Cocksure

by K. I. Lynn

  “Motherfu—” He manages to cut himself off, grunting instead. I quirk a brow at him. “Damnit, Ev, that . . . shit.” He glances back to the hostess and grins. “My little sister is such a prankster.”

  Prankster?

  I lean forward, my hand up as I whisper, “Did he tell you about how he left some girl’s house this morning?”

  “Everly! Jesus!”

  I smile up at him. “Still miss me?” I ask as the hostess directs us to our table.

  “You’re still a cockblocking little shit sometimes.”

  “Yeah, well, this is my night,” I remind him. “No picking up chicks when I haven’t seen you in four months.”

  As we take our seats, the hostess hands us our menus before informing us our server would be right over, no longer seeming interested in whatever charm Cam was giving off.

  “I invited Niko to come, but he’s working so looks like it’s just you and me, kid,” Cam says as he opens the menu.

  I freeze at the mention of Niko’s name in conjunction with our dinner. “That’s too bad,” I say, trying not to give myself away.

  Cam laughs at my statement. “There was a time when my having Niko along would have been great news to you. My, have times changed.”

  “That they have. How’s he doing these days anyway? He planning on settling down and adding any little Nikolas Callahans to the world yet?” I say, laughing off the statement when in reality the thought of Niko settling down makes me a little ill. A deep laugh from my brother pulls me from my unwanted thoughts.

  “Niko? Settle down and have kids?” He snorts and pulls the menu up to his face. “You’ve been away awhile, kiddo, but let’s be clear. Niko has not changed one damn bit since I was in high school.” I tilt my head, interest piqued. “I take that back. He’s changed a little. He now has rules that the asshole lives by.”

  “Rules?” I ask, confused.

  “Yup. The dude has issues,” he says nonchalantly and sips his drink.

  “What kind of issues? He seemed pretty solid when we were kids to me.” Cam looks at me over his menu, then quirks a brow at me in question. Shit! I don’t want to sound too interested in his friend, but he’s the one that mentioned issues. “Hey, you said it, I’m just curious now. Didn’t think you’d be around someone with issues.” I shrug to show him that I’m being more playful rather than genuinely interested in the daily life of Nikolas Callahan.

  “Mmm hmm, not still crushing on my boy Niko, are you, Everly?”

  “What? No! Of course not, you dummy. I was just a kid back then. What was I, twelve, thirteen? I think you forget that I’m no longer that nerdy little girl with a mouth full of metal and glasses and over the age of eighteen now. I’ve also been living on my own for quite some time, old man.”

  “Old man? That’s harsh, Ev. Anyway, I haven’t forgotten, kiddo. I guess I just like to pretend that you’re still young. Makes me feel young too.” He smiles at me, and I can’t help but smile back.

  “You’re not that old. Thirty is like the new twenty. At least that’s what I hear. What’s that saying? You’re now in your dirty thirties?”

  Cam snorts at me and then gulps down some of his draft beer. “Pretty sure I’ve been in my dirty whatever stage for a long time,” he says chuckling, “but yeah, thirty is cool. So far so good. Anyway, enough about my age. How’re things at the parents’ house?”

  “It’s funny. It’s like I never left. I expected them to turn my room into something more for themselves, but nope. Everything is still the same right down to the pictures on my wall from high school. I can’t believe how different Aly and I looked back then. Speaking of Aly, you’d better keep my childhood crush on Niko to yourself or I’ll sic Aly on you.”

  Cam shudders at the mention of Alyson’s name as I knew he would. The two of them are like fire and gasoline, and to this day I have no clue as to why they have such a strong dislike toward each other. The hate-hate relationship they’ve had over the years used to drive me crazy, but I got used to keeping them away from one another. It was just easier than listening to them volley insults back and forth.

  “That’s a low blow, little sister. I wouldn’t wish her on my worst enemy, yet you would do that to your loving, most handsome, hot-as-fucking-hell brother? Dirty!” he says in mock upset.

