Forbidden Passion

by Ruth Gogoll

  “Do you want to keep living here?” Sonja asked.

  Kim spun around in surprise. “Uh, yes, actually, I was planning to. The apartment is enough for me. And I like it, too. I find it rather cozy. I like penthouse apartments.”

  “Me, too.” Sonja nodded. “It’s just that working at the kitchen table like this isn’t exactly my ideal.”

  “I’ve always kept my work confined to the office before. I’ve never had that problem.” Kim gave Sonja another scolding look.

  “Fine, fine, it’s my problem.” Sonja raised her hands. “I just thought – But if you want to go on living here, that settles it.” She turned back to her paperwork.

  Kim’s brow knit. “What would happen if I didn’t want to keep living here?” She poured a cup of coffee for herself and one for Sonja, picked up both mugs, and carried them to the table, although there wasn’t much room for them, Sonja having covered it with files.

  Sonja pushed a file folder to one side so that Kim could set her coffee cup next to it. “You don’t want to. It was just a question.”

  “Please, Sonja . . .” Kim sat across the table from her, holding her own coffee cup, because there really wasn’t any space for it on the table. “You don’t just toss out pointless questions. That’s not remotely your style.”

  “How well you know me.” Sonja looked up and smiled.

  “In that regard, yes.” Kim sipped at her coffee, but it was still too hot. “You were always like that when you were my boss.”

  “You make more money now. You could afford a better apartment.”

  “Just because I’m making more money doesn’t mean I have to change apartments,” Kim responded, confused. “Especially since I like this one.”

  “No, you don’t have to.” Sonja paged through a file some more and looked up a moment later. “Then I’ll just have to move on my own.” She laughed softly. “I really need an office at home, I’m sorry.”

  “You said you were going to find yourself an apartment.” That was nothing new to Kim; even though she’d prefer to keep Sonja here with her, this apartment probably really was too small for two people in the long run. At least it was if one of them wanted to work there, too.

  “Yes, I said that.” Sonja closed one file and picked up the next.

  “What is it, Sonja? Don’t be so secretive.” Kim checked again to see whether her coffee had cooled down enough.

  “I’m not being secretive, I just thought – well, I had my eye on an apartment, but for me alone . . . I’ll keep looking, it doesn’t matter.” The file was subjected to an intensive examination.

  Had Kim not been so worn out by the previous night that she felt like a wrung-out towel, the coffee probably would’ve taken effect sooner and spurred her brain cells to action. So it took her a while. “You want to move in with me officially?” she asked, stunned.

  Sonja raised her head. “I’m already living with you.”

  “For a few days. In the interim. I hadn’t figured that you –” Kim took a large swallow of coffee. Eventually, she had to wake up. “That you . . . really, properly . . .”

  “I have to find an apartment, one way or the other. So I thought maybe the two of us – but if you love your apartment, I certainly don’t want to force you out of it.”

  “Well, if that’s what this is about, what I love, then you are most definitely head and shoulders above anything else.” Kim smiled. “Why didn’t you say so in the first place?”

  “I thought I had.” Sonja looked at her, astonished.

  “The things you think . . .” Kim stood up and kissed her on the cheek. “I would be happy to move in with you, woman of my dreams,” she said, smiling. “If you’ve been doing so much thinking, you might’ve thought of that, too.”

  “I would’ve understood if you –” Sonja was playing nervously with her pen. “I mean, my living here with you wasn’t planned. And it was only supposed to be for a little while. It wasn’t a decision about the future.”

  “No, it wasn’t, but it has apparently escaped you how I’ve enjoyed every second of your being here.” Kim smiled. “Falling asleep together, waking up together, having breakfast together; coming home to an empty apartment after work, true, but knowing that it’s not going to stay empty, or else coming home with you after work – that’s a wonderful feeling.”

  “Some people find so much closeness intimidating.”

  “If anyone, then I would’ve thought that would be you,” Kim replied.

  Sonja inhaled and exhaled quickly. “Yeah, me, too. I wouldn’t have thought that I . . . that I would ever – these last few years, I’ve so often wished that I could finally be alone, that I could shut the door behind me and no one else would be there . . .”

