Gap Life

by John Coy

  Stephanie lectured Nicole about telling people where she was going. Stephanie was right but I was struck by how independent Nicole had been. She’d met a friend and they’d gone to Subway for Diet Cokes. We were supposed to encourage independence, but in this case she’d been too independent.

  Rayne kept her distance from me and I was sure she was worried about being fired, too. Stephanie thanked the police for their help and bought everybody ice-cream bars. When she handed me mine, she looked directly at me. “Be in the office first thing tomorrow morning and bring your keys. Is that clear?”

  “Yes.” Totally. I’d be fired for blowing my second chance.

  * * *

  THE NEXT MORNING I PLAYED WITH MY KEYS AS I waited outside Stephanie’s office. I avoided making eye contact with Lydia, the secretary, and remembered coming to find out about the job. That seemed like ages ago, and in that time, Oakcrest had become so important. I would miss the people, the place, and the paycheck. And I hated the idea of looking for another job.

  When Stephanie called me in, I was calmer than I expected. I’d blown it and was paying the price. She’d warned me, so nobody else was to blame.

  “Sit down,” she said, and I realized how much I’d miss her. She was a great boss. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

  “It was my fault. I’m responsible.”

  “I told you no more mistakes, didn’t I?”

  “Yes, I understand why you’re firing me.” I placed my keys on her desk.

  “Good.” She paused. “I was set to fire you, but then I talked to someone who urged me to reconsider.”

  “What?” Was she firing me or not?

  “Do you want to know whom?”

  “Who? Whom?” I could never keep those straight.

  “Kirsty.”

  “Kirsty? Why?”

  “She said you’d been working hard and warned me that if I fired you and hired somebody new, that person would make the same mistake. She said after this, you’ll never let Nicole out of your sight again.”

  I couldn’t believe Kirsty was standing up for me.

  “I have every right to fire you,” Stephanie said, “but I’m not. Kirsty may be right, but I need you to promise that you will pay extra attention.”

  “I promise. I promise.” I was bursting inside as I grabbed my keys.

  She held up two fingers. “Two strikes. One more and you’re out.”

  * * *

  WHEN I GOT HOME, I opened my laptop and searched for flights. I was unsure when to come back and was shocked to find that a one-way trip cost more than a round-trip ticket. That didn’t make any sense, but no matter how I changed the dates, that price difference remained.

  Rayne had questioned whether I’d go, and I needed to prove that I could. It was scary to think about traveling on my own, but it seemed like the best way to figure out who I was and what I wanted. I selected different dates for the return trip, but it didn’t change the price much. I checked out coming back in June, but then questioned leaving Europe in the middle of summer. I’d told people I was taking a gap year. I could do it.

  August 31 to August 30

  The dates stared back at me from the screen. One year. Rayne was going that long and would find work to support herself even if it wasn’t strictly legal. I could do that, too, especially with my Spanish. My finger hovered over the touch pad. One year. A click could have huge consequences.

  I pressed down and the amount appeared. I pulled out my credit card, the one Mom had given me in case of an emergency. This was an emergency and I’d tell her before the bill came. I quickly typed in the numbers before I could change my mind. I’d just made the second-biggest decision of my life.

  * * *

  THE NEXT DAY AT THE EDGE, I confronted Rayne right away. “I didn’t like how you hung me out with Stephanie when Nicole disappeared.”

  “I got scared.” Rayne picked a fingernail.

  “I know, but we could have handled it together.”

  “True,” she said softly. “It wasn’t fair. I’m sorry I did that.”

  “Good. I’m glad I still have my job.” I took a long drink of iced coffee.

  “Me too,” Rayne said. “We need you at Oakcrest. It wouldn’t be the same without you.”

  I pulled my flight receipt out of my pocket, unfolded it, and handed it to her.

  She studied it carefully. “The same flight to Amsterdam as me? I don’t believe it.”

  “We’re not sitting together or anything like that. I know you need your space.”

  “Very funny.” She pushed me. “You’re really going to Barcelona?”

  “Yeah.”

  She kept staring at the paper with her mouth open, and her surprise made the decision worth it. “Not many guys have the balls to travel solo.”

