Summer at the Dog & Duck

by Jill Steeples

  ‘Well, she couldn’t deny it. We had a big bust up. She had a real go at Alan for telling me and then she started crying, saying how sorry she was and how she should never have kept it from me. I just couldn’t believe it. Why would you keep something like that from someone you loved? I just don’t get it.’ Katy looked from me to Max as though we might be able to give her the answers she’d been desperately searching for.

  ‘I expect Mum had good reasons for not telling you.’ Katy’s face flared with indignation. ‘I’m not excusing her behaviour,’ said Max quickly, holding up his hands defensively, ‘all I’m saying is that I don’t think she would have deliberately set out to hurt you or keep secrets from you. Sometimes things happen, people get into difficult situations and they don’t know how to get out of them or what to do for the best.’

  ‘She lied to me. I can never forgive her for that.’

  ‘She kept the truth from you, and that’s something slightly different,’ Max said. ‘Again, I’m not saying it’s right, I’m just trying to see it from Mum’s perspective. I don’t suppose it could have been easy for her.’

  More than ever now, I felt in the way. I tried to imagine myself in Katy’s shoes, but couldn’t. To find out that everything you held dear, that everything you thought was your reality, was in fact something else entirely, must be devastating at any age, but for Katy, a young and impressionable teenager, it was life-changing.

  ‘I don’t want to talk to her. It’s as if she isn’t my mum anymore. I’ve lost my mum and my dad. My whole life has been a lie.’ Katy’s voice quivered as she spoke, the sadness of her words filling the kitchen.

  No wonder she’d fled her home to come to the UK. It was the reason she’d been so emotional and temperamental. She’d wanted to get away from everything she knew and start again, but something as important as that, who you are and where you came from, you could never run away from.

  Max picked up Katy’s hand and looked his sister directly in the eye. ‘I know it must seem that way, but it isn’t true. Mum loves you. She’ll be devastated that this has happened and she’ll want to do anything to make it up to you. You are her daughter, after all. You’re still the same person, Katy, that hasn’t changed. I know you’ve received shocking news, but it doesn’t change who you are.’

  ‘It seems that way to me. Honestly, I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore.’ She looked up at us both and shrugged. ‘The man I thought was my dad isn’t my dad. I’ve not even met my real dad, although mum’s told me who he is now. And you’re only my half-brother, not even my proper brother,’ she said, laughing ruefully.

  ‘Listen, I don’t want to hear anything like that again. This changes nothing, do you understand? You’re still my sister. My pain-in the-arse little sister who winds me up and drives me mad with all the cheeky backchat and attitude, but, do you know, I wouldn’t change one single thing about you. You’re stuck with me, kiddo, whether you like it or not. I might not always show it, but I love you Katy, and nothing is ever going to change that.’

  At Max’s words Katy broke down in tears, sobbing into his arms, her body shuddering with the effort of it all and I had to turn away and concentrate on the view outside for fear of doing the same. Seeing Max acting so tenderly towards his sister touched me deep down inside, his discovery that she was only his half-sister only serving to make him more protective towards her. He held her head to his chest and soothed her tears by rubbing his hand up and down her back.

  ‘I thought you might not want me here when you found out I wasn’t your real sister.’

  ‘Stop saying that. You’re my sister, that’s the beginning and end of it.’

  ‘But when you kept saying you’d send me back to Spain, it got me really anxious. I know I haven’t been easy to live with, but I really like it here. I didn’t know what I would do if you sent me away. I can’t bear the thought of it.’

  ‘Look you’re not going anywhere. You can stay here with me as long as you like.’ He screwed up his face, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. ‘I don’t suppose I would have ever really sent you home anyway, despite what I was saying.’

  ‘Nah,’ I said, throwing Katy a complicit smile. ‘I would never have let him.’

  ‘I’ll always be here for you, Katy,’ Max said now. ‘This must have come as a complete shock and I can see why you’ve been so upset. That’s totally understandable. You must have so many questions that you need answers to. But in a way, it’s a good thing, that this has all come out now. It’s a new start, Katy. When you’re ready, you can talk to Mum, I don’t mind acting as go-between if that’s the way you want to do it.’

