Bitter Fruits

by Daltry, Sarah

  5.

  The day I am to meet Alec is, I am pretty sure, the slowest day in the history of human existence. Some sort of anomaly must occur because clocks stop moving forward. I don’t have mythology today and instead I suffer through statistics, which is already the biggest threat to my happiness; now, with the interminably long day and my relationship confusion, I start to wonder if the devil invented statistics to test our strength. Job has nothing on me, I think. By the time night falls, I haven’t eaten and I have checked the clock on my phone a hundred times.

  Beyond the nerves and frustration, the time also gives me room to think. What am I doing, I wonder. Alec is gorgeous, but he isn’t interested in me; he has done nothing but play games and tease me. The more I listen to my mind, the more annoyed I become. Why does he have this power over me? Normally, if a guy showed such little interest in taking a relationship to the next step, I would leave. Although, I have to admit, no guy has ever shown interest in me, and yet refused to make it physical. Excellent. Now I can add confused to the list of problems I have.

  Eventually, I can’t take the sitting around and staring at walls, so I walk to the church even if I am early. Keeping moving stabilizes my thinking. I don’t tell anyone where I am going, which, looking back, was probably a stupid idea, but I don’t want to hear Henry rant about some ages old story or Scarlet lecture me about being safe. Instead, I just want to lose myself in Alec and let the rest fall into place as it will.

  The church looks different tonight; the light is lower since the moon is no longer full and, without a party bringing life to the place, I almost let superstition and all this talk of danger hold me back. However, when I see Alec standing on the church steps, I move forward, lured by something beyond me. He is also early; I smile to myself, feeling pretty badass that this demigod is as anxious to see me as I have been all day. He is dressed like a reasonable person tonight, in a pea coat and corduroys. Maybe winter is catching up to him as well. Every time I look at him, I wonder how I was lucky enough to meet him, to have him choose me. My body reacts as I get closer and I determine that I will have him tonight.

  Nothing changes with each time I see Alec; I can’t resist him. When he faces me, the green in his eyes turns me into a weak-willed damsel in need of saving. I don’t know what it is about these two guys; it goes beyond their looks. There is something between us that links us to one another across time. Pushing thoughts of his brother out of my mind, I greet Alec with a kiss. His lips taste sweet and I want to keep kissing him. He cuts the kiss short, however, and takes my hand in his gloved one.

  “You came,” he says, half questioning and half impressed.

  “I did. I told you I would follow you anywhere. Although a cold case from half a century ago?”

  “It’s not cold. Everyone knows what happened.”

  “Fine. But what does that have to do with anything? Also, why is your brother hunting me down to offer sinister and vague warnings about your death?”

  He clutches my hand and his face, already pale, grows somehow paler. “My brother found you?”

  “Yes, but what’s going on, Alec? Some guy killed his brother years ago, some guy who looks like Caleb, and-”

  “Not looks like. Is. Charles is Caleb.”

  Silence worms its way between us but I have no response. I wonder if there was more in the drinks at that party, given how odd everyone is acting. First Chloe, then Henry, and now Alec. He is standing here, trying to make me believe his brother is - what? Over 100 years old? What is even stranger is that a part of my brain believes him; logic is fighting to regain control over my emotions, but something inside of me feels as if this is all finally starting to fall into place. I fight that feeling, because, well, I’m not insane.

  “Okay, Alec.”

  “Nora, listen to me. Please.”

  “Alec, you’re hot. Like crazy hot. But there is crazy hot and just plain crazy. So how old is Caleb? 100? Yet he still looks 20? Drinks a lot of milk, does he?”

  “Blood,” he whispers.

  I stare at him. I promised not to walk away, not to avoid the darkness, but I thought he was trying to be mysterious; as attractive as he is, I can forgive the capped teeth, but believing his brother is a vampire who killed someone in the 1960’s? This is the real “time to walk away” moment. Somehow, though, I don’t move. Again, a piece of me whispers that he is right; just as Henry and I discussed, it seems like my life has all been a lie until now, as if this was my destiny. The cold stone of the wall of the church presses against my back but I don’t fight it as Alec pushes closer to me and tilts his head back.

