Nowhere to Run (Stephanie Carovella)

by Nina D'Angelo

  Rubbing his hands on her back in soothing, circular motions, he crooned, “Babe, it’s going to be okay. Why don’t we just sit here for a little while longer? We’ll go in when you’re ready. Okay?”

  Stephanie raised pain-filled eyes to his, whispering softly, “No Ben, it’s not okay. It’s never going to be okay. We’re never going to be okay again.”

  Ana stood at the front of the church’s doors, watching Ben hold Stephanie close. She smiled sadly. She felt like an interloper. She’d loved Angel as much as any of them, but Ben, Stephanie, Dominic, Jesse and Angel had been the famous five. Together they’d been able to do anything, and everything. They’d been invincible.

  She’d been their tag-along, the latecomer to the group. Now both Dominic and Angel were gone, and there were only three of them left. And, she was still standing on the outside. She was still their tag-along.

  Ben was shutting her out. She knew he loved her in his own way, but it stung her deeply to see him comforting Stephanie. It stung because she needed his support just as much, and he didn’t even realize it. Stephanie needed him and because it was Stephanie he would automatically comfort her without even thinking about her needs. She just wished for once that she’d come first, instead of his friends.

  “You know he loves you,” Jesse said from behind her.

  “Maybe so, but it’s not the same,” she said quietly, crossing her arms across her chest.

  “What do you mean the same?” he questioned, his gaze moving towards Ben and Stephanie stood.

  “As the way he loves her,” she said sadly, not looking at him. “He loves her, you know. He always has.”

  “No Ana, he loves you,” Jesse argued softly.

  Ana nodded in agreement. “Yes I know. He loves me, just not like the way he does her. He’ll never love me the way he loves Stephanie.”

  Turning slightly, she pasted a bright smile on her face. Her smile dimmed at the sight of Jesse in a suit. “That’s a first. The last time I saw you in a suit,” she paused. “I don’t even know the last time I saw you in a suit.”

  Jesse’s smile was grim, tearing his eyes off Ben and Stephanie, he reminded her gently, “It was at Dominic’s funeral.”

  “Dominic’s funeral, of course it was,” Ana whispered, laughing bitterly. “That’s the irony of it, Jesse. Ben loves her and she still loves Dominic. Even after all this time, he’s still the only man she loves. The only man she will ever truly love.” She broke off bitterly, seeing his pained expression.

  Lifting her hand to her mouth, she whispered softly, “Oh Jesse, I’m sorry. I forgot that you love –”

  Jesse shook his head, silencing her. “Ana, Ben knows you’re hurting too but he needs to comfort Stephanie. He feels he has to. I feel the same way, and I know she feels the same need to comfort us. It’s just the bond between us,” he said with a shrug.

  “It’s unbreakable. I know this already. I just wish he wasn’t shutting me out,” Ana said, bitterness creeping back into her voice. “I just wish for damn once, she didn’t come first.”

  Sighing heavily, she shook her head. Turning, she smiled apologetically at Jesse. “I’m sorry Jess. I didn’t mean to sound like the jealous girlfriend, and usually I’m not. It’s just with Ben and Stephanie…” Ana bit out a sob. “I shouldn’t even be reacting like this. Not today, of all days.”

  Jesse wrapped his arms around her, drawing her gently to him. “It’s okay, Ana. You’re allowed to mourn for her, too.”

  Ana nodded, finally letting her tears flow freely. She pressed her face into his chest, her voice small. “I just miss her so damn much, Jesse. It’s so unfair. She shouldn’t have died, not like that.”

  ***

  Stephanie reluctantly pulled herself from Ben’s arms, stepping back to wipe her eyes. She studied the people entering the church, her gaze briefly landing on where Ana and Jesse stood, wrapped up in each other’s arms. Her gaze hardened, before it continued to slide over the mourners. It stopped on where a solitary man stood. Dressed completely in black, he stood apart from everyone else.

  Unable to tear his gaze off him, she nodded her head towards the stranger, asking softly, “Ben, who’s that?”

  “That’s Devlin, Angel’s significant other,” Ben said; his lip curling in disgust.

