Killer Carat Cream

by Patrice Lyle

  I brightened. A to-die-for shopping trip would be enough to make me stay behind too. "I've always wanted to go to Hong Kong. I hear the shopping's fab."

  Loretta's fingers grazed a thick, multi-strand pearl necklace. "I got this in Hong Kong last month for half of what it's worth."

  I was a die-hard bling girl, but the opulent pearls were pretty. "It's beautiful. And who doesn't love a deal?"

  "Hong Kong's got deals on everything a girl could need."

  "That's awesome." My cell phone vibrated in my pocket, so I retrieved it. Tattoo Tex had sent a message that had actually come through. Yes! "I need to get this," I said to Loretta.

  Then I turned and gazed at my phone.

  The ferry's pulling into the island so I'm almost thar. I've got two surprises for you. See you soon. Love u.

  Ooh! I wondered what Tattoo Tex was bringing me? I typed a quick, Thanks, Tex. Can't wait to see you! I hit send, but nothing happened. No bars this time. Ugh. I scurried into the hallway until I found a place with three bars. I hit send, and the message transmitted.

  Then a wave of panic hit me. Hopefully the surprise wasn't another cowboy hat.

  I loved Jock Cowboy enough to release my former anti-Western sentiments, but ten-gallon hats didn't make my inner girl squeal like sequins did. His cowboy hat looked good on him (what didn't look good on him?), but when he'd presented me with a pink rhinestone-studded cowgirl hat, I had a brief what the cocoa-schnitzel am I doing? moment.

  But the love in his smile and kiss spurred me toward the only thing to do.

  Don the hat and kiss him back.

  Luckily he'd agreed—somewhat begrudgingly—that the cowgirl hat wasn't appropriate for tonight's event. I typed back, You know I love a surprise! Xoxo

  He was also bringing a bottle of Outfrizz serum that I hadn't had time to buy and my new shoes that Aunt Alfa had ordered for me. She'd insisted on paying for them, which I'd tried to refuse without any success. But I could hardly wait to see the pink sequined sandals that had made me drool on my favorite shoe site.

  I walked back into the conference room and saw Dr. J enter through the balcony.

  "The ferry arrived, so my camera crew's here," Dr. J announced, looking my way. "We can get started now."

  Nice of her to let me know, but in light of the attempted geriatric ninja attack, I put on my best face.

  "Great." I slipped my phone in my pocket and flashed her a smile. "How are you doing?"

  Dr. J rolled her eyes. "Just make sure you get your aunt to reenact the scene if the camera crew wants to."

  As much as it pained me, I simply nodded. Hopefully the reenactment would be forgotten after the Carat Cream demonstration. Oh, that sparked a question.

  "How do you want to handle the Carat Cream demo?" I asked her. "Do you want me to apply it to your face?"

  "No thanks." Dr. J's tone was icy. "Dirty hands can cause pimples, so I'll apply the exfoliating cream myself."

  Little did she know I washed several times a day with an anti-bacterial, essential oil lemon hand wash, but I forced a half-smile. "Works for me."

  Dr. J pointed at the vanity. "I'll go prep, so we can roll the cameras. CSN's predicting my reality show will be a smashing success because everyone loves me."

  Oh, for the love of dark chocolate biscotti.

  I stifled a smirk, but luckily I didn't have to respond because two men toting large cameras and lights shuffled into the room followed by a guy carrying a sound boom. Dr. J was in her glory as they arranged her lighting and fluffed her hair.

  "Hey thar. Know where I can find a sparkly doc?"

  The familiar sexy voice sent shivers of delight all the way down to my hot pink painted and bejeweled toenails.

  I turned to see my version of male perfection. Tattoo Tex's dark hair and chiseled body made me want to bag the stupid Carat Cream party so the real fun could begin. He wore his signature jeans, black cowboy hat, tennis shoes, and black wet-dry running shirt.

  Hello, Luscious Man.

  Jock Cowboy enveloped me in a hug. "Good to see you, Doc."

  I melted into him. After everything that had occurred being in his arms was a comfort. It had only been a week since I'd seen him (hopefully he was moving to Maryland from Texas soon), but those seven days suddenly felt like forever.

  "So glad you're here." My words were muffled against his solid chest.

