Rush

by Gina Gordon

  “The porn company?”

  I nodded.

  “You don’t look like what I imagine the vice president of a porn company would look like,” the woman said.

  She eyed me up and down, her gaze all of a sudden appreciation rather than scrutiny.

  “What exactly do you think—”

  “Maybe you should tell me what sort of things I can expect to be doing as an articling student?” Everly jumped in to save me from getting nasty.

  “Wait a minute. Levin.” Douche number two wagged his finger in recognition. “Your father owns the company. Wasn’t your mother a porn star?”

  Everly squeezed my hand. “Yes, she was. Lana Lane. And she was lovely.” I looked at her and smiled.

  But the two men laughed. One of them mumbled, “Lovely cock rider.”

  The woman leaned forward, placing her hand on my forearm. “You must have had an interesting childhood.”

  “I bet your father fucks all his employees, doesn’t he?” Douche number two opened his pie-hole again.

  Everly gasped.

  “Someone has to test run the merchandise,” the first douche responded. “Isn’t that right?”

  “I bet you saw your mother naked a lot.” The woman continued to psychoanalyze me. “I bet she was highly inappropriate.”

  Trashing my father I could handle. Being a man in this business, you were automatically labeled a pimp, or man whore. My father and I could take the name calling, but they had just brought my mother into the equation, and that I wouldn’t stand for.

  “That’s really none of your business,” Everly responded for me. “I didn’t bring Max here to be grilled by an ignorant—”

  “Everly.” I placed my hand on her shoulder. “I’d like to answer that question.”

  I turned to the two douches and the bitch who eyed me like I was traumatized with haunting memories of my childhood.

  “My mother was a fucking saint and I wouldn’t trade my childhood for anything.”

  Ellie was my only weakness. The only topic that spun my rage from manageable to Hulk proportions. Until a couple of weeks ago.

  I didn’t think I’d ever let anyone far enough into my life to make a difference, but somehow Everly had slipped past my defenses when I wasn’t looking. The longer I let her linger around the fortress of my heart, the more time she had to figure a way inside.

  “My mother was on the parent council, she made my lunch, dropped me off at school every morning, and picked me up every afternoon. She soothed my nightmares…and she also bought me my first box of condoms and taught me more about female anatomy than I care to admit.”

  I had a great childhood, albeit untraditional. I was loved. I was accepted. I was told every day that I was worth something.

  Since my mother had died, I’d lost sight of that. Then the woman standing next to me, the woman with her arm securely around mine, showed up and turned my life upside down. More importantly, made me remember exactly who I was.

  I’m fucking Max Levin.

  And I can do anything.

  Maybe it was my own insecurities standing in my way of taking over. Of believing that I could find a nice girl to settle down with, someone I could love. Someone who would love me back, because that’s what I had grown up believing. But somehow, the industry had tainted that belief. So did the stereotypes. Yet Everly saw the real me. She saw behind the facade and deep into my soul.

  “If you’ll excuse us,” Everly said, taking my hand in hers. “We have some nasty sex to have in the bathroom.” She placed her wineglass on the bar and we walked out together.

  With Everly by my side, I left that party with my head high, and my spirit at ease.

  We brushed past her mother and father on our way out, but we didn’t stop. In fact, we didn’t stop until we were ten blocks away and standing in front of the Concord.

  Once we were inside the privacy of the penthouse, I pulled her close. “I’m sorry I made a scene.”

  She looked up, tears filling her eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t…I thought they’d be…”

  I pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “It’s all right. I’m used to it.”

  But I wasn’t. Not really. Every time some asshole took a shot at me, or my family, it made the hole that much bigger. I was sick of letting it roll off my back.

  I stepped away, pulling my arms free of my jacket and throwing it on the couch. “You know what, I’m not used to it.” I paced the room, from one end of the living area to the other, wearing out a line on the mahogany floor. “I’m more than dildos and cum shots.” I continued my tiny rant. “I’m more than the son of a porn star and a porn producer.” I stopped, looking up at Everly, who seemed a little out of sorts. “I’m more than that.”