  “I knew you’d see things my way,” I say and smile, showing all thirty-two of my pearly whites. Cameron laughs at me, and it’s then that I realize just how much I’ve missed being with him.

  “Speaking of best friends,” Cam says, and I’m all ears until I realize he’s not about to mention more of Niko.

  “What about best friends?”

  “You’re glad I didn’t bring Niko. Well, I’m happy as fuck you didn’t bring that crazy chick.”

  I laugh at the face Cam makes as he talks about Alyson. “First, don’t call her that.”

  “Hey, she makes sure I know she’s crazy every time I see her, so you might want to mention that to her before you tell me not to call her something that she calls herself. Just saying,” he says and shrugs.

  “Oh, stop it. Alyson is a great person inside and out, and you know it. I’ve never understood what your feud is all about. You’re too old to still be like that, Cam.”

  “I’m sure she’s still the same on the inside as she is on the outside. Honestly, Ev, I don’t understand why you chose her of all people to keep in touch with all these years.”

  “Because she’s always been good to me. Just because you don’t like her doesn’t mean I shouldn’t. Seriously, Cameron. I don’t understand the two of you. It’s childish after all these years. Don’t you think it’s time to grow up and see her as the adult woman she is and not the teenager you taunted when you were younger? She doesn’t even mention you, yet you rag on her anytime I’ve mentioned her over the years.”

  “Yeah, right. Like she doesn’t say the same about me when I’m mentioned?”

  “She doesn’t. She hasn’t mentioned you in years,” I lie to keep the peace. The two of them bickering would drive any sane person to drink. “I don’t even think she remembers that I have a brother, to be honest,” I say and Cameron smirks at me, obviously sure that I’m not being truthful with him regarding Alyson’s feelings on my big brother.

  “If you say so. I’ll just take your word for it.”

  “Anyway, I’m glad it’s just you and me tonight.”

  “Not that I’m complaining, but why?”

  “Because I’m not going to get to see my big brother much after tonight, and I’m glad we have this alone time together. How many siblings do you know that say that and mean it?” I smile; it’s true. Many of my friends in college always fought with their siblings, but Cam and I never did. Glad that never changed.

  “Plus, it gives us more time to catch up,” I say, hoping he’ll think I’d only like to spend time with him going forward and he won’t go inviting his best friend along again.

  Thank God Niko didn’t come. I know it’s an eventuality that I’ll see him at some point, but I’m not ready for it yet. Hopefully I won’t see him again for a long, long time. For now, I’m just happy being with Cameron.

  “I missed this,” I say and mean it.

  “What?” he asks.

  “This. Us. We were always so close.”

  “Are you insinuating that we are no longer and that I’ve slacked in my nagging big brother ways, because if you are, we will have to rectify that ASAP. I can think of plenty of womanly things that need looking after at my place.”

  “You wish! That’s why you need a wife.”

  “Whoa! Shhhh,” he says and looks around the room, pretending he’s worried someone might have heard my comment about a wife. I shake my head at him, and again that feeling of missing our easy back and forth hits me. “I may not have Niko issues, but I’m not looking to settle down anytime soon, kiddo. Take that shit back right now before I embarrass you in this restaurant full of nothing but fine people just trying to enjoy their dinner
.”

  “There you go again with the issues. You and Niko have the same issues, I take it?”

  “No. Niko has issues with women in general. He feels that it’s a bad thing to know more than a woman’s first name, which he forgets half the damn time anyway, where I don’t mind getting to know a little bit about the women I, ah . . .” he hesitates, apparently searching for a word that won’t make him look bad.

  Too late, brother. I shake my head at his lack of response and finish for him.

  “Date?”

  “That’s it! Yes. The women I date.” He smiles, going back to the menu, changing the subject on me. “What do you want? I think the prime rib here is pretty good and they do baked potato on Thursday nights.”

  “Nice switch up, buddy. Lucky for you, I’d rather not hear about your dating life anyway. I think I’m going to go the seafood route, though. I’ve missed that the most since moving away from New England.”