  He kissed the top of my head. Then he lifted my chin and pressed his lips against mine. His kiss was more decadent than dark chocolate, nondairy ice cream with cashew whipped topping.

  If I could bottle up his hotness and sell it to women around the world, I'd be set for life.

  He gave me a quick squeeze before pulling back. "I missed you too. You want your surprises now?"

  I glanced at Dr. J. She was seated at the vanity and had slipped on a soft headband to pull her hair away from her face. "Maybe we should wait. Dr. J looks like she's ready to do the demo."

  He turned in the direction I was looking. "Is that the famous TV doc?"

  "Yep, that's her." Then I lowered my voice. "I'll tell you about her later. She's an interesting character."

  He laughed. "More interesting than Aunt Alfa?"

  "Hey, Tex. You call for me?"

  I turned to see Aunt Alfa at Tex's side appearing chipper. "Is everyone inside now?" I asked. "We're about to get started."

  "You missed the big brouhaha, Tex, and the naked surfer doing cartwheels," Aunt Alfa said. "Both events were impressive."

  Tattoo Tex tipped his hat. "Brouhaha and what, ma'am?"

  I touched Tex's arm. "I'll tell you later."

  "Don't worry about the naked surfer," Aunt Alfa said. "I got it on video so the four of us can watch it later."

  I blinked. "I don't want Brownie seeing that."

  "I'll cover his eyes." Aunt Alfa elbowed Tex and pointed at his feet. "Why'd you bring that down comforter? It looks comfy, but the hotel has nice bedding."

  Ooh la la. My cheeks heated. I knew exactly why he'd brought the 600-count down comforter with him. We'd had the most amazing night of our lives under it recently.

  Tex bit his lip and looked at me. Then he said, "Uh, I brought it along in case Brownie needed something cushy."

  "That was real nice of you, Tex. I'll make sure he gets it." She picked the plastic-encased-best-night-of-my-life bedding and carried it to the corner of the conference room.

  "You know why I really brought the comforter, right, Doc?"

  Oh, yes. "As much as I love Brownie, there's no way he's getting that. Besides, he loves his Batman cushion."

  Tattoo Tex laughed and picked up his bags. "I'll stow my stuff by the comforter thar, and you can see the other surprise later."

  "Perfect. Let's get this party started in the meantime." I headed toward Dr. J and confirmed she was ready.

  One of the camera guys zoomed in on Dr. J, and she threw him a pinched-face glare.

  "That's not my best angle, and you know it." She shifted on her seat and lifted her chin. "I look better from the right side because of the way my hair's wrapped."

  The camera guy pressed his lips together but followed orders.

  "And you're late." Dr. J shot him another terse look. "You guys can't be on time for anything."

  The camera guy made a face. "Dr. J, we can't control the ferry."

  "Whatever. Enough of this nonsense." She crossed her legs and smiled into the lens and said, "Lights, camera, action."

  That was my cue. The happy party chatter quieted as I stepped next to the vanity and turned to address the small crowd. They watched the star of the show—not moi—intently. Especially Winnie. Her shiny pink lips were pressed into a grim line, and her brow furrowed as she stared at Dr. J. The poor girl was probably worried she'd get reamed out for something else.

  I pushed away all non-Carat Cream thoughts to the back of my mind and launched into my introduction.

  "Thank you for joining us for the celebration of Sparkle O's new Carat Cream. This
is the most amazing exfoliating cream in the universe because of its diamond dust." I picked up the bejeweled J jar and proudly showed it off. "Diamonds blast off more layers than dynamite!"

  I paused to allow the cute marketing slogan to sink in. No one looked smitten, however, except for Xavier. Dr. J rolled her eyes.

  Whatever.

  "In addition to its amazing exfoliating properties," I continued in my best sales voice, "Carat Cream is chock full of anti-aging power. What makes Carat Cream a one-of-a-kind product is its base of DMSO, a formulation that allows the anti-aging ingredients to carry right through the skin and into the bloodstream."

  Dr. J grabbed the jar from me. "All right, let's see if this type of diamond is a girl's best friend. I've used many an exfoliator in my day."

  The film guys angled in on Dr. J as she opened the jar and smeared the cream on her face. She rubbed it in slowly, making big sweeping circular strokes across her cheeks. She leaned in toward the mirror and gazed at herself.

