It Had to Be Him

by Tamra Baumann

  If Haley hadn’t been walking beside him, he would have suggested all the fun ways he’d like to help her out of that dress. “Too bad for me. And why wasn’t that door locked, Meg?”

  “City boy.” She rolled her eyes as she tucked the bottle of wine beneath his arm. “Haley will show you where the kitchen is. Be right back.”

  Haley smiled and led the way. The kitchen was about as vintage as Zeke’s shop. Formica counters, avocado-green appliances, and peeling vinyl on the floor, plus an old wooden table in the corner filled with crayons and paper.

  Hopefully the appliances still worked.

  Haley laid her cookies on the table, then climbed onto a chair. “I’m gonna draw you a picture.”

  “That’d be great. Thanks.”

  He dug through the drawers, finally finding a corkscrew to open the wine so it could breathe. Then he started the sauce. It wouldn’t be able to simmer as long as he’d like, but it was better than opening a jar and dumping it on top of noodles.

  A light tap on his leg made him look down into a set of big brown eyes. “Now we have to put it on the fridge.” Haley thrust the paper she’d been working on toward him.

  “Wow. This is fantastic.” He wasn’t entirely sure what he was looking at.

  He found a magnet shaped like an ear of corn with “Iowa” scrolled on the bottom, and attached the picture to the green refrigerator at Haley’s eye level. Then he knelt beside her. “So, tell me about that.” He pointed to the biggest of the three blobs.

  Haley slipped her little arm around his neck and snuggled up to his side. “That’s you. See? Yellow hair. Like me!” She pointed to the other blobs. “I’m the little one and Mommy is this one. A family.”

  A family.

  Emotion clawed its way up his throat. That she’d accepted him so easily and drew him in the picture sent a pang to his chest.

  He whispered, “Thank you, Haley. That’s the best picture of a family I’ve ever seen.”

  Megan joined them again, wearing jeans, a tight T-shirt, and no shoes, and looking just as hot as she did in the dress. She plopped down beside them and laid a kiss on top of Haley’s head. “Good job, sweetheart.” Meg smiled at him. “Haley likes that you both have blond hair. All the Andersons are brunettes. She wanted to ‘match’ someone. She’s very big on matching right now.”

  “Knucks for yellow hair, right, Haley?” He held out his fist for a bump.

  Haley fist-bumped him and then ran back to the table. “I’m gonna make you another picture of us!”

  “Can’t wait to see it.” He stood and held out his hand to help Meg up.

  She glanced at his hand, but hesitated. Meg hated to appear weak or to need help. She finally relented and placed her hand in his.

  She asked, “So, how was your day?”

  He pulled her to her feet. “Zeke offered me a job. I didn’t realize how much mechanical work there was to be had in such a small town.” He poured out two glasses of wine and handed her one. “He even let me take his prized chopper out for a spin after I did some maintenance. I had fun today. It’s just a bonus he’s paying me.”

  “So, you’re working for Zeke now?” Meg blinked at him. “And you know how to fly a helicopter too? Seriously. How is it that we didn’t know that about each other?” She hopped up on the counter next to the stove.

  “I didn’t know that about you because you never talked about living here or about your family much. I got my license recently so you wouldn’t have known that about me.” That was mostly true. He’d gotten a license under his real name right before he’d left the FBI. He’d been dying to take Zeke’s chopper up and saw it as an opportunity to stop lying to her about one more thing.

  He took a pull from his wineglass and then started on the salad. When he glanced at Meg she was frowning into her glass. “What?”

  She laid her glass beside her on the counter without taking a sip. “Speaking of not knowing things about each other, why didn’t you ever introduce me to any of your friends or people you worked with?”

  Because he was undercover, in the middle of an investigation. They all knew him as Sam Coulter.

  He forced his shoulders to remain relaxed and smiled as he worked on the salad. He’d tell her the truth. But not all of it. “Just when I’d make friends as a kid, they’d get adopted, or transferred somewhere else, so I’ve never been the type to need many. And you know how much I was working back then. I sort of drifted apart from the few friends I had. But the last thing I wanted to do was spend what little free time we had with my co-workers. I spent way too much time with them as it was.”

