Something Precious
Page 17
Jace was the one thing that kept me strong, and I couldn’t wait to see him. I didn’t want to go to Chloe’s room. Who knew what she would try to do or had schemed up, and hell would freeze over before I would even let her have a chance to try.
“Daddy!”I heard Jace’s voice in the lobby before I could spot him. Hearing fast footsteps on the marble floor coming toward me, I swung around just in time to lift him up. At that moment I felt all of his love and mine pouring through our embrace. I knew he had missed me, just as I had missed him.
“Chloe,”I acknowledged her as she came toward us.
“Jax.”She smiled.“Want to go for an ice cream? I promised Jace that we would wait for you.”
She must think I’m an idiot. I pulled Jace back to let him know I was in control.“Jace, we can’t. I had a long flight and I’m very tired. Plus, I asked Jessica to load up the freezer with your favorite ice cream. Let’s go home and pig out.”
“You did?”Jace jumped for joy.“Let’s go.”He held my hand, which I was extremely surprised at, and tugged me toward the double glass doors.
I knew Chloe was upset that things weren’t going her way, but I didn’t give a fuck. Just looking at her reminded me that she was the cause of Rachel leaving me. I didn’t bother to thank her for taking care of Jace. But why the hell should I? I didn’t want to be rude, so I said goodnight, making brief eye contact, and left her standing there. After taking several steps with Jace, I stopped.“Did you bring anything with you?”
“Nope.”
“Not even any of your stuffed turtles?”
“Nope.”
My eyes widened in surprise. Then I wondered if Chloe had told him not to.“Why not?”
Jace looked at me like I should have known. He did that funny neck swirl I’d seen some teenagers do and said,“Dad, I’m five now. I’m not a baby anymore.”
“Really?”I humored him.
“Yup. Big boys don’t carry stuffed animals. That’s what the five-year-olds say at my daycare.”
Jace without his stuffed turtle sent an ache through my heart. This really confirmed he was growing up. I wasn’t ready for this. Time had to slow down. But this little grown-up—I didn’t know if it was intentional—was still holding my hand. Yeah, I melted.
Hearing clicking sounds behind me, I knew Chloe was following us. Now what? What did she want? I rolled my eyes, and I was about to turn around, but I halted instead. What the hell? Rachel and Jonah were coming out of the restaurant. He had his arm around her. They looked like a couple on a date.
The little happiness I had. just burst right in front of me. I’d been so miserable, and for the first time in a couple of weeks I was able to smile, but this—seeing them together—just shattered me. I felt like Rachel had pulled my heart out and stomped on it.
I couldn’t move. Any second now, they were going to look this way as the restaurant door closed behind them. Shit!It just did. Rachel’s eyes locked on mine in shock.
Rachel
I headed toward Melissa with a wave when she spotted me. The restaurant was dimly lit, so I was surprised that she was able to see me from afar. As expected, Jonah was there. After the hugs, I sat beside Melissa. Water glasses were already filled and the menus were set on the table. They had already ordered their drinks.
“Sorry, I’m late,” I said.
Melissa handed me a menu. “Don’t worry about it. Jonah and I were just talking. I know the traffic is terrible in LA.”
Melissa was wearing a navy pantsuit, looking professional, and Jonah looked really good in his olive suit. His jacket was hung over the back of the chair. As for me, I was wearing white dress pants and a light-blue sweater. In Los Angeles, wearing white pants was acceptable during the winter.
“Carson couldn’t join us?” I asked, opening the menu, even though I already knew. The aroma in the restaurant was suddenly making my stomach churn unpleasantly. Please don’t throw up!
“He’s actually on a business trip to China or else he would have come along.”
“Oh, that’s too bad.” I tried not to look at Jonah. His intense stare made me nervous. I looked through the menu and picked what I wanted. It helped to shake off my nerves. “How about you, Jonah? Where are you off to next?”
“I’m in town to finish an ad for Guess and then I’ll be going back to New York. Maybe you can come visit?” He leaned back in his chair, lighting up with a suave but smug expression.
