Something Precious

by M. Clarke

  Josh’s dad had abandoned his family when Josh was only five years old. Recently, his parents had united again, but his father had later passed away from a stroke. My idiocy had made me sound insensitive.

  “I know.”He grinned.“She’s doing the best she can. We’re trying to move forward. Sometimes death brings people closer together, or it tears them apart. Luckily, in my case, my brother and I are talking again.”

  Josh and his brother had had a huge fight, which he didn’t like to talk about. They hadn’t spoken in years. I never asked again after he’d told me he didn’t want to talk about it. I figured when he was ready, he would. When I heard things like that, I became more appreciative of my own brother. Though he was sometimes a pain in the ass, I was glad we were on good terms. We were there for each other.

  I didn’t want to leave Nathan out.“How are yours?”

  “Healthy for now,”he sighed.“I don’t understand. My dad can’t follow simple requests like taking his prescriptions on a daily basis. It’s not that he can’t remember. It’s more like he doesn’t want to. My mom has to fight with him on the days he doesn’t want to take it. He has borderline high blood pressure. I feel sorry for my mom. I hope we don’t become that stubborn when we get older. I would never want to put that kind of pressure on my wife. Just shoot me, okay?”

  Josh twirled his chopsticks and pointed at Nathan.“That’s if you ever get married. With your lack of dating, and if you keep going at this rate, you’ll be old and gray and still a bachelor.”

  Nathan chuckled.“Why do I need only one woman in my life right now? I enjoy sleeping with whomever, no strings attached. At least I’m getting some.”

  Josh narrowed his eyes at him scornfully.“You think you’re the only one?”

  I arched my brow at the topic of our conversation, as I listened to my adult friends talk like they were in high school. Then the realization that they had finished several bottles of sake hit me.“Can you lower it a bit? We’re at a sushi restaurant, not a bar where the noise drowns out our voices.”

  They both looked at Jace.“Sorry,”they said in accord.

  “I think I’m a little buzzed,”Josh confessed, looking at the menu list to order. It was an all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant. He picked up the small pencil, checked off a few things, and waved it at the waitress.

  “You’re going to order more?”I asked, looking at all the empty plates on our table. We looked like fuckin’pigs. The flirty young waitress with blonde hair took it from Josh with a seductive smile and left. If we weren’t there with him, I was pretty sure he would’ve asked her for her number. Maybe he would later by pretending to use the restroom. I hadn’t known him that long, but I knew him well enough.

  “I’m still hungry. We hardly had anything for lunch, remember?” Josh reminded.

  Josh was right. After our meeting with one of the Knights’representatives, we had done some fittings and some practice shoots. Though the Knights had catered lunch for us, we hadn’t eaten much. I didn’t know what my friends’reasons were, but as for me, I had lost my appetite the day Rachel left me. I’d hardly touched dinner tonight, and my beer bottle was more than halfway full. I’d noticed decreased appetite in Jace as well. My poor Jace! He was a little kid mixed up in a grown-up fight.

  “Will Rachel be there at Jace’s birthday party?”Josh asked, giving me wary eyes, uncertain if he should have asked me that question.

  I looked at Jace then back at him.“I don’t know.”

  “Didn’t you tell me she’s planned the whole thing?”Nathan asked.

  “Don’t remind me.” I felt awful. I had been so busy when she started planning that she willingly took all the responsibility and handled it by herself. Not that it was difficult to do, but that was her time and stress. I wished I could let her know how much I appreciated her. Sometimes we forget to offer the simple thank yous or gestures that might seem small to us, but so meaningful to the person hearing or receiving them.

  “Don’t worry, Jax,”Josh said.“We’ll be there. We’ve got your back.”

  I had made many friends throughout my life. Some wanted to be my friend so they could use me and move up in their modeling careers. And I’d lost some when I hooked up with Chloe, because they couldn’t stand her. Why didn’t I see the red flag that Chloe would be trouble? I had no excuse. I was young and naive. But to hear those words“we’ve got your back” meant the world to me. Just as I thought about Hendrix, my phone vibrated.

