Forbidden Passion

by Ruth Gogoll

  Kim smiled to herself. Oh, no! She wasn’t getting away that easily. The night was young, and regardless of what Sonja wanted, Kim herself still had a few wishes that needed fulfillment. This liaison was not going to be that one-sided.

  “Is that an order, Mrs. Kantner?” Kim asked, almost laughing.

  “You’re being silly,” Sonja said, but her voice sounded . . . well . . . not quite as fierce as she’d acted.

  “You are my supervisor,” Kim reminded her. “If you issue me an instruction, I am required to follow it.”

  “But not in bed!” Sonja contradicted irritably. She turned back toward Kim, to glare reluctantly at her.

  “No?” Kim razzed her. “I’m glad to hear it.” She leaned over Sonja and kissed her.

  At first, Sonja withheld a response, pinching her lips together and trying not to allow herself to be kissed. But as Kim caressed her gently and tenderly, Sonja’s body with her hand, and Sonja’s lips with her tongue, she finally surrendered and opened up to let Kim in.

  “You’re impossible,” she sighed when Kim let her go. “What have I gotten myself into?” But the gaze she directed toward Kim seemed more affectionate than chastising.

  “I don’t know.” Kim grinned. “A woman?”

  Sonja let her gaze wander across Kim’s body. “Yes, that’s for sure.” She lifted her hand and brushed it across Kim’s face. “Please, don’t be mad at me,” she pleaded. “I just can’t do that. I’m sorry. Is it something you really want?” She was now looking rather shyly at Kim again. In a way Kim had only seen here, in bed. At the office, she was certainly never like that.

  Kim sighed. “I do,” she said. “I find that’s the most enjoyable thing two women can do together in bed. Don’t you think?”

  Sonja laughed, a bit confused. “You’re asking me? I don’t know what two women can do together in bed. I lack any experience in that matter. Did you forget already?”

  Kim leaned over her again. “Almost.” She smiled. “You were so good, no one would guess.”

  Sonja leaned back and considered Kim. “It’s odd to hear something like that coming from a woman!”

  “What?” Kim furrowed her brow.

  “That I’m good in bed.” Sonja made a face.

  “I didn’t mean to insult you,” Kim apologized. “It was supposed to be a compliment.”

  “Yes. Yes, it probably always is.” Sonja sighed, somewhat resigned.

  Kim placed her hand on her heart. “I hereby swear never to mention it again, on my honor,” she pledged earnestly, if still grinning a bit.

  “You’re being silly again.” The corners of Sonja’s mouth twitched. “I never noticed that about you at the office.”

  “At the office I work. I have no reason to be silly there. Besides which, I wasn’t being silly just now. I meant it very seriously.”

  “Something else I’d never noticed about you before,” Sonja said. “You tend to exaggerate.”

  “If I tell you that you’re a beautiful woman, would you call that an exaggeration, too?” Kim asked softly, bending over Sonja and kissing her tenderly.

  Sonja returned the kiss cautiously and then disengaged herself from Kim. “I’m not going to answer that. But it does confirm my impression.”

  Kim considered Sonja’s face and felt warmth flooding her. “You’re the most beautiful woman in the world,” she said softly. “You have beautiful eyes, a beautiful nose, a beautiful mouth . . .” She touched Sonja’s lips softly with her own and then withdrew again.

  Sonja’s eyes wandered across Kim’s face, seeming to pause in one place or another, before moving on. Suddenly, Sonja threw her arms around Kim and pulled her tight. Their kiss became ever sweeter. When the tips of their tongues met, they both sighed at the same time. Sonja’s soft, smooth, silky mouth pampered Kim with unbelievable sensations, and Kim felt the wetness that had already been collecting between her legs for hours suddenly increase, felt strokes of lightning rekindle the fire that had smoldered in her belly the whole time.

  Kim moaned and pressed herself against Sonja’s thigh, trying to clamp it between her own legs so she could finally reach the end. She rubbed against her and felt the first little waves approach when Sonja pushed her away and rolled on top of her, turning her onto her back.

