Cocksure

by K. I. Lynn

  “Thanks, Cameron.”

  He straightens and glances down at his watch. “Well, I was just swinging by on my way to the station.”

  “You’re working tonight?” I ask as I wonder what all the crap was about when he first got here.

  “Yup.”

  “Niko, too?” I ask as I walk him to the door.

  “We don’t have every shift together. Jesus, Ev.”

  “It wouldn’t surprise me if you did, the way you two are joined at the hip.”

  “Brat.” He turns the doorknob, then looks back at me. “Oh, almost forgot, are you free next weekend? I’ve got Saturday off and wanted to see if I could take my little sister out to lunch.”

  My mouth pops open. “Holy shit, are you asking me on a sibling date?”

  He shakes his head and sighs. “Weirdo. And yes.”

  “Love to.” I blow him a kiss.

  He winks at me. “Text you later, kid.”

  “Stop calling me that!” I yell after him. I can hear his laughter from the other side of the door, slowly drifting away. Peeking out the window, I wait until he’s in his truck before turning and running upstairs.

  “That was the perfect opportunity,” Niko says as soon as I enter the bedroom. He’s sitting on the edge of the bed, leaning over with his forearms resting on his thighs. It’s then I see how draining on him the situation has become. “I’m tired of this.” I can only nod, but I’m still not ready. I may never be. “I know you’re scared.”

  “I’m n . . .” I trail off and look to the window. “I’ve had so many changes this year, and the thought of one of my biggest supporters not talking to me . . .I don’t know if I can take it. I don’t want Cam mad.”

  “Baby, he’s going to be mad, we know this. He’ll be way madder at me then he will you, though. But we have to make it right with him. That’s what’s important.”

  “You’re right.”

  “I’m tired of the lies.”

  I nod and try and stop the shaking of my hands. “Me too.”

  “They don’t do anyone any good.”

  “He’s off next Saturday,” I say as I lock eyes with him.

  “So am I.”

  I swallow hard. “We’ll tell him then. On Saturday.”

  He nods and pulls me into his arms. “It’ll be okay. Cam loves you.”

  “He loves you, too. I don’t want that to stop.”

  “Don’t worry about me.”

  “How am I supposed to do that?” I tilt my head up and cup his face in my hands. “When you’re all I think about.”

  He presses his lips against mine. “Good, because you are all I think about, all I breathe. Everything about me is all for you.”

  I stare up at him, transfixed. All for me?

  I STARE DOWN AT my watch, counting how much time I have to get Everly home and then to work. Another appointment. They seem to be happening more and more as Everly’s pregnancy progresses. I’m happy with each visit when they tell us everything looks good, but do they have to happen so often? Today was thankfully close, happening at the hospital she’ll deliver at.

  “Niko?” I hear my name called and turn to see who it is.

  “Siobhan?” I say as one of my favorite cousins approaches me. I haven’t seen her in a while, and she’s a welcome sight after so long.

  “Oh my God!” She steps forward and wraps her arms around me. “How have you been? I haven’t talked to you in so long.”

  “Christmas two years ago? You should have called.”

  “Pot calling kettle.” She’s not wrong, but my life has been crazy busy, and that was before Everly and the baby.

  “Hey, I’m not the one who changed their number.”

  She rolls her eyes. “Could’ve gotten it from Charlie,” she says, a slight Irish accent coming through on her brother’s name, a habit picked up from growing up in an Irish household.

  “Ditto. What are you doing here?”

  “Ah, it’s my day off, but a friend of mine delivered her baby after my shift, so I’m visiting.” Her brow furrows as she looks me over. “What brings you here? Everything okay?”

  I nod. “Things are great.”

  “Yeah? Well, look at that smile you’re sporting. What’re you up to?”

  “A baby boy Callahan.”

  Her eyes widen. “Oh, God, that is great. Seriously wonderful. How far? How come no one told me?”

  “She’s twenty-five weeks, and we haven’t told anyone just yet. It wasn’t exactly planned.”