  “Of course.” Kim leaned over her and embraced her shoulders. “I understand that. Which is why I also thought you’d want to enjoy your own space for a while.”

  “I’m married,” Sonja said.

  Kim jerked up with a start.

  “And yet, I never felt that way.” Sonja looked at her. “But since I’ve been here – with you – I have felt that way.”

  Kim had been staring at her all along, and now that rigid stare definitely didn’t want to let go. “With me?” she asked in disbelief.

  “It’s so different,” Sonja continued. “So relaxed. So natural. There’s so much peace here. When I imagined being alone in a new apartment, I suddenly felt sad. It wasn’t what I wanted anymore.”

  “You can stay here and work at the kitchen table, too.” Kim smiled.

  Sonja laughed. “I don’t exactly want that either. Don’t be mad at me, but – that really isn’t the way to go.”

  “All right, maybe not.” Kim caressed Sonja’s cheek affectionately. “I want you to get your home office as soon as possible.” She straightened up and looked around. “Although it will be hard for me to leave this. I’ve always felt content here.”

  “Alone . . . in your bed . . . after I’d left?” Sonja asked.

  Kim looked at her. “No, not then,” she replied seriously. “Not remotely.” She smiled again. “Where is the apartment you like so much? How big is it? Tell me about it.”

  A hesitant smile slowly overtook Sonja’s face. “You want to move there with me?”

  “I can’t answer that until I’ve seen it. But since I know your good taste, I assume that I would want to, yes.”

  “It really is big enough for the two of us. Each of us can have an office and a bedroom –”

  “Separate bedrooms?” Kim gave Sonja an astonished look.

  “Well, that would have its advantages,” Sonja said. “When I come home late from work and you’re already asleep . . .”

  “I want you to wake me in any case,” Kim said. “But if you insist on separate bedrooms . . . Then we might as well keep separate apartments.”

  “I don’t insist. I just thought it would be more practical.”

  “Have I ever mentioned that you think too much?”

  “I think I vaguely recall something like that,” Sonja replied with a chuckle. “Fine, then, just one bedroom, I have nothing against that. But I don’t want to hear you complain when I interrupt your sweet dreams at night.”

  “The sweetest dream doesn’t start until you get there.” Kim leaned down and pressed her cheek against Sonja’s. “Every day. That’ll be wonderful.”

  “I’ll have to ask you about that again in a couple of years,” Sonja said, “after you’ve become haggard from too many nights without enough sleep.”

  “I’m sure there will be plenty of nights without enough sleep,” Kim countered with a grin, “but both of us will be haggard from those.”

  “I’ll have to think about those separate bedrooms again.” Sonja looked sidelong at Kim.

  “You’re one to talk.” Kim grinned again.

  “Caught me.” Sonja sighed. “You could see the apartment next week, if you want. Then you can decide. The realtor told me I could have until Wednesday to decide.�
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  “Good.” Kim straightened. “I’ll go take a shower, so you can work in peace. But I hope to get a few minutes of your Saturday, as well.”

  “We need to go shopping,” Sonja said. “I’ll grant you those few minutes. I can’t live without egg cups any longer.”

  ~*~*~*~

  “When is Sonja coming?”

  “I’m not making any concrete predictions about that.” Kim sighed and looked at Sandra. “They’ve completely missed the mark too many times before.”

  “Why does that sound familiar to me?” Felicity looked at Sandra, too.

  “Yes, I know.” Sandra looked contrite. “But there’s always so much to get done . . .”

  “The supermarket closes at the same time every day,” Felicity pointed out.

  “But that’s when the real work starts,” Sandra defended herself. “During the day, there’s no time, and on top of that, I have the second store now, too.”

  “If you wanted to build a company, you might’ve told me earlier,” Felicity commented.

  “When?” Sandra looked deep into her eyes.

  Kim laughed. “If you two want to fight, go home. Don’t do it at our housewarming party.”

  “Who’s fighting?” Felicity batted her eyelashes innocently.