  “So it wasn’t because you were embarrassed by me . . . or something?”

  “No! I just preferred you to myself.” He lifted a crouton to her lips. When she opened her mouth, he popped it in. “What brought all this on?”

  She waved a hand. “Just something Ryan said. Never mind.”

  The suspicious sheriff who clearly didn’t trust him. The FBI had doctored Sam Coulter’s data, but no one except Megan and his handler knew Josh’s real name. He’d have to ask Watts about that.

  But first he needed to wipe the worried frown off Megan’s face.

  He moved between her legs and leaned close. “Congratulations on your loan. I’m happy for you.” He laid his mouth on hers, taking his time, savoring her soft lips, teasing and nibbling until she moaned.

  He leaned back and whispered, “That was nice, but I want more. I want what you promised me the other night in the bar.”

  Her eyes tilted Haley’s way before she whispered, “I had too much to drink that night, so no fair holding me to any promises I might have made. And the jury’s still out on whether I’m going to sleep with you.”

  He pulled her into a tight hug so she couldn’t belt him. “I’m glad you’re considering sleeping with me, but I was talking about your promise to hand over your old car. I need a part from it for another job. Then we’ll shoot it up for fun.”

  “Why didn’t you just say that? You are the sneakiest son of a—” He cut her off with another deep kiss.

  Her whole body melted into his. If not for Haley, he would have thrown Meg over his shoulder and taken her to bed. Instead, he had to settle for ending their kiss and staring into her pretty blue eyes.

  She stared right back. “I hate when you do that. Kiss me stupid, then trick me into saying stuff. But you’d never lie to me, would you, Josh? It’s the one thing I can’t abide.”

  He held her steady, searching gaze, hating the FBI, and himself even more, for every single lie he’d ever told her. “I’d rather cut my heart out than lie to you, Meg.”

  After their fantastic dinner—any dinner was fantastic if Meg didn’t have to cook it—she turned back the bedspread and fluffed the pillows on Josh’s bed. The mattress was old and sagged a little, but it’d be replaced soon with the same ones they used at the hotel. She’d have to talk to Casey about going in on a larger order so they’d get better pricing.

  She turned to go check on Haley and ran into Josh’s hard chest. He backed her up until the mattress hit her legs. The next thing she knew she was on her back, pinned to the bed by his big, hard body.

  He swiped away a piece of fallen hair from her forehead. “I’m here to convince the jury to vote in favor of forgiving me and giving me another chance.”

  All his weight should have made it hard to breathe, but it just felt good. Too good. She needed to keep her defenses up. “Where’s Haley?”

  “She asked if my phone could play movies like yours. We pulled up some Disney thing.”

  “She’s sneaky, like you. Haley would watch movies twenty-four seven if I let her. She’s only allowed a few hours a week.”

  “Okay. Now back to us?”

  “It’s complicated, Josh.”

  “I’m honestly sorry, Meg. For everything. Mostly for not being there for you and Haley. You’re a great mom, but Haley needs a father too. And I plan to be a good one.”

  “Kids grow
up with one parent all the time and turn out just fine. I did.” She stared into his eyes. “Saying you’re sorry doesn’t make the pain magically disappear and make everything all better. How can I be sure you won’t hurt us again?”

  He cringed. “I know trust doesn’t come easily for you. I didn’t help by leaving like that. You and Haley are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I swear I’ll never leave you guys again.”

  She closed her eyes. The sadness in his gaze pierced her heart. She hated how much she missed his touch, missed sharing simple meals, and just . . . being with him. She’d never had such an easy relationship with anyone else. But she couldn’t bear it if he left again. Couldn’t bear it if he hurt Haley. “So I should just take you at your word, Josh? Just hand over my and Haley’s hearts so you can crush them again?”

  He sighed. “You need more time for me to prove to you I’m sticking. And that’s fine. I can be as patient as necessary. But when I pushed you away, I never stopped loving you, Meg.” He tucked his face next to hers and laid a soft kiss on her cheek. “It was nice tonight. Being with you and Haley. Like the family in Haley’s picture.”