  “Devlin – I thought Angel was dating someone named Jase,” Stephanie said slowly.

  “She is...She was. Jason Devlin.” He shook his head again. “I still can’t see what she saw in him.”

  Stephanie studied Jase Devlin, assessing him. Tall, dark and handsome, he was exactly the type of man Angel went for. A man who carried himself with a dangerous aura, one which said he wasn’t afraid to take on the world and kick it in the ass.

  “He has an edge about him. He’s street-wise.” Stephanie murmured, almost to herself.

  Ben scowled, not liking the way Stephanie was studying Devlin. “He’s trouble. I told Angel that, but she wouldn’t listen to me.”

  “He looks like trouble,” Stephanie admitted, “But not in the way you mean.”

  Pausing, she smiled softly when Ben’s scowl deepened. “He looks like the kind of man who can take care of himself, and his woman.”

  “Well, obviously not. If that were the case, Angel would still be alive.”

  “What do you mean?” She asked in confusion.

  “Devlin is an ex-cop. He was supposed to be protecting Angel at the very time she was raped and murdered,” Ben spat out, staring at Jase with dislike.

  Stephanie was quick to note the look of dislike Ben shot at Jase Devlin was returned, noticing the man’s change in stance when he recognized Ben.

  “He was supposed to be there?” She asked, returning her gaze to Jase Devlin.

  “Yeah, he was her so-called bodyguard. He’s a hired gun. That’s how they met, and fell in love,” Ben said in disgust.

  “He wasn’t there to protect her?”

  “No. Apparently he fell off the wagon.”

  “He fell off the wagon?” She echoed.

  “He’s an alcoholic. The rumor is he was kicked off the force because of it. Angel thought she could save him from himself. It’s a pity he couldn’t be bothered to save her.”

  Ben shook his head, giving Jase a look of undisguised hatred. His voice rough with emotion, he said, “He has a real nerve showing up here today.”

  “Angel would have wanted him here,” Stephanie whispered, thinking of her best friend.

  Another shot of pain hit her and she slid her hand into Ben’s. She smiled slowly, thinking of the conversation she’d had with Angel about Jase Devlin. She’d seemed so happy with him.

  ***

  “He makes me so happy, Steph,” Angelina said, shaking her blonde hair in surprise.

  “What do Ben and Jesse think of him?”

  Angel wrinkled her nose. “You know them. No one will ever be good enough for us. Ben hates him. He says he doesn’t trust him. Apparently Jase gives him the creeps.”

  “And Jess?” Stephanie asked, smiling at Ben’s reaction.

  She knew Angeline was right. Ben and Jesse would never be happy with any guy they introduced them to.

  “Jess is Jess. He hasn’t exactly been welcoming to Jase, but then he hasn’t exactly given him the cold shoulder either.”

  Angeline shrugged, her eyes darkening in turmoil. “I’ve never known what he was thinking. You’re the only one who knew that. To everyone else, he’s a closed book. Always in control, always keeping a tightly shut lid on what he is thinking and feeling.”

  Stephanie smiled, reaching out to take Angeline’s hand in her own. “Well, you know as long as he makes you happy, Angel, then I’ll be happy for you.”

  ***

  “Stephanie?” Ben’s voice intruded her thoughts.

  “Sorry, I was just thinking,” she said, blinking back tears.

  Ben saw her tears, reaching out to gently brush them away with his finger. “Thinking about Angel again?”

  Nodding, she sai
d, “I was thinking about how happy she was talking about Jase Devlin. He made her happy Ben, and we need to respect this.”

  “You think I don’t know this? I know, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it,” he grumbled, scowling.

  She hugged him close, smiling when he automatically hugged her back. “I know Ben, but this is Angel’s day. It’s our formal goodbye to her. Let’s not let anything ruin it.”

  Seeing his deepening scowl, as he stared back at Jase Devlin, she added, “Please, for me?”

  Ben took in her pleading look and nodded at her. “I will, for Angel and for you.” He conceded.

  Holding out his hand, Ben said, “Shall we go in?”

  Taking a deep breath, she nodded, slipping her hand into his.