If I wasn’t with Jax, that grin might have done something for me, but the feelings I’d had the last time were gone. Maybe it had been seeing him for the first time after all these years that had brought about the initial emotions. The what-ifs could be dangerous questions. And being mad at Jax regarding Chloe had added more confusion, but no more. I had to set this right.
“Are you ready to order?”Melissa asked.“I’m starving.”She waved the waitress down.
After Melissa and Jonah ordered, it was my turn. Would they look at me funny if I just ordered soup?“I’ll have the chicken soup and a side salad, please.”
After the waitress left, Melissa asked,“Just a soup and salad? It’s no wonder you’re so skinny,”she chuckled.
“I’m not that hungry. I had a late lunch,”I explained, feeling a little queasy. Oh God! The steak I had just seen that was fresh out of the kitchen made me want to vomit. Squeezing my eyes shut and looking down, I felt my stomach tighten from the sudden cramping pain.
“Are you okay?”Jonah asked.
Of course he had seen that, since he was staring at me nonstop. His gorgeous face was changing into looking more like a troll’s face. I didn’t know if it was from my hormones, but if he didn’t stop, I was going to...do something. I didn’t know what, but something.
“I’m fine.”I smiled.“I’m just a little tired.”
Jonah rested one elbow on the table.“I still can’t believe you’re Matthew Knight’s sister-in-law and you’re working for him. Is that how you got the job?”
Heat flushed my face, but not from blushing. I couldn’t believe how offended I was from his words. Did he think I only got the job because I was Matthew’s sister-in-law and not for the fact that I was actually good at what I did? He must have seen the expression on my face. Was it that obvious I was irate?
“I meant,”he continued, “I’m sure you’re that good because they wouldn’t hire just anyone; a friend of mine tried and he was rejected. He’s very talented and I was pretty sure he would’ve gotten the job.”
“Well—”Melissa placed a hand on my shoulder.“Rachel must be better.”
I smiled at her, watching the waitress bring our dinner.
“So, tell me how you met Jax?”Melissa asked, taking a scoop of her rice pilaf.
“We met in Kauai, of all the places.”Telling her about Jax made me miss him even more. All that loving feeling I tried to bury from being so mad at him resurfaced. I wished it were tomorrow already. I wanted to tell him that I was carrying our child.“We’re getting married in two months, and we’re going to dive right into having more children.”I wanted to stress this point, hoping Jonah would get the message.
“That’s wonderful, Rachel,”Melissa gloated, wiping her mouth with the cloth napkin.“I’m so happy for you. I’m so glad you found your man. They say it gets harder to date as you age, and I have to agree. Not that we’re old, but I’m so busy working and traveling for work that it’s hard to find a date.”
During dinner, Jonah didn’t seem as attentive toward me as before. My subtle hints were working. Thank God!But then of course he noticed that I wasn’t wearing my ring.
Jonah’s eyes shifted down to my left hand after he placed his glass on the table once he had taken a drink. “Do you not wear your engagement ring when you go out with your friends?”
He had to notice, but it made me feel bad. I took it off to let Jax know that it was over, and I didn’t want it to be over.“I left it at home. I take it off when I go home and I forgot to put it on this morning.”
She had no idea what Jonah was hinting at, and she had no idea he had been trying to lure me to him. Talking helped me forget about my nausea, but as soon as our conversation slowed down, the feeling became overwhelming. I tried to concentrate on something else—anything else but food—that was impossible. It didn’t help that Jonah had ordered steak. But I managed to get through dinner.
Melissa couldn’t stay for dessert. She left shortly after dinner, leaving me alone with Jonah. This was my chance to set him straight.
“Jonah.”I fidgeted with my fingers folded on my lap. This was so awkward.“I appreciate the flowers, but please don’t send them anymore. I’m in love with Jax, and nothing is going to change that. We’re having a rough time right now, but it doesn’t mean we’re over. I guess you and I weren’t meant to be. It didn’t happen in high school, and it isn’t going to happen now.”I let out a small laugh to lighten the topic.
