Forbidden Passion

by Ruth Gogoll

  Kim slowly rolled with Sonja until she lay beneath her. She looked down into Sonja’s eyes. They were flickering slightly, as though Sonja were waiting for something she couldn’t predict. “Don’t be afraid, love,” Kim murmured, sinking her lips gently onto Sonja’s and kissing her tenderly. “I’m here with you.”

  “Yes, I know.” Sonja searched Kim’s face, as if she needed to find something there that had long lain hidden.

  Kim sought Sonja’s mouth once more, and closed her eyes. She pressed slowly in between Sonja’s lips and tried to let herself be led by feelings alone.

  Sonja’s tongue entwined with hers; she sighed in Kim’s mouth. “Yes . . .”

  Kim’s hand felt its way to Sonja’s breast and caressed it. Sonja sighed more strongly in her mouth. Kim sensed her own arousal increasing, while Sonja’s rock-hard nipple stabbed her palm even through the layers of clothing. She brushed across it, again and again, and Sonja moaned. Her fingers dug into Kim’s back, and her thighs spread apart.

  Kim let her hand wander down to Sonja’s crotch, where she rubbed lightly back and forth. Sonja’s moaning grew louder. Kim’s hand went higher and opened the zipper on Sonja’s jeans.

  Sonja moaned in anticipation.

  “Shall we go to bed?” Kim whispered.

  “Later.” Sonja pressed her hips against Kim and let out a labored gasp. “I . . . I . . .”

  Kim laughed. “I understand.” Her hand slipped inside Sonja’s pants and sought entry to her panties.

  Sonja let herself fall back onto the couch and placed her hands on Kim’s head, so that she had to look at her. “I love you,” she whispered, her eyes searching Kim’s. “I love you so much.”

  Kim froze. “Sonja . . .” she replied, stunned. Her voice sounded raw.

  “I’ve wanted to tell you that for a long time,” Sonja went on softly, “but . . . but I couldn’t.” Her gaze pleaded for understanding. It appeared embarrassed and guilty. “I have this whole time . . . It was so hard.”

  “I know.” Kim swallowed. “I know all that, my darling.” She kissed Sonja and slipped farther into her panties. Her fingers got wet.

  “Not like that.” Sonja moaned. “Undress me, please.”

  “Don’t you first want to –?”

  “No. Please . . .” Sonja’s lips pressed together intensely. “First . . .”

  Kim straightened up and pulled pants and panties together down off her hips. She began to unbutton Sonja’s blouse, her gaze remaining on her face. It looked a little tense. “Are you all right?”

  Sonja bit her lip. “You drive me insane,” she said with an effort.

  Kim smiled. “Well, if that’s all . . .” She pushed Sonja’s blouse from her shoulders, slid around to her back, unhooked her bra, and tossed it aside. Sonja lay naked before her. “Satisfied?” She leaned down and kissed Sonja’s trembling lips. They really were trembling a lot. “What is it, love?” Kim was confused. Sonja was behaving as though she were terribly afraid, but there was nothing here for her to fear. “Do you not want to do this? You just have to say so.”

  “No, I . . . want to.” Sonja looked at her, and her eyes flickered even more. “I want you to –” She turned her head to one side. “Please, kiss me . . . down there.” Her voice was no more than a breath.

  Kim felt every hair stand up on her body, from top to bottom. Sonja had never allowed her to touch her between her legs with her mouth; that had always been taboo, although nothing else ever had been. This was the one thing she’d held back. Even more so than her I love you. Today, all the walls she’d constructed around herself were falling down.

  No, she was tearing them down. They were collapsing as though struck by lightning. She didn’t want to be hemmed in by them anymore, as she had for her entire previous life.

  “Sweetheart . . . my sweetest . . .” Kim had to swallow. “Do you really want that?”

  Sonja turned her head back. “Ask me again, and I’ll say no.” She smiled, but looked uncertain. “Please . . .” she whispered. “Don’t ask anymore . . .” She placed her hands on Kim’s head and slowly pushed it down along her body.

  Kim kissed her way down Sonja’s body, and Sonja writhed beneath her. The nearer Kim came to the place between her legs, the more Sonja’s body stiffened, went hard. “You don’t have to,” Kim said softly. “You don’t have to force yourself.” She looked up.

