Always You

by Denise Grover Swank

  She was looking at the ring, her legs buried in photos and programs and old grade cards, when her phone rang. She reached for it on the nightstand, but the phone was just out of her grasp. She scooped up the photos and put them in the box then shoved the other papers to the floor, standing up to grab the phone. By the time she picked it up, the phone had stopped ringing, but her heart fell to her feet when she saw the name on the screen.

  Phillip.

  She’d called him before she’d left London, but he hadn’t answered. He rarely did. She’d left a message that she needed to talk to him and to call her as soon as he could, and of course she’d never heard back from him.

  So why was he calling now?

  It was well after midnight in the UK, but it was Saturday night so he was probably out in a pub, drunk dialing her. He’d done it before, more times than she could count, but the majority of them had been during the first few years of Toby’s life. Drunk off his ass, he always told her he knew what a terrible father he was and that he wanted them to be a family. She’d halfway believed him in the beginning and invited him to come spend family time with Toby—the three of them together—but he’d shown up only a few times before Toby turned two. He’d called only a few times since—the last well over a year ago. Once she realized he wasn’t going to change, she’d stopped answering, instead letting his drunken and often slurred message go to voice mail. She stared at her phone now, but the voice mail message never appeared.

  She tried not to freak out over what that could mean.

  Chapter Twenty

  Anna wasn’t sure what to expect when she showed up to Matt’s, but she was prepared to run a gauntlet. Matt had been evasive when she’d tried to pin him down about his two best friends’ attitude about her attending the cookout, which she took to mean they weren’t too thrilled. The only thing he’d told them was that they were friends again and planned to spend time together before she returned to London, but that was enough to set them on edge. Nevertheless, she would accept whatever they dished out as penance.

  In fairness, Ashley had been equally reserved. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

  “We’re just friends. We’re doing this for the boys.”

  “You’re playing with fire, Anna, but you’re a big girl who knows how hot fire is, so I’ll give you my warning and let you handle the rest.”

  Anna had started to tell her about Phillip’s weird call, but she couldn’t make herself do it. She wanted to think it was a butt dial and nothing purposeful, but if it had been purposeful and he hadn’t left a message, she wasn’t sure she could deal with what it could mean. Not today. She’d deal with it tomorrow.

  Anna was running late, which already had her anxious. She hated being late, but the baked beans had taken forever to heat up and after she’d boiled eggs for the deviled eggs, several of them had ripped apart when she removed the shells, and she’d had to run back to the store to buy more.

  Several cars were parked in front of Matt’s house when they pulled up to the curb. Ethan stood with his nose pressed to the window, waiting for Toby. Anna grinned when she saw the dogs on either side of him, staring out the window, too. Leaving her father in the car while she took the food inside, she expected Ethan to run out the door as she and Toby approached, but he remained in place until they knocked. Ethan cracked the door and poked a sliver of his face through. “Uncle Matt says I have to be super careful and make sure the dogs don’t go outside. He says I can’t open the door very wide.”

  “Very smart advice,” Anna said as she juggled the two dishes. “We’ll make sure we don’t let the dogs out.”

  Ethan opened the door just enough for them to get inside, not that the dogs seemed interested in escaping. They were too excited to see Toby. Cinnamon jumped up and licked Toby’s face, eliciting a round of giggles from both boys.

  Anna cast a glance out the back windows as she set the two containers on the counter. Her stomach twisted when she saw Tyler and Kevin, along with two women she didn’t recognize, and one she did—Matt’s mother.

  Matt must have heard the commotion and turned to glance into the kitchen. As soon as he saw her, his face lit up. He looked over her shoulder at his mother and said something Anna couldn’t hear then headed into the house.

  He stopped in front of her, and a combination of warmth and comfort mixed with a wave of lust, making her want to press her body to his and kiss him. Thankfully, good sense prevailed, but barely.

