Bitter Fruits

by Daltry, Sarah

  “Why are you sitting here?” I ask.

  “I cannot stay much longer, but I didn’t want to leave you,” he says. “I need to keep you safe.”

  I run a hand through his hair and look at him. He does not look tough or evil or intense or any of the things I had thought he was; instead, he looks like a scared boy. I know he says he is as old as mankind but he does not appear much different than any college guy. Right now, he just looks like a boy who is worried about losing his girl to something he can’t fight. I want to comfort him, but he won’t tell me what we are facing and I can’t fight what I don’t know.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I have risked your life and I’m sorry. I promised myself I would never fall in love again, but that night... I can’t resist you, Nora. I only wish you did not feel the same.” His broken heart is evident in his face, but I refuse to let him take responsibility for this. We both fell in love and he can’t be blamed for my emotions, just as I can’t control his. There is nothing to apologize for, and there is no going back.

  “You couldn’t stop me from falling in love with you. I told you I would go willingly wherever we need to go. I still will, but you need to tell me what is happening,” I demand.

  “Soon. It is growing lighter and I must return. Let me walk you back to your dorm.”

  He walks me through the night and, in front of my dorm, he brushes two fingers over the holes he left in my neck when he drank from me. It feels so intimate, and I can’t help but laugh at the thought after the full-on ravaging I just experienced in the church. Alec kisses the spot where he bit me before his lips move to my lips. The hunger is gone, but I know it is brewing again. It will not be long before I need to have him as I did hours before; for now, though, we kiss under the night sky and I pretend everything about this is normal. It is too late to have second thoughts.

  6.

  Henry is in a rage. I don’t know why, because I don’t belong to him nor did I give him any reason to think I was actually going to stop seeing Alec. I mean, other than saying I would wait. But, give me a break - what girl picks her professor/roommate’s boyfriend over the incredibly gorgeous guy she’s seeing? How was I supposed to know he was a vampire?

  So, Henry is angry and that means Scarlet is also angry. She forces me out of the door with the instruction of “handle this,” and I am stuck trying to decide what to do. I don’t even want to go to his office to talk about what he learned, but it is that or Scarlet freezing me out endlessly. The chill in the air is not as crisp this afternoon and I try to enjoy the walk, knowing that I am heading into a hive. What a hive it is, too. Henry’s office is a disaster area. Papers fly loose around the room, books are open on the desk and chairs, and he is hidden in a closet, behind file cabinets that could put the university library to shame for document storage.

  “Hello?” I call. He moves from the closet, sending more papers flying.

  “Do you know what you have done?” The greeting is harsh, but somewhat comical given our surroundings. I bite back a laugh, knowing it won’t help the situation.

  “Clearly no.” I brace myself for a lecture, but Henry doesn’t lecture. Instead, he shakes his head and worry creases his forehead.

  “Why did you go?”

  “Because I care for him. How did you even know?”

  “Scarlet said you’d gone out, that she thought there was a guy. You haven’t exactly been stealthy.”

  “Okay, so what’s the problem? Why do you care?” I ask. “What does it have to do with you?”

  “You have engaged in a war. I do not suppose that you will be fighting this war alone, which means you have also engaged me in a war.”

  “A war against what?” I push papers and books off a chair and sink into it. I am too tired to even talk of a war, never mind fight one. I got very little sleep last night, with the exception of maybe an hour in the church and then the couple hours between dawn and Scarlet waking me with an angry Henry on the phone. I can’t imagine anything new has happened since last night, but then I remember that Alec has still left a great deal of information out of our conversations. Sick of riddles, I start to gather the papers at my feet into a neat pile. Might as well make myself useful. Moping about and hoping for answers hasn’t worked yet.

  “Haven’t you listened to a word I have said in class lately?”

  I sigh. I wish I had brought coffee. This is getting to be too much. “Henry, lately in class we have been talking about the Bible. What, exactly, does the Bible have to do with me or Alec or anything?”