  The lonely pain in his words made her eyes sting with tears. How could a man with so few friends and who grew up without parents be so sweet? He should be bitter and cold.

  When they’d broken up, he kept telling her it was him, and not her. He wasn’t good enough for her. He didn’t know how to be a parent or be part of a family. She should find someone who could be a good husband to her because he was afraid he couldn’t and she deserved the best. Those all sounded like standard breakup lines to her at the time. Coward’s words.

  Now, she wanted to believe he’d meant them.

  She ached to sleep with him, to feel that connection to him like she’d never felt with any other man, but for the moment she’d be content to lie quietly under him, happy to feel his heart beat slowly against her indecisive one.

  She ran her hand through his soft hair and whispered, “You’ll be the first to know when the verdict finally comes in.”

  The front door opened and a deep voice called out, “Anyone home?”

  Haley let out a yelp. “Hi, Uncle Ryan!”

  “Dammit.” Meg poked Josh in the ribs to make him move. “Ryan is being a big . . . brother again.”

  Josh slowly rolled off the bed and scooped her up with him, plopping her onto her feet. “What does that mean?”

  “I’ll tell you later. Let’s go before he barges in here with his gun drawn.”

  When they hit the living room, Meg grabbed Ryan’s arm and yanked him straight out the front door with her. Hands on hips, she said, “Cut. It. Out! He’s Haley’s father, for God’s sake!”

  “What? It’s my day off tomorrow. I was just going to offer to help you around here.” Ryan tucked his hands into his jeans pockets and at least had the decency to look guilty.

  Meg glanced over her shoulder. Josh stood just inside the door, ready to come to her rescue if necessary. She turned back to Ryan and lowered her voice. “Let me guess. You want to help me, then when I’m not looking, go through all of Josh’s things for clues, right?”

  “Yep.” He smiled. “But I’ll help with the dock too.”

  “I’m not letting you search his room. And as much as I could use a hand, Dad said you guys couldn’t help me. You don’t need him mad at you too.”

  “Dad said we couldn’t loan you money. I’ll be here at eight.” His fist landed a light tap to her shoulder. “Just looking out for you, Meggy.”

  His quiet show of support made her anger dissipate by the time he started his truck and backed out of the drive. Sometimes her brothers and sister could get on her last nerve, but at least she had family who loved her.

  Unlike Josh. Who had no one.

  The next morning, hammer in her hand, Meg wiped the sweat from her brow with her arm as she and Ryan worked on her new dock. Reaching inside the pouch at her waist, she grabbed another nail and then pounded it into the decking. The ache in her back and the growl of her stomach made Meg tug the phone from her pocket to check the time. Almost noon. They’d made some serious progress, so she owed her brother a good lunch. She could probably pull something together inside, but it’d be so much easier to pick something up from Aunt Gloria’s diner. “I’ll go get us some subs. Be right back.”

  Ryan nodded and went back to hammering. She jogged into the house to get her car keys and spotted the little note Josh had left for her that morning. “Coffee’s on and lots of healthy stuff for snacks in the fridge. Quit scowling at the healthy part and have a nice day.” Reading it again made her smile. He did know her better than she’d thought.

  That he had fresh coffee waiting for her and Ryan when he didn’t even drink it was pretty great too. Maybe she’d pick up a sandwich for Josh while she was at it and drop it by the shop on her way back.

  After she’d circled to the other side of the lake and checked on Haley and Grandma, who were eating their lunch too, she walked into the blessedly cool diner.

  Her father sat at the counter. If she hadn’t been starving to death, she might have turned right around to avoid him, but hunger won out. She sat on the stool next to him. “Hey, Dad. How are you feeling? Sue Ann said you had another headache the other night?”

  “It was nothin’.” Her father took a bite of his sandwich. Probably so he wouldn’t have to talk.

  Fine by her.

  Thankfully Gloria strolled over and sent her a warm smile. “How are you today, sweetheart?” She slid a cold Dr Pepper in front of Meg.