  ‘Thanks Max.’ Katy let her head fall again onto his chest and I could sense the relief flooding from her body. All the anger and frustration of the past few weeks now seeping from her body as Max cradled her in his arms.

  ‘So, what did Mum tell you about your dad then?’ he asked gently.

  ‘Only that his name’s Andrew Wren and that he was a painter and decorator who worked on the house for a short while. Mum said she can give me the last address she has for him, but I’m not sure if I even want to meet him at this stage. Did you know him, Max?’

  Max shook his head. ‘No, I can’t remember anyone of that name. Mind you, Dad always was terrible at DIY.’

  At least Katy could see the funny side, and when she sniggered, Max and I joined in too.

  Digby, Holly and Bella came up to my side at the sink and started nudging me with their noses. They circled Katy, unsettled by her tears, and were now coming to me for reassurance that everything was all right.

  ‘Look, I think I might take these hounds out for a walk.’

  ‘Can I come?’ said Katy, immediately brightening.

  ‘Of course you can, I just thought you might want to stay here and talk to Max.’

  ‘Nah, I love you and everything, Max, but to be honest with you I’m all talked out,’ said Katy, with a smile, as she jumped up out of her chair.

  As she disappeared upstairs to get changed, Max beckoned me over and pulled me into his arms.

  ‘Well,’ he said. ‘I wasn’t expecting that, although I guess it explains a lot now. That poor kid. I do feel for her.’

  ‘What a shock. Did you really have no idea?’

  He shook his head. ‘None whatsoever, but you know, I’m not totally surprised. My mum and dad were the most unlikely couple you could ever meet. She’s really bubbly and outgoing whereas Dad was very serious, an academic whose main focus was his work. Dad adored my mum, but he was never a very demonstrative man. She spent a lot of time on her own and well, I guess, she found solace in her gentlemen friends. I remember a few of them around.’

  ‘I see.’ Max rarely spoke about his upbringing, but when he did it helped me to understand better the man I’d fallen in love with. I’d seen a softer, more compassionate side to him today. ‘As you say though, probably best it’s all out in the open now. Families, eh?’

  Max pulled a face. ‘I know. It makes you think, doesn’t it? If that happy family scenario we all strive for actually exists?’

  ‘Yes, of course, it does,’ I said defensively, thinking about my own family set-up. My mum and dad had met as students at university and had been together ever since, happily devoted to each other. Now, they were into their second adolescence and having the time of their lives, indulging in the good life on the other side of the world.

  ‘Perhaps you’re right,’ he said, with a resigned smile.

  My gaze flittered over Max’s shoulder and out into the garden. The sun was waiting for me, calling me outside. I glanced at my watch. We needed to get going soon if I was to fit in a walk and get back for opening time.

  ‘Thanks for everything today, Ellie. It made all the difference knowing you were here. That I had your support.’ Max placed the gentlest of kisses on my forehead.

  ‘No problem. I’m just pleased Katy could finally get everything off her chest. For a while I felt a bit awkward, as though I was
in the way and that I shouldn’t really be here. That I was intruding on family business.’

  ‘Not at all. I’m sure if you hadn’t been here Katy wouldn’t have opened up in the same way. She trusts you, Ellie, and adores you too. I can tell that.’

  His words warmed my insides with their sincerity.

  ‘I love her too. She’s a great kid.’

  Max nodded. ‘Yeah, she can be when she’s not giving her big brother grief. So, we’ve sorted out Katy, hopefully. We’ve cleared the air over Sasha. Now,’ he said, taking hold of my hand by the fingertips, ‘It’s just you and me that needs sorting.’

  ‘I’m ready,’ said Katy bowling into the room.

  I threw Max a questioning glance.

  ‘Don’t worry. That can wait for another time.’

  Twenty-One

  Later, when I was back at the pub, I unlocked the front door ready for any early customers and my mind cast back over the discoveries made today. Hopefully now that Max knew what had been going on with Katy, he would be more understanding of her moods and perhaps now she didn't have to keep that huge secret to herself she would act more thoughtfully towards her brother. And maybe, George Clooney would turn up at the summer fete after all.