  “Excuse me. It’s my brother. I’ll be right back.”

  They nodded at the same time. I stepped outside just as the waitress cleared the table and handed them our second round of orders.

  “Hendrix?”It was so good to hear from my brother. With his traveling back and forth between Maui, Kauai, and New York, and the time difference, we didn’t usually get a chance to talk. We texted, but his were always to let me know he had gotten there safe. Hendrix didn’t like texting and neither did I.

  “Jax. What’s going on?”His tone was full of concern.

  There was no greeting; he got straight to the point. Shit! He already knew before I could tell him. Who could have told him? Matthew? He might have spoken to Matthew.

  “You heard?”My tone dipped low and soft, suddenly feeling my heart twisting with knives.

  “Yes. Matthew and I spoke briefly. He let me know that you might need me.”

  That was nice of Matthew. Since this whole incident began, I thought he would be strictly on Rachel’s side. In fact, I’d thought I had lost the contract with the Knights. But we were going full force. Unless I did something unprofessional, I guessed he wasn’t the type to put personal feelings first.

  “Rachel left me.”Saying the words to my brother sounded so final. I wanted to punch the wall I was staring at in front of me. This was really between Rachel and me, but I needed to empty out my concerns and frustrations. I didn’t want to share everything with my friends even though I was beginning to trust them. But I told my brother everything—what happened with Chloe, with Rachel, and even my suspicions of Jonah. I had no proof besides the roses in her office. I wished I could have read the note.

  “Why the fuck did you let Chloe back into your life?”

  My brother had hated Chloe from the start, and like always, he had no reservations in letting me know how he felt about her. And like always, he had to give me his two cents’worth.

  “I did it for Jace. I thought I was doing the right thing.”I looked through the window. Jace waved at me and his cute dimples popped out. His lips were curled so high, I could feel his love for me.

  “Do Mom and Dad know?”His tone softened.

  “No. I’m going to make this right. We still have time to fix this.”

  “You better fix this fast or you’ll never get her back.”Hendrix scared the shit out of me. He had a way with shaking me up. Being the older brother and not having Mom and Dad around due to work schedules, sometimes Hendrix was it, besides my grandparents. Other than my parents and my grandparents, no one cared about me the way Hendrix did.

  “Do I need to fix this, Jax?”He sounded like he meant it.

  Hell, no. I wasn’t five years old. Sometimes my brother could be overbearing and occasionally crossed the line. This was one area he had no business in. He could give me advice, but no way was he talking to Rachel.

  “Hendrix,”I growled.“I’ve got this, okay? Don’t talk to Rachel. It’s not your place.”

  “Sorry,”he sighed.“I just want the best for you. I was so happy when Chloe was out of your life and you had found Rachel.”

  “Correction. We were all happy. I’m not going to make our parents worry. I’m not going to tell them anything until—”I couldn’t say it, and it hurt too much to even think about the possibility that Rachel and I might be over. I was going to give her a week and then see what happened.“Just don’t tell Mom and Dad, okay?”Why the hell did I sound like a little boy, begging my brother not to tell our parents, as if I had done something I wa
sn’t supposed to do?

  “Okay,”he finally said.“Keep me informed. Rachel and Stacey spoke on the phone, but Stacey won’t tell me a damn thing. She says I’ll tell you whatever she tells me.” He sounded frustrated.

  “Where are you?”I suddenly realized I had no idea where he was.

  “I’m in New York. I’m flying to Maui tomorrow. I’m going to open up a second restaurant on the other side of the island.”

  “Sounds like things are going great. I’m happy for you.”And I was. Business had started out rough for him, but ever since he opened up Beach Front in Kauai, it had boomed. Following in our parents’footsteps in real estate, he’d started off helping them, and then got into the restaurant business.

  “Thanks. I’m sorry Stacey and I can’t make it to Jace’s birthday party. We sent him a package. Please give him our love.”