  “I know,” I said. “I do.”

  EIGHTEENTH

  AFTER MY NEAR FIRING, I kept a close eye on Nicole whenever we were out. Rayne and I got together when we could and discussed our upcoming trips. I hadn’t told my parents, and it wouldn’t be official until I did, but I wasn’t ready. I was keeping a secret from them again, but this time, I was more in control.

  For my eighteenth birthday at the end of July, Mom asked if I wanted to have a party with Uncle Ed’s family. I didn’t, and I suggested inviting Rayne to dinner at our house. Mom seemed surprised at my suggestion, but she agreed to it, and I could tell she was curious about her.

  Mom picked up fresh veggies at the farmer’s market and made two different lasagnas, one with wheat and meat and the other with rice noodles and spinach. I thought it would have been better to make something we all could eat like we had at Rayne’s, but Mom ruled that out because Dad and Lansing loved meat.

  I shaved and showered, and blasted body spray three different times. I was more nervous waiting for Rayne to show up and Dad to get home than I had been all summer. Rayne coming to dinner felt even bigger than my birthday. I changed my shirt twice before settling on being comfortable in shorts and a plain black T-shirt.

  “You’re wearing that?” Mom said when I walked into the kitchen.

  “It’s my birthday.”

  “What does Rayne like to drink?” She put ice into glasses.

  “Juice, tea, water, anything but coffee and milk. She’s not big on caffeine or dairy.”

  “Dairy? You didn’t say anything about dairy. There’s cheese in her lasagna. Is that okay?”

  “Yeah, some cheese is fine.”

  “She’s got a lot of dietary requirements for a young person.” Mom raised her eyebrows. “Help put these water glasses on the table.”

  I set one at each plate in the dining room, and Lansing wandered in.

  “What smells so good?” he asked.

  “Lasagna,” Mom said from the kitchen. “Rayne’s coming for Cray’s birthday dinner.”

  “Is she bringing her brother, Thunder?” Lansing laughed.

  “She’s smart.” I gave him a shove. “Don’t make stupid jokes.”

  The front doorbell rang and I rushed to get it. Rayne was more dressed up than I expected in tan capris, a blue top, and a silver necklace. She’d even done something to smooth down her hair so it wasn’t sticking out. I thought she might show up in her bowling shoes and leopard-print top, which would have been fun.

  “You look great.” I stepped outside and closed the door.

  “Thanks.” She glanced at my shorts and T-shirt but didn’t return the compliment. “It’s a big house. Big yard.”

  “Yeah.” I thought of the contrast with where she lived. I moved closer and smelled a hint of perfume. “Listen, Rayne, sometimes my brother says dumb things and my mom asks inappropriate questions and my dad gets confrontational.”

  “Relax,” she said. “I can take care of myself and so can you.”

  “One more thing: don’t mention Spain. I haven’t told them yet.”

  “Don’t worry. It’s your day.”

  She was right. I opened the door and ush
ered her in. “Rayne’s here.”

  * * *

  WHEN DAD PULLED INTO THE GARAGE, we were all sitting in the living room drinking blueberry-pomegranate juice, a kind Mom had never gotten before. Lansing hadn’t made any jokes and instead was talking with Rayne about probabilities. She knew he liked math, but I was impressed by how smoothly she’d steered the conversation to a topic he was comfortable with. Mom sat back and smiled. I think she was pleased that Rayne wasn’t more different.

  I got up to refill Rayne’s glass. I didn’t often invite friends over because I never knew what mood Dad would be in. My stomach churned as I waited for him to enter.

  “Hi,” I said quickly when he walked in.

  “Happy birthday,” he mumbled, and placed his iPad down.

  “Thanks. Want some juice?” I held up the pitcher.

  “No, I’ll have a gin and tonic. Miriam, do you want to join me?”

  “Sure.” Mom jumped up and ushered him into the living room. “Crayton, I’d like you to meet Rayne MacCrimmon.”

  I set the pitcher down and watched Rayne stand up.

  “Nice to meet you,” Dad said.

  “It’s a pleasure, Dr. Franklin.” Rayne looked him in the eye.

