Crazy Sexy Love

by Alison G. Bailey

  “Well, that’s not my fault.” He snickered and walked toward the laundry room which was right off the kitchen. “I thought I left them down here. I’m shooting baskets with the guys this morning. Our other balls needed to be replaced, so I bought two new ones. They’ll kill me if I don’t bring them.”

  The expression on Bryson’s face was indescribable. I knew a thousand questions were rolling around her head wanting to escape all at once. When I agreed to let Doug stay here, I knew our friends would find out eventually. I wasn’t trying to hide anything. There was nothing to hide. This living arrangement was temporary, one person helping out another person thing. But I wanted to explain the situation myself and in my own time. With the “event” of last night, Bryson showing up unexpectedly this morning, and the dangerous lack of coffee in my system, I was not in the best of moods.

  I cleared my throat and said, “Let’s go.”

  The sound of things being moved around in the laundry room echoed through the kitchen.

  Bryson cocked an eyebrow. “We’re not going anywhere. Besides you’ve barely touched your breakfast.”

  I bit off as much cinnamon roll as my mouth could hold, causing my cheeks to puff out like a chipmunk’s.

  “All done,” I said through a mouth full of food.

  “Found them!” Doug shouted.

  He walked into the kitchen carrying two brand new basketballs and placed them on the counter. My gaze fluttered toward him, watching each upper torso muscle ripple as he pulled his shirt over his head. While shoving his lean cut arms through the sleeves, he looked over at me and chuckled. “Gee, Soph, didn’t you get enough of an eye full last night?”

  My eyes widened to twice their original size. I was unable to toss him a comeback since I was still working on swallowing a half pound of dough.

  Doug picked up his coffee and resumed his position leaning back on the counter. “So what do you ladies have planned for today?”

  Since I still couldn’t speak, Bryson answered. “Nothing much. Just a little girl talk.”

  “Aces!” he replied with an overabundance of cheer in his voice.

  The room fell silent. Bryson’s gaze swung back and forth between Doug and my still dough bloated face.

  After what seemed like a thousand years, Doug tilted his head way back, draining the last bit of coffee from the mug. “Aw, good to the last drop. Well, I would love to stay, but the guys are waiting, and I have errands to do. See y’all later.”

  I forced my eyes to stay put, but Bryson watched as Doug grabbed his balls and headed out the back door.

  With the click of the door shutting, Bryson’s head slowly turned in my direction. In a steady and calm manner, she picked up her coffee, took a sip, and placed it back down.

  Two more hard swallows caused the last bit of roll to finally slide down my throat. With palms firmly planted, I pushed away from the table. “Well, I think we need to get going.”

  “Oh, I think not,” Bryson said. “Now scoot your little patootie back up to the table and start talking.”

  “If we don’t leave now, we’re going to miss class.”

  “I’m not going anywhere until I find out what Doug and his balls are doing here.”

  I blew out a defeated breath and pulled my chair back up to the table. “There really isn’t much to tell. He showed up at my door late Thursday night needing a place to stay.”

  “Hart told me about the condo flooding. But that doesn’t explain why Doug is here. He has other options. A hotel.”

  “He doesn’t like them.”

  “Colin.”

  “He’s too much of a tight ass.”

  “Ronnie and Ju…”

  “Julia is not a fan,” I interrupted.

  Her beautiful facial features squished together. “Oh, that’s right. I forgot about the unicorn incident. He could stay with Hart and me.”

  “Your extra bedroom is now Hope’s.”

  “Sophie, it’s a three-bedroom house. We use the third room as an office, but there’s a large futon in there Doug could sleep on.”

  Hart and Bryson’s house was like a second home to me. I was in and out of that place all the time. How in the world had I forgotten about the third bedroom futon? Certainly, Doug could futon it for a few weeks. The thought caused a feeling of peace to wash over me. My life would return to its original orderly state.

  “That’s an idea, but since he’s already unpacked his things and settled into a routine, Doug may as well stay here.”

  Doug may as well stay here?