  I looked at Jace again, talking and laughing with my friends. I appreciated that they engaged with him instead of ignoring him, but then again, Jace was talkative and too adorable. Even at a young age, his presence had demanded attention before he could even say a word. Of course, I was biased. He was my son. He was everything to me.

  “Don’t worry about it. I don’t expect you to fly down for his birthday. We’ll see you at the wedding.”I tried to sound positive, but my tone betrayed me.

  There was silence over the phone.“I hope so,”he said finally.

  After we hung up, I called Rachel. She might not want to talk to me, but I wanted to talk to her. I needed to hear her voice, as if I could make the hurt go away, but it only made it worse. Hearing her voice made the ache pierce deeper. I wanted to tell her I was sorry for hurting her and to come home, but the words didn’t flow out when I heard her voice telling me to leave a message.

  Oh, what the hell! I called her back, this time determined to leave a message.

  “Rachel, I’m sorry. I—I should’ve done something before it got this far. Please forgive me and come home. I miss you very much. I love you.”

  I sounded pathetic, but I didn’t care. I didn’t have an ounce of pride left in me. This situation had developed so fast that I had no idea what was happening. It was like a rug had been pulled out from underneath me and I had no idea why.

  I went back inside and spent a little bit more time with my friends, and with my little friend.

  Chapter 22

  Jackson

  It had been six days since Rachel had left, yet it felt like a year. Every day I hoped she would come home, but she didn’t—not even a phone call. I knew she visited Jace every day since he told me about it, and I believed that was the reason he’d stopped asking me when she would come home. I appreciated that she visited him and hadn’t shut him out like she had me. And I also appreciated the fact that she had arranged Jace’s birthday party and let me know that everything was all set, even if it was through an email.

  Jace and I were the first ones to walk in to Gym for Kids. Rachel and I would occasionally bring Jace there for classes where they would teach the kids basic gymnastics skills. I had to warn Jace not to flip over or do things he’d learned in class without supervision. He acted like he was invincible, and one time almost hit the corner of the dresser with his head.

  Gym for Kids reminded me of a box. The facility was one big square-shaped stand-alone building near a shopping complex. The first thing I saw was all the balloons scattered along the walls, and a huge birthday sign that read “Happy Birthday, Jace Clark.” Jace’s eyes grew big and round. He looked so excited to be there.

  My heart melted when he slipped his hand into mine without eye contact and glanced around, taking in the birthday decor. It was his silent way of thanking me, though the credit should have gone to Rachel. I took in the rare moments of him holding my hand like that, when not too long ago that was all he did. My little boy was turning five. Come August, he would be attending kindergarten. I needed time to slow down. I needed Rachel to come home so I could sleep—so I could breathe again.

  “Hello, Jace. Hello, Mr. Clark,”a young woman greeted. I had forgotten her name.

  “Trisha,”Jace greeted back.

  Trisha ruffled Jace’s hair.“Are you ready for your birthday party?”

  “Yup,”he said with a lot of excitement.

  “Your guests should be coming any minute now. Let me put this birthday crown on you.”She placed a paper crown around his head.“There. You look like a king.”

  Jace raised his chin and his lips perked. Crossing his arms with his legs spread apart, he played off the perfect king image. I playfully took the crown off him.

  “Dad! That’s mine.”He jumped up to try to snatch it away.

  Dad? What happened to Daddy?“Don’t have a fat ego like your dad,”I chuckled.

  “It’s too late.”

  I sneered at him, but inside I was thinking, this kid is just like me.A huge snort followed, unable to hold my glare at him. He was freakin’adorable. Soon, family after family entered, mostly from Jace’s daycare. I only knew them in passing, just from friendly greetings while dropping off and picking up Jace. Everyone in the building was from Knights, except for a few models that freelanced for other companies.

  “Please place your presents on this table,”Trish directed as the guests arrived.“Children, follow me.”

  “Yay!”They screamed and jumped for joy.

  “Matthew. Becky. Jenna. Max,”I greeted as they entered one by one. For some reason, I couldn’t make eye contact with Becky or Matthew for more than a second. I wanted to ask Becky if Rachel was coming, but I didn’t. They gave me friendly smiles and took their kids to the center where Trisha was with the others.