  “I really like this apartment a lot.” Sandra let her eyes roam over what she could see from there. “I could imagine living here, too.”

  “No wonder. Sonja picked it out,” Kim said. “You have the same taste.”

  “But you seem to like it, too.” Sandra picked up a glass and a tiny sandwich from the buffet table. “I’ll toast to your new apartment now, then. If Sonja’s not coming –”

  “Who says I’m not coming?” Sonja stepped from the entryway into the living room.

  “Your work, sister dear,” Sandra replied with a grin. “I really wasn’t expecting you.”

  “You’re here, too, so our work is just going to have to get along without us today.” Sonja came over to them.

  Jennifer and Jo returned from their walk-through. “Fabulous,” Jennifer said. “Really nice.”

  “We like it.” Kim smiled at Sonja and handed her a glass. “So, now we can make a toast. Nice of all of you to come.” There were several other people there as well, who all now joined them with their glasses.

  There was a general peal of laughter when the glasses clinked each other, since each one sounded different, almost like a melody.

  “You are my sunshine,” Kim said. “Did you hear it?” Her affectionate smile prompted Sonja to smile back.

  “With a great deal of imagination,” she said.

  “I have enough imagination for that anytime.” Kim’s eyes sank so deep into Sonja’s, they lost sight of the world around them.

  “Best of luck in your new home,” said Susi, coming over to them. “You have plenty of bread and salt, after all.” Housewarming presents were piled up on top of the coffee table.

  Kim tore herself away from Sonja’s eyes. “Perhaps I should’ve mentioned that excessive salt consumption is bad for you.” She smiled.

  “And that bread makes you fat,” Sonja added, linking arms with her. “The next thing we’ll have to buy is a freezer, to freeze all that bread.” She looked at Kim. “You see, I was right.”

  “Of course, darling, as always.” Kim sighed. “Sonja wanted a freezer from the start, but I said we didn’t need one for just two people. It’s not necessary.”

  “They’re always practical,” Jennifer said. “We have one now, too.”

  “You got it as a wedding present,” Kim replied. “That’s different.”

  “You’re just stingy,” Jennifer said. “Admit it. And you two really have no reason to complain about money.”

  “Just because a person has more money than before, doesn’t mean she has to spend it right away,” Kim said. “I’m just thrifty.”

  “Stingy,” Jennifer repeated, grinning.

  “I’ll buy a freezer tomorrow, then it’ll be settled.” Sonja shot Kim a twinkling look. “I haven’t been shopping for kitchen appliances in ages, anyway.”

  Kim rolled her eyes. “If I’d known you loved the shopping for the kitchen that much –” She looked at Jennifer. “Usually, she has no time, but she can spend hours looking at kitchen wares.”

  “I’ll go with you,” Sandra said. “I need a few things for the kitchen, too.”

  “Good, you two go. Then at least I don’t have to go along.” Kim exhaled with relief.

  “She hates the kitchen department.” Sonja chuckled. “She can barely tell a pot from a pan.”

  “Hey, now, that’s definitely an exaggeration.” Kim contradicted her indignantly.

  “When I moved in with you, I had to eat my eggs without an egg cup,” Sonja said, with a reproving look.

  Kim looked at the floor, embarrassed.

  Jo laughed. “Sounds like us, doesn’t it?” She looked at Jennifer.

  Jennifer nodded. “A bit.”

  “You two brought your honeymoon videos, didn’t you,” Kim said. “Can we watch them now?”

  The television was turned on, and a moment later, the blue waters of the Caribbean shimmered on the screen. The video was barely finished when everyone started talking about vacations, and Kim switched on the stereo for those who wanted to dance.

  She danced all evening with Sonja, and the apartment felt like a ballroom in paradise. She didn’t want to be anywhere else, not as long as she could look into Sonja’s loving eyes.

  Hours later, Kim and Sonja collapsed into bed, exhausted. “If you still want sex now, you’re going to have to help yourself,” Sonja murmured sleepily. “You know where everything is.”

