Always You

by Denise Grover Swank

  It worried her that he’d called after so long. It worried her even more that he hadn’t left a message. Should she have called him back? Chances were that he’d been drunk and called her with the same old crap.

  But what if he’d found out that she’d left London?

  Ashley, who had been quiet for the past ten minutes, blurted out, “I call bullshit. It’s so obvious the two of you have the hots for each other, you might as well have a neon sign flashing over your heads.”

  “Ashley!” Anna gasped.

  Lanie gave her a sly grin. “She’s right. We can all see it. What’s the problem?”

  Matt wrapped an arm around her shoulders and tugged her closer. Anna nearly pulled away, but everyone could see they were drawn to each other. Plus, it felt so right.

  Matt held her tight, as though presenting a united front. “There are a lot of things to consider, it’s not just us. We need to think about the boys.”

  Lanie motioned to the boys, who were playing in the yard with the dogs. “It looks like they’re getting along great.”

  “That’s how they got back together,” Tyler said. “Because Anna’s kid’s on Ethan’s team.”

  “But I’m only here for a short time,” Anna said. “I’m helping my dad get back on his feet. And then I have to go back.”

  “Kevin says you’re in banking,” Holly said. “Surely you could get a job here.”

  “That’s not the issue, dear,” Matt’s mother said, giving Anna a sympathetic look. “There are other factors to consider.”

  “Kevin and I had other factors to consider,” Holly said. “Like the fact I worked for his mother. But everything worked out.”

  Anna gave her a tight smile. “Legally, I’m not allowed to move out of the country with Toby. Not until he’s sixteen.”

  “But—” Lanie started to say.

  Matt squeezed Anna tighter. “Anna’s custody issues aren’t up for debate.”

  Everyone was silent for several seconds then Ashley said in a cheery tone, “Hey! Long-distance relationships can be totally hot. You spend all that time missing each other, and then when you see each other, it’s like tossing gasoline onto a bonfire.”

  “Ashley!” Anna protested in horror. “My father is here! And Matt’s mom!”

  “Give me a break,” her dad grumped with a grin. “I know what sex is. How do you think you got here?”

  Anna cringed. “Oh, my God. Dad!”

  “I agree with Ashley,” Matt’s mom said with a smug look. “When Matt was little, his father’s construction business had a major lull and we were desperate for money. He found a four-month construction project in Texas and came home a couple times. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other. We had to send Matt to stay with his grandmother for the weekend…”

  “Mom!” Matt shouted.

  “How do you think I got pregnant with your sister? And I didn’t even need yoga to help with my pelvic floor back then.” She shook her head. “I tell you, that older woman who teaches yoga at the fitness place does wonders.”

  Tyler burst out laughing. “Kevin, isn’t your gram teaching yoga at Blue Springs Fitness?”

  Kevin’s face turned red. “What of it?”

  “I didn’t tell you I was taking classes from her? She’s amazing!” Lanie said to Kevin, then turned to Ashley. “Have you taken any of her tantric yoga classes? The things I learned…”

  Tyler bolted upright in his seat, sloshing beer onto his shirt. “Oh. My. God. You learned that new…thing that you do”—he made a fist and then realized what he was doing and dropped his hand to his lap like it was on fire—“from Kevin’s grandmother?”

  “What difference does it make?” Lanie asked. “You definitely liked it.”

  Kevin stuck his fingers in his ears and started to sing loudly while scrunching his eyes shut. “La la la la la.”

  Anna laughed to see Kevin looking so horrified.

  Shaking her head with a grin, Holly tugged down his hands.

  “Have you heard about her upcoming class?” Ashley asked “I hear she’s about to offer an Ohm class.”

  Kevin closed his eyes and scrunched up his shoulders to his ears like he was a turtle. “Do I want to know what that is?”

  Ashley turned to him with a straight face. “It’s an orgasm class. Your gram and her husband assist men or women help their female partners have an orgasm. Right there in class.”

