Rush

by Gina Gordon

  “I’m sure you have it all under control.”

  “Are you comfortable with this?” He looked at me with nervousness. It wasn’t a look he wore often, so when he did, I knew it meant something. He hadn’t been kidding yesterday when he said he wanted to show me a sex scene, and I was damn curious.

  “Definitely. When will I ever get this opportunity again? But I totally don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of our deal. I mean…I doubt you take people on set all the time, especially girlfriends, I can see how they—” Oh, shit. “I mean girls who are friends…not girlfriends. You know—” My mouth snapped shut when his palm cupped my cheek.

  “Everly…”

  “I didn’t mean to say girlfriend. I don’t presume I’m yours, I just meant—”

  “Breathe.”

  He was so big. He took up all the space around me, so much so that I felt like I couldn’t breathe, despite his direction, because he was stealing all the air around me.

  Things were always so much easier when he was on his own side of the room. Or car. Anywhere, really. But now, with him right in my personal space, I’d forgotten what it meant to be logical. For someone who thrived on logic, who banked on using it to build a career, it just wasn’t a good combination.

  I did as he asked and took a deep breath. “I want to see what you do.”

  And I wanted to see people have sex in real life. Max was opening up a whole new world. Not just one where I actually did things that I wanted to do, but a world of pleasure. Of bliss. A world where people gave in to their baser instincts and just let go.

  I didn’t know how to do that. Maybe, if I spent enough time in his world, I could learn.

  “Are you positive?” He pulled me closer. “You might get so turned on that you have your wicked way with me.”

  I grinned. “And you’d have a problem with that?”

  He winked. “It’s what I’m counting on.”

  My stomach twirled. Did he—

  “Max, Everly…” Ben placed his camcorder on the breakfast bar, which overlooked the great room. “We’re just about to get started.” He clapped Max on the shoulder and gave me a wide smile. “Lacey wants to talk to you for a minute.” He gestured with his chin to the blond who was getting her hair and makeup done.

  Max turned to me and squeezed my hand. “Give me a minute?”

  I nodded. “Of course.”

  “Ben will show you around. Give you the details of how this all works.”

  Although we’d kind of met that night at the café, I was shocked that Ben felt so comfortable around me, like he already knew me. Did that mean Max had been talking about me?

  “Isn’t this a great place?” Ben asked. “I’m not much for the city, but if I had to live here, I’d want this view.”

  “It’s pretty spectacular.”

  I looked out onto the city. One wall of windows looked out over Lake Ontario and the other over the city. The CN Tower stood strong and proud in the distance in between other condo and business high-rises.

  The view might be great, but I was a suburban girl at heart. I loved my house, loved my quiet neighborhood and local grocery store. While this place was nice for an evening, it wasn’t somewhere I’d want to live permanently.

  Ben took me around the condo, showing me his equipment, introducing me to the cast and crew. It wasn’t until we were face-to-face that I noticed the actor filming the scene was the “hottest porn star alive”—the same guy I had admired that day in my living room when I scoured the White Lace website with Sadie and Grace. Heat rushed up from my neck when I shook his hand. I couldn’t help it. I wasn’t embarrassed, but it was weird that even though he was fully clothed, I knew what he looked like naked. More importantly, I knew what his penis looked like erect.

  “Nice to meet you,” I squeaked out. He flipped his hair out of his eye and grinned. He looked a lot younger in person. He looked…my age.

  “Everly, are you blushing?” Ben asked.

  Shit! Shit! Shit!

  “I…” I cleared my throat, trying to maintain some kind of dignity. “I’ve just seen your work.”

  “Sweet.” He winked. “I hope you enjoy the show.”

  Hot guy left us and headed for the corner of the room, where he did push-ups against the wall.

  Next, Ben took me to the kitchen, where an older woman unwrapped large trays of food. He sidled up to her and stole a carrot from the tray. “This is Aida. She’s our set mother. She’s in charge of the food and drinks. She keeps us nourished. Isn’t that right, Aida?”

