Always Red

by Isabelle Ronin

  I gazed up at him and saw the desperation, longing, and pain in his green eyes.

  “Red, when you left…I never felt so empty. Never felt so lost. It was like you cut out a piece of my heart and took it with you. I miss you so much, it hurts to breathe. I miss everything about you. I miss your body pressed against mine. I miss your soft sighs and the rapid beat of your heart when I touch you. I miss your hand in mine. I miss the vulnerability in your eyes that you hide from everyone but me. How can I not fall for you?”

  I held my breath, waiting for him to continue. Afraid to hear more, but wanting—desperately wanting—to hear more.

  “From the moment I saw you, you captured me. Body, mind, and soul. Take everything from me. It’s all yours.”

  “Caleb.”

  “If I’m to choose my cage,” he said, his voice thick with emotion, “I choose you. I’m a willing prisoner sentenced with a lifetime of loving you.”

  He cupped my face in his hands as his eyes, so sincere, looked into mine. “I love you,” he whispered.

  I felt something click into place, like the final piece of a puzzle.

  “I love you, Caleb,” I whispered before he claimed my lips and kissed me under the moonlight.

  Chapter Seven

  Caleb

  We stayed up all night.

  I had her in my arms, and that was all I needed right now. That was all I was going to need for a long, long time. Her absence had left a gaping hole inside my chest. When she wrapped her arms around me, she filled that hole so quickly, so completely, it felt like it had never been there.

  We sat on the beach and watched the sun rise. I wrapped her in my jacket and blanket. We left our shoes in the trunk of my car as we walked along the shore. I pulled her close to me as we walked, my arm around her shoulders, hers around my waist.

  When she looked up at me, my heart thudded loudly against my chest.

  God, how I’d missed her.

  “Don’t,” she said, sounding embarrassed.

  “Don’t what?”

  “Don’t stare at me.”

  I grinned. “I can’t help it.”

  She looked down at her feet and tucked her hair behind her ear as she blushed.

  My blushing Red.

  I knew she was still worried about what had happened between us, about the damage it had caused. I had forgiven her before she even asked. I was simply waiting for her.

  I stopped, turned her toward me, and tipped her chin up to look at me. “I think I’m going to stare at you for a long time.”

  I dipped my head to kiss her lips. So soft, so warm. Her hands rested on my chest as I felt her sigh. I smiled against her lips.

  “You missed me.”

  “I did. I do,” she answered quietly, her eyes still apologetic, still a little sad.

  I wanted to erase that sadness.

  “Maybe you can give me another dance number,” I teased.

  She laughed and slapped my arm just as I wanted her to. “Maybe when you wear a dress.”

  “Ow.” I rubbed the spot where she’d slapped me. She packed a strong one. “How about a G-string? Or better yet…”

  She gave me a stern look, flipped her hair over her shoulder, and started walking again.

  I grinned, staring at her back for a few moments before jogging to catch up to her. “Where did you learn to dance like that?” I asked.

  “My mom worked in a dance studio for as long as I can remember, and I took free lessons there. I wanted to go to dance school, but we didn’t have money for that. It’s okay, though. I have new dreams now.” She smiled, closing her eyes as she breathed in the fresh air. “My mom… She’d be really happy that I’m going to college.”

  I didn’t think she noticed the sadness in her voice when she mentioned her mom.

  “If we ever need cash, I can be a stripper, but you’d have to teach me that sexy move you did with your hips,” I joked. “I can wear one of those outfits where everything comes off with just one pull.”

  She laughed, light and fun. And all was right again.

  The sun was rising, the horizon exploding with colors of red, orange, and gold. A bird, huge and white, flew above the water and swooped down to catch its breakfast. The sound of lapping waves settled over us, comfortable and relaxing as we walked along the shore.

  “Finals are in a couple of weeks, Caleb. Will you be okay?”

  I knew she was worried that I’d missed a whole week of classes.

  “It’s fine. I know most of the material anyway. Besides, my grades are good enough for me to pass, even if I fail the finals. Which,” I added, chuckling when she glared at me, “I won’t.”

  “You’re graduating this year, right?”

  “Yes. Then I can start working. Save money for our wedding, a house, and then kids.”

  I waited a beat. She didn’t say anything, but she didn’t look shocked or horrified like the last time I mentioned marriage.

  Progress.

  And then she smiled. “I still have a year to go before I graduate.”

  “I’ll wait.”

  Feeling happy, I lifted her hand and kissed it. “Will you come home now, Red?”

  She bit her lip, looking like she wanted to cry again. “I thought you’d never call me that again.”

  “You will always be Red to me.”

  She squeezed my hand. “I went to your apartment yesterday.”

  Something inside me warmed. “You did?”

  She nodded. “I saw your mom.”

  My heart flipped.

  “I was hanging around in the hallway, waiting for you. In front of your door—”

  “Like a stalker.” I pulled her close and nuzzled her neck. “My stalker.”

  “Don’t let it go to your head,” she said, laughing. “She doesn’t know who I am, obviously. But I don’t think it’s a good idea to go back to your place. I don’t think she’d be too happy to learn we’re living together.”