  "I, Dr. J, famous and caring doctor," she said, arching her eyebrows and flashing herself a grin, "am trying this new Carat Cream to see if it's everything it's claimed to be, or if it's just another skincare hoax."

  I stiffened. Sparkle O would never make a bogus product!

  Dr. J dipped her fingers into the jar again and applied another huge dollop onto her face. She rubbed it in purposefully.

  "What does the Carat cream smell like?" Cassidy Ambrose, Sparkle O's newly hired model who'd arrived late, leaned her six-foot self toward Dr. J's vanity.

  "It smells rather blah actually," Dr. J replied. "Not that it's any of your business."

  Oh, please. I thought its lemon scent was invigorating.

  "Do you feel layers of dead skin cells being blasted off?" Xavier asked.

  Dr. J shivered and shook her head. "Not really…I…feel…"

  And then Dr. J's head tilted down, and she fell off the stool. She tumbled onto the floor and writhed like a snake while the camera guys kept filming. They even got a close-up!

  Holy chocolate babka!

  Then everything happened so fast, like a racecar on overdrive. Dr. Sylvia kneeled beside Dr. J and took her pulse.

  "She's fading fast." Dr. Sylvia looked at me. "Is there a defibrillator in here?"

  "I have no idea, but I'll call 9-1-1."

  The British guy I'd seen in the hallway crouched beside Dr. J. He placed his fingers on her neck for a moment and shook his head. Then he stared at me. "We only need a body bag." The British accent in his voice was politician-like stoic. "She's dead."

  "Dr. J's dead?" Dr. Sylvia's voice cracked as she looked right into the camera lens and swiped what I imagined was a tear from her face.

  But I didn't see one. My chest tightened. The Wartnie comment was cruel as was Dr. J's behavior toward others, but no one deserved to die on public display.

  Aunt Alfa joined me near the vanity and elbowed me. "I think that pig-hating ho bag deserved to be creamed. And Dr. J was right when she said it looked like a mortuary in here."

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Another Poisoning?

  Minutes later, the room was flooded with hotel security and every member of the Annabelle Island PD.

  All three of them.

  Two policemen, who reminded me of the original Hardy Boys with their bright faces and short brown hair, loitered near the body. Their boss was older. Detective Marcus Franks appeared to be in his fifties and looked like a balding pit bull. He waved the camera crew away from Dr. J's dead body with his meaty mitt.

  "Turn those things off before I bust 'em up." Detective Franks glared at the film guys as they got one last shot before hoisting the cameras onto their shoulders.

  A gangly dude with an even ganglier ponytail looked too excited given the circumstances. "CSN could do a death special with this footage," he whispered to his friend.

  "Plus we could sell the dead body shots to a tabloid," his scruffy friend replied discreetly.

  "If I were you, I'd contact the National News Hounds. They love pictures of stiffs." Aunt Alfa's voice boomed through the room as she tapped the screen of her cell phone. "I've got their website saved in my favorites, so I can get you their info."

  "Quiet down, all of you." Detective Franks shot an annoyed look our way. "I need to talk to everyone in here. No one leaves until you've been interviewed."

  A cell phone rang, and one of the Hardy Boys look-alikes answered. He nodded and said, "Sure thing. I'll let him know." He hung up and looked at the detective. "Ferry's shut down till this time tomorrow."

  Detective Franks smiled. "Good. Now we have twenty-four hours to wrap up this crime scene."

  "Crime scene?" I was certain my PI flash cards would say it was way too early to make that call.

  "Until the cause of death has been determined, I'm treating this as a crime scene," Detective Franks replied.

  Hmm. I guess that makes sense.

  "You mean it could have been murder, love?" Xavier's eyes sparkled too much given the circumstances.

  "Murder happens all the time, and something stinks with this one." Detective Franks pointed at the deceased. "Look at the stuff on her face. Witnesses say she was in the middle of a demonstration. My gut tells me this woman was killed by poisoned face cream. We'll send it to the lab to be sure."

  If that were true, and that was a big if, that would mean someone had tampered with the bejeweled Carat Cream jar. I glanced at the party guests and wondered who hated Dr. J enough to want to do her in? Winnie and Xavier, possibly. The camera crew? Then I stopped myself.

  You're not a PI. The Killer Kung Pao investigation was an isolated event.