His forehead crinkled.“How about Chloe?”
I swallowed my pride, but I might have cringed.“I feel sorry for her. For someone who’s beautiful, talented, and has so much going for her—”I couldn’t believe I was saying these nice things about her,“—she really has nothing because she’s selfish. She’s allowing her pride and insecurities to get in the way of her happiness.”Then I realized just a little bit of what I was saying was about me too.
Jonah curled his lips a little.“Jax is lucky to have you. I hope he knows it. I don’t know him that well, but I took my chance with you because he doesn’t have the best reputation among women. I guess he has changed for you. He’s smart to do it.”
I dipped my head a little from his compliment, and then looked up.“Thank you, but I’m the lucky one.”I started to feel queasy again.“It’s been a long day,”I hinted.
“Yes, but a good one.”He grinned.“I guess you’ll always be my‘one that got away,’” he said amiably.
After he paid for dinner, we headed out to the lobby together, and what I saw before me had me frozen. Jax and Jace were a few steps away, and Chloe was right behind them. What was going on? Why would they be here? Then it occurred to me that maybe Chloe was staying here. Why, oh why, out of all the places, did Melissa and Chloe have to stay at the same hotel? And why did I have to be left alone with Jonah for Jax to see? It looked like we were having a romantic dinner, just the two of us.
“Rachel,”Jace said, looking confused.
“Well. Look who’s on a date,”Chloe said with a smug look on her face, as if she had caught me red-handed.
Jax just stood there for a second. Actually, we all stood still for what seemed like an eternity. I slipped away from Jonah’s hand around my waist. He had his hand there to gesture me to walk out first through the open door.
Jax’s eyes met mine for a second, and then he refused to look at me. It happened so fast that my reflexes couldn’t register. Jax grabbed Jace and got the hell out of there. I think I finally blinked, and tried to follow behind.
“Jax. I need to talk to you.”I ran out into the crisp cool air that felt so good, but I had to wrap my arms around my stomach from the intense cramping pain. My OB/GYN appointment was next week. I hoped nothing was wrong as a wave of nausea took over. The coldness helped, somewhat. But I was too late. I looked in every direction I could. Jax and Jace must have gotten into a cab.
I went back to say goodbye to Jonah.“I wish you well, Jonah.”
“Do you want me to talk to Jax?”At first I thought he was joking, but his blank gaze told me he wasn’t.
“No. After I explain, it will be fine,”I assured. I tried to downplay my uncertainty, but I really wasn’t sure. Jax might not want to see me after running into him like this. The look on his face was an expression of hurt I couldn’t shake off. My mind was swirling in circles and my heart felt crushed. We couldn’t do this anymore.
Thank goodness Chloe wasn’t around. If she had said anything to me, I might have punched her in the face. I wasn’t an aggressive type, and I really didn’t want to start today, but I might have, especially with my crazy hormones. But I was doing it in my mind as I drove to my hotel.
Chapter 25
Jackson
I had lost Rachel. That thought kept echoing in my mind. And the image of seeing Jonah and Rachel together kept stabbing at my heart, like a knife piercing the same wound over and over again. Maybe Rachel would be happier with him. She wouldn’t have to deal with a child that didn’t belong to her, and she wouldn’t have to deal with a psycho ex like Chloe.
I felt numb and dazed as I put Jace to bed. He asked me many questions about why Rachel was with another man, and I played it off and told him he was her friend. I knew Jace was hurting too, but he did his best to move on. During the day, his stuffed turtles lined the shelves, but at night, he would sleep with the turtle named Wachel. It was his way of coping. I wished I had a way of coping too. It fuckin’hurt so much.
I had totally screwed up. This was my fault. I had let Chloe in. I didn’t know what to do anymore. The ball was in her court. Would we still have our meeting tomorrow? I didn’t know. Would it make a difference? The sound of the doorbell alerted me. Rachel? I ran downstairs as I wondered why I thought it might have been her. What were the chances? When I looked through the peephole, I was utterly disappointed, and rage boiled inside me.