  My lips were moving and it was my voice I heard, but these were not my words. These were the words of a person in the midst of temporary insanity. There was no other rational explanation. Suddenly, I heard the faint sound of my name being called.

  “Earth to Sophie,” Bryson said. “So you’re good with Doug living here?”

  Sitting up straighter, I squared my shoulders and donned what some might consider a defensive attitude. “No, I’m not good with Doug living here. But I’m not completely coldhearted you know.”

  “I never said you were.”

  “When a person whom I’ve known for a number of years and see on a semi-regular basis asks me for help, I’m more than okay extending the nicety. But I’m not good with it.”

  Bryson stared at me, her expression blank. “I think I follow that logic.” She placed her hand gently on top of mine. “Sophie, is there something you want to tell me?”

  From the look in her eyes, I knew exactly what she was implying. I jerked my hand away. “No. No. No.” My pitch rising and falling with each denial. “We had Chinese and watched a movie.”

  Her hands went up in surrender. “You don’t have to get all prickly. I thought that—.”

  “Well, stop it.” I stood abruptly and marched my plate over to the sink.

  “Don’t be mad at me. All I want is for you to be happy.” Bryson got up and started putting breakfast away.

  “I’m not mad and I am happy,” I said while scrubbing the plate a little harder than necessary.

  Bryson appeared by my side and wrapped her arm around my shoulders. “Sophia Giavanna Cipriano, I can read you like a book. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

  “Noticed what?”

  “The way you look at Doug…”

  I chuckled, but not in a humorous way. “I think you’ve been snorting too much baby powder.”

  “And the way he looks at you.”

  “It’s called leering, like perverts do.”

  “The two of you have had a few close calls over the years. And with him being here…”

  “Are you serious right now? You think I have feelings for Doug? I mean, I do have feelings. Disdain is a feeling.”

  “You can deny all you want. Just be careful with your heart.”

  I turned and looked into the concerned eyes of my best friend. I knew deep down she meant well. Besides my grandmother, Bryson was the only other person in my life who loved me unconditionally. Knowing she always spoke from her heart made it difficult for me to stay mad at her for any length of time.

  “You have nothing to worry about. My heart is all locked up, safe and secure. Now let’s get going or we’ll lose our regular spot in class.”

  And with that I walked out of the room, not waiting to hear her response.

  HALFWAY DOWN THE stairs, I heard muffled voices coming from the kitchen. I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that the human buffer would prevent alone time with Sophie. What happened between us kept me up most of the night. After escaping to my room, I spent half the restless night thinking about our moment and the feelings it brought to the surface. The other half I spent thinking about Sophie in various stages of undress. So it wasn’t a total loss.

  As I got closer to the kitchen door, I recognized the other voice. It was Bryson, a soft buffer at best. My left eyelid twitched. A nervous tic I had developed at the tender age of eight when females became a part of my life. If it had been anyone else in there with
Sophie, I’d have a more than decent shot at getting out of here unscathed. But Bryson was Sophie’s best friend and very protective. The way I saw it, there was a seventy-five percent chance things would get uncomfortable.

  If I could have avoided going in there I would have, but I was meeting the guys. I needed coffee and my gym bag. My plan was to be adorably charming as usual, acting as if all was normal. And by the way things went, I’d say it had been a great success.

  BY THE TIME I pulled into the parking lot of my high school alma mater, the guy’s cars were parked and they were inside. Hart, Colin, Ronnie, and I had some awesome times roaming these halls until our senior year. That was the year Hart moved, causing him to attend a school across town. It was also the year Hart’s mom got sick. Up until that point we all loved coming to this school.

  Colin loved it so much that, once he graduated college, he applied for a teaching positon. He was the most beloved History teacher at Newberry High. There was a student waiting list to get into his class. And a line of single ladies comprised of faculty, staff, and parents who turned into giggling goo with a flash of his smile. That’s how we got use of the basketball court on the weekends. Colin worked his magic with the athletic director, Coach Willbanks, and he handed over the keys. Huh, I guess Colin’s powers extend beyond the ladies.