  At least I wanted to be more. Spending all this time with Everly made me believe that I could be more. But the one thing I never expected to feel about it was guilt. “And I feel awful.” I slumped into the middle of the couch. “If it was good enough for my dad, why not me?”

  Everly stood by the window and in the soft light that sprinkled in, she looked beautiful. The most beautiful she’d ever been. She was here, in my home, and I was baring my soul. Instead of running away. She walked closer, sitting her tight, perfect ass on the edge of the couch.

  “I’m ashamed. Ashamed that I want more, to be more, do more. This isn’t the life I wanted, it was the life I was given.”

  “I know exactly how you feel.” She placed her hand on my cheek. “I struggle with that every damn day.” She pressed a kiss to my cheek, then my forehead. “You have nothing to be ashamed about. I’m sure your father would understand. He doesn’t seem as unreasonable as my parents.”

  “He’d be devastated. He’s always telling me he built the company for me, so that I could build a legacy. I couldn’t stand to hurt his feelings.”

  “That’s a lot of pressure.”

  “I know you feel it, too. I know you don’t want your future as much as I don’t want mine.”

  She sucked in a breath and her body went rigid. When she opened her mouth to speak, nothing came out. I was a shit head. I had no right to make judgments about her life.

  I hadn’t intended to have a heart-to-heart once we got to my place. I had planned on getting her naked and in my bed within ten seconds of walking through the door. My plan had been foiled by my own pathetic feelings.

  “If you didn’t work for your father, do you know what you would do?”

  I nodded. I looked around the penthouse. The exquisite view. The cream walls and wood floors. I thought of the lobby, and the remodel I would do. I thought of the club, and how there were so many things I could do to get people in the doors. Ben had been right. No one knew how to sell luxury better than I did. I’d lived my whole life in the lap of it. So why not capitalize on that?

  But I had to slow down those hopes. It was just so preposterous. Besides, I wasn’t ready to talk about my dream out loud.

  “And…” she coaxed.

  “Can I just keep that to myself for now?”

  We sat in silence, until she broke it by changing the subject. “So this is your humble abode.”

  She walked to the floor-to-ceiling window. The Concord was only twelve stories high. It was a boutique hotel, not a chain, and its intimate size was part of its appeal. Even though we weren’t high enough to get the best view of the skyline, there was just enough space in between the buildings across the street to see the lake and shimmering moonlight.

  I approached from behind and wrapped my arms around her. She turned in my grip. “This place is beautiful, but what about you? It doesn’t tell me anything about you.”

  I shrugged. “It’s not supposed to.” I kissed her forehead. “This place is fine for what it is, and maybe it won’t be for much longer.”

  “That’s pretty cryptic. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “The Concord is for sale.”

  “So you’re going to have to move?”

&nbs
p; “Yes. Maybe.” I shook my head. My words were coming out just as discombobulated as my thoughts. “I don’t know.”

  I didn’t want to tell her about my dream—because that’s all it was. A silly pipe dream.

  “Come here.” I offered my hand and led her to the bedroom. It was your typical hotel room—a white duvet covered the bed, a dresser sat against the wall on the left. It was completely utilitarian, and all that I needed.

  “So this is the sex lair?”

  I pulled her to a stop at the end of the bed and wrapped her in my arms. “Confession time.”

  “You mean more than the one you just told me in the other room?” she smiled.

  I leaned down and bit her lip. She squealed and hit my chest.

  “You’re the first woman I’ve ever brought here.”

  She looked up, confusion washing over her face. “Really?”

  “Don’t look so shocked.”

  “I’m sorry, it’s just…I figured with your place being so close to the club that it was really…convenient.”

  I nodded. “But I never took advantage of that. This is my space. It’s private.”

  “Seems like you’re having a lot of firsts with me, Mr. Levin.”

