “Did he now? Well, he had no right to do that.”

  “Why not? Anyone could see you’re crazy about each other. I don’t know why you thought you had to pretend you weren’t. I’m no fool, Zoe. I know you and Aiden are more than just good friends. I just want you to know that I heartily approve.”

  “You approve of my sleeping with Aiden?” Zoe blurted out, astonished. He certainly hadn’t approved of her sharing her room with Drake at Christmas.

  “No. Of your loving him. He’s the real McCoy. So don’t let this one get away.”

  “And what if he wants to get away?”

  Her dad chuckled. “Aiden? Want to get away from you? Why would he want to do that? He loves you!”

  Zoe’s heartbeat bolted. “Did he say that to you?”

  “Of course not. I could just tell.”

  Her heart skittered to a halt, her sigh weary. What a fool she was to get her hopes up like that. Her father had about as much insight into matters of the heart as one of his cows. He’d practically been living with Betty all these years and hadn’t gleaned her true feelings.

  “Whatever you say, Dad.”

  “You don’t believe me!” He sounded truly shocked.

  “Let’s just say I’ll wait for the proposal of marriage.”

  “Proposal of marriage? He’s not going to propose marriage! He’s only just met you.”

  “I thought you said he loved me.”

  “Men don’t propose marriage that quickly. Or that rashly. For one thing, they’re afraid of being rejected. If you haven’t told him you love him yet, he’ll be worried you might not.”

  “I don’t.”

  “Oh, yes, you do, daughter.”

  Zoe sighed again. “All right, I do. But I don’t want to.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because even if he does love me—and I don’t think he does—he’s on record as saying he’s not a marrying man.”

  “He hadn’t met you at that stage.”

  Zoe gave up. “Can we just leave this argument for now, Dad?”

  “Promise me you’ll tell him you love him.”

  “I can’t do that.”

  “You mean you won’t.”

  “All right, I won’t.”

  “You made me tell Betty I loved her, and you were right. You said life was too short not to, and you were right again. Now take some of your own advice and tell him you love him. Just because one man hurt you, doesn’t mean the next one will. I wasted over ten years of my life, thinking no woman would want me because I couldn’t make your mother happy.”

  “Oh, Dad. Mom wasn’t that unhappy.”

  “Yes, she was. But I see now we were just mismatched. It wasn’t all my fault.”

  Zoe nodded. He was right. Her mom was not the sort of woman to cope with the lonely life as a farmer’s wife. She was not strong enough, or independent enough. Her only outside interest had been her garden, and it hadn’t been enough.

  “Give Aiden a fair go,” her father said. “Don’t let past experiences blind you to the present. Promise me that, at least.”

  “All right,” she agreed. “I promise. And, Dad…”

  “Yes?”

  “I’ve enjoyed talking to you. Now you take care of yourself and give my love to Betty.”

  She hung up, frowning over the promise her father had extracted from her. Perhaps she had been letting the past blind her to the present. Perhaps she hadn’t really given Aiden a fair go.

  Okay, so she might get hurt again if she took a chance and told him she loved him. But wasn’t it worth the risk of further pain, even if there was the slightest possibility Aiden might truly care about her?

  There was going to be heartache for her, anyway.

  A rumble of thunder interrupted her thoughts. Frowning, Zoe hurried out onto the porch and was shocked that the weather could have changed so radically without her having noticed. Ominous-looking gray clouds covered the sky, blocking out the sun. A brisk wind was whipping up the ocean into high foam-topped waves which curled over and crashed down angrily onto the beach.

  Scanning the water, Zoe couldn’t see Aiden. She knew the spot he favored when he went board riding but he wasn’t there. No one was there. No one was on the beach at all.

  It started to rain, large pelting dro
ps which would soak anyone in seconds.

  Zoe walked down the end of the covered porch and peered ‘round the side of the house to where her car and Aiden’s truck were parked side by side. The yellow truck was still there, so Aiden hadn’t driven off anywhere else. Which meant he must have gone surfing here.

  It was then that she saw his surfboard, still leaning up against the post beside the front steps.

  Zoe’s stomach contracted into a tight knot of instant fear. Aiden must have gone body surfing, not board riding.