  Dr. Franklin. I hadn’t said anything, yet Rayne knew the magic words.

  “Are those Ming vases?” She noticed Dad’s treasures.

  “Yes,” he said. “You know your ceramics.”

  “A little,” she said. “They’re beautiful.”

  “Thanks. I’m glad you like them.” He walked her over and pointed out favorite details.

  “Let’s move to the dining room,” Mom said. “Everything’s ready.”

  “Give me a second to make the drinks.” Dad waved her away.

  “Rayne, you’ll sit here.” Mom pulled out a chair. “Cray, you can be there.” She pointed to my usual spot, which was now next to Rayne.

  Mom set Rayne’s lasagna in front of her and the big one by Lansing. She placed a bowl of green beans next to the salad and Dad sat down.

  I hoped he wouldn’t make us pray in front of Rayne, who didn’t do that at her house, but of course he did. Rayne bowed her head and at the end I looked over and caught her eye.

  “Help yourself to lasagna, Rayne,” Mom said.

  “Thank you.” Rayne scooped some onto her plate. “This looks delicious.”

  “How come you don’t eat wheat?” Dad looked over at Rayne.

  I feared the worst, but Rayne patiently explained that she was allergic and that her grandfather was Scottish and many Celts had sensitivity to wheat since historically they’d eaten oats and barley. She wasn’t defensive or embarrassed, and Dad listened and didn’t argue or tell her she was wrong.

  “Doesn’t it make going out to eat challenging?” Mom passed Rayne the beans.

  “Not really. Thai, Mexican, and Chinese are easy, and most places have vegetarian and nonwheat options now.”

  “Don’t you miss meat?” Lansing asked.

  “No, I’ve adjusted,” Rayne said. “You can adjust to all kinds of things.”

  Mom, Dad, and Lansing were all checking out Rayne as she talked. They were undoubtedly surprised I was friends with someone so smart and beautiful.

  Partway through dinner, we started talking about Oakcrest.

  “Brent had another seizure yesterday.” Rayne looked at me.

  “What kind of seizure?” Mom asked.

  “Tonic-clonic,” I said. “He’s had them his whole life.” Dad looked up from his lasagna. I hadn’t thought about it before, but a part of my job at Oakcrest was dealing with medical issues. Continuing the family tradition in a different way. Dad looked confused, like he was trying to process information that didn’t fit.

  I liked turning the tables and having him be surprised.

  * * *

  “THAT WAS FUN,” Rayne said as we walked away from the house.

  “Yeah, everybody was on their best behavior.” I was impressed by how smoothly she’d handled things. I had imagined her being more confrontational with Dad. I even hoped for some of that, but instead she had engaged him in doctor talk, and he enjoyed it.

  “I like your mom. She takes care of so much.” Rayne paused and I guessed she was thinking about what she didn’t have. “And Lansing reminds me a bit of Aaron. He’s smart, but shy and pays close attention to things.”

  “Yeah.” I hadn’t thought of Lansing like that before. “I don’t know why Dad had to start talking politics at the end.”

  “That was good,” Rayne said. “Got his true feelings on socialized medicine and the decline of America.”

  “But you didn’t say anything back to him.”

  “He’s not interested in my opinion, so I listened to his. You’re all so scared of him.”

  I stopped walking and looked at her. Rayne was right. It was that simple. We all were scared of him, and she’d talked with him like she wasn’t, like he was a regular person. “I know. We all try to avoid conflict with him.”

  “And how’s that going?” Rayne asked.

  “It causes a lot of conflict.” I laughed. I’d always run from conflict with Dad, but by standing up to him about college, I’d created a huge conflict. And through that, I’d begun to figure some things out.

  “How did you like your gifts?” Rayne asked as we walked under a canopy of trees.

  “Great.” Mom and Dad had gotten me the new iPhone, and Lansing had given me a cool silver case that extended the battery life. “My parents even agreed to pay my phone charges for the first year.”

  “That’s big.”

  “Yeah, especially since I’ll use it in Spain.” I rubbed my hands on my shorts.

  “Why haven’t you told them yet?”

  “I’m worried about how they’ll react.”

  “Worried, or scared?”