  “I forgot you didn’t get the good stuff in California. We’ll have to hit a Chinese joint soon. I remember when I came to visit you. Chinese food there is just gross,” he says, and I have to agree. I’m no big foodie, but I’m sure I’ll need to overdo all the foods I’ve missed being away from all these years until it’s out of my system.

  One thing I’ve missed most about Massachusetts is the seafood, and also Chinese food. Nothing can ever compare. California had nothing like this, and that made me yearn to be home. Well, that and Dunkin’ Donuts. A girl can only drink so much Starbucks before she starts looking like some addict. It’s not a pretty sight. After my third cup, I begin to resemble something out of a horror movie.

  Thinking of the food here brings my mind back to the old pictures of my friends and me during our senior year. They still sit on the wall above my vanity. It’s so crazy to look at them now. How different I was back then. Junior year is when I met Alyson.

  She convinced me to ditch our last two classes for the day so that we could go hit up this Chinese place, Tahiti, in Dedham. It took us about twenty minutes to get there, but it was always worth it. I drove by just the other day, surprised to see that they were still open after all these years. I’ll have to hit that place soon and drag Aly with me. Those were good times back then. I don’t know how I’d be, or what kind of woman I’d have become if I hadn’t met Aly.

  You could see the changes in me toward the end of that first year, right before we left for college. The early two years of high school sucked for me, but then Aly transferred in from another town, and we hit it off right away. She helped me in ways I didn’t know I needed help. Aly brought me out of my shell. Once we hit California, well, things changed for me.

  For one, I lost my glasses and got Lasik eye surgery. I finally cut my hair into a style rather than pull it back into a ponytail like I usually did, and my clothing style changed dramatically. Aly was a huge shopping addict who’d rubbed off on me over time. It was nice.

  Alyson also started dragging me out with her every morning at five-thirty to jog. I have to admit that at first, I was winded and so out of shape that I didn’t think I could ever keep up with her, but she’d slow down and drag me out every morning. I’m glad she did because the little extra weight I had on me practically melted away with all that running we did.

  The only thing I didn’t let her drag me into was her vegan lifestyle. I tried, but I just never could give up my bacon or red meat. To this day, Aly will turn her nose up at me as I stuff my face with bacon and eggs in the morning.

  I’m looking forward to being close to her again. It was hard when she left school and moved home. Daily phone calls became weekly, and then once Aly started working nights, they became monthly due to her sleeping all day while I worked.

  “Earth to Ev.”

  “I’m sorry, what?”

  “Where did you just go?” Cam asks.

  “Nowhere. Just trying to enjoy the food, and time with my big brother.”

  “Nothing wrong with that. So what’s your time frame for finding a place?”

  “I’m working with a realtor here who’s set up some showings for me over the next few days.”

  “Marcy from next door?”

  I nod and laugh. “Hopefully something comes of it and I can get myself settled ASAP.”

  “So, you’re buying another house here? Not going to rent first?” Cam asks, pulling me from thoughts of Niko, again.

  Pretty sure that’s a bad sign on my part, one I need to fix, and soon. It’s not healthy to keep thinking of that man. Jesus, it’s like I’m thirteen again daydreaming about my wedding to Niko and telling my Dad that I’m going to marry him when I grow up. Yeah, not telling Cam that. He’d definitely not laugh as dad did back in those days.

  “Yeah. No need to rent. I know I’ll be here for the long haul. I don’t plan on going back to California anytime soon.”

  “What about your house there? You own it, right?”

  “It’s under the care of a realtor and was put on the market last week. It’s a seller’s market there, and I think it will sell quickly.”

  “Yeah. Hopefully. It was a great house. Perfect spot. Too bad you didn’t want to stay,” he says, and I’m sure he’s picking to see what information I will throw at him.

