He lowered his sword, touching both of my shoulders.
“Please rise.”
The Healer had instructed me in my response. “This day Eshshah of the Royal line of Dragons and I, Amáne, daughter of Catriona of Teravinea, as linked pair do render homage and fealty to you, Lord Ansel, son of King Emeric of the Royal House of Drekinn. We will remain true in all ways, serving faithfully. This we do swear by our lives and by our honor.” My voice cracked with emotion as my eyes filled. I heard throat clearing and sniffing from some of the other riders as they, no doubt, remembered their swearing in.
“I accept your homage and fealty,” Lord Ansel responded, “and I pledge to you that from this day forward I will honor and defend your rights as dragon and rider. Turn now and greet your Peers.”
I met his eyes briefly and thought I saw a combination of pride, hurt and sorrow, which mirrored mine. I turned to face my fellow dragon riders. As one they stood up, saluted, clapped, whistled and shouted. Their praises welcomed me into their exclusive band of brotherhood. I smiled and nodded my appreciation for their unexpected warmth as a few tears escaped. I made my way back to my seat. The Healer hugged me and whispered her emotional congratulations in my ear.
The tragedy was that this should have been a happy moment shared with Lord Ansel. Instead, it was tense. I lacked the focus I should have had at such a momentous ceremony. It was only with Eshshah’s help that I didn’t break down right there.
Lord Ansel strode purposefully to his chair and restored order immediately upon taking his seat.
The Council then moved forward as each rider briefed him on the situations in their individual townships or cities. He and the Healer were well informed of the state of affairs in each locality, since they kept regular contact through the communication discs. But discussing the circumstances as a group brought out more detailed examinations and solutions to any problems they brought to the table.
I watched with admiration as Lord Ansel conducted the Dragon Rider’s Council, speaking with leadership and full knowledge of their individual issues and their progress in seeking allies for our cause. He wasn’t overbearing or condescending, but in full command of each rider’s respect as they stood and gave their deliveries in turn. Many of these men were well over one-hundred years old. They had served under King Emeric and even King Rikkar, Lord Ansel’s grandfather, yet they showed him the respect that I’m sure they had shown for his ancestors.
How could Lord Ansel have stooped so low as to show any interest in me? The whispers of those in Dorsal at the Life Celebration echoed in my head. They were right. I didn’t deserve anyone of his station. I was too blind to even realize the fact that he brought himself down to my level. What a humbling sacrifice that had to have been. I shuddered when I remembered how I had assigned him the duty of slicing potatoes when we stayed at the Dorsal Outpost — and that I found it quite funny at the time. It sickened me to recall it, now.
I had pushed him away and treated him like a commoner all because of my selfishness to go on a great quest. It was all about me. I made up my own rules and he graciously went along with them, all the while waiting for me to follow my heart. Lord Ansel saw it from the start — the bond between us. He was willing to accept me no matter my station. He truly did love me and sacrificed even his love to give in to my obstinacy. What made this truth harder to bear was that I still felt the heat from our last kiss.
My mind reeled at the thought that I had lost my chance of winning back Lord Ansel’s attentions. It made me sicker still when I thought of what had caused me to lose him — my temper; my stubbornness; my cruelty.
Suddenly, I was drawn back into the council room by the complete silence that surrounded me, and a nudge from the Healer, as well as a prompt from Eshshah. I found I’d been staring at Lord Ansel. I don’t know for how long. In looking about, I saw every eye was on me.
Fear gripped me as the Healer whispered out of the corner of her mouth, “Amáne, stand up and answer him.”
Somehow I managed to pull myself to my feet. The blood rose in my face and with my eyes wide, I sputtered, “Uh ... er ... I ...”
“Do you need me to repeat my question, Rider?” Lord Ansel spoke sternly, yet with patience, as if he spoke to a young school girl.
“Yes, please, Lord Ansel.”
“Were you not following any of our discussion?” He had it right once again.
Embarrassed, I was nevertheless thankful that anger didn’t control me at that moment, though I did feel its heat.