  “I need to go out and get my dad,” Anna said, taking two sideways steps toward the door both in an effort to go out to her dad and self-preservation. She wasn’t sure how long her self-control would last, which was very bad, given they had a bigger audience than two boys.

  Maybe this was a bad idea. She should probably leave Toby here and take her father back home. Only now that he’d agreed to come, he’d acted a tiny bit excited.

  “I’ll help.” Matt put a hand on the small of her back and ushered her toward the door. His hand sent another wave of desire through her as she felt his fingertips through the thin cotton fabric of her dress.

  When she went outside, she realized her father had already opened his car door and had gotten out of the car. He was now leaning against the back passenger door.

  “Dad!” she shouted, hurrying toward him. “Just wait there.” She opened the trunk and got out his walker then set it up in front of him. “I told you I was coming right back.”

  Exhaustion and sorrow filled his eyes. “In another month, you’re not gonna be here, Annaliese, and what am I gonna do then?”

  Her heart broke. She knew what he would do, but now was not the time. “We’ll talk about that later.”

  Matt walked up behind her. “Hello, Mr. Fischer. I’m happy you could make it.”

  Her father grabbed the handles of the walker and looked up at him. “You’re not a kid anymore. Call me Albert.”

  “Yes, sir,” Matt said with a smile. “Can I help you with anything?”

  “If you’ve got a time machine and can go back to the day I decided it was a good idea to clean out my gutters, then yeah. Otherwise, I’m shuffling alone.”

  “Let’s make a deal,” Matt said. “If you need something done that puts you in danger, you give me a call and I’ll take care of it.”

  Her father frowned as he lifted his walker and started toward the house. “Why would you do something like that for me? After all these years?”

  “Because you’re Anna’s father and Anna is my friend. I take care of my friends. All you have to do is ask Tyler and Kevin once you get inside. Hell, I helped Kevin remodel his house. Cleaning a gutter or changing a lightbulb is nothing.”

  Anna stared at Matt, shocked by his offer, but her father had already walked several steps ahead with Matt beside him.

  * * *

  Matt shadowed Anna’s father until they were on the back patio, then he got Albert settled in a chair, but he was struggling to focus on the simple task because all he could think about was Anna’s sexy bare legs. Her peach dress was simple and conservative, but he remembered every inch of what was underneath, and her legs were a reminder that he could only look and not touch.

  Get your shit together, Osborn.

  He glanced at his mother, who was sitting in one of the patio furniture love seats. “Mom, you remember Anna.”

  “Of course!” his mother said enthusiastically as she rose from her chair and greeted Anna with a hug. “It’s been too long,” his mother said.

  “Yes,” Anna said. “It has.”

  “Kevin, Tyler, you remember Anna.” His back muscles tensed while he waited for their response.

  “Hey, Anna,” Kevin said with a nod and a partial smile.

  “Good to see you again,” Tyler said, halfway sounding like he meant it.

  Their wives gave each other conspiratorial glances and Matt never loved either of them more, certain they had coached their husbands to be civil.

  He gestured to the blonde next to Kevin, then
the brunette next to Tyler. “And this is Kevin’s wife, Holly, and Tyler’s wife, Lanie.”

  The blond woman waved. “Hi.”

  Lanie settled back in her chair and gave Anna an appraising glance and then smiled. “Holly and I have been very eager to meet you. We hear you knew these two way back when.”

  Anna laughed. “I can tell you college stories about both of your husbands.”

  Lanie’s face lit up as she leaned forward and shot Holly a look. “I see a girls’ night in our future.”

  Both of their husbands groaned, but Matt grinned. They had reason to worry. Anna had seen quite a bit.

  He put a hand on Anna’s father’s shoulder. “Albert, can I get you something to drink? Mom fixed us some homemade lemonade.”

  Albert nodded, but he kept his eyes on the boys, who were playing with the dogs in the yard.