  “Did he tell you what he is?” He asks, but I know that he knows something already. What was in the papers I gave him? I read them several times myself and none of this was obvious to me.

  The hairs on the back of my neck prickle under his interrogation. I’m not sure I should share Alec’s secret with anyone, but then, I suppose the entire world has gone crazy. What is one more ridiculous story? Henry knows something is wrong; the only way that he will tell me what he learned of Charles Samuels is if I tell him what I know in return. If I’m going to save Alec and fix whatever is broken with Henry, I need that knowledge.

  “He said he is like a vampire, although not a vampire, from the dawn of time.”

  “That didn’t strike you as strange?” He moves some papers aside and leans against his desk, less than a foot away from me.

  I remember the feeling of Alec’s hands on me, his kiss, and the way he drank from me. I’m in deep and there is nothing I can do about it now. “Of course I found it strange. He has fangs and drinks blood. That is the epitome of strange.”

  “It didn’t cross your mind to, maybe, I don’t know, get out of there?”

  “Alec’s sweet,” I reply. I don’t hesitate to defend him, because I told him I trusted him and I do. All of this other stuff? Well, it doesn’t change Alec. Henry is also part of the campus vampire fan club, so he is the last person to lecture me about running away from this world. Besides, he obviously has more information about Alec, about this situation. I just need to find out what it is.

  “He’s immortal,” Henry sighs. “He is also part of a story that has its roots in the early days of humanity. Finally, he is also going to die. ‘Sweet’ is really neither here nor there.”

  This wipes away my sullenness. “He is not going to die. Not if I have anything to say about it.”

  Henry kneels in front of me and takes my hands. Although he isn’t much older than I am and is dating my roommate, he feels like my father in this moment. The look he gives me adds to that feeling. I know he is going to lecture me, but I don’t want to hear it. I need his help, not his concern, but I don’t want to push him away.

  “Nora, dear, you are a young girl. You cannot face the forces of darkness and expect to defeat them. If there is to be any hope, you need an army.”

  “So find me an army,” I tell him.

  “And how do you propose I do that?” Henry asks.

  “I don’t know and I don’t care. You obviously have information, but you won’t tell me what it is. Alec just mutters about darkness when I bring it up. I refuse to let him die but someone needs to tell me what I am supposed to do to stop it.” I stand up and place the stack of papers I’ve been holding on Henry’s desk. I’m fighting tears, but I refuse to cry; girls who defend men they love against evil don’t cry about it. At least not in front of their professors. Henry doesn’t rise when I do; he only looks up at me sadly, as if I am already dead to him. I can’t take the sympathy without a solution. I want to know what he learned from his colleague these past few days, but I also need to get out of this office and I need to think. The walls are closing in and the bitterness in my mouth grows sour.

  “Nora-” Henry starts, but it’s all wrong. His voice tells me he has already given up and I can’t bear to hear about fate or destiny, unless someone has a plan for changing its course.

  “I’m done here. Alec is kind and sweet and he is not going to die. I don’t care what myths or stories
say; in this case, they are all wrong.”

  I storm out of his office feeling superior until I get into the hall. Away from Henry, the reality of what he is saying, of what Alec has told me, starts to sink in. What am I doing? Henry is right; I can’t fight supernatural forces from as far back as the Bible. I can barely pass statistics! I don’t know where to go, whom to turn to, and I debate about running back to Henry and asking him to save me from myself. That won’t solve anything, though, because his solution will be to let Alec face his death alone. It may have only been a week, but there is something about Alec; I feel like something brought us together for a reason, that maybe I can save him. It’s probably arrogance, because how many years of human history have passed? What makes me, a 22-year-old girl from Delaware, think that I can change something that has never been changed since man began? Yet, despite all evidence to the contrary, I do think I can; I just need to be pointed in the right direction.