  “Oh, my God,” Kevin said, looking like he was about to throw up. “Is that legal?”

  Ashley’s mouth twisted to the side as she paused for a second, deep in thought. “I don’t know. But she’s not having it at the fitness center so maybe not.”

  Kevin rose from his seat. “I need another drink.”

  Everyone laughed as he disappeared into the house.

  Anna was busy thinking about what Ashley had suggested. Should she consider a long-distance relationship? Would Matt be open to it? She could come back a few times a year and see Matt as well as her father. She wanted Toby to have a relationship with him, especially now that they were bonding.

  Lanie turned to Anna. “Maybe we should bring you to an upcoming yoga class.”

  Anna forced a smile. She could picture herself fitting in with Matt’s friends. Holly and Lanie were already including her, and Ashley fit right in, too. It made the thought of her mostly friendless life in London seem even sadder than usual. “We’ll see what we can fit in before I head back to London in a month.”

  “That’s so sad,” Holly sighed, leaning her head on Kevin’s shoulder when he sat down. “You two are a real-life love story.”

  Anna knew she should contradict her, but the words formed a lump in her throat.

  “Hey,” Kevin said, looking down at his wife. “What were we?”

  She laughed. “We were a fairy tale.”

  Kevin seemed to ponder it for a moment then pulled her close and kissed her. “Okay.”

  “When you two get married, I want to plan your wedding,” Holly said. “If you’ll let me, of course.”

  Anna released a nervous laugh. “Whoa. You’re making a few leaps. We didn’t say anything about getting married.”

  Holly gave her a knowing look. “You will. It’s your fate.”

  Lanie laughed. “Someone’s planned too many weddings.”

  They teased each other about Holly’s profession and how Lanie didn’t seem to mind Holly’s romantic tendencies when she planned Lanie and Tyler’s wedding several months before.

  Anna felt wistful as she watched them. Matt had told her that the two women had met last September and become fast friends. While Anna could come back to see Matt a few times a year, she’d never have this. Matt and his friends got together often. How would Matt feel about hanging out with the couples without her? Would he want to get married? She would love to marry him, but it seemed crazy when she would be living on the other side of the ocean for ten more years. Then there was the issue of kids. She hadn’t missed Matt’s reaction when he found out that Holly was pregnant. He’d never made any secret of the fact that he wanted children, and while he had Ethan, Abby would take back her son at some point. Sure, she could have Matt’s children, but how realistic was that if they wouldn’t be together full time? It would kill Matt to see his children only a few times a year, and she could never have children with him and leave them in the United States—which meant having children wasn’t a realistic option. Anna wanted to give Matt everything he wanted—he deserved to be happy—but she felt like she was offering only half promises.

  Everyone stayed another hour before Anna realized her father looked like he was about to fall asleep in his chair. She leaned into Matt’s ear and whispered, “Dad’s exhausted. I think I should take him home.”

  “He could lie down in my room if he wants to rest,” Matt said quietly.

  “He’ll never lie down here. He’s too proud.”

  “Then home it is,” Matt said. “Do you want me to take him home or do you need to do it? D
o you want to come back?”

  Matt was a good man. He was the only man she’d ever loved, but he deserved more than she had to offer. “I think we should just go.”

  Disappointment washed over his face. “Okay, but I think we need to talk. Several things were suggested today, and I’d like to discuss them.”

  She hesitated. Was there more to say? But after their past, she wanted him to feel like she’d been completely honest and open with him. “Then let me take Dad home and I’ll come back. He’ll probably want to nap in his chair so that will buy me a couple of hours.”

  “At least let me help you get him in the car.”

  “I do this all the time. Can I leave Toby here? It would be a huge help.”

  “Consider it done.”

  Ten minutes later, Anna had her father in the car. He was usually quiet when they drove, so he surprised her when he said, “Today was good. I need to be with people more.”

  Her mouth dropped open. She never would have expected to hear him say that.

  He chuckled. “Yeah, I know, but an old fart can change.”