  She waved him off, as if unwrapping the food was more important than anything Ben had to say.

  Aida looked about the same age as my mother and I wondered if she was a former porn star.

  Just before the games were about to begin, Max got a call and stepped into the hallway. It didn’t stop Ben from calling, “Action.”

  I watched, and I squirmed. Max had been right. Watching two people who were in sync was mesmerizing. Just like them, I forgot where I was. For a moment, I forgot who I was, because every time the actor’s tongue slid across her pussy, I felt it on my own. Every time he thrust into her mouth and she took his cock deep, I felt the bump at the back of my throat. I leaned over the breakfast bar, pressing my stomach into the counter. I wasn’t into voyeurism—at least I didn’t think I was—but this was turning me on.

  “Are you turned on yet?”

  I shot up. Max’s voice sounded over my shoulder. I hadn’t noticed him return. But now, no longer engrossed, I felt his warmth behind me, the nuzzle against my neck.

  He arms snaked around me and clamped together against my pelvis, pulling me hard to his body. I gasped, then squirmed, trying to weasel my way out of his grip, but he held me tight.

  I looked from the actors to the crew; to Ben, who had his face buried in the camera; to the makeup artist, who was now more interested in her smartphone.

  “If I swipe my fingers between your thighs, will they be wet?”

  I sucked in a breath. My body was on fire. At least its what I imagined being on fire would feel like, overwhelming heat and searing, blinding sensation—only this felt good.

  His hands found my thighs and he used his knee to nudge my legs open. Gently, he glided his hands between my legs. Even though the thick fabric of my jeans blocked him, I still felt the zing against my clit.

  “Did you like when he licked her pussy?” He’d missed all the foreplay. Right now the couple in front of me were on their second sex position. But he damn well knew what I liked, considering it was what I singled out yesterday. “Was he good at it?”

  “I…I think so.” He’d gone to town on her flesh, moaning, groaning, and licking with fervor.

  “Would you like him to lick your pussy?”

  I shook my head. Even if he did know what he was doing, even if he had the skill to bring me to orgasm in five seconds, there was only one mouth I wanted between my thighs. It was the same mouth that now peppered open-mouth kisses along my neck and shoulders.

  “That’s right.” He pressed his hands to the juncture of my thighs. “Because this pussy is mine.”

  I moaned, and dropped my chest to the counter, spreading my arms out to the side. The granite was cool against my cheek.

  “And I can do what I want with it.”

  His hard-on nudged my ass, but that hardness was overpowered when his fingers gripped the waist of my jeans. He reached around, undoing the button and sliding down the zipper. I even heard the low tick, tick, tick above the screams of ecstasy on the couch in front of me.

  He pulled them down, along with my panties, until they were around my knees.

  My breath caught in my throat. I knew all it would take was one shift of a head or dart of an eye for people to see us, but I didn’t care. All that mattered was the ache between my thighs and how Max was going to sate it.

  He gripped the strands of my hair and lifted my head, whispering in my ear, “Forget what your brain is telling you. Just
listen to the sound of my voice and focus on my touch.”

  My eyes darted from one end of the room to the other, furiously trying to find out if someone was watching us. But they weren’t. No one cared. There was already sex going on in the room, and even if they did notice, it wouldn’t matter. Not to these people. Watching people fuck was just another day on the job. I would be just another naked body.

  But I was still nervous.

  I heard the jingle of his belt, the rip of a condom wrapper, and then he was inside me. I made a guttural noise that originated in my belly, getting louder with each inch he pushed inside me. He clamped his hand across my mouth to keep me quiet as he continued his slow assault. His actions were the exact opposite of what was going on in front of me.

  On the couch, the fucking was fast and furious. Skin slapping, grunting and groaning, sweaty bodies, and hairlines.