  “As are you.” I leaned down and captured her lips. Every time I kissed her, it was more intense, more personal than the last. She deepened it, pressing her tiny body against me, rubbing her stomach against my pelvis. She was trying to wake the dragon.

  “Thank you for bringing me here,” she whispered in my ear. “But I don’t understand why. Are we checking something off the list?”

  “Tonight isn’t about checking off any items. Tonight is about you and me and the sweet, sweet lovin’ I’m going to make to you in bed.”

  She laughed.

  “Hey, your words, not mine.”

  She had been right. I had started this journey thinking I was going to be her first in a lot of things. But the truth was, Everly was turning out to be the first of many for me, too. And that truth scared the shit out of me.

  We fell to the bed in a tangle of limbs and I lost myself in her kiss. In her touch. In everything that was real. I didn’t know this strange feeling creeping into my chest, creeping into every part of me, but it rushed through me like a freight train, obliterating everything in its wake—my rules, my senses, and I feared, my heart.

  Chapter 24

  Everly

  As we drove down the dark road, the moonlight sparkled across the lake. On the left, houses were dispersed among the forest, long driveways leading to mansions and über mansions. Houses bigger than I’d ever seen before. It was too beautiful and too distracting as I was trying to cram in some last-minute work on my capstone requirement. I sat in the passenger seat with a flashlight in my hand, penning my thoughts off the top of my head.

  As it had been for the last few weeks, I had work to do, but seeing Max trumped any deadline I might have had. Canceling wasn’t an option.

  Every once in a while I’d look over. He stared straight ahead, concentrating on the road, but he knew every time I turned my attention. His hand would reach across and squeeze my thigh and I felt that squeeze between my legs. Every one of his touches elicited a burning need that I couldn’t control. Because that’s just what Max Levin did…made me lose control.

  Determined to get something done before we arrived at Ben’s house, I grabbed Max’s hand and placed it back on the steering wheel.

  Eventually, the car slowed and Max turned into a driveway that was practically hidden by tall evergreens. I could only imagine how inconvenient this house would be to get to during the winter.

  Green grass and old trees lined the winding drive that led up to the house, which was set about a hundred feet from the road.

  Soft lighting illuminated the double front doors and spotlighted every window on the front face of the house. The place had been landscaped professionally. Once the foliage bloomed it would be beautiful.

  “This is unbelievable.”

  Max parked off to the side in a spot parallel to the three-car garage. “Wait until you see the view from the backyard.”

  When he’d said he wanted to take me to a party with his friends, at Ben’s new house, I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel among porn actors. Inferior-looking. Pathetically unsexy. Those were the first things that came to mind.

  With his hand at the small of my back—a gesture I had come to crave—he led me to the front door. I smelled wood burning in the distance. Immediately I thought of marshmallows and chocolate.

  “Do you normally socialize with your actors?”

  “You think this is a porn party?” He laughed. “Surprisingly, I have friends who aren’t in the business.”

  My mouth formed into an O. “Right. Sorry.”

  So I was meeting his friends. Real people, not that the actors weren’t real, but technically they were his employees. These were people he chose to associate with. People who had known him for years—knew his quirks, his dreams, and maybe even his fears. He tried so hard to keep all that hidden from me. I wondered if I was going to get a glimpse into any of it tonight.

  “Ben is my best friend. Has been for twenty years.” He opened the door without knocking and I stepped into a bright foyer, warm beige adorning the walls. “We have other friends we’ve known since high school.”

  “Grace is the only true friend I’ve had almost my whole life.” As pathetic as that might be. She had stuck with me even though sometimes I was an awful friend. I had let my parents dictate my life—and sometimes, it affected Grace. “I didn’t have many friends growing up. I didn’t have time for them.”

  “There he is!” The man I had met at the club—Fridge—yelled from the hallway. He turned and called to the other room, “Mr. Levin has graced us with his presence.”

