Forbidden Passion

by Ruth Gogoll

  “Glad to hear it.” Sonja took off her jacket. “Are the eggs in the refrigerator, too?”

  Kim nodded.

  Sonja opened the refrigerator and peeked inside. “Three,” she said. “And are they still fresh?”

  “I eat eggs a lot. I bought those on Saturday.”

  “Good.” Sonja took out the eggs. “I’ll just have one. Should I make the other two for you? In the frying pan?” She looked around. “If you tell me where it is.”

  “Sonja, you don’t have to –” Kim suddenly felt rather superfluous in her own kitchen.

  “A frying pan and a saucepan are all I need.” Sonja looked questioningly at Kim.

  Kim hurried to bring her what she wanted.

  Sonja ran water into the saucepan, set it on the range, and put the frying pan next to it. She switched on both burners. Then she took the butter from the table and dropped a small piece of it in the pan.

  Suddenly, she laughed and looked down at herself. “I’m perfectly dressed for the kitchen!” She had worn the rather fancy dress suit to her mother’s the day before. “Do you have an apron?”

  “Uh . . . no.”

  “A kitchen towel would do, too.” Sonja knew how to fend for herself in the kitchen as well as the office.

  Kim took a towel out of the cupboard and gave it to her.

  Sonja tied it around herself.

  Kim watched her with an affectionate gaze. She felt warm and full of tenderness. Everyday life. Yes, that’s what it was. Today, for the first time, they were living like a couple, sharing their everyday life. They were going to eat breakfast together, they were going to work together, and they knew that they’d see each other again in the evening, maybe sit on the couch . . .

  “Are you dreaming?” Sonja stood in front of Kim. “We should eat breakfast, before it gets too late.” She slid the eggs out of the frying pan onto Kim’s plate. “Egg cup?”

  Kim wished she could melt into the floor. “I don’t have that, either.”

  Sonja smiled crookedly. “I think I’m going to have to take you shopping. If I’m going to eat breakfast here often – or cook here . . .”

  “You really don’t have to do that,” Kim said. “I’ll manage.”

  Sonja took off the improvised apron and sat down. “I’m not so sure.” She smiled at Kim. “I have no objection to cooking. Sometimes I like it.”

  “Sonja . . . I . . .” Kim felt her mouth going dry.

  “You don’t have to worry. I’m not planning to move in and impose myself on you. I’ll find myself an apartment.” Sonja looked inquiringly at Kim as she cracked her egg. “But for a couple of days . . . or should I go stay with Sandra? If I’m bothering you . . .”

  “You . . . you can stay here as long as you want,” Kim replied laboriously. Preferably forever, she thought. She felt like a dream was coming true. But she didn’t know – still didn’t know – whether Sonja saw it the same way. “You aren’t going home again?”

  “It was never my home.” Sonja appeared to hesitate. “But . . . I do have my things there.” Her expression changed. “I’ll have to get them.”

  She’s afraid, Kim thought. She doesn’t want to go back there. I can certainly understand that. “Sandra and I could do that,” she suggested. “If you give me the key . . .”

  Sonja looked at her, astonished. “I can’t ask that of you.” She swallowed. “Uwe will be there.”

  “Exactly. You can’t go there. But Sandra and I can. He won’t do anything to us. Beside which, there’ll be two of us.”

  “You haven’t asked Sandra yet,” Sonja pointed out.

  “She’s your sister. Wouldn’t you do the same for her?”

  Sonja looked at her in renewed astonishment. “Yes.”

  “And she’ll do it for you, just as gladly,” Kim said. “Without a doubt.”

  “You should still ask her first. Or I should. I’ll call her later.”

  “I’ll take care of it. Just give me the key.”

  Sonja grimaced. “Thank you.”

  “Don’t mention it,” Kim replied.

  Sonja glanced at the clock. “We have to get going. Otherwise I won’t get through my agenda for today.” She glanced at the table. “We can do the dishes this evening.”

  We. We can do the dishes this evening. Kim felt like she was going to float to the ceiling in sheer happiness.

  She’d never looked forward to something as ordinary as dishwashing with so much pleasure.