  ***

  Jase surveyed the mourners walking through the church gates. They were hypocrites. Half the people here hadn’t bothered with Angel while she was alive. Some of them had even treated her with contempt, others had backstabbed her. Now that she was dead, they were milling into the church, as if they were her best friends. In reality, there were only a handful of friends who loved her for who she was.

  Ben Reynolds was one of them, he admitted grudgingly. He watched Ben hold the statuesque redhead close to him. He briefly wondered how the lovely Ana would react to the obvious intimacy between the two of them. Watching Ben stroke the woman’s back, he smiled sardonically. Anyone could see the two of them were lovers, and if they weren’t then they certainly had been at one time or another. He wondered who she was.

  Seeing her stiffen and turn her face towards him, he instantly recognized Stephanie Carovella, Angel’s best friend. He knew her from the photos Angel had littered around her home. He knew her or, at least, he felt like he did.

  Angel had told him so much about the woman now watching him. Stephanie Carovella had been Dominic Delaney’s first and only real great love. She was Jesse Carlisle’s ex-girlfriend and at one time had been Ben Reynolds’ lover.

  The only one, of the self-proclaimed famous five, to break free from the group, to pursue her own dreams, her own career, and her own life away from them. She was the only one who had ever had the strength to walk away from it all.

  Stephanie Carovella was an enigma, a mystery to many, even most of her closest friends. She held herself with an inner strength which, on this darkest day, was evident.

  He realized she was studying him back, analyzing him as intently as he was her. He nodded his head in acknowledgement. Angel had told him she was an investigative reporter. Her specialty was criminal reporting and at one time she’d been on the rise straight to the top. She’d been the L.A Times’ best investigative Journalist before she walked away from it all six months ago.

  She’d quietly sold her apartment, quit her job and left, letting only a handful of friends know where she was. Now she was back, back for Angel’s funeral.

  Seeing the steely determination in her eyes, as she met his gaze unwaveringly, he knew it wasn’t going to be so simple. In fact, he’d bet everything he owned that Stephanie had no intention of leaving until she found out what had happened to Angel.

  Watching Ben lead her into the church, he smiled grimly. Instinct told him Stephanie Carovella was going to be trouble.

  Chapter Seven

  Gena Evans surveyed the people gathered to mourn Angeline Monroe with a sad smile. Everyone Angel had made contact with in her life was here to mourn her. She, herself, was here as a friend first and a Detective second.

  Here, as a friend, because it was Angel who had helped her adjust to Californian living when she’d moved here from New York at the tender age of 17. They’d lived across the hall from each other during the first year of their university years before Stephanie, Angel, their friend Lyn and she had moved in together to an off-campus apartment. Angel had made her feel like she belonged somewhere. She’d introduced her to new friends, and lessened the ache of leaving New York behind.

  Secondly, she was here, as a Detective because there was no telling who might turn up to the funeral. For all she knew, one of Angel’s mourners could be her killer.

  Smiling sadly, she watched Ben Reynolds and his girlfriend Ana Ferrier move forward to throw dirt onto the coffin.

  Dropping her gaze to the ground, she raised her head only when a hand touched her shoulder. She turned her head to see Jesse Carlisle standing beside her. Her own hand covered his silently, before she turned her head back to stare into the fiery gaze of Stephanie Carovella.

  Stephanie stood in front of Angeline’s coffin, staring down at the rich, brown dirt she held in her hand. “I promise you Angel, I’ll make him pay. I will find whoever did to this to you, and send him straight to hell. Believe in me, as you always have,” she whispered angrily, throwing the dirt onto the coffin.

  “I’ll make him pay Angel, and no one will stop me,” she vowed, lifting her head to meet Gena Evans’ gaze. She returned it steadily, refusing to break the icy silence between them. She smiled coolly when Gena broke her gaze, leaning over to whisper fiercely to Jesse. She tensed, feeling someone’s eyes on her. Skimming the crowd, her eyes met and clashed with Jase Devlin’s, who stood watching her intently.

  Nodding her head towards him, she turned and walked towards Ben and Ana, feeling his heated gaze following her every movement. She resisted the urge to turn her head and look back at him.