  I jump when a hand brushes the back of my neck. I turn and Caleb, along with all of his danger and desire, stands behind me. He smirks, seeing that he has accomplished his goal of catching me off guard. The dark hall of the academic building seems to glow where he is standing, and I take a deep breath, warning myself not to find him attractive. When his lip curls up in an actual smile, though, my body stops listening to my mind. I really wish I could turn it off when it comes to Caleb; I know he is wrong for me, that he and his brother do not get along. Knowing that Alec sees him as a threat doesn’t help, either, but still my nerves seem to react to his body as he gets closer.

  “I always seem to find you talking to that professor of yours. Should I warn someone of ethical violations?”

  “He’s dating my roommate,” I reply. “And I am dating your brother.”

  “Dating. That is such a silly word,” he teases, closing the gap between us completely and running a hand along my neck to the back of my head, his fingers lacing their way into my hair. “My brother is lucky but he is also stupid. I don’t suppose he warned you-”

  “He told me everything,” I say.

  “I sincerely doubt that. I also sincerely doubt that you will be any different from his last failed love affair. Mortals are weak and none weaker than a woman in love.”

  I may just be a college girl and I may be naive, a little stupid, and in over my head. However, no one calls me weak and I stomp on Caleb’s foot, breaking free of his hold. He groans and looks at me, surprise mixing with admiration in his expression.

  “Don’t call me weak. Your brother seems to be convinced that he will die, unless he finds someone, so how about you help me?” I ask.

  “You really don’t know, do you?” His amusement irritates me and makes me feel like a child.

  “Know what?”

  “Why on earth would I help you prevent my brother from being killed when I am the one to kill him?”

  I stare at him, anger, misery, and hopelessness all fighting for control of my emotions. Anger, as always, wins and I lean closer to him. “You will not hurt him. Perhaps you both think I am just some stupid little girl, but I will stop you even if it kills me.”

  He grabs me and holds me against him. My body fits into his even better than it fits against Alec’s, but I tell myself that it doesn’t matter. His hands are fire along my spine and I yearn for him to keep touching me, even when his words rip me apart. “Oh, it will kill you. It will kill both of you. But I promise you, Nora, I will make sure you enjoy yourself before death comes for you.” His lips bear down on mine and his tongue moves into my mouth. My body fights the screaming in my brain and gives in to his touch. I know that I am not weak, but Caleb has power over me that I cannot fight. He grows rigid against me and neither of us seems able to break from the embrace. The kiss continues and I wonder how long we can go on like this. Both of our hands are desperate, seeking solace from each other, and I can’t stop touching him even while my heart tells me I must. When he pulls away, I am breathless. He smiles, as if the kiss meant nothing to him, but there is doubt or fear in his eyes. Something changed for him when he kissed me. He shakes it free and steps back. “Now, run along. I have some business with your professor.”

  I do as I am told, snarky retorts forming as I walk away. I should have bitten him instead of letting the attraction get away from me. I look back over my shoulder as I get to the corner and see him watching, but the smirk is gone. In its place is a palpable agony. I remind myself that he is cruel and refuse to give him the satisfaction of concern. A voice in my head says that I was shocked, which is why I didn’t fight him off of me; the other voice telling me that the kiss was perfect goes ignored as I leave the building and face the autumn day.

  ****

  I’m reading my Biblical study guide when Scarlet rushes into the room; tears make it hard for her to see and she stumbles against her dresser before falling onto her bed. I don’t know what to say until she turns to me, trying to speak through her sobs.

  “He’s gone,” she says.

  “Who’s gone?” I put my book aside. Before she even confirms it, I know this has something to do with my argument with Henry.

  “Henry. He said you were coming to see him, that he might be a while, so I went by a couple hours later. We were supposed to do something. There was no one there at his office and no one has seen him. His things were missing, though. His cell goes to voicemail, but Henry wouldn’t stand me up without an explanation. He just wouldn’t.”