  “Nora, look,” he says and he reveals his fangs. I reach a fingertip out and prick it on the sharpness of one of them.

  “Ouch,” I say as a small amount of blood forms on my finger.

  “The masquerade... you may all have been pretending, but me and my brother? Well, we are hunting someone.”

  “Hunting?”

  “Yes, a woman. She has eluded us since our time in Oxford. I have been looking for - an answer. You and your friends seem to think this life is erotic, fantastical, but it is exhausting. I can only be killed so many times; I need to break this curse, stop this cycle. And now, with you, the need grows even more urgent.”

  “What are you?” I ask. He holds me close and I try to believe that it is not perfectly right; whatever Alec’s story is, I know now that I’ll hear him out and I will become a part of it. I have been waiting to meet him; I just didn’t realize it.

  “You would likely call us vampires,” he says. “Although we are not exactly vampires as your legends tell of us. We are immortal, and we survive on human blood, but it is only the blood of the willing - and always women.”

  “Oh, what the hell,” I complain. “I finally meet this dreamy guy and he is either insane or he is going around drinking other women’s blood. Is it so much to ask to just find a hot guy and have a little fun?”

  “You’re taking this very well,” he says, but there is curiosity in his eyes.

  “I can’t walk away,” I admit. “I want to. In fact, my mind is screaming that you’re crazy, that this is ridiculous. But I can’t move. You are meant for me and I can’t deny it. The second you touched me at the party, I knew I was home.”

  Alec leans down and kisses me. He is desperate and aggressive, not the considerate lover he has been, but a hungry and needy animal. There is no fear in me, only an equally matched passion, and I fall back into his arms as he moves up and down along my neck and chest. I think we are going to make love right here, against the entranceway to the church, but he steps back, his fangs disappearing, and he sighs. Grabbing my hand, he leads me into the church. Empty, it is no longer a portal to a fantasy world from a book; instead, it is an eerie entrance into something I realize is darker than I anticipated. We move to one of the pews and the velvet cushion sinks under me as I sit, Alec sitting beside me.

  “My brother and I, we are old,” he says. “Older than man almost. From the beginning. Many of your myths are lacking creativity, but we do survive on passion. It was passion that brought us to what turned us, and it is passion that sustains us. If I stop, the price is too great. Yet all I want is the feeling of something that lasts. When you live forever, you realize how transient everything truly is. Immortality is a tricky thing. I have died enough to know that at least.”

  “You’ve died? But isn’t - I mean, isn’t that kind of the opposite of immortality?”

  “I don’t die as you die. I just start again. Sometimes it takes days, sometimes years, but eventually, the peace is broken - and the cycle resumes.”

  “So you and Caleb have been dying and ‘resuming’ forever?”

  “He doesn’t die. I die.”

  “Oh, I mean, that makes sense,” I say.

  “It does,” he says. “It’s my destiny to die.”

  “Why can’t he die? Shake it up a bit?”

  “Because he cannot. There is a great deal to our story and perhap
s I will tell you someday, but suffice it to say that we each play a role. And you are interfering, because now that I have met you, I don’t want to die. I really don’t want to die, Nora.”

  “You can resume, though? So, I wouldn’t really lose you.”

  “It’s more complicated - and this form of me, the one that you love - he does not want to die while you are in his life. What if it’s ten years? For me, that may be nothing, but for you…”

  His voice breaks my heart and I hold his face in my hands. “You won’t die,” I tell him. “I’m not that easy to frighten and I won’t let you.”

  “You can’t stop fate,” he whispers.

  “It’s a good thing I don’t believe in fate,” I say and kiss him lightly. He backs away again, though.

  “The point is, Nora, I don’t want you to suffer. I will die, even if you don’t want to hear it. The bigger concern is that, when I have fallen in love in the past, it has ended badly. Very badly. If my brother were to get to you...”

  “I don’t resume,” I reply.

  “Right.”

  “Can you make me a vampire then?” I ask.