  “Yes, I do.” Sonja’s breathing was shallow. “I want you to know how much –” Her hands dug into the sofa. “How much I love you,” she went on in a whisper.

  “You told me that already,” Kim replied. “You don’t have to prove it.”

  “But I want to.” Sonja’s voice became firmer, but at the same time, she was still trembling. “It’s silly that I’ve never done it before. I’m not a kid anymore.”

  “Beloved . . .” Kim laughed gently. “That’s no reason. There aren’t any rules about . . . about things like this.”

  Sonja raised her head and gave Kim a serious look. “I want to experience it,” she said tremulously. “Don’t you understand? You told me that it’s the most enjoyable thing two women can do together. And I’ve never done it. I’ve deprived you of the most enjoyable thing.” She sank back, exhausted.

  “Mostly, you deprived yourself. But that doesn’t mean you have to –”

  “Please . . .” Sonja whispered. “Don’t talk anymore. I can’t. This is awful.”

  “I’m sorry.” Kim didn’t know why she was hesitating. Sonja’s previous refusal must still be feeling much too present to her, and she didn’t want to contravene Sonja’s wishes, which had always been so important to her. She leaned down and carefully spread Sonja’s thighs farther apart. Overwhelmed, she paused there.

  It wasn’t the first time she’d seen Sonja down there, that had never been forbidden, but it was the first time she knew she would be permitted to touch her, not just with her hand – but with her lips, her tongue, her mouth.

  She swallowed. Her mouth felt dry. Sonja’s chestnut-brown fleece shimmered just as seductively as the hair on her head when it shone in the sun. It was the moisture that generated tiny reflections of light on the hairs, with assistance from the warm glow of the lamp.

  Kim let her hand float above it cautiously, without pressing into the hairs; she only tickled their surface gently.

  Sonja sighed, and her hips arched upwards. “Please . . .” she whispered anew.

  Kim slowly let herself sink down, considering once again the dense jungle guarding Sonja’s entrance, which gave a reddish glow from the depths of the forest.

  She knew that she could barely hold back her tongue any longer; it was already thrusting against the insides of Kim’s lips, trying to open them.

  Kim embraced Sonja’s trembling thighs and took possession of that swollen paradise, engulfing it with her mouth, stroking the bulging labia with her tongue. She thrust in between them, and the fleshy fruit opened itself wide.

  Sonja stiffened, but at the same time, she moaned out loud, with what sounded like relief.

  Kim let her tongue thrust in as far as it could, feeling the small rough raised area inside the entrance, and began to caress it with the tip of her tongue.

  Sonja’s moans became louder. Her thighs twitched, her bottom thrust itself in Kim’s direction, as if she wanted to be even closer to her than she already was.

  Kim felt Sonja’s pearl pulsating as it grew harder and more swollen. She tried to envelope clit and labia all at once, to suck in everything between her own lips. Sonja tasted wonderful.

  Sonja laid her hands on Kim’s head, caressing the soft shock of hair. “Kim . . .” she whispered. “Kim . . .” Her hips began thrusting against Kim, in the same rhythm with which Kim was thrusting her tongue inside her. “Oh . . . oh . . . oh . . .” She sighed and moaned alternately.

  Kim licked Sonja’s labia with the appreciation of a connoisseur, savoring the sweet nectar that had been off limits to her until now. She entered Sonja with one finger, stro
king her from the inside now as she continued to flick her tongue across Sonja’s pearl.

  Sonja jerked upwards, moaned loudly, fell back.

  Kim’s finger no longer thrust inside her, but merely caressed her while she encouraged Sonja’s pearl to grow ever larger with her tongue and lips, until it seemed ready to burst.

  Sonja’s moans sounded tortured. “Oh . . . oh my God . . .” she whispered. “Oh yes . . . oh yes . . . yes . . .” She jerked upwards once again. Kim held tight to her thighs, so that she could not escape her reach, and redoubled her efforts with tongue, lips, and fingers.

  “Oh God . . . oh God!” Sonja screamed.

  Kim felt how Sonja clenched around her fingers, how her pearl rivaled a pebble in hardness and nearly leapt from its sheath, how Sonja’s belly fluttered and then became so solid one could’ve bounced a ball on it.