  ~*~*~*~

  “Sandra packed up everything that looked important to her,” Kim said. “Some of it is in her apartment. I hope this will be enough for tomorrow.” She indicated Sonja’s clothing as well as a number of other things that lay on the bed.

  “Yes, that’ll do.” Sonja looked oddly stiff.

  “Nothing happened,” Kim reassured her. “Everything went very smoothly.”

  “Uwe –”

  Kim laughed a little. “At first, he thought Sandra was you. But she chased that idea out of his head pretty quick. After that, he left us alone.”

  “This isn’t over,” Sonja said dully. “I just don’t believe it.”

  “Don’t think about it anymore.” Kim wrapped an arm around her. “I bought a few things. Tomorrow morning, we’ll have rolls – that is, if you want to spend the night here. Of course, you can always go to Sandra’s –”

  Sonja looked at her and smiled a little. “Are you trying to get rid of me? So soon?”

  Kim swallowed. “I just don’t want you to feel trapped.” She’s had enough of that.

  “I don’t feel trapped. After all, I can go at any time.” Sonja held a hand in front of her mouth and yawned. “Although I do feel a little tired.”

  “Do you want to go to sleep?”

  Sonja looked at her. “Will you be mad at me if I don’t?” She made a slightly embarrassed face. “I hardly dare to ask, but . . . do you have a television?”

  “Television? You want to watch television?”

  “I know I’m falling in your esteem because of it, but sometimes I find television very relaxing.”

  Kim smiled. “Me, too. Do you like Campari? I just bought some. Campari Orange?”

  Sonja nodded.

  “Go sit on the couch,” Kim continued. “Make yourself comfortable. I’ll bring the Campari right in. Chips?”

  Sonja made a face. “I was hoping to wait a little while before I got to the next dress size.”

  “You don’t have to eat them. I want some.” Kim let her gaze wander over Sonja’s perfect figure. “And as far as dress size is concerned . . . Too small isn’t good, either. I think the anorexic skeletons that are running around these days are just awful.”

  Sonja chuckled. “Fine, then, bring the chips. I might eat one or two.”

  “I’ll be right back.” Kim went to the kitchen and got the Campari and orange juice out of the refrigerator. She mixed two glasses, positioned the bag of chips under her arm, and returned to the living room. “I see you’ve found the remote,” she said with a smile.

  Sonja sat on the couch, having pulled up her legs and turned on the TV. “Desperate Housewives? Unless you find it too silly.”

  “I don’t think that at all. Susan’s clumsiness always puts me in a good mood. She manages to put her foot in it at every turn, even the ones you don’t see coming.” Kim set the Campari glasses on the table, tore open the bag of chips, and shook some of them out onto a plate. She sat down next to Sonja.

  It was a little like déjà-vu. Back then, the evening at the seminar, they’d done the same thing. They had sat in bed and watched television, nibbling on chips and laughing. She glanced at Sonja. She looked tired, like she’d had a hard day at the office, and she certainly couldn’t have finished processing everything that had happened the day before, but at the same time, she already seemed a little more relaxed than she had lately. “Do you feel all right?” Kim asked softly.

  Sonja turned to face her. “Oh . . . yes. A gentle smile transformed h
er features. The strict boss was gone. “Very good.”

  Kim leaned forward, picked up the Campari glasses, and handed one of them to Sonja. “Shall we make a toast?” she asked. “To a pleasant evening of television.”

  Desperate Housewives granted them an entertaining hour. Sonja ate more than two chips and was annoyed that they tasted so good, and Kim laughed at her. In the end, Sonja lay in Kim’s arms, snuggling with her, almost asleep.

  “Do you want to sleep on the couch?” Kim asked softly. “Or should we go to bed?”

  “If you’ll carry me over . . .” Sonja murmured, her eyes closed.

  Kim brushed a gentle finger across Sonja’s face. “I can try it.” She smiled. “But I think walking would be easier.”

  “I can’t walk anymore,” Sonja mumbled sleepily.