  Kim gasped as the stimulation disappeared from between her legs. “Please, Sonja, let me come,” she begged. “I can’t stand much more of this . . .”

  Sonja leaned down and looked at Kim.

  “I won’t demand anything more of you afterward, I promise,” Kim assured her pleadingly. She wondered if Sonja was afraid that Kim would try to talk her into doing something she didn’t want to do.

  Sonja lowered her lips onto Kim’s breast and began to indulge the hard, swollen nipple. Kim moaned, deep and loud. She didn’t care who might be sleeping next door! They were leaving the next day, anyway. Kim reached for Sonja, trying to hold onto her, trying to caress her, but Sonja dodged and slid lower.

  Her hand caressed Kim’s belly, her groin, so that Kim tossed and gasped for breath. Then she felt her way cautiously between her legs. She touched Kim’s labia and paused.

  “Sonja, Sonja . . .” Kim whispered. “Please . . .”

  Sonja’s hand sought and found the entrance, one finger slipped inside, and Kim lifted herself, moaning, to meet her. Sonja shifted a bit lower. With an effort, Kim raised her head from the pillow enough to see Sonja staring between her legs as if she were looking at the eighth wonder of the world.

  “Sonja, please . . .” Kim attempted to squeeze Sonja’s finger, and indeed she could feel it inside her, but she wanted more.

  Sonja looked up into Kim’s face, then pulled her finger out and thrust inside Kim once more with a deep, hard thrust. Then again, and again, and again – steady, rhythmic. As if she was trying to imitate a man. Kim groaned every time Sonja thrust into her because it almost hurt. And it didn’t arouse her.

  “That’s . . . not . . . how . . . it goes,” Kim tried to instruct her between her hard, forceful thrusts.

  Sonja stopped and lowered her mouth onto Kim.

  “Oh, no, Sonja!” Kim protested in horror. Sonja was truly throwing her from one sensation to the next. Like a roller coaster ride. “You said you don’t like that. It’s fine if you . . . with your hand . . .” Kim tried to close her legs, but Sonja knelt between them. “Please . . . I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want.”

  Sonja raised her head and looked up at Kim. “This is different,” she said, already bending over again. “I’ve always done this.”

  She touched Kim with her mouth, and Kim moaned aloud. It was so glorious. “Maybe you won’t like it,” she still managed to protest weakly. She lacked the strength to do more, since Sonja’s tongue was already moving across her labia and exploring every fold and curve. Kim moaned again. “Oh, Sonja . . .” she whispered. Any further desire to stop her completely left Kim’s mind.

  Sonja directed her attention to every single place that she could reach with her tongue. Then she slid it inside Kim. A soft, warm feeling filled Kim up and left her sighing endlessly.

  “Am I doing this right?” Sonja asked now and then, to which Kim could only manage a laboriously whispered, “Yes.”

  Her lips closed around Kim’s pearl and pressed together. Kim moaned and raised her hips up against Sonja, whereupon she began the whole sequence again. Her tongue joined in and met the center. Kim cried out. There was no stopping now. Sonja licked around the edges of her pearl, then across it, again and again, and Kim came in long, unending waves, during which she pressed a pillow over her face to keep from being too loud. Even so, she could probably still be heard very well from next door.

  Kim lay there, gasping, and was close to suffocating under the pillow when Sonja picked it up and peered cheekily underneath. Kim fought fiercely for breath. “You’re a natural,” she panted, exhausted.

  Sonja smiled, placing the pillow to one side and stretching out on top of it. “Thank y
ou, but it’s not really that hard,” she replied graciously. “I’d imagined it would be more complicated than that. I’m surprised, myself.”

  “More complicated?”

  “Well, you know, I thought . . . actually, I couldn’t picture it at all. When you’ve only known one way for twenty years, you think there is no other way,” Sonja admitted, a bit embarrassed. She smiled as she turned her head to face Kim. “I never had any comparison before now, you know.”

  “What would you have done if you had?” Kim asked.

  “Oh, I don’t know,” Sonja answered thoughtfully. “It’s possible that it wouldn’t have made any difference at all.”