  Chloe walked in with Tania, late as usual, followed by Josh and Nathan. She was dressed to be noticed. With a colorful dress and her hair long and wavy, like she had just gotten it done at a hair salon, Chloe seemed to be gloating proudly around the room.

  “Jace,”Chloe greeted him like she hadn’t seen him in ages, making me seem like an asshole who wouldn’t let her see her own son.“I missed you.”

  “Hi, Mom.”Jace seemed a little wary, squirmed out of her embrace, and ran to his friends.

  With her hands on her hips, she said,“He’s going to forget me. And soon, he won’t even care about me.”

  Tania gave me an evil eye.

  I felt a touch on my shoulder. I whipped around, hoping it was Rachel, but it was Josh.“Forget what she said and move on.”

  I already had. Nothing she said fazed me anymore. It went in one ear and out the other.“Don’t worry,”I reassured.“I’m immune to Chloe’s sting and her actions. I’m going to pretend she’s not here.”

  “Any word if Rachel is going to be here?”Nathan asked.

  I shook my head, trying to hide my disappointment.

  Trisha did a great job of entertaining the children. She had a couple of assistants to help her with them. They walked on balance beams, swung on ropes, scaled the climbing wall, and even had fun popping big fat bubbles. It surely was a fun place for kids Jace’s age. Giggles, joy, and fun filled the air, and the parents smiled and laughed right along with their children.

  Jace, knowing everything there was to know about Gym for Kids, acted like he was one of the instructors, directing the kids on what to do. It was funny to see my child act like a grown-up. I could tell he had leadership skills.

  An hour and a half had passed and there was still no Rachel, and it was time for lunch. After Trisha sprayed antibacterial spray on our hands, we were led into the party room. It wasn’t as big, but it accommodated all of us, cozy but comfortable. Pizza boxes, sodas, bags of chips, and vegetable trays were set out on the table toward the back of the room.

  After we had our fill of lunch, we got ready to cut the cake. Trisha rolled in a small cart and on top was a green cake that was decorated with Ninja Turtle action figures. Even I was in awe of the creativity.

  “Wow, that’s the best cake ever,”one of Jace’s friends said.

  “Cool! Ninja Tu
rtles. You’re so lucky,”another one commented.

  Jace gave a smug smile, but at least he remembered his manners.“Thank you.”

  “Mr. Clark, could you please stand behind Jace. And...is Rachel here?”Trisha asked, looking confused.

  The whole room went silent. Rachel was the one that had arranged the party. She must be wondering why she wasn’t there.

  “No. She had an emergency. She couldn’t make it,”I whispered in her ear, as everyone stared at me, wondering what I was saying to her. Even the children were staring at me.

  “I’m his mom.”Chloe speedily walked down the tile floor to us.“I’m Jace’s mother.”

  “Oh.”Trisha sounded stunned. Her tone infuriated Chloe. I could tell by the dagger stare she threw at Trisha. Trisha shook it off and said,“Everyone, on the count of three sing Happy Birthday to Jace. One—Two—Three!”

  After we sang the song, Jace blew out his candles, and the sound of thunderous clapping filled the room.

  “Family picture?”Trisha asked.

  Chloe stood next to Jace, posing, ready to take a picture. Trisha took a snapshot with my phone while everyone either stared in awe or disgust, depending on whose side they were on. I humored everyone, being in this picture I didn’t want to have taken. I cringed, but kept a fake smile when Jace wrapped his arms around both of our necks, pulling us in closer as if we were a happy family. I was far from happy.

  The party was nearing the end, and I had lost hope of Rachel attending. Just as Jace let go of his arms, I looked out the glass window to see Rachel staring at us. Fuck! She had to have been there just as we took that damn picture, and she had to have seen us looking like a family. Our eyes locked. I could see sadness in her eyes and the look of defeat. My Rachel was hurting. I would know…’cause I was hurting too.