  She had a point. I knew my mom would love Red. Who wouldn’t? But if my mom discovered Red and I were living together before they’d even been introduced, she would feel hurt. They were the two most important women in my life, and I wanted them to be friends. I had to do this right. I would rectify the situation as soon as possible. And then Red could come back to living with me.

  Officially as my girlfriend.

  I had more plans, but I didn’t think she was ready yet.

  “So have dinner with me and my mom,” I offered.

  Her eyes widened. “I…”

  “I’ll give her a call and set it up for this weekend, if you’re available. Come on, Red. Do it for me. Please?” I smiled, flashing my dimples shamelessly. She had a weakness for my dimples.

  “Okay.”

  I knew it. The dimples always worked.

  “I phoned my mom when I was at the cabin. I told her about you, about us. Not everything, but enough to give her an idea.”

  Red squeezed my hand, looked up at me with worry in her eyes.

  “I told her you’re obsessed with me and that—”

  “Caleb!”

  “Kidding.” When she slapped my arm again, I laughed. “I told her I’d found my girl, and she said she’s looking forward to meeting you.”

  She rested her head on my shoulder.

  “I love you,” I whispered.

  I saw her eyes darken, felt her body stiffen for a moment before she relaxed and leaned close to me. She laid her cheek against my chest, listening to my heartbeat as her arms wrapped around me. Actions speak louder than words, I realized with a smile.

  And that, I thought happily as I closed my eyes and rested my chin on top of her head, was her answer. She had done this before—rested her cheek against my chest—but I hadn’t recognized it for what it was.

 
I knew what it meant now.

  Chapter Eight

  Caleb

  “Want to get breakfast?” I asked, opening the car door for her.

  We stood facing each other. She was still wearing my jacket and wrapped in the blanket. She was so close that all I had to do was place my arm around her waist and pull her to me.

  The wind blew her long, dark hair, the thick, shiny strands covering her beautiful face. Holding my breath, I gently tucked them behind her ear and stroked her cheek with the back of my hand. She closed her eyes, her body swaying closer to mine.

  I want to eat you for breakfast, I wanted to say. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

  I wisely kept my lips zipped. We had just gotten back together, and I didn’t want to scare her.

  When she opened her eyes and stared into mine, my strong desire for her knotted my stomach.

  “What time is it?” she asked. But she whispered it, as if she felt the same way I did. Or maybe I was just desperate enough to imagine it.

  Taking a deep, calming breath, I glanced at my watch. “It’s time for Red to have breakfast with Caleb.”

  She bit her lip to stop herself from smiling. She failed miserably, and her lips split into a sweet smile. Her lips had been seductively stained with red lipstick last night, but they were bare now—and they looked more kissable than ever. How was that even possible?

  “I have class today, a review for finals that I can’t skip.”

  There was regret in her voice, and that made me happy. I knew she wanted to spend more time with me.

  We’d been apart for over a week, but it felt like years.

  She shivered when the wind picked up again.

  “Get inside,” I said, remembering my manners.

  I closed the car door after her, then jogged around the car and scrambled inside.

  “What time is your class?” I turned the heater on full blast.

  She slid off my jacket and handed it to me. “Here. You wear this. It’s cold.” Then she pulled the blanket tighter around her body, rubbing and blowing on her hands for heat. “I don’t start till ten.”

  I threw my jacket on the backseat. “We have time. Come here, Red.”

  The blanket fell from her shoulders as I pulled her close to me. I nuzzled her neck, blowing warm breath on her skin as I rubbed her back and shoulders.

  “Better?”

  “Don’t stop yet,” she murmured, bending her neck slightly to grant me more access.

  “Are you still cold?” I murmured back, planting a soft kiss on her shoulder.

  “Yes.”

  “Let me warm you up.”

  I moved my seat back. She gasped as I reached for her waist and lifted her, planting her on top of me so she straddled me, her legs on either side of my thighs.

  Her eyes were wide with surprise—and something else.

  Desire.

  Her eyes were darkened, her pupils dilated. I stroked her shoulder with the back of my hand, light, teasing touches that fed the fire in her eyes.

  “You’re so beautiful.”

  I traced the shape of her lips with my finger. They parted, her warm breath fanning out, her eyes half closed.

  “I want to bite you,” I said. My voice sounded rough.

  Her eyes opened, hooded with the same hunger I felt.

  “I can’t”—I kissed the side of her mouth, deliberately missing her lips—“get enough”—I kissed the other side, and she closed her eyes, shivering—“of you.”

  “Caleb.”

  When she pressed her body against mine, lifting her lips like an offering, I snapped.

  I buried my hands in her hair, crushing my mouth against hers. Hungry and wild, I devoured, taking everything she gave. I took more and more, until the sound of her moan filled my ears, making me burn.

  I was too hungry for her, too starved for her taste, her touch, her smell to think about being gentle.

  I needed her. Desperately.

  All I could think was more.