  She is so sweet, Kim thought. How can a woman be this sweet? “I’ll cover you up, then you can sleep here.” She let Sonja’s head sink to the couch and slipped carefully out from underneath her.

  Sonja opened one eye halfway. “Don’t you want to take me with you?” She yawned and sat up slowly.

  Kim smiled and reached her a hand. “I thought you might want to be alone.”

  Sonja allowed herself to be half pulled upright and stood up. “I’ve been alone for long enough.” Her eyes were already falling shut again.

  Kim wrapped an arm around her waist. “Come on,” she said softly, leading her to the bedroom.

  In bed, Sonja snuggled right up to Kim, and immediately fell asleep.

  Kim lay there, smiling, holding Sonja in her arms, listening to the even rise and fall of her breath, and enjoying the feeling of knowing that Sonja wasn’t going to get up and leave in an hour or two.

  It was wonderful to have Sonja with her, today, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, day and night.

  Kim wished it would never end.

  ~*~*~*~

  Kim sat at her desk, daydreaming. The telephone rang. She glanced at the caller ID number, smiled, and picked up. “Hello, sweetheart,” she said softly.

  Sonja seemed taken aback, since she didn’t speak right away. “Uh . . . yes,” she said then. In the office, private things like that apparently embarrassed her. “Do you have some time? I need your help. But only if you’re available. Otherwise, I’ll just have to figure out a different solution.”

  “For you, I’m always available,” Kim said. “Especially since I’m responsible for the fact that you got to work later than usual this morning and lost time because of it.”

  “Hm.” Again, Sonja seemed confused. “I’m at least equally responsible for that.”

  Kim felt warm. She remembered this morning. Only too well. It wasn’t all that long ago, after all. “Yes, it took two,” she said with a grin. “But I started it.”

  “I didn’t have to join in.” Sonja cleared her throat. “Could we perhaps get back to the subject? I’d really like to have you here for a meeting in half an hour.”

  “At your service. I’ll be there.”

  “Pardon me,” Sonja replied. “I’m so stressed. Of course, I’m not ordering you to do anything.”

  “I’d have no objection to that.” Kim grinned. “Under certain circumstances . . .”

  “Please . . .” Sonja sighed. “Let’s concentrate on work.”

  “That’s not easy for me,” Kim said, “but I will. Half an hour.”

  “See you then. Kim?”

  “Hm?”

  “It was nice this morning,” Sonja said quickly, then hung up.

  Kim smiled. Sonja’s passion had not decreased, even though she no longer had to have sex as if at gunpoint in order to distract herself from her tightly constrained existence.

  Kim crossed her arms behind her head and leaned back in her chair. She closed her eyes. She envisioned Sonja before her, this morning, the way she’d lain beneath her, the way she’d moaned –

  “Well, this is it. I’m saying farewell.”

  Kim opened her eyes. She swallowed, still feeling the touch of Sonja’s hands on her skin. “Rolf.”

  “My last day,” Rolf said, coming in. “Now you’re the boss. On your own, once and for all.”

  Kim swallowed again, but for a different reason this time. She stood up. “Rolf . . .” she repeated unhappily.

  Rolf laughed. “Come now, don’t look so downtrodden. Instead, tell me when you’re coming to visit us. Then we’ll have a date to look forward to.”

  “As soon as possible.” Kim smiled. “I promise you.”

  “Lovely.” Rolf stepped over to her and gave her his hand. “Then I wish you all the best and success as my successor. You’ll manage it.” He looked at her, and his eyes seemed to be getting moist. “Oh, come here!” He pulled her to himself, hugged her fiercely, and let her go again. “Don’t let it be too long before you visit,” he said, giving her one last fatherly look before he left.

  Kim sat back down. She was still rather shaken by Rolf’s final departure, after all. All along, it had felt like he was standing behind her and held his hands out protectively over her, but now that was finished.

  She felt confident that she knew the work inside and out, but it was still different now to be the lone boss all of a sudden. She took a deep breath. A new era.

  And it coincided with a new era in her private life – hers and Sonja’s. At least she hoped so; she still didn’t know for certain. It was much too soon to ask Sonja what she was planning for the future, and there was still the whole new situation with her being a twin, with her father, with everything else.