  Oh, dear heaven…

  Zoe’s hands gripped the red porch railing with white-knuckled intensity, her now-frantic gaze searching the ocean once more. She still couldn’t see anyone swimming, or body surfing. Not a single bobbing head anywhere.

  Suddenly, the waves didn’t just look large but lethal as well. Zoe remembered that treacherous tide which had carried her toward the rocks that night. Her eyes swung over toward those rocks and she was amazed to see a couple of fishermen standing on them, still fishing. They had to be insane, she decided. But maybe they could tell her if they’d seen Aiden.

  Running back inside, she dragged on some shorts then raced back through the front door, hurtling down the front steps and launching herself across the sand, unmindful of the rain. She was quick across the sand but slow once she came to the rocks, where she had to pick her way carefully over their slippery surfaces toward where the two fishermen were recklessly standing with their rods.

  “Hey, there!” she shouted when she didn’t dare get any closer. As it was, every third wave washed over her lower legs, threatening her balance. “Have you seen anyone swimming in the surf this afternoon?”

  “What?” one of them called back, whilst the other didn’t even turn his head her way. He probably hadn’t heard her with the wind and the rain and the waves.

  She cupped her mouth with her hands and repeated her question. The fisherman shook his head and Zoe’s heart sank. She doubted they would have noticed, anyway. Their focus was all on what they were doing.

  For the next half an hour she walked up and down along the water’s edge, getting soaked to the bone, but unable to go back to the house. If there’d been anyone else to ask for help, she would have, but Hideaway Beach was deserted. There wasn’t a single vehicle in the visitors’ car lot. Finally, in desperation, she went along and knocked on all the other doors of the weekenders, hoping that Aiden might have gone visiting.

  But no one answered. They were weekenders, after all. And it was only a Thursday.

  Zoe tried to cling to the hope that Aiden might have gone for a walk, but if that was so, surely he’d have come home once it started to rain. And it had been raining steadily for ages. The persistent thought that something dreadful had happened to him in the surf would not go away, bringing with it a sick churning to her stomach and an even sicker churning in her heart.

  What if she never had the chance to tell him she loved him? What if it was all over between them in the most terrible and final way?

  She couldn’t bear it.

  Despairingly, she returned to the house and in desperation picked up her phone. But who to call? If something disastrous had happened to Aiden in the surf it was already too late. She decided to call the triple-O emergency number, anyway, and was punching out the numbers when she heard the sound of a vehicle coming down the driveway. Dropping the phone, she dashed out onto the porch and raced ‘round the side of the house.

  A battered truck crunched to a halt behind the carport and Aiden jumped out of the passenger seat.

  “Thanks for the ride, buddy,” he called out as he retrieved a surfboard from the back.

  “No sweat,” the driver returned. “See you, Aiden.” And he reversed up the driveway.

  “What happened to you?” Aiden asked when he spotted Zoe standing there, soaked to her skin. “Go for a swim with your clothes on, did you?”

  Zoe just stared at him, her emotions utterly mangled. She didn’t know whether she wanted to kill him, or kiss him.

  “No, you inconsiderate pig!” she threw at him. “I’ve been looking for your body!”

  And she promptly burst into tears.

  20

  SHOCK HELD AIDEN stock-still for a few moments, ‘til suddenly, he saw the truth behind Zoe’s tears.

  She’d been worried sick about him. She thought she’d lost him. She truly cared about him.

  He needed no other encouragement.

  Dropping his board, he covered the distance between them in two strides and gathered her into his arms.

  “You’re right, I am inconsiderate. I walked over to Fisherman’s Beach. I should have told you where I’d gone. I was angry with you because I didn’t think you cared about me. I thought all you wanted from me was sex. But you do care, don’t you, darling? Tell me I’m not wrong about that. Tell me you care.”

  He tipped up her chin so that he could see her eyes.

  They were so beautiful, her eyes. And so expressive. He could see the fear in their glistening depths. But he could also see the love.

  Or what he hoped was love.

  “Don’t be afraid to admit it,” he said gently. “I won’t hurt you like Drake hurt you. I love you, Zoe. With all my heart. I’ve never said that to any other girl in my life. I know you think I’m some kind of cheat with women because of that court case last year, but I’m not. I was the victim there, not her.”

  “Tell me what really happened,” Zoe asked.