  Kim laughed softly. “Let’s put it off ‘til morning,” she said, snuggling up with Sonja; soon, both of them had fallen asleep.

  ~*~*~*~

  Rolf and Margit came out of the house at the same time as Kim and Sonja drove up. “It’s so lovely that you could come visit us.”

  Kim laughed after they’d exchanged greetings. “You two look thoroughly healthy. All tan, like you’ve just come back from vacation.”

  “We’re on vacation every day now.” Rolf grinned.

  “You, maybe, but not me.” Margit nodded to Rolf. “No, he isn’t, either. Hauling stones around all day – which he isn’t really supposed to do, his doctor said. But we’ve determined that it doesn’t hurt him – it’s like a good workout. And since there’s no gym in the neighborhood, we exercise out in the open countryside.”

  “There’s no better way to have it,” Sonja said.

  “We think so, too.” Rolf beamed. “And now both of you are here, too.”

  “You look ten years younger,” Kim remarked, amazed. “You could come right back to work.”

  “Not that!” Rolf waved that idea away. “No, no, those days are over.”

  “If he ever dared to do that, I would get a divorce, even after our golden wedding anniversary.” Margit’s eyes twinkled with amusement. She knew Rolf would never do that to her.

  “Didn’t you say the house was half ruined?” Sonja asked, amazed, since the house really didn’t look that way at all.

  “It was, when we got here.” Margit gestured toward a small outbuilding. “Like that one there.” The outbuilding had a very makeshift roof, no windows, and extremely wobbly-looking walls.

  “And you made this out of that?” Kim looked just as amazed as Sonja at the rather solid-appearing main house.

  “Yes, the two of us old folks.” Rolf laughed. “With a little help from the village. There are always a few people who want to earn a little extra. Young fellows who can’t find much work here in the area.”

  “Do the horses belong to you?” Sonja had spotted a couple of horses not far from the house.

  “Camargue horses don’t belong to anyone,” Rolf explained. “But I think the horses believe that we belong to them. Because there are always such delicious things to eat around here.” He looked at Margit.

&
nbsp; “I don’t get around to baking cakes much anymore,” Margit said – Kim exhaled in silent relief –, “but I do it for the horses from time to time.”

  “They eat your cakes?” Anyone looking closely would’ve seen that Sonja was having to fight off a laughing attack, but she controlled herself and tried not to be too obvious about it.

  “They love them,” Margit said. “Although I have changed the ingredients a little. Too much sugar isn’t good for horses.”

  It’s not good for humans, either, Kim thought, trying to suppress a grin. That had never bothered Margit.

  “Now that you’re finally keeping your promise,” Rolf said, beaming at Kim even more. “And you even brought Sonja with you . . .” He placed a hand on Sonja’s shoulder, directed Kim with the other, and pushed both of them into the house. “There’s coffee to start with, French coffee. If you’re not used to it, it’ll scrub your taste buds right off, but you get used to it.”

  “I thought you weren’t supposed to drink coffee anymore,” Kim said.

  “I like the aroma. And besides, I only drink decaf. But it tastes just as bitter as the other kind.” Rolf laughed.

  For the next few hours, they sat over coffee and cake and told stories, and in fact, Margit’s horse cake was palatable, so that Kim and Sonja were able to eat theirs without too much effort.

  “You two have a long drive behind you,” Margit said afterwards. “I’m sure you’ll want a rest. I’m afraid there’s only one room for the two of you. The other one isn’t finished yet. We don’t get that many visitors.”

  Kim and Sonja looked at each other, both thinking the same thing. They followed Margit through the house, which grew darker the farther inside they went. As was the custom in hot countries, people tried to leave the light and the warmth outdoors.

  Once Margit had left them alone, Kim and Sonja sank together into the depths of the French bed. It was different from the ones they were used to in Germany. Here in the Camargue they both kept rolling into the middle. A person could only lie near the edge if she were the only one in the bed; as soon as there were two of them, the bed slanted inward.

  “This is definitely not a bed for singles who want to sleep apart.” Kim lay next to Sonja, as close as the bed demanded, and laughed.