  “Dad!”

  “That’s okay. I know I’m an old fart.”

  She laughed. “I was going to say you’re already changing.”

  He turned serious. “We have some hard decisions to make, my girl.”

  My girl. He hadn’t called her that since she was little. She found it ironic that he used that term of endearment when their roles were about to reverse. “I know.”

  “I know you’re leaving, and you know I wish you weren’t, but some things are out of our control. Instead of spending so much time and energy fighting it, sometimes a person needs to know when to let something go.”

  Her heart sank. “You think I should let Matt go?”

  “No. The opposite. I never saw you happier than when you were with Matt. Today only proved it. You need to find a way to get that British weasel to let the boy go. He deserves someone like Matt Osborn in his life.” He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. “But there’s something else we need to talk about, and I know it’s eating at you.”

  She cast a quick glance toward him.

  “I heard you talking to Dr. Martin at my last appointment. I know you’ve been spending your Saturdays looking at assisted living centers.”

  She swallowed, unsure how to proceed.

  “It’s okay, Annaliese. I know I can’t live alone. The idea has taken some getting used to, and I’m sorry I’ve been a bear to live with, but I saw the handwriting on the wall, and I was having a hard time accepting it.” He paused. “I’m not gonna fight you. I’m not gonna give you a hard time.”

  “Dad, I’m so sorry,” she said, pulling into his driveway. “If I can figure out a way to stay, then you can stay in your house.”

  “No,” he said with a hitch in his voice. “Even if you stay, I need to move. You need to build a life with Matt. I’ll only get in the way.”

  “Dad—no. Don’t say that.”

  “Have you found a place for me?”

  She put the car in Park and took a deep breath. “Yeah.”

  “Make an appointment for me to see it. Hell, I’m due for a change.”

  “Dad. I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s the seasons of life, my girl. I’m ready to accept it.”

  * * *

  Matt was eager for Anna to come back. She said she thought the round trip would take her thirty minutes, but it had been forty-five minutes and there was no sign of her.

  “Relax,” Kevin said. “That was always your problem. You never had any game.”

  Matt snorted as he cleaned up the counter containing the leftover sides. Tyler and Kevin were helping while the women sat on the patio watching the boys and the dogs.

  “I never needed game.”

  “You mean you never needed game with Anna,” Tyler piped up.

  “True.” He stopped scooping a bowl of leftovers into a plastic container. “So…let’s talk about the elephant in the room. Anna.”

  “She’s going back to England,” Tyler said. “How’s that going to work?”

  “We’ll figure it out.”

  Kevin shot Tyler a look then turned back to Matt. “We’re worried you’re going to get hurt again.”

  “Maybe I will, but I’m gonna try to convince her to give this a shot anyway. If I don’t, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”

  “Then we wish you luck,” Tyler said. “Anna’s still just as great as she was back when we were at MU. You know, before she dumped you.”

  “Ha,” Matt said, shaking his head. “Thanks.”

  Anna showed up shortly after they’d finished cleaning up the kitchen. As soon as Lanie and Holly saw her, they told their husbands it was time to go and dragged them to the front door.

  “It was wonderful to meet you, Anna,” Holly said as she pulled her into a hug. “I hope to see you again soon.”

  “Same here,” Lanie said with a mischievous grin. “We need you to help us level out the testosterone.”

  After Matt’s friends and Ashley left, Anna moved into the kitchen and watched Matt’s mother with the boys and the dogs out the back windows.

  Matt put his arm around her and pulled her to his side. “I want to try to work this out, Anna. I want to find a way for us to be together. Even if it’s long distance.”

  “Is this fair to the boys? They won’t understand all the time apart.”

  He turned her to stare into her worried eyes. “They’re smart kids. Will they want it this way? Probably not, but neither do we. But it’s better than you two leaving and never seeing you again. We’ll adjust. We’ll figure out how to make this work.”

  She took a step away from him, running her hand over her head. “I’ve been trying to imagine how this would work and I just don’t know. I have to think.”