  My nerves were frazzled by the charged emotions of the last few days. I’d never been one for confrontation and I was just grateful that we’d been able to clear the air over Sasha and Katy. Mind you, I was still puzzled by Max’s comment about needing to sort our relationship out. Weren’t we good now? Couldn’t we just get back to the way things were before all of this had blown up?

  Mulling over that thought and with Digby shadowing my every move, I ventured over to the back door and opened it up, letting in the warm air. I peered outside into the beer garden, my mood lifting at the sight. The hanging baskets were growing more plentiful and colourful by the day and the climbing honeysuckle and clematis spread over the walls in a flush of delicate blooms. I walked outside and turned on the hose, giving the baskets and tubs a light drenching. Lifting my head to the sky, I savoured the sensation of the sun caressing my skin. We were so lucky to have this little oasis at the back of the pub. Enclosed by brick walls on each side, and with a wooden canopy covering the first part of the garden providing a sheltered area for when the weather turned bad, you could almost forget you were sitting outside when you were cocooned within the foliage and flowers of the blooming garden. Only today, I suspected there wouldn’t be much time for sitting outside and enjoying the sunshine.

  I heard the front door open and wandered back inside to find Gemma arriving for work.

  ‘Hello lovely, how are you?’

  ‘Good thanks, what do you want me to get started on?’

  Gemma had been such an asset to our team. She’d been quick to learn and enthusiastic, and very popular with the customers too.

  ‘Well, if you can just man the bars, that would be great. I’ve got to put in the order with the brewery, so I’ll be out the back, but just holler if you need an extra pair of hands.’

  On my way through I spotted my gift from Arthur sitting on top of the worktop, a reminder of that promise I'd made him. I quickly pulled out a saucepan from the cupboard, chopped up the rhubarb into chunks and tossed them into a saucepan with a little water and a sprinkling of sugar, ready for cooking.

  Then I sat myself down and went through the order for the brewery, put together a list of the food and drinks required for Stella’s upcoming christening and prepared another list to take to the cash and carry, feeling a sense of satisfaction at ticking off items on my to-do list. Then I pottered around the kitchen seeing to some long overdue jobs.

  ‘Sorry to disturb you, Ellie, but Max Golding is out in the bar, asking to see you.’ Gemma was standing in the doorway.

  What was Max doing here? I hadn’t expected to see him so soon after this morning’s heart-to-heart with Katy. I just hoped they hadn’t had another big bust-up. I glanced at my watch. The day had run away with me. Gemma had manned the bar single-handedly over the lunchtime period and would be off soon in time for the school run. I’d cover until Andy turned up in a short while.

  ‘Thanks, Gemma. I’ll come through and see him. You can get off it you want to.’

  Walking out into the bar, my gaze landed on Max, my heart immediately lifting at the sight of him. He stood in the snug, his arms spread wide resting on the top of the bar. Was it just me or did everyone else feel the same magnetic pull towards him? I felt sure they must. His tall, broad frame seemed to fill the bar, his dark eyes intelligent and compelling as usual, his mouth, such an eminently kissable mouth, set strong and inviting. It sent a frisson rippling down my backbone. Our eyes met and he acknowledged me with a smile.

  ‘Hi Max, everything okay?’

  ‘Fine, thanks. I’ve left Katy curled up on the sofa watching Netflix. I think the poor girl's exhausted.’

  ‘Hardly surprising.’ No worries on that front then. This was just a normal friendly visit. Or was it? ‘Did you want a pint of our special ale, it’s new in, it’s a hoppy beer with a sweet, fruity nose to it.’

  ‘Thanks, but I think a cup of tea would go down better actually. I thought we might have that chat, if this is a good time?’

  The pub had emptied out, so I could hardly say it was a bad time, even if I’d wanted to. ‘Sure, I’ll go and make us a drink. I’ll be back in a jiffy.’

  For some reason I was full of trepidation trying to imagine what Max might want to discuss. Distractedly, I mooched around the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil and then when it had and I'd made the tea I went and joined Max again, placing the drinks down on the table.