  Part of me doesn’t want to think about why I moved home, but it’s kinda hard to forget when Tate won’t just let go and move on while accepting that he screwed up. I can tolerate many things and expect that in any relationship that you have to make sacrifices, but cheating is not and never will be something I accept. There are no second chances on something like that, and I’m done with him.

  The phone rings again, and I close my eyes and let out a steadying breath, my finger hitting the side button to silence the ringer. I can’t even count anymore the number of times he’s called every day since we broke up. I don’t want to shut my phone off in case the realtor calls or someone I need to talk to does.

  “So, the elephant . . . what’s going on with Tate?” Cam asks.

  “Nothing.”

  “I don’t call that nothing, Ev.”

  “You were right,” I say with a shake of my head.

  Cam stares at me as he slumps back in his seat. I thought he’d be happy to be right, to gloat about being right, but his mouth is downturned, eyes sad. “What happened?”

  I take a large gulp of my drink. “He broke my heart. I caught him screwing one of my coworkers.”

  “That’s why you came home?”

  I nod. “He was popping up at my office, my house. There were constant calls and text messages.” My phone goes off, and once again, Tate’s name pops up.

  “He’s still been calling and texting you?” Cam asks, and I nod again. “Why don’t you block his number?”

  “I did. He just got a new one, hoping I would answer. He must be using some app on his phone to call. Anyway, it was better for me if I just moved to an area with a different area code. No reason for him to call. He’ll get the hint eventually.”

  “Instead, you’re stuck with that jackass constantly calling and texting you? Change your number, then.”

  “I will. I just haven’t gotten around to it. Besides, I shouldn’t have to change my number. I still have friends in California that I’d like to stay in touch with. I’m not going to let him get to me.”

  “No, I get it, but this guy doesn’t sound like he’s taking the hint, Ev. When did this all go down? You haven’t mentioned him once since you told us you were coming home.”

  “Three weeks ago.”

  “Three weeks?” His eyes go wide. “Wait, you fucking changed jobs and moved in three weeks? We all thought this was something you had in the works for a while but figured you didn’t say anything in case you decided not to take the job here, but now you’re saying that this all came about in a matter of three weeks?”

  “Well, almost four now, but who’s counting? Anyway, that’s why I hired movers to deal with packing up my place, and then they’ll send it here and hold it in storage un
til I’m ready to get it. I’ll just need to hire someone to help me unload it.”

  “Don’t worry about that. I can grab some of the guys from work to help move you when it’s time.”

  I wave off his offer because guys from work mean the possibility of one of them being Niko. Not going to think about that right now. “Work has been trying to get me to move to the Boston branch for a year. The spot was still open, so I took it.”

  “Not that I’m not happy to have you home, but you don’t think that it’s a little extreme to just pack up and move across the country, take another job, and pretend that you and Tate never happened? Seems like you did just that— let him win. My guess is he’s probably going to keep trying to apologize and hope he gets you back,” Cameron says, and I know he’s correct.

  As for the other? No, I know I made the right choice moving home. As much as I loved California, I really was missing home. I just didn’t realize it until this crap with Tate slapped me in my face. I wanted my family. I wanted my best friend and not just by phone. I wanted everything from before I left home back. That feeling of peace and love and belonging.

  “Personally,” Cam says, “I’m happier than a pig in shit that you’ve dumped his ass. He was never good enough for you, but maybe just take his call, let him get out whatever he has to say, and then be done with him.”

  The waiter appears and we both give our orders, waiting until he is gone before I speak again.

  “Honestly, I don’t want to listen to whatever bullshit that will come out of Tate’s mouth because I’m already done with him. It’s obvious I was a stupid, naive girl who believed his every word,” I say. I can feel the anger filling my eyes in the form of tears. Anger at Tate and anger at myself for being fooled.

  “What did he do?” Cam asks.

  “He lied to me, cheated on me,” I hiss through clenched teeth. “And then he expects me just to forgive him and come crawling back to him on my knees ready to suck his dick after God knows how many women he’s been with? No thank you.”