  But Max took his time. He fucked me so thoroughly, so deeply, the blood in my veins boiled to the point of wanting to break free of my skin just to cool down.

  He continued to thrust and although he went slow, my stomach still thumped against the counter. I knew I’d be bruised the next day. The idea of my body being marked because of sex only heightened my pleasure.

  “That’s it, baby.” Somehow, he knew my body better than I did. “Lose control.”

  Maybe it was the grip he had on my hair that caused my brain to shut down. Maybe it was the feeling of his cock pulsing between my legs. Whatever the case, I did as he’d asked. I fisted my hands on the counter and squeezed my legs tighter, increasing the friction of his cock pulsing in and out, and I lost control.

  He leaned down, pressing his mouth to my shoulder, linking his hands with mine. He brought our arms in, curling them into my breasts, but he continued to pump. He built me higher and higher, closer and closer until with one quick movement I was erect, my back pressing against his front. I placed my palms on the granite and pushed back, meeting his thrusts with my own.

  That seemed to get him excited. He groaned, placing his palm around my neck, holding me in place against him. The diminished circulation to my brain numbed my body, making his actions even more gratifying.

  It only took a few more thrusts and my orgasm smashed into me with the force of an asteroid. And it’s exactly what it felt like, my body exploding into a million different shards, getting lost in the oblivion.

  “Fuck, yeah,” he grunted behind me. This time when he pulled my hair, I craned my neck and our mouths met, our lips tangling together. With one last thrust, he grunted his pleasure into my mouth. His hand twitched against my hip and I felt him shudder behind me.

  His lips fell away and found their way to my shoulders, his warm breath tickling my skin. When his grip loosened in my hair, I fell forward, letting my forehead rest on the cool granite.

  In the distance, I heard clapping and shouting. Ben’s voice finally registered. “And the award for best female performance of the year goes to…”

  I blinked, trying my best to focus my vision. When I opened my eyes, everyone involved in the filming of the scene had their eyes in my direction. Ben grinned like a Cheshire cat. Lacey and the hottest porn star who ever lived were lounging on the couch, but watched with smiles and appreciative eyes.

  “Everly, you sure you don’t want to star in your own scene?”

  Heat rushed up my neck and spread through my cheeks, but I wasn’t embarrassed. Two weeks ago, Everly Parker would have run into the other room and locked herself in until everyone left.

  Before you met Max, you’d never do something like this.

  But I felt confident. Strong in my sexuality. While I wouldn’t go so far as to say I would make porn, I certainly got the rush. The elevated desire at the prospect of being caught, of being watched. Of enjoying it. Because it was fun. Because it felt good.

  Before we left the condo, Max took out the bucket list and placed a checkmark beside one more item.

  Give yourself permission to lose control.

  I’d given myself permission all right. Although Max had made it possible, and Max had made it acceptable. For some reason, it was easier to let myself go with a man like him. That realization was disheartening. I didn’t purposely think of him as beneath me, but the fact that he worked in the sex trade made it less intimidating to like sex, to revel in the pleasure and bliss and everything that came with it.

  Meeting Max Levin, the most carefree, liberal man I’d ever known had changed something. Suddenly, the strict, responsible, focused, head-down, nose-to-the-grind life I’d been living was knocked off its axis. I was floundering, trying my best to figure out which end was up. I wasn’t this girl. I wasn’t the girl who sat and daydreamed about a guy. But here I was again, struggling to answer the question that had plagued my entire life. Trying to decide between what I want to do and what I have to do.

  Suddenly, for the first time, what I wanted to do was winning.

  Chapter 23

  Max

  Obviously there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for this girl.

  I had agreed to walk into the lion’s den. Or snake pit, depending on how you felt about spending an entire evening with a bunch of lawyers. But she’d come to the gala with me. The least I could do was return the favor.