Trying to find my voice, I whispered, “I’m sorry, Lord Ansel. I ... I must have gotten distracted.”
“We were discussing the next order of business,” he began in an even tone — again, as if I were an errant student. “Which is procuring a dragon egg from the hatching chamber at Castle Teravinea. The Healer has made it clear that a key element in our goal to overthrow Galtero is to determine how his magicians and sorcerers have controlled the dragons in their eggs.
“There are but a few eggs in the hatching chamber which are of the Royal Dragon Line — Eshshah’s lineage. Galtero can’t allow that line of dragons to hatch as they will have no loyalty to him. Only a dragon of that line can determine which are the Royal Eggs. Since even he can’t bring himself to destroy them, of which we are thankful, keeping them from hatching is his only form of security — ensuring that he cannot be overthrown by dragon riders.
“My question to you — since I was informed that you have a plan that I must listen to before making my judgement — are you prepared to lead the discussion and convince the Council of the success of your plan?”
My first inclination was to run out of the room and be sick. I felt a cold sweat as the contents of my stomach threatened to rise. He’s asking me to reveal the details of our plan? Bern, Dorjan, Gallen and the Healer were all part of it. Why me? Was he punishing me? Of course it would be less than what I deserved, but I wasn’t prepared to be the one to lead the discussion. However, I would never concede to that fact.
I felt like I was back in class again with the teacher asking me to stand up in front of my classmates and sing a ballad. I used to close my eyes and pretend I was the only one in the room. But, this was not school. These were not my classmates, but seasoned, hardened dragon riders who had seen more than I could even imagine. Lord Ansel was not my teacher, but my future king.
I swallowed hard and inhaled. I am Amáne, sworn dragon rider of Eshshah, I said to myself. I knew Lord Ansel was purposely not making this easy for me. It had always been my habit to react by lashing out in anger. But I was no longer that girl. I just recently learned the hardest lesson in my life. Outside of losing my mother, I had just experienced a most devastating loss — that of my best friend.
Pulling my shoulders back, I drew myself to my full height — no matter that my height was insignificant. I lifted my chin, looked straight into Lord Ansel’s eyes, and in a firm voice, “Yes, Your Grace. I am prepared.”
I could see an eyebrow raise ever so slightly at my unexpected change in attitude, His eyes softened for just an instant. He nodded for me to continue.
“Thank you, Your Grace.”
Turning to the riders around the table, I didn’t waste any words. “Your Grace, my fellow riders — I have been working with the Healer, Gallen, Dorjan, and Bern, and we have a plan. We have no doubt as to its success. I’ll get straight to the point — I will be walking openly through the front gates of Castle Teravinea.”
The room hummed as the riders voiced their shock and disbelief. Lord Ansel gave a small jerk of his head. I was not deterred, but motioned a request for the riders’ silence to let me continue.
“As you already know, Galtero has kept our tradition of the Hatching Gathering. We also know it is but a ruse. Besides Eshshah’s, there hasn’t been a hatching in thirty years,” I looked pointedly at Avano, as he was the last linked before Eshshah and me. “We’ve decided to use this to our advantage. Due to the lack of any activity in the hatching chamber, there’s bee
n a great decline in attendance, both prospective riders and spectators. The Hatching Gathering brings only a few curious onlookers, and a shameful amount of prospects. It’s only six weeks away and the lack of interest will aid in my being accepted as a rider candidate.”
This time, there was more than a hum throughout the room. I heard mumbling and some outright laughs. Eben, formerly Haldis, rider of the late Salama, spoke out, “Amáne, perhaps you’re not aware, and the others may have forgotten, that Galtero has decreed that only males need apply as candidates.”
“No, Eben, we haven’t forgotten. I plan on applying as a male.”
This time the room resonated as the riders expressed their disbelief. Again, Eben voiced his opinion, “No offense intended, Amáne.” He tried to hide his amusement “But we all saw your grand entrance at the ball.” He looked around the table as most of the men nodded or added to Eben’s observations. “And many of us had the pleasure of dancing with you. We may be old, but our eyesight is as sharp as the day we woke from our dragon fever. You are the furthest example of a male that any of us have seen in quite a while. You’d no sooner pass for a candidate than Eshshah could pass for a kitten.”