  Sonja stopped breathing. Her body arched, and suddenly, a scream burst forth from her, a mix of a moan and a cry for help; her hands dug deep into the back and seat of the couch; she was stiff as a board, her entire body an elegantly bowed bridge.

  She stayed in the air like this for several seconds, then collapsed and began breathing again, gasping heavily.

  Kim didn’t worry about that; she went on caressing her.

  “Are you . . . insane?” Sonja’s gasps turned into a horror-stricken question.

  “That wasn’t all, not by a long shot.” Kim grinned. “You know that.”

  “Help,” Sonja breathed.

  “Gladly.” Kim’s lips tenderly encircled Sonja’s pearl. Once more, the tip of her tongue performed a delicate dance upon it, and Sonja could no longer release her clenched fingers from the sofa.

  “Please . . . please don’t . . .” Sonja gasped for air. “That was at least twenty.” Quite some time had passed, and Sonja’s skin glowed red, as if she had been lying in the sun too long, although she’d only been on the couch the whole time, hardly changing position at all.

  “Oh, come on, not even.” Kim chuckled. “Ten at the most.”

  “It feels more like a hundred to me.” Sonja took a deep breath, but still could not breathe evenly afterward. “They are so intense. Please, please, no more. I can’t do it anymore. Mercy . . .”

  Kim rested her face against Sonja’s soft thigh. “One minute’s rest,” she said with a smile.

  “An hour. At least.” Sonja freed her fingers from the sofa and placed them upon Kim’s hair, caressing it. “Come to me, please,” she asked softly.

  Kim lifted her head and looked at her, then slid slowly up her body. “Was it nice?” she asked tenderly.

  “No, I was just faking all that,” Sonja replied. She recovered quickly. She grinned. “How can you even ask me that?”

  “I just wanted to be sure.” Kim nuzzled her head against Sonja’s breast. “You never know.”

  Sonja’s breathing calmed. She lay there, still, stroking Kim’s hair, winding one strand after another around her fingers. “I was so stupid,” she said after a while.

  “Stupid? Why?” Kim raised her head.

  “That I waited so long for that. I don’t know why.”

  “You don’t know?”

  “Well, yes, I do.” Sonja grimaced. “But . . . I needn’t have. With you.” She sighed. “I’m sorry.”

  “It can be nice to save some things for later. Anticipation can be the best part.”

  “I wasn’t really . . . looking forward to it. I just thought, you wanted it so much, so . . .”

  “Because of me?” Kim gaped at her. “You only did it because of me?”

  “It was about time,” Sonja said. “I wanted to give you something that I . . . that I’d never given anyone else.”

  “Never? But you said –”

  “Yes . . . well . . . I – It was never enjoyable for me. I only acted like it so that . . . so that we could get on with things. Whenever I could, I avoided it. My mother said that . . . respectable women don’t do that sort of thing, only –”

  “Your mother.” Kim gritted her teeth.

  “Yes, I know, you don’t understand it, but –” Sonja gave her an unhappy look. “It was always a battle inside me. I had very different needs than my mother would ever have permitted, and then . . . I always felt somehow . . . depraved.”

  Kim smiled. “I remember. You said that to me once. I thought it was a joke. I mean, as passionate as you are . . . I’ve rarely encountered a woman more passionate than you are.”

  “Yes, that’s the worst part.”

  Kim bent over her. “Is it . . . better now?” she asked gently. “Or do you still feel that way?”

  “With you, it’s been different from the start.” Sonja gave her a searching look, as if she were trying to take in the image. “Perhaps because it was so different. Which muddled everything.”

  Kim sighed. “Indeed.”

  “I am so sorry,” Sonja said. “But . . . but after we came back from the seminar, everything was much more complicated than it was in the first place. I didn’t know what to do.”

  “That’s over. It’s not important anymore.”

  “I’m constantly feeling the need to apologize to you. But I couldn’t act any other way.” Sonja looked even unhappier.

  “I know. It was just so confusing for me back then.”

  “I can imagine,” Sonja said. “Especially now that I’ve experienced the way you . . . interact with each other. Jo and Jennifer . . . and Sandra. If I had been Sandra, things would’ve been so simple for you.”