  "Couldn't she have had a heart attack?" Dr. Sylvia posed the question in a clinical tone. "I recall her mentioning a family heart history."

  "And I recall you," Aunt Alfa said, pointing at Dr. Sylvia, "belting out the news about the naked surfer, which cleared the room."

  Dr. Sylvia pointed at Aunt Alfa. "And I recall you karate chopping Dr. J."

  Detective Franks grabbed his notepad and pointed to my auntie. "Repeat that please, ma'am."

  Aunt Alfa hustled over and recounted the naked surfer tale. The detective took frantic notes until Aunt Alfa launched into a vivid description of the surfer's jewels.

  Aunt Alfa pulled her hands apart about a foot. "We're not talking an Oscar Meyer wiener here, Detective. We're talking a county fair kielbasa."

  Oh, for the love of chocolate mousse.

  I joined my auntie and put my arm around her. "Sorry, Detective. She's got an eye for detail."

  "You're not kidding." He snapped his notebook shut and motioned for Dr. Sylvia. "If you'll all wait patiently, we'll start the interviews."

  That was our sign to move. We joined Tattoo Tex as Dr. Sylvia told her account of the brouhaha to the detective. He cast a cold gaze toward my auntie, and a gnawing sense of unease crept through me. If Dr. J was murdered then Aunt Alfa's scuffle with the deceased could put her in a bad light.

  Hopefully natural causes had taken Dr. J's life.

  A few minutes later, the Annabelle Island medical examiner arrived. She wore black pants, and her light brown hair was pulled into a loose ponytail. She conferred with Detective Franks while we huddled in the corner.

  "Put a rush on this one," Detective Franks said. "I need to know if we're dealing with a homicide."

  "Certainly," she replied. "I'll let you know ASAP."

  The medical examiner crouched beside Dr. J's body and examined her. My arm hairs rose as it hit me like a crate of bling dung kickers. A woman died at my party. Stop it, I told myself. You need to turn a calorie consumed into a calorie burned. Hmm. How could I do that? Then I realized something rather selfish.

  Now that the Carat Cream event was over, I could take all the chocolate home with me.

  "Hey, Pipe." Aunt Alfa tapped my shoulder and cast a narrow-eyed look at Dr. Sylvia. "That naked surfer certainly created a diversion."

  "True, but let's not jump to conclu
sions," I said. "The police are here, so they'll figure it out."

  At least Aunt Alfa wasn't a suspect this time. At least not yet anyway.

  The Englishman who had pronounced Dr. J dead approached us and shot a used-car-salesman grin at Aunt Alfa. "I couldn't help but notice how lovely you look in teal. The color makes your brown eyes shine like new pennies."

  What an odd thing to say with a dead body in our midst.

  I gazed at Tattoo Tex, whose face was scrunched in confusion. Aunt Alfa's face, however, was lit up like a new set of vanity bulbs.

  "Teal's my favorite color. It goes with anything." She angled her burgundy patent-leather platform Mary Janes for his view. "See?"

  "Those are hot." He gulped, and his lips stretched into a pervy grin. "You look great for a woman your age. You really take care of yourself."

  "I love your accent." Her eyes sparkled as she set her tiny hand on the man's wrist. "Say, are you staying at the Annabelle Inn tonight?"

  "Aunt Alfa!" I tugged her away from the creepy man. I stopped near the window, and Tattoo Tex joined us.

  "What'd you do that for, Pipe? That was the youngest guy to talk me up in ages."

  I lifted my palms. "Sorry, but I was getting pervy guy vibes from him."

  "Me too," Aunt Alfa said. "That's what was so exciting."

  "Aunt Alfa!"

  "Pipe, you're too prudish sometimes."

  Tattoo Tex smirked, shook his head, and mouthed the words, 600-count down comforter.

  I blushed.

  "All right, everyone," Detective Franks barked. "Time for interviews."

  He instructed the Hardy Boys to take Pervy British Guy and Winnie to the adjoining room for questioning.

  "I reckon the interviews won't take long."

  I turned toward Tattoo Tex. "Why do you say that?"

  Tattoo Tex's jawline tensed as he adjusted his cowboy hat. "Everything happened so fast. This is nothing like the other murder we were at."

  Detective Franks whirled around. "What other murder?"

  Holy chocolate babka!

  "It was nothing." Why couldn't the detective have been distracted?