  “Cute. No. There is only one who can turn others - and she is our prey.”

  “Maybe she can-”

  “No. I believe it has been a very long time since she has, and it would be best to keep it that way.”

  I glance around the church. Shadows make weird shapes on the walls and I imagine someone is watching us. Perhaps Caleb, perhaps the woman they are hunting, perhaps no one. Either way, it feels strange and I shiver. Alec instinctively reaches for me and tries to warm me, but the chill is coming from within.

  “What happens when you drink blood?” I ask him.

  “Nothing really. As long as we can control ourselves, the woman at worst feels a little pain and may be woozy for a few days, but that is all. As I said, she must be willing.”

  “What do you mean as long as you can control yourselves?”

  “We are driven by passion. Most of our, what shall we call them?”

  “Snacks.”

  He laughs. “Fine. Most of our ‘snacks,’ as you so eloquently put it, are not women we are particularly attracted to, so it is easy to stop. When we are attracted to the women, however, passion can be destructive.”

  “Is that why you keep running away from me?”

  “That - and the last time I felt passion, even when I could control myself, well... as I said, it ended badly.”

  “I’m willing. And I trust you,” I tell him.

  “Nora, no.” He turns from me and I can see him fighting his own desire.

  “Listen, Alec, if I’m going to be with you, there is no way in hell I am okay with you snacking on other girls. It’s either all me or you walk away right now.” Part of me worries that he will actually get up and leave. I refuse to let emotion slip into my face, although my heart feels like a jackhammer. I channel some of the confidence I had at the party and it has the desired effect. Alec looks at me and then, with a heavy sagging of his shoulders, I see the fight desert him. He can’t walk away either and knowing that it is as hard for him as it is for me gives me the opening I need. I lean over to him and lift his shirt over his head. He sighs deeply and lets my fingertips trace the lines of his torso. I ignore the need in my body and try to take it slow, wanting to savor him.

  Suddenly, though, he grabs me and all of the sweetness he has shown starts to deteriorate, his animal passion and hunger driving him. He pushes me back onto the cushion and then he is above me and my clothes are off. I run my fingers along his arms and chest. I want him as I have never wanted anyone and I am tearing at his belt when the first bite registers. He is drinking from me and it is ecstasy that cannot be described. The giving feels greater than any sexual or physical act I have ever experienced; the pleasure and pain are like an orgasm, but we are only beginning. While he drinks, I continue to undress him until we are pressed together, naked and desperate, his body drinking of mine in more ways than one.

  Once his pants are off, I whisper to him to stop for a moment. My neck is throbbing, but I do not want to experience this without seeing him in front of me. I have longed to see all of him since we met, masked strangers at a party.

  “Stand up,” I tell him and he does without comment. Although it is dark in the church, we are close enough that the faint light from the moon makes him visible. I can see every muscle, every ripple of his flesh, and then my eyes come to rest on him in his fullness. He is beautiful and I grow wetter at the sight. Alec is everything I imagined he would be, his body satisfying me without even a caress. I rise from the pew and approach him, wrapping one arm around his waist and clutching at the flesh of his ass. With the other, I touch him, feeling him react to my fingers with a twitch. I need to have him penetrate me, every part of me. I tease him with my tongue down his chest and to his stomach.

  “Nora,” he whispers. “Yes.”

  It is the permission I need and I fall to my knees, meeting him with my mouth. My lips fold over the head and he groans; I can’t tell if the sound is pain or pleasure although it may be a little of both. Taking the length of him in, I lick the shaft and reach up behind him to touch the muscles in his back. My head moves back and forth over him and he meets every motion with his own thrusts. The taste of him is all that I have dreamed about this past week and I grow wetter as his hardness fills my throat. Tonight will be a new beginning but I am not in a rush; now that I know neither of us can stop this, we will enjoy every pleasure possible. Alec begins to lose himself and I feel his legs struggling to stay firm. I don’t want him to come yet, needing to feel him enter me instead, so I pull myself away and stand. Our naked bodies meet as I rise; we are pushed together in the coolness of the stone church.