  “Both.” That was one more conflict I had to face. Rayne and I crossed the street and as we did our bare arms brushed against each other and my excitement rose.

  “I got you a few gifts, too,” Rayne said. “I left them beside the bed at Oakcrest for you to open tonight. Happy birthday, Cray.” She turned and leaned in and I wrapped my arms around her as we shared a deep, wet kiss. I remembered what had happened last time, so I didn’t make any sudden moves. Instead, I slowed down, closed my eyes, and savored the sensation of my lips on hers as we explored different ways to move them together.

  I relived the kiss as I hurried up the driveway to Oakcrest.

  * * *

  WHEN I OPENED THE DOOR, the lights went out as I stepped onto the landing.

  “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you,” everybody sang loudly as Eli played guitar. Kate held a cake with eighteen candles, which provided enough light for me to see faces. I climbed the stairs, amazed that they’d done this for me.

  “Happy birthday, dear Race Car. Happy birthday to you.” Eli strummed a dramatic conclusion and they all cheered.

  “Look at the cake,” Sean said.

  Nicole turned on the lights and I saw the cake was in the shape of a race car.

  “Awesome.” I picked off a piece of frosting and tasted it.

  “That’s not appropriate,” Nicole said.

  “It’s his cake,” Brent said. “He can do what he wants.”

  “The cake’s for all of us.” Nicole put her hands on her hips. “We’re all eating it.”

  “My favorite cake ever.” I pulled out my new phone and took a picture.

  “Eli helped us make it,” Kate said.

  “It says Race Car on the race car.” Brent pointed.

  “What are you doing up? You’re never up this late.”

  “It’s your birthday. I wanted to stay up.”

  “Thanks, Brent.” I hugged him and then Eli, Sean, Nicole, and even Kate, who shocked me by hugging me back.

  “Happy birthday, Race Car,” she said.

  “Thank you. This is fantastic.” So we all sat down in the kitchen and ate race car cake with big scoops of c
hocolate ice cream.

  The good feeling continued later when I went downstairs and saw Rayne’s presents. They were wrapped in red and yellow paper, the colors of the Spanish flag. I started with the smallest, which was a set of black roller-ball pens. I didn’t know why she’d given me them until I opened the second package, a thick blank journal. I flipped through the pages. I’d never be able to fill them. She’d also given me a DVD collection of Pedro Almodóvar movies, a plastic passport holder, and the Lonely Planet Guide to Spain to help me plan my trip.

  When I got into bed, I paged through the guidebook. I’d fly into Barcelona, but I also wanted to go to Madrid, Seville, Córdoba, and Granada. The white beaches of the Costa del Sol, where bikini tops were optional, looked incredible. So did Pamplona with the wild running of the bulls.

  I smelled Rayne’s scent on the pillow. I’d persuaded her that stripping the bed after she’d slept in it four nights was bad for the environment. She had a strong green streak, so she’d agreed. The truth was I liked crawling into the same sheets she had earlier in the week.

  The kiss, the cake, the presents—I’d always remember my eighteenth.

  TIME TO TELL

  A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER, I biked over to Jett’s house. I hadn’t seen him since the Fourth of July, and we hadn’t talked or texted, either. That was the longest we’d ever gone with no contact.

  As I approached his house, I heard the familiar beat of basketball on concrete. Jett eyed the hoop wearing a gold T-shirt that said CLUTCH.

  “Hey, all set for college ball?”

  “Yeah.”

  Jett bounced the ball, bent his knees, and released the shot. The ball swished through and I flipped it back. He was so good that most of the time the ball never even hit the rim as it splashed through the net. It was nice to be on the same court since we hadn’t hooped together all summer.

  “Did you hear about Teagan?” he asked.

  “No, what?”

  “She’s been obsessing about college, and Friday she had a breakdown. She’s in St. Mary’s.”

  “Oh no, have you seen her?”

  “No, she’s not seeing friends, not even Nora, just family.”

  “I’m really sorry.” I thought back to graduation and that gas station kiss and how she’d said the college application process was crazy. I also remembered her brother from the movie theater and thought about how scary it must be to see his sister that way.