  She laughs at me. “Most of them aren’t. I work as a labor and delivery nurse, remember? I hear some crazy stories. We had a woman in a few weeks ago that had no clue she was pregnant. She went to the ER with back pain and thought she had a herniated disc in her back. It turns out she was thirty-nine weeks pregnant and had back labor. Boyfriend came home on leave from the military and apparently left something behind.”

  “Oh wow! How do you not know you’re pregnant? I mean, I’m not a woman, but Ev is already all belly. Did she not notice she had one?”

  “It happens. Some women don’t get their periods. Some still have bleeding when they’re pregnant. It can be light or a little heavier. That’s not always a sure way of knowing, but she honestly didn’t look pregnant due to her build. Good thing she wasn’t a smoker or drinker. The baby was born strong and healthy. Once the shock wore off, the mother was actually thrilled once she held the little girl,” she says, and I just can’t imagine not knowing you had a child coming into the world.

  “That’s a crazy story,” I say because it is.

  “I know, right?” She smiles at me, and I’m glad I ran into her. I’ve missed her. She was always more of a sister when we were younger than just a cousin. Or at least I wanted her to be. Out of all my cousins, she was the one I hung out with during anything family related besides Charlie. She didn’t judge and was a genuinely good person.

  “So when do I get to meet her? What’s her name?”

  “Everly. Everly Hayes.”

  She tilts her head to the side, and I see the moment the name clicks with her. “As in Cameron Hayes? Your best friend, Cameron?”

  I laugh and nod my head to confirm. “That would be the one. It’s his younger sister.”

  “Well, I have missed out on a lot, haven’t I, cousin?”

  “Maybe a little bit, but it’s all good. We can get lunch, and I can catch you up. I want to know what’s going on with you, too.”

  “Not much, but yes! We should all do lunch together. Bring Everly. I’d love to throw you guys a baby shower,” she says as she rifles through her purse.

  “Yeah, you’ll have to talk to Ev about that. I don’t usually do that stuff.”

  “Well, cuz, you’d better get used to it because it’s your baby too. It will be Jack and Jill.”

  “Jack and Jill? What the fuck is that?” I say entirely perplexed with her train of thought. She just laughs me off, grabbing a pen and a piece of paper from her bag.

  “Don’t you worry about it, silly man. Everly will know what it means. All you need to do is show up. Here’s my number. Call me next week, and we can compare work schedules so we can make a date.” She hands me her number and then hugs me again. I squeeze her back, and even though I have no idea what Jack and Jill is, I can’t wait for her to meet Everly.

  “It was so good to see you, Siobhan,” I say and step back

  “It was good to see you too, Nikolas. I better run. Don’t forget to call me!” she says as she makes a quick retreat.

  I turn back and Everly is standing in front of me, her expression a mix of anger and sadness.

  “Everly?”

  “Why?”

  I scrunch my brow. “Why what?”

  “You made me believe you, Niko. You made me think I was the only one, but the truth is you’re still looking for your next lay.”

  “What the hell are you talking about, Everly?” I can feel the tension rising. Feel her walls returning brick by brick as she prepare
s to shut me out.

  “You took that girl’s number; did you give her yours too?”

  My eyes widen when I finally understand. Shit. “You have the—”

  “The wrong idea? Yeah, you’re right about that. It’s funny. I’m pretty sure I’ve heard that same line before. It’s exactly what my ex said to me when I walked in on him fucking another woman. Do you guys go to some training and all of you learn the same shit to say when you get caught?” She shakes her head, and I see tears pooling in her eyes.

  “Ev, baby, you do have the wrong idea.”

  “I had the wrong idea in thinking this was going to work, that I could trust you and that maybe, one day, we would be a family. How fucking stupid. After everything, how could I be so stupid? Goodbye, Niko.” She turns and storms off.

  I stand there, watching in stunned shock, trying to figure out how my life went from pretty perfect to shit in two point five seconds. There’s no way I’m letting her walk away, and it only takes a few strides to catch up with her.