  Matt turned to Anna, amazed anew that she was here. At this house. He watched her for a couple of awkward seconds, then realized everyone was staring at him. “Uh…Anna? Lemonade? Beer?”

  But she’d been staring at him, too, and came to her senses when he had. “Lemonade sounds good.”

  His mother moved to the end of the love seat and patted the cushion next to her. “Have a seat, Anna. I want to hear about your adventures in England.”

  Matt went inside to get the drinks, and when he returned, Anna looked happy as she regaled the group about the differences between London and the Midwest. Holly and Lanie were rapt with attention, and he noticed Tyler and Kevin were listening, too. He was relieved they weren’t being antagonistic. They had liked Anna in the past; they’d just held a grudge on his behalf, a grudge he could see they were softening.

  He manned the grill at the other side of the patio, joining in the lively conversation, while the boys romped in the yard with the dogs. Just as he was taking the last piece of chicken off the grill, Anna’s friend Ashley showed up, and Matt announced that it was time to eat. Everyone went inside to fill their plates, and Anna helped Matt man the food—making sure that all the sides had spoons, that there were enough plates, that everyone’s drinks were refilled. She made sure both boys had plates of food, then took them out to get them settled and corral the dogs. When Matt returned to the patio, Anna was sitting in the love seat, but his mother had taken Matt’s vacated seat. She had a sly look on her face when he glanced at her.

  Subtle, Mom. Not that he was complaining…

  Anna glanced up at him and smiled as he sat next to her. “The chicken is delicious,” she said. “You’ll have to tell me what you used in the marinade.”

  The group echoed Anna’s statement as he sat down, and he absently thanked them, distracted by the bolt of heat that shot through him when his thigh touched her bare leg.

  She cast a glance at him, and he could see she was just as affected as he was, which turned him on even more. He shifted in his seat to ease his discomfort. The last thing he needed was a very public display of his attraction.

  The conversation turned to the outdoor kitchen Kevin and Holly were building in their backyard.

  “Don’t you ever want a yard to hang out in?” Kevin asked Tyler as he scooped up some potato salad.

  Tyler shook his head. “No way. I cut enough yards when I was a kid to last me a lifetime.”

  “You can hire that out, you know,” Matt said with a laugh. “Just like people hired you.”

  “Lanie and I love where we’re at,” Tyler said. “But if we want to cook out or hang out in a backyard, we’ll just hit one of you two up. Why do you think I’m still friends with you? It’s sure not because of the brotherhood.”

  “Brotherhood?” Anna asked, glancing from Tyler to Matt.

  Shit. They had to bring up the brotherhood.

  Kevin and Tyler laughed, cluing Matt into the fact that both men had been looking for an opportunity to slip it into the conversation.

  Matt’s mother sat up. “I remember your brotherhood. You fancied yourselves to be dragon slayers.”

  “That was when we were kids, Mrs. Osborn,” Kevin said. “We came up with this one last summer after we realized we were all walking disasters when it came to anything to do with love. We vowed to avoid serious relationships and remain bachelors.”

  Matt groaned. “You lasted one day.”

  Kevin beamed. “What can I say? Holly’s irresistible. Thank God for my weak willpower.” Then he leaned over and gave his wife a lingering kiss.

  The love in their eyes used to make Matt feel jealous, but he cast a glance at Anna and she smiled at him with that same look. He knew he couldn’t lose her, whether she went back to London or not. Anna hadn’t had a man in her life since her ex. She might be open to a long-distance relationship. Both of them made enough money so they could afford the airfare to see each other several times a year. It wasn’t ideal, but once Toby was old enough, Anna could move back, or when Ethan went to college or moved back in with his mother, he could even move to London.

  Decision made, he felt truly hopeful for the future for the first time in years. Anna watched him with curiosity. Would she agree? He suspected she would. And if it eventually didn’t work out, they’d deal with it then. There were no guarantees in life.