  Usually it was only the four of us, but today, Nick and John, Hart’s teammates from his wheelchair basketball team were joining us for a good old game of shirts versus skins.

  As I entered the gym, I was greeted by the raspy voice of the man I admired the most in the world. “It’s about damn time! Get your balls over here!” Hart bellowed.

  Laughter bounced off every wall as I made my way over to the guys. “Keep your panties on, sweetheart.”

  “Why are you late, dude?” Ronnie said.

  I dropped the two basketballs and sat down on one of the bleachers. “I had to look for my balls.”

  The guys all exchanged knowing looks before bursting into laughter.

  Colin was the first to compose himself. “Well, they are… Never mind. It’s too easy.”

  “Dougie, before you left your place did you remember to give each ball a few good pumps… of air,” Ronnie barely got his lame ass joke out before laughter had his body convulsing.

  “Joke’s on you, asshole. You don’t pump your balls when jerking off.” I thought for a second, then scrunched my brows. “Do you?”

  The guys erupted in laughter once again.

  Hart rolled over to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. “Now guys, let’s lay off our boy. Nick, John, you remember Doug and his tiny balls.” I shrugged Hart’s hand off my shoulder. “Let’s get down to business. Me, Colin, and Doug, shirts. You guys, skins. Everybody cool with that?”

  We all grunted our approval.

  “By the way, my balls and dick are the right shape, length, and girth. And all are superior in function,” I said.

  The guys held up their hands and backed away, groaning and shaking their heads.

  Hart grabbed one of the basketballs and hurled it toward Ronnie. “Y’all go warmup.” He turned his attention to me. “We love ya, man. That’s why we kid ya.”

  “Yeah, I can feel the love,” I said sarcastically.

  I checked my shoes and retied them tighter, as Hart rolled toward the court. He had gotten only about three feet away from me when Nick rolled up to him. At first I wasn’t paying much attention to their conversation, but when I heard Sophie’s name my ears perked up.

  “I completely understand if you’re not cool with it. It’s just that ever since I saw her at one of our games, I haven’t been able to get her out of my head,” Nick said to Hart.

  “I think it’s a great idea. Sophie is a handful, but an awesome handful. As long as you are up for the challenge, I say go for it.”

  “Thanks, man. You wouldn’t happen to have her number, would you?”

  “Remind me after the game and I’ll text it to you.” Hart gave Nick a friendly slap on the shoulder before joining the other guys.

  I didn’t know much about Nick, only that he was ex-military, got injured in Afghanistan putting him in the wheelchair, and he was the spitting image of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. He was also delusional if he thought a date with Sophie was in his future.

  As I formulated how to foil Nick’s plan, I watched him pull his tight T-shirt over his big head to reveal his bulging muscles. One of this dude’s arms was as big as my leg. A large dark tattoo draped over his entire shoulder. No Hello Kitty in sight. I inhaled a deep breath and slid down the bleacher toward him.

  “Hey, man, you ready to get your ass whipped?” Nick said jokingly.

  I chuckled. “Big talk, big guy.” I chuckled again. “Speaking of talking… I couldn’t help but overhear you and Hart.”

  Nick stuffed his T-shirt into his duffle bag. “Oh yeah?”

  Leaning forward, I placed my forearms on my knees. “So-o-o, Sophie.”

  “What about her?”

  “Great, gal. Great… great… great gal.”

  Clutching the wheels, Nick turned his chair and massive chest toward me. “She seems great. I hope to get to know her a lot better.”

  Prickly heat crawled up my neck.

  “Listen, I feel I should tell you something. You know, one bro to another. I wouldn’t recommend getting involved in all that.”

  Nick’s dark eyes narrowed. “And why is that?”

  “Sophie is a lot to handle.”

  His bright white teeth practically blinded me when he smiled. “I love the challenge of a strong woman.”

  “Good. Good. Good. Good. But there are other things.”

  “What other things?”

  I motioned for him to come closer. He did. I looked around making sure the other guys were busy warming up and out of earshot.

  Inconspicuously, I raised my hand to my face and pointed to the area above my mouth. “Sophie has a follicular mustachification in the lipular area.”