  Sonja had a lot to handle, and she had to set the agenda. It was her life.

  Kim looked at the clock. She needed to get going, if she wanted to keep her appointment with Sonja.

  Kim walked past Jo’s abandoned desk, which would remain unoccupied all week, to Sonja’s office and knocked on the door, although it was standing open.

  Sonja looked up from her own desk and smiled. “Come in.”

  Kim went to her, glancing back once more at the open door to make sure they were still alone, and brushed a kiss across Sonja’s lips. “Nice to see you again.”

  Sonja smiled again. “It hasn’t been all that long.”

  “Every minute is like an eternity.” Kim looked at Sonja’s files. “You have a problem?”

  “Yes.” Sonja stood up. “A technical problem.”

  “I’m no technician,” Kim said.

  “No, but you have more to do with the technical side through customer support. I feel like I can never really make myself understood with the technicians. I tell them what I want them to do, but then they always do something entirely different. That costs time and money. That’s why I’d really like to ask you to take care of this.”

  “Sure,” Kim said. “What is the issue, more specifically?”

  “Have a look at this.” Sonja indicated her conference table, on which lay a giant sheet of paper that looked like a blueprint. She and Kim walked over to look at it, and Sonja pointed to part of the drawing. “I’ve now incorporated the manufacturing hall as well. But of course, there’s no usable wiring in there.”

  “I see,” Kim said.

  “My ideas might simply be too bold. After all, I’m approaching this more from an organizational perspective than a technical one. The technical people probably don’t understand that. For them, the technical aspects are always in the foreground.”

  Kim recalled a conversation or two she’d had with the repair team. “Yes, I know.” She, too, always had to convince the team to please think about the customers who weren’t technicians.

  “It takes an enormous amount of work to oversee all of this,” Sonja said. “It was all supposed to be finished some time ago.”

  Kim nodded. “I’ll take care of it.” She looked at the name of the person responsible for the blueprint. “Oh.”

  “What?” Sonja looked inquisitively at her.

  “Oh, nothing.” Kim rolled up the blueprint. “I’ll take this with me. Is that all right w
ith you?”

  “What is it?” Sonja tilted her head to the side.

  “Do you know Helmke Grotenauer-Albrecht?” Kim asked.

  “She’s a secretary –” Sonja indicated the plans, “his secretary.”

  “Exactly.” Kim sighed.

  Sonja arched her eyebrows questioningly.

  “Oh, no, no!” Kim spread her hands in horrified defense. “Not that. I never had anything with –”

  Sonja made an amused face. “That’s none of my business.”

  “It would be your business if that were the case. But it isn’t. Helmke’s not even –” Kim broke off. “At least, so she says. But it doesn’t matter. She’s just absolutely caustic. But I’m sure I can manage to get her to give me an appointment with her boss.”

  “You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Sonja said. “I don’t want to ask too much –”

  “Oh, nonsense!” Kim interrupted her with a laugh. “You’re not asking too much. I promised to help you, and I will. Helmke won’t stop me from that. Is this the last stage of the reorganization?”

  “Yes. After this, I’m finished.”

  “Then you could take a vacation,” Kim suggested.

  Sonja nodded reflectively. “Yes, then I could take a vacation.”

  “Rolf –” Kim swallowed. She had to suppress the feelings surging inside her again. “Rolf left today, once and for all. I promised to visit him as soon as possible.”

  “In the Camargue,” Sonja said.

  “Yes, in the Camargue.” Kim hesitated.

  “Well, ask already.” Sonja smiled.

  “I already asked you once.”

  “And now you know why I couldn’t say yes back then.”

  “That was the only reason?” Kim asked.

  Sonja gave her a serious look. “Yes, that was the only reason. I’d love to go with you to see Rolf and Margit in the Camargue.”

  Kim had been so resigned to the rejection she was expecting, that she didn’t grasp right away what Sonja had said.

  “You’re not happy?” Sonja looked uneasy.

  “Yes, of course I’m happy.” Kim cleared her throat. “I’m sorry, I’m a little confused.”