  “Starving! Can I get two meatball subs with fries, a turkey-and-avocado sandwich with mustard, no mayo, and a fruit cup all to go?” She took a long drink of her soda and sighed. “Thanks. That hit the spot.”

  “You’re welcome.” Gloria tucked a pencil into her beehive. “Funny. A turkey sandwich with a fruit cup on the side is just what Zeke’s new employee ordered for lunch yesterday.” She winked and walked away to place the order.

  Her dad grunted and took another bite of his pot roast sandwich.

  When she reached out to take another drink, her father snatched her arm to stop her. “Where did you get that ring?”

  She’d forgotten she still had it on. “I found it in the attic. It was Mom’s.”

  “I’m aware of that.” He swung around to face her. “I thought all of that had been destroyed. What else did you find?”

  His anger made no sense. But then, the man never made any sense to her. “Just stuff. Like her diploma, report cards, things like that. Why?”

  His jaw clenched. “Nothing else?”

  There were those files at the bottom. Maybe she’d just keep that little fact to herself. “Just the usual. Why would you want to destroy all of Mom’s things?”

  He shook his head and then turned back to his sandwich. “Heard you signed on a loan yesterday.”

  Dead end, as always, when it came to discussing her mother. “Yeah. I can get started on the big stuff now.”

  Dad just nodded as he chewed.

  Luckily, Gloria reappeared with three white bags. “Here you go. On the house until you get your lodge done. In return, you and I are going to work out an arrangement for feeding your new guests here sometimes.” Gloria sent Dad a smug, in-your-face grin.

  Meg snatched up the bags before her dad could protest and leaned over the counter to give her aunt a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks. You’re awesome!” Meg dashed for the door, and then hopped into her nice new car.

  God, she loved Aunt Gloria.

  Next, she pulled up in front of Zeke’s shop. What was Amber’s Mercedes doing parked out front? Maybe visiting her uncle. But Josh mentioned Zeke was going to be gone most of the day getting parts.

  With a sick, familiar feeling from their high school days brewing, Meg hopped out of her car, forgetting all about Josh’s lunch.

  As she passed through the doors, she pulled up short. Amber had her hand on Josh’s chest, smiling up at him.

&n
bsp; Haley wasn’t with her this time and she’d had about all she was going to take from that man-stealer. Just as she was about to go all crazy woman on Amber, Josh took a step back and raised his palms. “Nothing is going to happen between you and me, Amber. Ever.”

  Amber smiled slyly. “You’re a man. You’ll give in eventually. See you around.” Then she turned and spotted Meg.

  Plastering on a smug grin, she said, “Whoops.”

  Josh turned and cringed. “This isn’t what you’re thinking, Meg.”

  “I was just thinking I kinda liked the way you shut Amber down.” With adrenaline still pumping hot through her veins, she closed the distance between her and Josh. She grabbed his face and kissed him. Hard. Amber could just eat her heart out.

  When Josh wound his big arms around her and kissed her back with equal intensity, Meg got pulled so deeply under his spell, she almost forgot Amber was there. God, she really missed kissing Josh.

  After they finally came up for air, she turned to Amber. “Run along and maybe I won’t tell Randy about this.”

  “Nothing to tell. Besides, it’d be my word against yours. And we all know what your word is worth in this town, Meg. Have a nice day, Josh.” She added a little extra hip action as she strolled out the door.

  After she was gone, Meg said, “Hi. I brought you some lunch.”

  “Really?” He beamed a big smile that made her knees go a little weak. Well, okay. A lot weak. That he had on a tight T-shirt that highlighted his big muscles, worn but nicely fitting jeans, and work boots didn’t help.

  Yum.

  She took his hand, tugged him to her car, and grabbed a to-go bag.

  “Thank you.” He frowned as he read the writing on the outside. “Meatball sub and fries? I guess you’re still mad at me, then?”

  She snatched the bag back and swapped it out for the other. “Those are for me and Ryan. We’re doing hard labor today, so we earned them. This boring one is for you and your healthy arteries.”

  Josh peered into the sack and then slapped a hand over his heart. “You got me a fruit cup on the side? Does this mean you love me again?”