Laughter echoed in the room as the blush rose in my face. Eshshah even uttered her rumbling laugh, and mimicked a meow. I couldn’t suppress my smile.
I inhaled slowly, and with control that surprised me, I responded, “Thank you for the compliment, Eben ...” I never thought I would ever be able to thank a man for a compliment. A hint of surprise showed in Lord Ansel’s eyes. “... but contrary to what you might think, I can, and have successfully disguised myself as a male. There are several in this room who can attest to my success.”
I threw a quick glance at Lord Ansel who suddenly found something of interest in the palm of his hand.
Gallen then came to my assistance. “Eben, you certainly have a point. If I had only just met Amáne, I would agree with you. But I can affirm the fact that she does have the skills necessary to successfully pass herself off as a male. I have no doubts that she could apply as a candidate, be accepted and enter the hatching grounds.”
Another murmur around the room as the riders digested this information.
Once I regained their attention, I described our plan in more detail. How, with Eshshah’s help in open thought transference, I would choose the egg. Then how I planned to escape through the tunnels and corridors under the castle that I was already familiar with. I went on to cover how I would meet up with Eshshah at the Castle Outpost, like the last time. Bern would wait there with Eshshah, staying in contact with me through her and keeping the Healer and Lord Ansel apprised of our progress. We would then leave together. Eshshah and I would drop Bern off at Anbon and then continue back to Dorsal with the egg.
“In conclusion, Lord Ansel, riders, this is a well-thought-out plan that promises to be successful. I ask that you consider this quest to be the necessary next step in the mission to secure the throne ... I ask, Lord Ansel, for your blessing upon this endeavor.” His eyes remained averted.
With that I sat down and looked again at Lord Ansel, who still didn’t meet my gaze. The riders began discussing and questioning elements of the plan. The Healer, Gallen, Dorjan and Bern became active in the conversation as ideas and suggestions were offered. Finally, an approving tone echoed around the table. An excitement was felt in the air as the riders recognized our forward progress in the mission to take the throne from Galtero and raise Lord Ansel to his rightful position. It had been too long since this group had any hope in achieving their goal. At this moment, Eshshah and I were their hope. I felt their enthusiasm as it lit up the room.
At last the conversation died down, everyone had given their opinions — mostly positive. Now we drew our attention to Lord Ansel who had the final say in the matter. He sat straight and stiff in his chair, eyebrows nearly touching as he stared at his father’s ring on his finger. The same ring I had brought him as proof that I was sent by his aunt, to rescue him from his chains in the castle dungeon.
There was not a sound in the room. If a feather had fallen, we could have heard it hit the ground. Still Lord Ansel did not move. My heart ached at the pain in his face as he struggled to make his decision — his final ruling still bathed in doubt.
The more time that went by, the more my disappointment rose in my chest. I tried to keep a calm empty face as my shoulders started to sink. How could I have thought he truly would approve my quest? He did promise me, didn’t he? I had never known him to go back on a promise. But when I thought of the circumstances in which he gave that promise, I knew that I couldn’t bind him to it. There was no doubt that I had coerced him into saying what he said. His words, spoken only a short time ago, ‘Okay, you win. This round is all yours. I’ll consent to your quest! I promise. As you wish,’ echoed in my mind. His pain. My cruelty.
I didn’t deserve the honor of serving him. On my own, I considered myself as nothing. My linking to Eshshah was the only justification of my worthiness.
At last Lord Ansel took a deep breath and all eyes turned to him.
Speaking low and deliberate, “The plan is certainly one which sounds solid ... in theory. I have no doubts as to the skills and talents of this rider to pull off the disguise.” Does he loathe me so much that he can’t even say my name? My hand went to my chest as if I could stop the bleeding of my heart with that one motion.