  In the bright light, I got a better look at Ryan Maddox. He was attractive, but not in that tall, dark, and handsome way. He was shorter, stocky, and his torso was broad and thick. He definitely worked out, but his standout feature was his eyes, they were the most uncommon gray color.

  He pulled Max into a hug and held it. “So glad you’re here.”

  “Dude, I just saw you three days ago.” Max patted his friend’s back and finally the man released him from his bear hug, and turned to me. “You remember Everly Parker.”

  “I certainly do.” Fridge bowed and grabbed my hand, bringing it up to his mouth for a kiss.

  “Christ, lay off.” Max pulled my hand away and wiped away his kiss.

  I couldn’t help it. My stomach fluttered at his actions. He was jealous. Although I was sure the gesture had everything to do with a dick-measuring contest, it still made me happy.

  “Careful of that one.” Ben sidled up and kissed my cheek. “He has no shame.” I placed my hand on his shoulder as he pulled away. His blond hair was always so disheveled it made me want to finger comb it into submission.

  “Why would I, when my two best friends hook me up with the hottest chicks?”

  Made sense.

  “Well, this woman is off-limits, so keep it in your pants.” Max glared then took my hand, pulling me to the kitchen.

  “Welcome, Everly.” Ben had followed, Ryan hot on his heels. “My house is your house. Help yourself to anything you want.”

  “You didn’t say that when I got here,” Ryan said, punching Ben’s biceps.

  “That’s because you’re not welcome.” Ben grinned then turned to Max. “Bobbi and Drake are on the dock. Carrington is on his way. Woods is with Able and his chick of the week on the patio. El is manning the barbecue and she brought two friends.”

  “And they’re hot,” Ryan interrupted.

  Max explained. “El is my father’s executive assistant. She and Ben did a year of film school together, but they both dropped out.”

  I understood the lure of letting go of your education goals. I battled that every day.

  “So what do you do, Everly?” Ryan asked.

  With my best fake smile
, I answered. “I’m in law school.”

  “Nice.” He sat on one of the stools under the kitchen island, his broad torso took up almost the entire length of one side. “So can you tell me if I have a case against my neighbor? She’s always—”

  I stopped him before he got any further. “I can’t really advise you on anything while I’m still a student.”

  He shrugged, obviously unaffected by my quick rejection. “I tried.”

  For some reason, walking into this house, I was expecting a rager. Max and his friends were all adult and this was a lovely home.

  The kitchen had an oversized glass sliding door that led to a large deck, spanning the width of the house. On the right was a grill and a table and chair set. The left had a teak conversation set—a love seat and two chairs with plush blue pillows. Below the deck was a pool, which didn’t look to be open yet. Off to the side was a fire pit already blazing, which explained the smell of burning wood when we first arrived. Even farther below the pool and pit was a small dock that led to the lake.

  Down at the dock I met Bobbi and Drake—the only married couple at the party and high school friends of Ben and Max. Able, a friend they’d met only a few years ago, was the only one to have brought a date, a beautiful blonde who smiled sweetly and clung to him like glue. I was quickly advised by Ryan that she wouldn’t last.

  When most of the group had gathered in the TV room, Bobbi caught everyone’s attention. “Look what I brought.” She held a green bottle between her thumb and forefinger and let it dangle in front of Ben’s face.

  “What is that?” I leaned over and whispered in Max’s ear. He sat in one of the bulky chairs in the corner and I sat on the arm, leaning against him.

  “It’s Absinthe.”

  Like everything else that was fun in the world, I’d only heard about Absinthe. I’d never tried it. Maybe tonight I should finally put aside the tales and experience something firsthand.

  “I want to try it.”

  He looked over and raised his eyebrows in shock. “Are you sure? I thought you had studying to do tomorrow.”

  I let my tongue run along my bottom lip and Max quickly tugged at my chin, moving my head until we were face-to-face. He rubbed his thumb along the spot that was now wet. “I’ll make sure you don’t do anything too crazy.”