  “I can come see you three or four weeks a year. Kevin can cover for me. How much time can you get off?”

  “Three weeks but—”

  “That’s seven weeks.”

  “Out of fifty-two, Matt,” she said in exasperation. “About a month and a half out of twelve months.”

  “It’s a month and a half we wouldn’t have otherwise.” He moved closer and reached for her hand. She let him link their fingers and tug her closer. His voice lowered. “There’s only one woman for me, Anna, and that’s you. I’ve spent twelve years looking, and no one else has even come close. I’ll take what I can get, just give me something.”

  Tears filled her eyes. “Matt.”

  “I don’t want to lose you again, Anna. Let’s just try it, okay?”

  “It’s not fair to you.”

  “Let me be the judge of that,” he insisted.

  “It’s not fair to the boys.”

  “Then let’s spend the rest of the time you have left figuring it out. We won’t tell the boys anything.”

  She loved this man with all her being. She had two options: stay away from him until she went back to London, or give herself a month of happiness. She might be miserable when she went back, but she’d be miserable anyway. “They can’t know we’re together.”

  His eyes widened. “Are we together?”

  She nodded. “At least until I leave. I can’t commit to a long-distance relationship yet, but we need to think about what that might look like.” A mischievous grin spread across her face. “But then again, you might be sick of me by the time I leave.”

  He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her to his chest. “I’m willing to take my chances.”

  “Are you sure you want to consider a long-distance relationship?” she asked. “It’s going to be hard. You’ll get together with Kevin and Tyler and their wives, but you’ll be alone, Matt. Until Toby’s sixteen, and even then, I’m not sure I’ll be able to come back. He’ll still be in high school. Is that fair to ask him to move then? And then there’s kids.”

  “What about kids?”

  “Matt, you want kids.”

  His eyes wide
ned in surprise. “You don’t?”

  “I do, but not if you’re living on another continent. I’ve seen Toby struggle with wanting his father to be part of his life. I could never willingly have a child whose father only sees him or her six or seven weeks a year. Would you want that?”

  His face fell. “No.”

  She leaned her cheek against his chest and sighed.

  “If you didn’t have to deal with Phillip, if you weren’t legally bound to stay in the UK, what would you do?” Matt asked quietly.

  She was quiet for a moment then said, “I’d move back. I’d move here. But Phillip is an issue. Maybe this is a bad idea.”

  She started to pull away but he held her close. “No. It’s not. I only want you, Anna. I’ve always wanted you. I don’t want to lose you again. We’ll figure out kids later.”

  She reached up and kissed him. “I’m sorry,” she said against his lips. “If only I had—”

  “No,” he said, taking her hand. “No regrets. Only forward.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  On Tuesday morning, Anna sat in Blair Hansen’s conference room, feeling more confident as the attorney sat down next to her.

  “Good morning, Anna,” Blair said with a smile. “I hear we have multiple acquaintances, several of whom called, asking me to meet with you.”

  “I’m not surprised,” Anna said apologetically. “I’m lucky enough to have several people eager to help me. I suspect my best friend Ashley is one of them.”

  “And Tyler Norris, Kevin Vandemeer, and Kevin’s sister, Megan, who doesn’t even know you.” Blair laughed. “You have a lot of people in your corner. That’s always a good sign. Why don’t you fill me in on what’s going on?”

  While Blair took notes, Anna spent the next ten minutes telling Blair about her relationship with Phillip, and the divorce, the stipulation that she keep Toby in the UK, and how little Phillip was involved in Toby’s life.

  Blair finished writing and looked up at her. “I’m not going to lie—the fact that your divorce was in the UK makes things more difficult. Have you contacted your attorney in England?”

  “No, he died a couple of years ago.”

  Blair held her pen in midair. “I know a barrister who helped me with a case a few years ago. If you can get me a copy of the decree, I can have him take a look. You said you’ve been here helping your elderly father?”