  “Dude, what are you talking about?”

  “It’s not something you want to wake up to. It can get pretty wooly.”

  “Well, when I saw her, her lips looked fine. In fact, they were hot,” he said.

  My shoulder muscles tensed as my right leg bounced frantically. With my palms flat, I pressed on my thighs in an attempt to keep my hands from curling into fists. This dude wasn’t backing down easily.

  I chuckled, covering up the fury simmering just below the surface.

  “That’s not the only issue. There is also a crotchal situation.”

  “Doug, do you have something going on with Sophie? Because if you do…”

  “She has a fire crotch,” I blurted.

  “Wait, I don’t think we’re talking about the same Sophie.”

  “There’s only one Sophie.”

  “Well, my Sophie has gorgeous black hair.”

  My jaw automatically clenched. Where did he get off claiming her? If anything she was mine.

  “Same woman,” I said annoyed.

  “Do you even know the definition of fire crotch?”

  “Uh… Yeah. It means if your dick gets anywhere near her, it’ll melt right off.”

  Laughter roared out of Nick. “It means a person is a redhead. Everywhere.”

  My eyes squinted. “Are you sure?”

  “One hundred percent, dude. Wait a sec, you’ve been fucking with me this whole time, haven’t you.” His big hand landed hard against my shoulder, causing me to lurch forward. “Hart said you were hilarious.”

  “Are you ladies going to chat all day or play?!” Colin hollered.

  “Coming!” Nick rolled away laughing, while I felt the agony of defeat.

  A few seconds later I dragged myself onto the basketball court. Hart immediately tossed me the ball and the game was on. Dodging my opponents, I dribbled down the court, ending with a lay-up into the basket. I grabbed the ball with the full intention of passing to Ronnie. Unfortunately, my aim was a little lower
and the ball ended up slamming into the side of Nick’s head.

  Oops.

  “Fuck!” Nick whimpered as he rubbed the side of his oversized cranium.

  Pussy.

  Hart rolled over with a look of concern painted on his face. “Nick, you all right, man?”

  “Yeah, I’m good.” Nick looked at me. “You need to work on your passing skills, dude.”

  “Yeah, Doug, we’re playing basketball not dodgeball,” Colin said.

  As I jogged away, I said, “You gotta man up to play a man’s game.”

  For the next hour and a half, I ran, jumped, and sweated my ass off. As I was leaving, I spotted Hart with phone in hand, huddled up with Nick. No doubt giving him Sophie’s number.

  SINCE I WAS drenched in my manly juices, I decided to stop at home to take a quick shower before running my errands. When I pulled up to the house and saw Sophie’s car wasn’t in the driveway, I was both happy and disappointed.

  Weird.

  I grabbed my duffle bag and headed straight upstairs. Once in my room, I kicked off my shoes, throwing my soaked socks on the pile of clothes that was climbing up the wall in the corner. As I made my way to the bathroom, I peeled off my T-shirt. I tossed the shirt over the shower curtain rod and turned on the water. While I waited for the water to heat up, I noticed I was out of towels. Since Sophie wasn’t home and I needed to replenish my towel supply, I decided it was the perfect time to do a little investigating. I’d stop when I found the towels.

  The first door I opened was a home office. No towels there. I walked a little farther and eyed a door that was obviously a linen closet. What got my attention was the last door. A door that was slightly ajar. It had to be the entrance into her lair. As I peeked into the room, I was very careful not to move the door. Knowing Sophie, she probably measured how wide she left it open. The room was decorated mainly in different shades of gray with pops of purple and violet coming from the comforter, pillows on the bed, and a big chair in the corner.

  Easing my head between the door and frame, to get a better look-see, I noticed Sophie’s phone on the dresser. Strange, she forgot to take it with her. All of a sudden, the screen flashed before going back again. My eyes shifted from side to side. I wasn’t sure why. Probably because what I was about to do was shifty. I slipped all the way into the room. As if having a mind of their own, one hand picked up the phone, while the other hand pressed down on the home button. The screen lit up with a text from Nick.