  Resting his chin in his hands, Max turned to look at me, his gaze scanning mine as though looking for some sort of answer to the most unfathomable question. The awkward silence made a reappearance making the snug bar seem much more snug and much more claustrophobic. Unable to bear the quiet anymore, I turned to him.

  ‘So, what was it you wanted to talk to me about then?’

  ‘Ah, yes well…’ He steepled his fingers and hesitated. Max's reticence made me nervous. What could he possibly want to say that was so difficult? ‘Look, let me ask you,’ he took hold of my hand, as though about to impart some very bad news, ‘are you happy? You know, really happy?’

  I had to stop and think about that for a moment. To define what that transient indefinable state meant to me. I loved living in the village, being amongst my family and friends, running the pub.

  ‘I mean happy in our relationship,’ said Max, as if following my thought process.

  ‘Oh… well…’ Where could this possibly be leading?

  ‘You know how much you mean to me, Ellie.’ Max’s gaze was imploring. ‘The way I feel about you I’ve never felt about anybody else before, but…’

  Oh god, there would just have to be a but, wouldn’t there? My heart pounded dramatically in my chest and a prickly heat rose up my neck. This was Max’s way of letting me down gently. Why hadn’t I seen it coming? This was all my fault. I'd been so uptight over Sasha these last few days that I’d pushed Max away. Like ripping off a plaster, it would be best just to get this over and done with as quickly as possible.

  ‘But what, Max?’

  ‘Well, I don’t know how you feel, Ellie, but for me, this… us… well, it’s just not working, the way things are.’

  ‘Oh.’ It was all I could say, as a searing pain ripped through me.

  ‘You must feel that way too? We rarely see each other. You’re tied up with the pub, I’ve been preoccupied with my business, I know, and now with Katy here, it’s almost as if we don’t have time for each other anymore.’

  ‘Right. I see. I’m sorry you feel like that.’ A tumble of emotions flooded my body. Yes, we were both busy and had commitments elsewhere, but until these last couple of weeks, I’d thought we’d been getting on fine. It was still early on in our relationship, but my feelings for Max grew stronger with each passing day. I thought he’d felt the same to
o, but obviously not. I stood up and walked over to the bar, trying to make sense of what Max was trying to tell me, but none of it was making any sense at all. I turned to look at him. ‘Is this about Sasha?’

  ‘What?’ He screwed up his face, perplexed. ‘No, of course it isn’t. I told you, Sasha’s just a friend who’s going through a rough patch at the moment. This has nothing to do with her. Why would you even say that?’

  Funny how we’d been getting on fabulously until Sasha turned up pregnant and looking for somewhere to live and now suddenly everything felt uncertain between us.

  ‘Well, I wondered if you might want to get back with her.’ Only actually realising the truth of that statement as I said the words aloud.

  ‘What?’ Now, it was Max’s turn to push the table aside and he threw his hands to the air. ‘I’ve told you, it’s not my baby, Ellie.’ He was doing well to keep a lid on his evident frustration, but it was bubbling beneath the surface just waiting to spill over.

  ‘I know, but you wouldn’t be the first man to step up to the plate and take on another man’s child. You said yourself you felt a responsibility to Sasha.’

  ‘Yes, but not in that way. Jesus Ellie. Why are we even talking about Sasha anyway? This is about you and me.’

  ‘Yes,’ I said, hearing the sadness in my own voice. ‘And I get what you’re saying. You think we should split.’

  ‘What?’

  I’d wandered over to the window, turning my back on Max, not wanting him to see my distress. I peered outside, only thankful we had no customers in. Soon, he was behind me, his warm breath in my ear, his hands on my waist. He spun me around, his face a whisker away from mine. So close I felt my skin tingle in anticipation. He pulled me even closer, clasping my face in his hands, my body relinquishing under the intensity of his gaze. He stepped back.

  ‘I don’t want us to split up. No way. That’s not what I’m saying. It’s not what you want, is it?’ he asked, concerned.

  ‘No! I just thought…’ My words trailed away, relief flooding my body.