  Kim withdrew. In that case this won’t make any difference, either. Sonja had absolutely no need to repeat this experience. Did she really expect anything else? She should have known better!

  Sonja turned back to Kim, smiling with her gorgeous eyes as if to refute Kim’s conclusion. “Aside from which, that wouldn’t be very fair, would it?” She winked. “I’ve slept with . . . let’s see . . . a few men, and only with one woman. That’s hardly enough material for a fair comparison.”

  And she wasn’t likely to want to even out that imbalance, either, Kim assumed. She seized upon a courage born of despair. Even if in just one night she couldn’t offset all of Sonja’s experiences with men, Kim could try to increase the weight on one side of the scales, at least a bit.

  She slid her arms around Sonja and pulled her close.

  Sonja’s eyes looked searchingly at her face, serious again now, and seemed unable to decide what should happen next.

  But Kim had already decided. She wanted to make the most of this night, the only, the last – the first.

  Kim drew close and saw Sonja close her eyes before she kissed her.

  ~*~*~*~

  When she woke up, Kim again found herself alone in the large double bed.

  She glanced at the clock. Oh, boy – she had overslept! She smiled. No wonder, after last night. What time had they finally fallen asleep? She didn’t know. She only knew that Sonja had been insatiable, that she’d surprised Kim again and again with new ideas, and that time had vanished from her consciousness entirely.

  Kim jumped out of bed. She might not have slept much, but the exercise she’d gotten last night had apparently paid off and toughened her body. She laughed out loud. She felt wonderfully happy, as though she were floating on cloud nine.

  A quick shower and she was on her way downstairs. Breakfast was, in fact, over, and she didn’t feel like she could eat anything, anyway. She felt as satisfied as if she’d just eaten a five-course banquet. She quickly grabbed a cup of coffee and raced to the seminar room.

  When she opened the door, everyone turned to look at her. She was the last arrival. She nodded apologetically to Klaus – if only he’d known why she was late! – and took a seat. She sought Sonja’s face. Sonja gave her a serious look and turned her attention back to Klaus, who was moderating the closing discussion.

  When it was over, Klaus distributed a certificate to each seminar attendee that confirmed their participation. Everyone said their goodbyes and headed quickly for their parked cars, scattering like a startled herd of cattle.

  Sonja came up to Kim with one of the older seminar participants at her side. “Matthias is riding back with us. He needs to get to the airport.” She avoided Kim’s gaze.

  Too bad. They wouldn’t be alone on the drive back. But at least they were driving together. “Fine,” Kim said. “Shall we go pack?”

  “I’m already done,” Sonja said. “My things are in the car.”

  Another surprise – not even a few minutes alone in the room together. Kim cleared her throat. “I’ll go get mine. It will take me just a few minutes.”

  “We’ll wait outside,” Sonja said and walked with Matthias to the parking lot.

  Kim sprinted up the stairs and hastily threw her things into her overnight bag. Not two minutes later she was in the parking lot too.

  Sonja and Matthias were already sitting in the car, Sonja in the driver’s seat and Matthew next to her. Kim stowed her overnight bag in the trunk and climbed into the back seat. Sonja only interrupted her conversation with Matthias briefly to start the car. She paid no attention to Kim.

  Well, all right, in Matthias’ presence she could hardly do otherwise, Kim thought. It wasn’t particularly pleasant, but she’d endure it.

  Sitting in the back, Kim felt rather cut off. She could follow the conversation between Sonja and Matthias, but it was difficult to actually participate. They talked about the seminar, about other seminars, about their career histories. Really, though – as Kim observed from behind – Matthias was just enjoying sitting next to Sonja. He cast glances at her that clearly reflected his interest.

  Sonja, on the other hand, seemed interested only in the conversation. What else would she want with a man like Matthias, who was at least twenty years older than she?

  Kim wondered how the drive might’ve gone if she hadn’t been there – or if he hadn’t been there. She yearned to touch Sonja, to at least be able to speak to her, to look into her eyes. But the only topic she’d be able to use for that purpose was the seminar. Everything else was taboo now.