  The problem is that Scarlet is right. If we were talking about some guy she hooked up with after a frat party, as our conversations have tended in the past, I would pull out a pint of ice cream and help her cry out her feelings. Henry is different, though; he is not only too responsible to abandon Scarlet without a word, but he also cares for her and wouldn’t want to hurt her like this. I run through my conversation with him several times. He was upset with me and warned me, but he gave no inclination of fighting this war he spoke of by himself. Instead, he tried to get me to walk away. Then I remember Caleb threatening to talk with Henry, which places the burden of finding him on me. If Caleb hurt him, it’s my fault; my actions brought us to this point. Without revealing anything to Scarlet, I find a hoodie and head into the night. I suppose vampires or whatever Alec and Caleb are don’t communicate via cell phone, hence why my meetings with them both have been sporadic and random. The only place I can think of to start is the church and I push my hands into the pockets of my sweatshirt and move forward.

  There are no signs of anyone at the church; in fact, it almost looks as if a hundred years have passed since Alec made love to me last night. I yank the wooden door open with a vigorous tug and enter the sanctuary. It is futile, I know, but I have to look. Anyway, staying in my dorm room means listening to Scarlet vacillate between crying and yelling about Henry; the lonely hoots of owls are better than that. I sit on the pew and think about everything I know; neither brother has given me anything to work with and I feel frustrated and a little bit used. They both talk a lot about the risks that knowing them entails and they take my promises, but neither shares anything with me in return. How am I supposed to save anyone if I don’t even know my role? By the time someone enters the church, I am feeling bitter.

  I spin around and see Alec silhouetted by the night. He looks beautiful but I remind myself that I’m mad at him. He misses my pout and I have to fight not to smile when he rushes to me and pulls me in for a kiss. It is easy to forget everything when I am with Alec. I want to give in to him, to have a repeat of the previous night, but worry over Henry stops me. Flustered, I break away.

  “Wait, no. This is important. No kissing,” I say, but it does not stop his mouth. I manage somehow to get free and Alec looks sad.

  “Please? We have all night. A little kissing maybe?” He is cute when he begs and I wish I could deny him, but I want him just as bad. I try to say no but his lips wake my body and I am underneath him before I can argue. He works his hands under my hoodie and I’m amazed at how Alec can make me feel
sexy in anything I wear. Somehow, though, I think of Scarlet and reason finally kicks in, for the first time since I met him. I hate myself for stopping, but I must.

  “Stop, seriously,” I plead.

  He does and looks at me, both curiosity and the sting of rejection in his eyes.

  “Don’t think I don’t want you,” I say, “because I do.” I hold his hands, sitting up and adjusting myself. “I came here, though, because I need your help. Also your phone number.”

  “I don’t have a phone,” he says.

  “Of course you don’t. Well then, we need a bat signal or something, because I am not going to creep into abandoned churches every time something goes wrong. Or wait for you to do your magical appearing act.” I don’t understand; would it really be so hard, ancient or not, to get a basic mobile plan? Small children in the mall have phones.

  “You’re angry with me tonight,” he observes.

  I shake my head. “No,” I say, softening my tone. “I’m not. I’m angry at the world. Why is it that I go to a party, meet a wonderful guy, he feels the same, and it turns out that means I’m part of some ancient curse on man? Seriously, my karma sucks.”

  “I love you,” he whispers.

  “I know,” I sigh. I let him kiss me this time because I worry that I’ve hurt his feelings. My natural reaction to any adversity is to be a brat, but I don’t want to ruin something that, as screwed up as it is, could be meaningful. Somehow, I’ve managed to find a guy I love who loves me back, bad attitude and all. He breaks the kiss, obviously yearning for more, but he fights it and slowly links his fingers with mine.

  “What do you need my help with?”

  “Henry’s missing,” I tell him.

  “Henry?” He asks.

  I give him the quick summary and I almost leave out that I saw Caleb, but two things about this afternoon stick with me. “Also, after I left, Caleb was there. The thing is, he said he wanted to talk to Henry... But I wonder-”