  Thankfully, the conversation moved from the bachelor brotherhood to Lanie’s cousin, Brittany, who had gotten married the summer before. All three men had gone to high school with her and her husband, Randy, and they had attended the wedding, which was how Lanie and Tyler met. Holly had been the wedding planner.

  “Britt and Randy are very happy,” Lanie said. “In fact, they just announced that Britt’s pregnant. She’s due next October.”

  “It was planned,” Tyler said, shaking his head. “Can you believe it? They haven’t even been married a year.”

  Kevin and Holly were strangely quiet.

  “So when are you and Lanie planning on kids?” Matt asked.

  They glanced at each other and Lanie said, “I’d like to wait at least a couple of years, which will be pushing the edge of a high-risk pregnancy, but I’m still getting my business consultant company off the ground. I want to be able to focus on both.”

  “And I’m in no hurry,” Tyler said. “I’m content with it being just Lanie and me. Besides, my brother is kind of like having a kid—I just got to skip the baby, toddler, and whiny grade school age.”

  Matt’s mother stared at Holly for a moment then said, “Some people love children and want to have them sooner. There’s no one size fits all.”

  Holly glanced up at her, looking slightly less nervous.

  “Oh, my God,” Lanie said, covering her mouth with her hand. “Holly!”

  Tyler glanced back and forth between both women. “What?”

  “Is it true?” Lanie asked.

  Holly gave a small nod.

  Matt grasped what was happening and was surprised at the knife edge of jealousy that cut through him. But he quickly pushed it away. He was happy for Kevin and Holly. Besides, he had Ethan, and if Anna agreed to try to make this work long distance, he’d have Toby as well.

  So why did it still hurt so much to realize that he might not ever have a child with Anna?

  Lanie squealed and jumped out of her seat, then rushed over to her friend, pulling her to her feet and wrapping her in a tight hug. “When?”

  “What the hell’s going on?” Tyler asked, looking at Kevin in confusion.

  “She’s pregnant, you idiot,” Lanie said over Holly’s shoulder.

  “What…Oh, shit. God, Kevin…Holly. Sometimes I really like the taste of shoe leather.”

  Matt buried his own disappointment and smiled at Kevin. “Congrats to you both. You’ll be great parents.”

  “The baby’s due in October. I don’t know how I’m going to handle the wedding planning and a baby,” Holly said. “But with my grandmother’s dementia starting to get worse…I wanted her to see our baby before she completely forgets who I am.”

  Kevin stood and wrapped an arm around Holly’s back and pulled
her close. “Not that we have to explain shit to anyone.” He shot Tyler a dark look.

  “You’ll make it work,” Anna said quietly, holding Holly’s gaze. “Because you have a man who obviously loves you to the moon and back. You’ll figure it out. Together. I did it as a single mother who worked insane hours, and I figured it out. Look at the beautiful boy God blessed me with. You’ll be fine.” She shook her head. “No, better than fine. You’ll be wonderful.”

  Holly’s eyes filled with tears. “Thank you, Anna. You have no idea how much I needed to hear that.”

  Lanie turned to Matt and pointed at him as she gave him a stern look. “I swear to God, Matt Osborn, if you let her get away, I’ll kick your ass myself.”

  Matt put his hand on Anna’s knee, the feel of her bare skin making him want to touch even more of her later. “We’re friends again. Maybe we should leave it at that for now.” He turned to look at her for confirmation. “We still need to work some things out.” He hoped to God she’d agree to a long-distance relationship, but he couldn’t assume she would. Her top priority was Toby—as it should be—and she was worried about confusing him. He had to admit he worried it would confuse both boys, but maybe they could put a lot of emphasis on their friendship.

  He’d find a way to convince her, because life without her was unacceptable.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Anna had never wanted something so much. This was the life she wanted for her and her son—casual get-togethers with friends and family, just hanging out and talking, but mostly she wanted the man sitting next to her. She could have this if only she could convince Phillip. Would he be open to it?