  “I met Marci at a party and we got talking. When she said she’d lost her job that week and had nowhere to live, I stupidly offered her the use of one of my spare rooms for a while. I didn’t think anything of it, as I was hardly ever there. Admittedly, I began to feel she was overstaying her welcome after a few weeks went by and she didn’t leave. But she always had some excuse why she couldn’t move out and I had no real reason to throw her out. It wasn’t as though I had a steady girlfriend at the time who was objecting. Then one night, when I came home after being away all week on business, she obviously set out to seduce me. And she succeeded. The next morning, when I explained to her that the night before was a mistake, she showed her true colors and said it was a mistake all right. Mine. She got herself a lawyer who made Attila the Hun look sweet and the rest is history. She was never my girlfriend, Zoe. And I never promised to marry her. My only crime was being a mug, for want of a better word.”

  Zoe’s eyes searched his face, obviously wanting to believe him, but still hesitant.

  “I swear to you that that’s the truth. On my mother’s life,” he added solemnly. “And if you ever get to know me as well I would like, you’ll know I would not say that lightly. Because I simply adore my mother.”

  Zoe’s defenses melted away at this declaration.

  “Tell me you love me,” he persisted. “Right now. Tell me.”

  “I love you,” she choked out.

  The blinding joy which spread across his handsome face soothed any lingering doubts Zoe was still harboring about the sincerity of Aiden’s feelings.

  “About time, too,” he said thickly, and held her close, cradling her head against his chest.

  “I tried not to,” she confessed. “I tried to keep things to just sex. I told myself I didn’t want to get to know you at all, except in the biblical sense. But in my heart of hearts, I always wanted more from you than just sex. I thought I was being sensible and strong in keeping our relationship to a brief affair, when really, I was just being a coward.”

  He held her away from him, his eyes soft and sympathetic. “You? A coward? Oh, no, Zoe. You’re no coward. You’re very brave, and I love that in you. You have character and spirit and standards.”

  “How can you say that? I’ve been wicked this week. You know I’ve been wicked.”

  “Not at all. How can anything we do together be wicked when we love each other so much?”

  “Oh, Aiden, I do so love you. What I felt for Drake wasn’t real love. I can see that now. As for Greg…”

/>   Zoe bit her bottom lip, but it was too late. She’d already blurted out Greg’s name.

  “Greg?”

  Zoe saw the speculation in Aiden’s eyes and decided she wanted no ghosts from the past to spoil what she might have with this man. “A creep I met when I first came to Sydney,” she explained. “He was my immediate boss in the section of the insurance company I worked in. At the time I was on the plump side and very shy where the opposite sex was concerned. Apparently, he made a bet with his male colleagues that he could get me into bed within a fortnight. He did, by telling me lies about how attractive he found me and how much he desired me. I was a naive fool to believe him, but then, that’s what I was at the time. A naive fool. The day after I lost my virginity to him, I overheard him at work laughingly relating how pathetic I was in bed. He told his buddies that they should pay him double the agreed wager because naked, my body was so gross.”

  “Oh, Zoe…how awful for you. It makes me ashamed of my sex when I hear things like that. But not all men are as bad as Greg. Or Drake. Take me for instance,” he added, suddenly smiling the cheekiest smile. “I’m a prince.”

  She laughed. “You’re an arrogant devil, that’s what you are. You knew I’d fall in love with you if I came away with you.”

  “I was hopeful.”

  “Even when I said I only wanted sex?”

  “That didn’t worry me to begin with. I thought sex between us would be a very emotionally bonding experience. But I have to admit I started to worry this morning after I let you tie me to the bed.”

  “I can imagine. I was a bad girl, wasn’t I?”

  “Mmm.”

  “But as soon as you asked me to make love to you properly, I realized I didn’t want that kind of sex anymore. I wanted to untie you and have you make love to me properly right then and there.”

  His beautiful blue eyes danced with a wry amusement. “Really. You gave a pretty good imitation of a girl only interested in her own pleasure.”

  “I didn’t want you to know I loved you.”

  He laughed. “That’s your story and you’re going to stick to it, aren’t you? Still, I see it’s going to take me a while to convince you that I’m one of the good guys. I think, come tomorrow, I’m going to take you home to meet my mom. But first, I’m going to make love to the woman I love. Properly.” And he swept her up into his arms.