  Sonja looked in the rearview mirror to answer Kim after she’d asked a question, and for one brief moment, their glances met in the mirror, lingered, then darted quickly away as Sonja turned her attention back to the road.

  What was it that she’d just read in Sonja’s eyes? Kim allowed herself to sink back into the leather upholstery to ponder that. Sonja’s gaze had seemed not tender, not questioning, just . . . thoughtful. Perhaps that was the right word. Thoughtful, as was certainly appropriate after everything that had happened. Or thoughtful in response to a situation that made Sonja uncomfortable.

  Did she offer Matthias a ride so that she wouldn’t have to be alone with Kim? Kim was annoyed with herself for not having woken up earlier, for not having awakened Sonja with a kiss. Then she wouldn’t have been able to withdraw so easily.

  She would simply have to wait until they were alone. The drive passed calmly and uneventfully, with the conversation petering out after a while, as they all seemed rather tired from the seminar. Kim dozed off for a bit in the back seat. When she awoke, they were at the airport, and Matthias was getting out of the car.

  “Goodbye.” He reached Sonja his hand. “Thank you very much for the ride.”

  “My pleasure.” Sonja nodded to him.

  Matthias waved a quick farewell to Kim and went into the terminal building.

  Kim was going to get out and sit in the front seat, but Sonja was already pulling away from the curb and driving onward. “Sonja?” Kim asked cautiously.

  “Where should I drop you off?” Sonja replied. “Do you want to go to the office, or would you prefer downtown?”

  The office building was only a five-minute walk from the center of downtown.

  “Well, really, it’s still working hours,” Kim said.

  “Officially, the seminar lasts until this evening. It’s all paid for. You can spend the rest of the day however you like.”

  “Are you going to the office?” Kim asked.

  “No.”

  “Oh.” Kim was surprised. Sonja usually worked round the clock, it seemed. “So I have your official permission as my supervisor?” Kim grinned a little.

  “Yes. I’ll sign off on the hours.” Sonja was far from grinning. Her voice sounded impersonal and serious.

  “I . . . Sonja . . .” Kim swallowed. “I was actually hoping to talk to you.”

  “We can talk on Monday,” Sonja said. “At the office. I don’t have time right now.”

  “You can drop me off wherever you want.” Kim resigned. “Office or downtown, it doesn’t matter.” A stone lay in her stomach. The morning’s high spirits were long gone.

  “Office, then.” Sonja said nothing further, just drove until she turned into the driveway of the office building. She stopped, but didn’t get out.


  Irritated Kim got her overnight bag out of the trunk and went around to the driver’s side. It was obvious that she couldn’t, right here in front of their office building, bid Sonja goodbye with a kiss, but neither could she just –

  Sonja took the decision out of her hands. Barely was Kim standing next to the driver’s door when Sonja pulled back out of the driveway and turned down the street.

  A minute later she was out of sight.

  ~*~*~*~

  Kim drove home, thinking about Sonja’s behavior on the way. She couldn’t have made it clearer that she didn’t want to talk. She’d been hot last night, and now she was as cold as a block of ice. Maybe that was her usual M.O. The thing with Klaus had gone similarly, after all.

  Kim sighed. Yesterday she’d told herself that there would only be the one night, no more, but this morning when she’d woken up – somehow, she had hoped that her prediction wouldn’t come true. Sonja had been so . . . sweet last night, so tender, but also so abandoned and passionate – Kim wished for a sequel.

  Was she in love? She thought about it. She couldn’t say. Her hormones were screaming too loudly.

  Sex. Was it just sex?

  Kim took a deep breath. In any case, it was obvious that her body wanted that. Just at the thought of Sonja, she began to tingle all over. That had been the case with a number of women before, and it had had nothing to do with love. She had her confirmation.

  When she got back to her apartment, she unpacked her overnight bag and started a load of wash. Some housework was in order; she’d neglected it a bit lately.

  In the kitchen, her gaze fell on the large calendar on the wall.

  Oh, yes, tonight was the women’s café, and tomorrow the dance; it was the first weekend of the month. Not a bad idea, to distract herself.

  Where was the best place to hide a grain of sand? On the beach.