  I reach out and grab onto her arm, stopping her. “Everly, wait. You don’t understand.”

  “Let go of me!” There are tears running down her cheeks, and she’s pulling to get away, her entire body bowed away from me.

  “Everly!”

  “No! Just leave me the fuck alone!” she screams, and I let her go. People are looking at the scene, and even though I want to go after her, I’m still in shock at how everything just went down.

  After two days of no contact with Everly, I understand entirely how Tate feels. She won’t pick up my calls and doesn’t return them either. Text messages go unanswered.

  A few months ago she was a mess, and now I’m the one that’s a mess.

  “Dude, you need to eat,” Cam says as he tosses a plate down in front of me.

  I shake my head. Hunger left me when Everly did. What’s worse is that she isn’t staying at her house, and I have no idea where she is. I want to ask Cam about her, but I know what can of worms that will open.

  “What happened?”

  I shake my head. “She saw me talking to a woman, exchanging numbers, and she flipped.”

  “And you don’t see the problem here?” Cam asks, clearly taking me for an idiot. “What the fuck were you doing talking to another chick?”

  I stare at him. “Siobhan Callahan.”

  His eyes go wide and his mouth opens, still waiting on the food inches from it. “Your hot-as-fuck cousin, Siobhan?”

  “Yeah, I knew you had the hots for her.”

  “Who doesn’t?”

  “Me. I only have the hots for my girl and now I can’t get her to talk to me.”

  “Dude, I would hope you didn’t have the hots for your cousin. That’s fucking gross,” he says in disgust. “Didn’t you explain?”

  I throw my hand up in the air. “She wouldn’t let me! She caused a scene and yelled at me to leave her the fuck alone.”

  Cam doesn’t say anything to that, just looks down at his plate for a second. That’s just great. He’s been busting my balls about her since we started, and now a look of pity crosses his face. If he only knew that “she” in this scenario was his sister. I might have been able to ask for his help on this, but I’m fucking stuck trying to figure out how to get her to talk to me on my own.

  What’s worse is the plan was to tell Cam this weekend, but if she refuses to let me explain, to talk to me, that conversation is out the window for now.

  “Just eat. If we get a call, I don’t want to have to carry your ass out of a burning building because of you fainting,” he finally says. You know you’re good and truly screwed when Cameron Hayes is being the concerned and rational one.

  Fuck my life.

  THE WHITE GLARE OF the screen begins to strain my eyes, but it’s not until my phone vibrates next to my desk that I’m able to tear myself away. Niko’s name flashes across the screen, but that’s not the strange part. What is off is which phone it’s showing on. Niko has always contacted me on my work line, but now it flashes on my personal phone.

  I’m about to turn all my phones off so I’ll stop seeing his name, but if they both go just to voicemail, I’m afraid he will show up at my office.

  My life is utterly fucked. How did I get into such a twisted mess? I’m a few short months from having a baby, and I refuse to talk to the father.

  He was talking to another woman, which doesn’t really bother me, but it’s the fact that she gave him her number and he took it after he told me again and again that I was what he wanted. He convinced me to trust him, to care for him, to open up to him, and then turned on all that at the first pretty girl in his path.

  Then again, that might not have been the first. He could have been with other women this whole time.

  “Just stop, Everly,” I say to myself with a sigh. I know Niko isn’t a cheater, but I just can’t help the out-of-control scenarios my overactive imagination comes up with.

  I know I’m in a fucked-up emotional state and probably overreacted, but I’m also stubborn as hell and right now unwilling to admit that the entire situation could be a fuck-up on my end.

  My poor assistant, Lance, has been keeping his distance from me for the last few days. I’m sure he’s afraid I’ll start crying again, and he won’t know how to deal with me. He’s been so great with dealing with my crazy mood swings that I gave him today off. I figured that the more I do to bury myself in work, then the less time I’ll have to think about Niko. Unfortunately for me, I’m hungry, and that means I need to get my own lunch or see who will deliver.