“— However, she has just barely begun to understand and get a taste of what the world can do ... how bad it truly can be. She has bravely volunteered and even pleaded for this dangerous task, unmindful of the possible consequences. It is ultimately my decision what I can ask of you riders — the sacrifices I can bear to accept from you.” He scanned the riders around the table. “I know it is my duty as a leader to make decisions for the good of the kingdom. But can I, with clear conscience, send her into peril ... again?”
Resolving that I would have to endure the inevitable denial of our quest at this time, I silently appealed to Eshshah for help.
“I’m with you Amáne,” she said.
I needed her strength to be able to accept the decision that we won’t be going to the Hatching Gathering. Perhaps Lord Ansel had seen the change in me — that I had taken a turn for the better in my self control. He would be correct. I can and will control my anger. I reminded myself to breathe in and out. My eyes locked on my hands. I held back any thought of tears. He had promised. But again, it was a promise that I knew he couldn’t keep. I won’t fault him for that. I pressed my lips together and held my breath.
“The answer to that is no — I cannot with a clear conscience send this rider into such danger. I will never get used to asking any of you such sacrifice, even though it be my duty.”
His eyes swept the room again, slowly meeting each rider. He met mine for a brief instant and I barely suppressed a gasp as I saw the agony in his eyes.
He continued, “I’m fully aware of the importance of the timing of this quest. Because of our discussion and your positive support of its success ... I ... reluctantly ... will allow it.” His voice trailed off at the end, barely audible.
Forgetting that I’d been holding my breath, I let it out instantly. I had prepared myself for a denial. I didn’t know how to respond to his approval. My eyebrows raised in disbelief.
His saddened eyes rested on me. He proceeded in a formal manner. “Eshshah and Amáne, as dragon and rider, linked pair, do you accept the honor and privilege,” he swallowed hard. I was afraid he would not be able to finish, but he cleared his throat and continued, “... of accepting a quest that will put you into extreme danger ... for the good of the Kingdom of Teravinea?”
I stood up and met his eyes. Along with Eshshah, I said softly, “We do, your Grace.” On my own, I added, “Thank you. I promise you won’t regret your decision.”
“I already have,” he said under his breath. Then, as if he had been reading my mind the last few minutes, his eyes bore into mine, and he said in a low voice on
ly for me, “I keep my promises, Amáne.”
With that he stood up, saluted, turned abruptly and exited the room by the same door he’d entered. The riders jumped from their seats and executed a hurried salute to his back. I didn’t rise, but sat in shock. His decision, his defeated demeanor reeled in my head until it hurt.
This is what I had wanted; what I had begged for; what I had given up everything for. Why then was I not celebrating with the other riders as they came to congratulate me? Clapping me on the back, shaking my hand. I forced a smile, but felt empty. I’d been trying to prepare myself all along for the fact that I may have to forfeit Lord Ansel’s and my relationship — that I was willing to sacrifice even that for the kingdom. I had no idea how unbearable that sacrifice would be.
I endured the conversations and laughter as the riders mingled. I wanted to escape to my chambers and be alone in my confusion of misery. But it would not have been proper to leave at this time. Everyone celebrated a positive direction in their ultimate goal. I had to remain strong as exhaustion and depression swirled around me in a dark mass.
The Healer drew her attention to me. Concern showed on her face. She glanced at my hand that held the back of the chair in front of me — knuckles white from gripping so I could stay upright. She nudged Gallen and motioned to him with a nod in my direction. The two of them came up on either side and took my elbows. The Healer excused the three of us, and led me out of the room.
We arrived at my chambers and Gallen left me with the Healer. No doubt he felt I needed the company of a female.
“Healer, please give me a few minutes by myself, and then I need to leave. I can’t stay in this place any longer. Please. Eshshah and I will wait at the Arevale Outpost for dark before we ride to the Dorsal Outpost.”
“As you wish, Amáne,” she said with a sad, far-away look in her eyes. “The pain you’re feeling can only partially heal with time. Sometime soon you must examine your feelings. Trust me. I know. I just hope it won’t take you as long as it took me.”
Amáne of Teravinea - The Prophecy (The Teravinea Series Book 2) Page 14