  She consumed me. Every thought, every feeling, every breath of my being belonged to her.

  Her arms wrapped around my shoulders, her nails digging into my back. Her legs tightened around my hips as my mouth dragged along her neck, along the perfect skin above her breasts.

  “Caleb.”

  My heart was thundering in my ears as she leaned back against the wheel. She closed her eyes as my hands worshipped her. I wanted to rip her clothes off.

  She dragged my mouth back to hers again, reckless, wild, and hot. My hands ran up her exposed legs, squeezing, stroking, claiming. I wanted to touch her where I hadn’t dared touch her before, but not here. Not here.

  When she licked my neck, my eyes nearly crossed. We had to stop or…I would take her here. And that wasn’t how I planned our first time.

  I cupped the back of her head, touched my forehead to hers as our breathing slowed. Her eyes were closed, her shoulders rising in time with her chest.

  Her chest…her…

  Do not think about it. Do not even look.

  “Pancakes?”

  She opened her eyes, and I nearly groaned. She was still turned on; I could see the need burning in her eyes. She swallowed, nodding after a moment.

  She smiled. “Pancakes.”

  Chapter Nine

  Caleb

  “So.” I blew out a breath, opening the car window to clear my head. Red’s intoxicating scent filled the car.

  And I was drowning in it.

  Think of something else.

  “Have you been to Anna’s?” I asked.

  “The café and bakery?”

  “Yes. That’s the one.”

  Her face brightened. “I love it there.”

  If I’d known she loved that café, I would have taken her there a long time ago.

  “Then we’ll go there.”

  She smiled, and my heart thumped fast and loud against my chest.

  “We have time to eat before I drive you to Kara’s. My class isn’t till one, so I’d have time to go home to shower. Unless”—I paused and waited until she looked at me—“you want to shower with me?”

  I was only half joking.

  I was expecting her to laugh or even roll her eyes like the last time I’d asked her this, but she didn’t. She just looked out the window with a secret half smile on her kissable lips.

  Does that mean she wants to…?

  I cleared my throat and opened my mouth to say something funny, but I felt tongue-tied.

  “Then we have time for breakfast,” she said.

  I really thought she was going to say something else.

  Concentrate on the road.

  “Want the radio on?” I asked.

  I’m nervous, I realized. What the hell?

  I noticed her eyeing my hands on the wheel. I waited a beat.

  She took a deep breath, as if preparing herself, and then slowly reached for my hand. Laced her fingers with mine.

  That was all it took.

  For her to reach for my hand. And make me feel like the king of the world.

  Jack Dawson had nothing on me.

  I turned to look at Red. She was looking straight ahead, blushing, her fingers linked with mine.

  And I knew, right at that moment, that I would die for this girl.

  She was the one. She always had been.

  “Caleb, I think we just went past Anna’s.”

  Did she expect me to remember where Anna’s was when my heart was about to burst?

  I couldn’t even remember my own name.

  Was it Jack Dawson?

  “Did you change your mind?” she asked.

  “Never. I made up my mind a long time ago. I think I knew the first time I saw you.”

  I felt her eyes on me, fe
lt her hand tighten against mine.

  I made a U-turn at the light and whipped the car into a free parking spot behind the café. And just stared straight ahead.

  “I remember the first time I saw you,” she said. “It wasn’t at the club. It was on campus.”

  I couldn’t remember the time in my life before I knew her.

  “What was I doing?”

  She smirked. “Flirting with three girls.”

  I grinned. “Jealous?”

  “No.”

  “Why are you frowning?”

  She pulled her hand away and crossed her arms across her chest. “I’m not frowning.”

  “Yes, you definitely are.”

  “I am not.”

  “Yes, you—”

  “Oh, this is so childish.” She got out of the car and headed to the café’s front entrance.

  Grinning, I followed her inside like a puppy.

  The café was small and cozy. It looked vintage, with antique mirrors and black-and-white pictures of Paris on the gray concrete walls. The brown tables and chairs looked old, but I knew they were new. A large blackboard hung above the bar, and the menu was written in different colors of chalk.

  Red went straight to the glass display case where dainty and elegant-looking pastries and bread were displayed.

  “These are so pretty.” She beamed, her nose almost touching the glass as she gawked at the display. She looked adorable, like a kid in a candy store.

  After we ordered, she chose a table near the window with a view of a charming street lined with tall, wide trees and blooming flowers. I sat across from her. She cupped her chin in her palms, her eyes shining with excitement. “Someday I’ll have my own café. Just like this. But I’d want it in a small bookstore where people could read or hang out while having coffee.”

  Leaning forward, I propped my arms on the table, stroking her elbows, and caged her legs between mine.

  She was sharing her dreams. She never did that.

  “I’ll be your first and most loyal customer,” I promised. “Will you serve pancakes?”

  “Especially,” she whispered, smiling.

  I smiled back, making small circles on the inside of her elbow.

  She kept talking, but the sound of her voice was a siren’s call to my ears. It felt like I hadn’t heard it in so long. Her lips were moving, her dark eyes shining. She was so beautiful.