  Screw it. I need some air anyway. I grab my bag and coat and head out to grab my lunch. At least food always makes me feel better.

  It’s past lunchtime, but I don’t seem to care. I ended up grabbing a sandwich and then on the way back to my office, I stopped in this little children’s boutique. I thought it was a great idea until I picked up a few things and started to text a picture of something I thought was adorable to Niko. Of course, I’d caught myself before sending it, but that just put me in a worse mood than before.

  The elevator dings, letting me know that my floor has arrived and as I step off, I blink and am met with large, piercing grey eyes. Niko.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask him. The receptionist isn’t at her desk, and I don’t know if that’s a good thing right now or a bad thing. I’m not ready to have this conversation with him, and I just want him to go.

  “Well, I fucking wonder.” He steps closer, seething. “When do you plan on answering my calls, seeing as how you’ve been avoiding me?”

  “I thought my lack of response would have been sufficient.”

  “It’s not that fucking easy when you’re carrying my kid.”

  “Shh,” I hiss as I look around. “Keep your voice down.”

  His brow scrunches, and he glances around. “I hate to tell you, the baby bump between your hips is a bit of a giveaway that you’re knocked up, or are you telling people that you swallowed a watermelon?”

  “Of course not. Don’t be an ass, Niko,” I say and walk into my office. Niko follows behind me and closes the door. “Obviously people know, but that’s not what I’m talking about.”

  “Then what are you talking about?”

  I throw my hands in the air. “You! Coming here, to my place of employment and yelling our business to anyone within a hundred-foot radius.”

  “Maybe if you hadn’t avoided my calls and texts all week, I wouldn’t have had to come here to find you.”

  “You know where I live—that would have been more convenient,” I say, knowing I was at my parents’ house, glued to my phone as I talked to Aly.

  He takes a step closer. “If you’d been home, that might have worked. Even if you were home the four times I went over, would you have let me in?”

  I stare at him for a second before moving my gaze down to my coat that no longer zips around my midsection. “I don’t know.”

  “And there’s the problem. After all these
months you’re still running, and I want to fucking know why.”

  “Does it matter?” I ask.

  “Hell, yes, it does. You didn’t even let me explain. You just shut me out just like you did that asshole. One small problem is that we’re connected for life. I’m not leaving, not running. I’m here, waiting for you, and you keep running. I’m telling you right now, Everly. You running isn’t going to stop me from chasing you. I’m not fucking going anywhere, so get used to it.”

  A flutter moves through my chest as words my teenage self dreamed of fall from his lips. He’s waiting for me, not me chasing him.

  “You wouldn’t be saying that if I wasn’t pregnant. I’d be just another girl you fucked.”

  “That’s not true, and you have never been just another girl that I’ve fucked.”

  Okay, if he’s not going to leave, then I’m done here for the day. I push past him, opening my office door, moving toward the exit. “Whatever,” I say. “You can stay and talk to yourself, but I’m done here.”

  There’s a loud sigh behind me before the squeak of sneakers on the granite floor. Niko reaches me right as I step out into the elevator and ask the woman to press the lobby button for me. She smiles and does it, oblivious to the tension that is between the man that just followed me in here and me.

  “I don’t want to continue this conversation,” I say as Niko steps up beside me.

  “I don’t give a shit. It’s a conversation we need to have because your crazy hormone-driven ass isn’t fucking thinking.”

  The woman next to us turns and looks over at Niko and then me. I smile before speaking.

  “Sorry,” I whisper like Niko isn’t standing right next to me. “He has Tourette’s syndrome. Completely harmless. Just cover your ears and ignore his mouth. I do it all the time.” She turns away from me. I don’t know who she is, and I don’t care at this point. I just want away from him.

  “Everly . . .” he growls.

  “Take your meds, buddy. They really do help,” I say and ignore him.

  The elevator dings again and finally we are in the garage of my building. I walk out, the lights on my car blink as I deftly click the unlock button to make sure I can get in to get away as soon as I reach it. He’s still on me, beside me, angry and seething, and I really just want to kiss him.