  “I want you,” I tell him. He turns me and lifts me so that I am sitting on the back of the pew behind us and I spread my legs for him. He runs his fingers along the inside of my thighs until he finds what he is looking for. After teasing me for days, he finally gets to my center and his fingers touch the swollen lips. Opening me up, I nearly fall back but he catches me, strong but gentle. His fingers slip deep into my pussy and I can’t deny how right he is anymore. His lips slide down to my breasts and I breathe deep, enjoying him touching me and letting his mouth work its magic. When he goes back for my neck, this time the pain is gone; it is only pleasure as his fangs rip into me and his fingers move below. I orgasm as he drinks and I know that there is no darkness that can tear us apart.

  Riding the shockwaves drives me wild, but eventually he stops drinking and his eyes meet mine. It is slow, like his fingers, which have come nearly to a halt, and then he licks his lips and runs his tongue along his fangs. Knowing he just drank from me and seeing them extended like this, I sigh and lose myself in his embrace. He smiles, half dangerous and half sweet, and then his fingers are gone completely; he positions himself between my legs and now he takes the spot where his hand just was. The hardness teases me and I wrap my legs around his waist, giving him full access to me. Slowly, he pushes inside of me and then we are one. The entrance makes me gasp, pure joy filling me as he thrusts into the heat between my legs.

  Having Alec inside of me is better than I could have imagined and I have imagined it frequently. His body rocks with mine and our rhythm seems perfectly timed; we connect in every way and I feel myself giving in to him with not only my body but with my mind as well. He holds me so that I do not fall and I ride him, the heat of our bodies more than compensating for the chill of the stony church. I dig my fingers into his back and he slides even deeper inside of me. He fills me and I slide along him, the pleasure and the sensations overcoming both of us.

  “Nora, you are beautiful,” he says and he watches me as I feel the bliss rip through every nerve ending. I bite my lip as the orgasm begins and he holds me tighter as my body tenses and then turns to liquid. I lose all sense of time and space as wave after wave crashes over me, but my eyes never leave his. The emerald buoys keep me balanced as I s
uccumb to him. When I feel the shocks start to lessen, he clutches me and we begin moving again. He grows rough and bites into my neck; his hands, holding my ass in the air, dig into my soft flesh. He lifts me and turns around, putting me down on the pew, mounting me. Alec takes my legs and places my feet on his shoulders and he thrusts into me, his cock burying deep inside. The push is intense, and I think of the first time he touched me. He spoke of being more than a fuck in the dirt, but the animal side of him is taking over and he is no longer calling me beautiful or speaking at all. His eyes have grown ravenous and I see his body tense as he fucks me. The sweetness may be gone, but the ecstasy has only increased. I come again, this time feeling as hungry as he appears to be.

  “Oh yes Alec. Fuck me hard,” I scream. He obliges, the sounds coming from him feral and instinctual; I watch him thrusting into me, his focus on nothing but the carnal sensations that ravish his body and rip through mine. Our bliss echoes off the stone walls and leads me to greater sensual joy. The thrill grows to be too much and my head drops back, my mind emptied of all but the push of him deep into my body, the cadence of our rocking tipping me over the edge. Soon, after the passion has annihilated all sense, we come together, our sweaty limbs tangled. He leans back, in all of his primitive masculinity, like a wolf howling at the moon; I watch the orgasm sweep over his face as I feel it through his body as well. He is perfect and I realize I would not say no to him, no matter what he asked of me. There is nowhere I will not go.

  “Nora,” he cries as the final throes shudder through us both. He falls on top of me and we each slow our breathing, the night and reality beginning to form anew around us.

  I don’t know when I fall asleep, but I wake in the middle of the night on the pew. The chill aches through my naked body and I gather my clothes. I don’t see Alec anywhere and my first emotion is irritation until I see him sitting by the window. I knew that our passion was greater than one night, but a part of me worried for a moment that it was just sex for him. Seeing him there is new comfort; he loves me, I realize. He is dressed and awake but he looks agitated. I finish dressing and go to him.