“What do you want?” I huffed in annoyance.
“You need a friend.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re not my friend. You’re my nightmare.”
“Come on, Jax, open up. I have Jace’s backpack.”
Shit! How could I have forgotten that? I opened the door to snatch it away. The immature side of me planned to slam the door on her, but she held it behind her, anticipating my move. We’d had so many screaming fights before, she knew me well.
“Give it to me and leave. Jace is sleeping.”
She flicked her hair away from her shoulder and held up her head with pride. “I need to talk to you. It’s about Jace. Something is wrong.”
“Maybe it’s you.” I didn’t have the energy to block her when she squeezed through. I didn’t try hard when she brought up Jace’s welfare. “What about?” I closed the door, but I didn’t lock it. About ten minutes was all that I was going to give her. Standing there by the door was my way of letting her know that she didn’t have much time, but of course she did her own thing.
Chloe sat comfortably on the sofa. “Jace seems...can kids get depressed?”
“He has you as a mother. So that would be a reason.”
She frowned. “Seriously. I’m worried about him.”
Now I was worried. If Chloe had noticed something off about Jace, then that was an alarm. I had been gone for three days. What had happened in three days besides Rachel being gone? Taking my phone out of my pocket, I typed a reminder to myself to ask Jessica what she had observed while she was watching him. I was about to put it away when I noticed a missed text and call. It was from Rachel: Jax, we need to talk. I’m coming over.
Fuck! That was thirty minutes ago when I had been helping Jace out of the shower. Glaring at Chloe, I seethed, “Get out!”
Rachel
Uncontrollable tears kept streaming down my face on my way to the hotel. I pulled over where it was safe and tried to calm my emotions. Taking my phone out from my purse, I accidentally grabbed the letter Jax had written to me. I opened it.
My dearest Rachel,
I don’t know how to begin my apology, and I don’t think a simple sorry is enough to make up for the pain you’re feeling right now. But I need you to believe me when I say that I didn’t cheat on you. It was stupid of me to think that Chloe would change for Jace. That was my mistake, but never did I let her in our lives for me.
I know that the only image you can see is Chloe and me in bed together,
but you have to know that it disgusts me that you have that image in your mind. It kills me to know that all the wonderful times we shared and still have left to share have been replaced by an act of manipulation by a person that shouldn’t matter. And how easily she was able to separate us and get her way. We are stronger than that. We can get through this. It also pains me to know how much you’re hurting. I know your pain because I’m feeling it too, babe.
I want you to think about what you would have done, if you had a child and the father was like Chloe. My parents were good parents, but as you already know, they weren’t around much. When I was a child the only thing I really wanted was to spend more time with my parents. Time is such a precious thing. We all take it for granted. And because I’ve been through it, I wanted it to be different for Jace. Yes, Chloe is not the best mom, and let me stress—not the best—but she loves him and I know he loves her. I don’t know if Jace would have ever forgiven me if I had taken that away from him. Sometimes parents have to make sacrifices for their children. I just never thought it would mean losing you or I wouldn’t have done it. As much as it sounds selfish, I need you more than Jace needs Chloe. I feel horrible for saying that.
Maybe I wasn’t clear before in my explanation. Maybe this reason won’t make a difference or change your mind, but it’s not an excuse. It’s the truth. Don’t you know how much I love you? Don’t you know how much Jace loves you? We’re suffering without you. Without you, even though I have Jace, I’m broken. Every day is going to be torture without you. Please come home, baby. Please forgive me. I never needed anyone as much as I need you. You’re my home, my hope, my dreams, you’re my other half of my soul, and you’re everything to me. I just want forever with you.
Love forever,
Jax
Tears streamed down my face and I sobbed into my hands. What had I done? I had let Chloe hurt us. I should have been stronger. I should have trusted Jax. After I stopped the tears, I called Jax. Maybe he didn’t want to talk to me anymore after seeing Jonah and me together. When it went to voice mail, I texted him to let him know that I was on my way home.