  “Maybe. But then, maybe not.” Kim laughed. “I don’t think I’m enough of a crazy artist for Sandra. That probably would’ve caused problems.”

  Sonja shook her head. “That is something I don’t understand in the slightest. That is one way that the two of us are completely different.”

  “You have no idea how glad I am about that,” Kim said softly, bending down over Sonja.

  Sonja wrapped her arms around Kim’s neck and pulled her close. “Me, too.” She propped one leg up and made Kim moan, because she was pressing against her center. “I think the hour is over,” Sonja said with a smile. Her eyes became hooded. “I want you to come on me, take me, do everything to me that you can think of. There are no more taboos, and I want to feel that.” Her voice sounded hoarse.

  Hot lightning bolts shot through Kim’s belly. Her arousal had only been taking a little nap. Now, its eyes were open and it was wide awake. Kim began to move on top of Sonja. She could tell that this was going to go quickly, because everything inside her yearned for Sonja. Her movements grew fiercer. Sonja moaned beneath her. “Come, yes, come . . .”

  She spread her wetness across Sonja’s thigh, sliding back and forth ever faster, thrusting her hips into Sonja’s as if she meant to penetrate her. The volcano inside her boiled higher and higher; she paused and let it sink back into its crater once more. Sonja waited, breathing heavily beneath her.

  Kim pressed her thighs so tight that Sonja moaned aloud, because she was squeezing hers so hard between them. She began again to give free rein to her arousal, this time without interruption. The crater broke loose, and her insides overflowed with streams of boiling lava, with jets convulsing violently, until she collapsed on top of Sonja.

  Sonja only let her rest for a moment before starting to tantalize her again. “Revenge is sweet.” She smiled, looking like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth.

  Kim couldn’t answer because the next volcano was already about to erupt; she could barely get enough air to survive the explosion. “I didn’t do such horrible things to you,” she defended herself with great effort between two gasps.

  “Much worse,” Sonja asserted. “Beside which: horrible? You call this horrible? Then you don’t know what you’re in for.” She immediately let Kim feel what she meant, encompassing Kim’s nipple with her lips at the same time that her hand wandered between her legs.

  “You devil woman.” Kim moaned in agony.

  “Always happy to be of service.” Sonja chuck
led.

  Kim let the orgasm wash over her like a tidal wave, which still didn’t quench the volcano inside her. An idea occurred to her. “Now we can finally do something we never could before,” she said with a naughty wink. The next moment, she had spun around and landed upside-down between Sonja’s legs.

  She felt Sonja grasp her buttocks as she dove back inside Sonja’s jungle. Sonja’s tongue thrust inside her at the same time. They both moaned, Kim’s lower belly trembling against Sonja’s face.

  Although it was already the middle of the night, tiredness couldn’t begin to stop them.

  They didn’t fall asleep until morning.

  ~*~*~*~

  Kim awoke on the couch, although without Sonja. Every one of her limbs let her know that the couch was not the ideal place to spend the night, and she moaned as she rose.

  She staggered into the kitchen. “You can’t be serious!” she burst out when she saw Sonja, clad only in a bathrobe, sitting at the kitchen table, bent over her file folders.

  Sonja looked up with a guilty expression on her face. “I won’t go to the office, even though it’s Saturday. But –”

  “All right, fine.” Kim waved it away. Her next stop was the coffeemaker. “I’ll have to get used to this sooner or later.”

  “I have a few things to get used to, too,” Sonja said. “Don’t I get a kiss?”

  Now Kim looked guilty. “Pardon me.” She went over to Sonja and kissed her gently.

  “We’re already like an old married couple. After fifty years, I mean.”

  “Oh, no.” Kim laughed. “It’s not that bad.” She brushed another kiss across Sonja’s lips. “It was just a. . . hmm . . . long, hard night.” She cast a mischievous glance at Sonja. “And you weren’t entirely blameless, either.” She looked down at the files and shook her head. “How can you get back to work again so fast?”

  “It’s not that I can, it’s that I have to.” Sonja sighed deeply and leaned back. “May I ask you something?”

  “Of course.” Kim went to the coffeemaker and got herself a mug from the shelf.