  ***

  “She came then,” Gena said, turning away from Stephanie’s fiery gaze.

  “Did you ever doubt she would? Angel was her sister, a kindred spirit,” Jesse answered, giving her a gentle smile.

  “How long does she plan on staying?” Gena asked, noticing for the first time the dark circles under Jesse’s eyes, and how exhausted he looked. She wondered if he was sleeping.

  “Are you asking as a Detective or a friend?” Jesse asked warily.

  “Still the protective lover I see,” she commented with a mocking smile.

  “As an ex-lover,” he reminded her.

  Yes, but for how long? She wondered silently. Aloud, she asked exasperated, “You didn’t answer my question, Jesse.”

  He shrugged, saying simply, “You know Stephanie.”

  She groaned at his answer, meshing her teeth together in frustration. “Yes, I damn well know Stephanie. I know her better than she knows herself sometimes. It’s because I know her that I’m asking you this. Please tell me she’s leaving as soon as the funeral is over.”

  He grinned broadly, flashing, white, even teeth. Bumping Gena’s shoulder gently, he said teasingly, “Like you said, you know Steph. She never tells anyone what she’s planning. She’s always done what she’s wanted and to hell with the consequences.”

  “That’s exactly what I’m afraid of,” she growled, bumping Jess back with her shoulder. Linking her arm with his, she asked softly, “You really don’t know what she’s thinking?”

  Jesse ran a hand through his dark brown hair; frustration in his voice. “Hell Gena, no one knows what she’s thinking or feeling. The only person who ever did was Dominic.”

  Gene swallowed hard, a lump developing in her throat and her chest tightly constricting. A ripple of grief streamed through her at the thought of Dominic Delaney. Taken too young, his death had left a gaping hole in their group. Charismatic and too good-looking for his own damn good, Dominic always had a wallop of the devil in him. He’d been Stephanie’s husband, lover and soul mate. The love of her life, he’d been her complete heart and soul until the day she quit their marriage and left him without any explanation. To this day, Gena couldn’t understand why Stephanie had just walked away from it all.

  She flicked her eyes over Jesse again. She didn’t miss the way he followed Stephanie’s every movement and her mouth tightened in annoyance. Realizing she was watching, Jesse turned his head back towards her, his expression now guarded, making her curl her lip into a snarl.

  Her eyes narrowing, she turned her attention back to where Stephanie stood with Ben, feeling her own pain turn to intens
e fury. “Dominic knew her so damn well because he was usually thinking the same thing. She was his female version – two halves fitting perfectly together,” Gena spat out, anger inflected in her voice. “Like him, she’s reckless and like him, once she gets something into her head nothing or no one will change her mind.” Her fury revealed itself in her eyes, as she spat out, “And, like him, she’s going to get herself killed.” She sighed again. “She hasn’t said anything to you?”

  Jesse shrugged carelessly. “Like I said, Stephanie never tells me what she’s planning. She stopped including me in her life the day she left L.A.”

  Gena frowned, opening her mouth to argue, but Jesse intercepted her. “No, that’s not even right. The day Dominic died, she stopped. All those walls I fought so hard to break down went right back up again. It’s like I ceased being important to her. As soon as Dom died, she stopped caring or feeling anything. She shut down completely.”

  Gena bit her lip as guilt flooded through her. She wished she could ignore his last remarks. “You’re telling me she hasn’t tried to pump you for every bit of information she can get, regarding Angel’s death?”

  Jesse smiled in amusement at her. “Now Gena, why would she need to do that when she has the crime scene report and photos?” He drawled. His smile widened when Gena spat out a string of curses.

  “She hasn’t spoken to you about Angel’s death at all?” Gena asked unevenly, glaring furiously at Stephanie.

  “Oh, you mean like finding out who killed Angel and making them pay?”

  “Yes, Jesse, just like that,” she groaned aloud, ignoring the dark glares Angel’s parents shot her.

  He nodded reluctantly, swinging an arm around her shoulder. “Now that you mention it, Gena, she might have said something about it. I don’t blame her though, I feel the same way.”

  Gena knocked his arm off her shoulder, hissing out between clenched teeth, “Damn it Jesse.”