  I let her lead us into the party—a swanky cocktail event for Sutherland, Sutherland, and Marks at a fancy downtown restaurant just a few blocks from my place. Even though the evening had just begun, I was already imagining all the ways I could introduce her to my bed. Although that would be breaking my rules. I’d never, not once, had a woman in my bed.

  “Tell me again why we’re here?” I leaned down and whispered in her ear, that citrus scent infusing my nostrils, righting everything around me.

  “I need to make nice with the men who own the law firm I’m going to be articling for.”

  The restaurant was dark, the wall sconces doing nothing to illuminate the space, which made it difficult to make out people’s faces. But when Everly stopped short, I followed her gaze. I didn’t need light to know it was her parents standing across the room. To my surprise, she walked us right by.

  “We won’t be staying long,” she said as we sidled up to the bar. I grabbed her a glass of white wine and a scotch for myself. I didn’t plan on drinking much tonight, so nursing a good scotch sounded like a perfect idea.

  “If you’re so insistent on leaving, why did we even come?”

  I didn’t understand this world. I might never understand it.

  “It’s all about appearances. I have to show my face to my future bosses, let them know that I can mingle and mix with the big boys. Plus, they’re my parents’ friends.”

  I shook my head. “You can cut the pretentiousness in this place with a knife.”

  She laughed. As I looked around, all I saw were expensive suits and pearl necklaces. It was a shame that Everly was going to get swallowed whole by this world. But I knew, no matter how many pearls were swathed around her neck, there would always be the lone black one that would come out on occasion. I’d had the pleasure of seeing it firsthand. I couldn’t help but want to make it my mission to darken every one of them.

  Everly gulped down her glass of wine and I waved my hand to the bartender, ordering her another. I rubbed my hand up and down her back, trying my best to calm her nerves. I had no idea why she was so tense. It was just a cocktail party.

  “Everly!” A booming voice carried over my shoulder.

  She turned in my arms and immediately plastered on the fakest smile I’d ever seen.

  “Mr. Marks. Wonderful to see you.”

  She held out her hand and the man shook it, fondling a glass of scotch in his other.

  “So glad you could come tonight. You better get used to events like this. They happen often.”

  She introduced me. “This is my friend Max Levin.” Marks smiled and shook my hand, fairly disinterested in who I was and why I was here. Fine with me.

  “We are so excited for you to begin. We
’re working on some pretty big cases that will extend over your term, and I know, with your background in constitutional law, you will be a great asset.”

  He pointed his index finger on the hand that held his scotch glass at Everly. “This girl is smart as a whip.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Marks. That’s very nice of—”

  “I must go.” He placed his hand on her shoulder. “I see Robert Spencer.”

  “Robert Spencer?” I asked. “The communications mogul?”

  She sighed and turned to hunch over the bar. “That would be the one.”

  “You’re going to be making some very influential friends.”

  “They won’t be my friends. Make no mistake. The contribution I’ll be making will be food and coffee runs, highlighting case law and photocopying. That’s just the way it is.”

  “But you’re too smart for that. He even said so himself.”

  She pressed her hand to my cheek. “Thank you, but it’s normal. You have to learn how to walk before you can run.” She winked. “You should know that, since you’re literally teaching it to me.”

  I had forgotten about our training sessions. They had become less frequent now that sex was involved. Although I didn’t want to give up on following through on my promise.

  Conversation started up at the bar and Everly and I joined in. The two men and one woman were associates at Sutherland, Sutherland, and Marks and would be Everly’s co-workers. The two men shot back four glasses of scotch during the twenty minutes we conversed.

  Most of the stuff they talked about I didn’t understand. Politics and legal cases just weren’t my thing, but need a question answered on profit margins for dildos and male masturbators, I was your man.

  “Max, what do you do?”

  I tensed. I was hoping I could get away without having to discuss my business. At parties like these, I ended up being the monkey that danced around for everyone’s entertainment.

  “I’m Vice President of White Lace Productions.”

  The two men smiled and nodded, but as the seconds passed the smiles faded and realization washed over their face.