Wives of War

by Soraya M. Lane

  ‘I suppose it could be worse,’ she said honestly, folding her hands in her lap.

  ‘Worse than what you’re used to at home?’ he asked, plucking at the grass as he watched her, his eyes never leaving hers.

  ‘You could say that.’ She laughed, and liked that he smiled straight back at her. Scarlet forced her shoulders to relax, took a deep breath, and tried to let go of whatever it was that was making her feel guilty. He was a soldier and she was a nurse, and if she couldn’t talk to one friendly soldier, then how would she ever be able to treat hundreds of them? ‘You could say that my parents never expected either of their daughters to ever lift a finger, let alone do work like this. My sister followed my father’s wishes, she’s volunteering close to home. But the longer the war has gone on, the more compelled I have felt to do something more.’

  ‘Ahh, I see. It sounds like our families are similar.’

  She met his gaze this time. ‘You have sisters?’

  ‘No, but the world we come from would definitely mean that if I did, their making the decision to nurse away from home would have been frowned upon.’ He let go of the small handful of grass he’d gathered. ‘Good on you for putting your name forward. It must have taken some courage to go against your family’s wishes.’

  ‘How do you know I volunteered? That I wasn’t assigned to be a nurse?’ she asked, becoming more curious about the handsome soldier. She wished she hadn’t sat so far away from him now, now that she was feeling a pull towards him that wasn’t easy to ignore.

  ‘If your family’d had a say, and they’d made you volunteer before you were forced to do a job you didn’t want to, you would have ended up doing something cute and easy close to home. Not this.’

  ‘Sounds like you have me all figured out then,’ she said, shaking her head.

  ‘Don’t I?’ His eyes locked on hers again, not letting them go, and she felt the heat rise again, her skin simmering. This soldier was something else – and she knew he was dangerous company, that she didn’t need to be around him when all her energy should be focused on Thomas.

  ‘Want to take a stroll?’ he asked.

  Scarlet leapt up. ‘Yes.’ Walking meant not looking at him. It meant keeping her distance, thinking about putting one foot in front of the other.

  He placed a long piece of dry grass between his lips, drawing her gaze there. Why had he done that? When he held out his arm, she shook her head; she wasn’t about to be lured into getting too close to him again. He shrugged and she walked alongside him.

  ‘Tell me, what do you miss most about home?’ he asked.

  Scarlet sighed. ‘So many things,’ she said honestly. ‘My bed, food, not having to get up so early! Honestly, there are so many things, everything even, that I’ve always taken for granted. I won’t ever again, but I’m ashamed to say I did.’

  ‘We’re all the same. We don’t think about what we’ve got until it’s taken away.’

  ‘Do you have a wife or girlfriend you’ve left behind?’

  James slowly shook his head, a grin kicking up one side of his mouth. ‘I didn’t strike you for the forward type. How wrong I was.’

  ‘No!’ She clamped her hand over her mouth, mortified. ‘I’m not, I mean . . .’

  ‘I’m teasing,’ he said, raising an eyebrow and taking the grass from his lips, which only made her look at his mouth again.

  ‘Well, it’s not funny,’ she huffed. ‘I was simply trying to make conversation, enquiring about how you are faring without your—’

  ‘There’s no one special waiting for me. You?’

  ‘Yes,’ she said quickly as they turned back in the direction of the house, the little loop they’d walked taking them around in a misshapen sort of circle. ‘My fiancé. He’s serving.’

  ‘Ah, I see.’ He slowed his walk, gave her a look that she wasn’t sure about. ‘Well, he’s a very lucky man.’

  ‘Scarlet!’ Ellie’s call broke their connection, made Scarlet turn away from the deep brown gaze that had so easily captivated her.

  ‘Coming,’ she called back.

  ‘Go have your bath, and then I’ll take you both to find some real food,’ James said.

  ‘The water is heavenly!’ Ellie was waving at her, gesturing for her to come over. ‘If you don’t get in quickly, I’m going to get back in.’

  Scarlet walked towards her friend, pausing only briefly to look back over her shoulder at James. He hadn’t moved: his head raised, eyes still trained on her, his smile kind. There was something about the man that unnerved her, that rattled her in a way she’d thought she’d be immune to.

  ‘So? Tell me what you think? He’s gorgeous,’ Ellie whispered as she linked arms with her.

  Scarlet leaned into Ellie, needing her touch. ‘He’s lovely. I mean, if I were single . . .’ Scarlet didn’t even know what she was trying to say. ‘I have Thomas, though, Ellie. Please don’t forget that.’

  ‘Oh, for God’s sake, just enjoy a harmless flirt!’ Ellie said with a laugh.

  Scarlet glared at her, not liking being teased.

  ‘Come and meet Colonel Wright,’ Ellie said, giving her a weird look and rolling her eyes. ‘He’s divine, and he’s said we can come for a hot bath whenever we like.’

  But even the thought of her impending bath couldn’t take Scarlet’s mind off James.

  The water was luxurious, and she didn’t want to think about how long it might be before she had another interlude with hot water. But it was cooling down now and she’d already taken too long.

  Scarlet quickly dried herself and got dressed, and then fixed her hair as prettily as she could, thinking about their last lodgings and how she’d hardly been able to stand at all in the tiny cubicle. Thomas. Why wasn’t she thinking about Thomas? Why was she trying to make herself look pretty for someone else? Because it was the man outside that her thoughts kept turning to, and it was making her feel every bit the unfaithful fiancée, even though she’d done absolutely nothing inappropriate. But the way he’d looked at her and the way she’d felt trapped in his gaze . . . it had stirred her and shaken her and knocked her way off balance. He was too charming, too charismatic not to be drawn to, and she hated how fast her heart had raced when she’d been with him.

  She looked around, wondering what the old man’s story was. It must have been a lovely home once upon a time, but given how everything could use a good dusting she had a feeling that he was a widower. Scarlet stopped in the hall, dressed and ready to head back out, and bent to look at an old photograph in a frame, sitting amongst a collection of knick-knacks.

  ‘What a beautiful woman,’ Scarlet murmured.

  ‘She was.’

  ‘Oh!’ Scarlet leapt back, embarrassed at being discovered looking at someone else’s pictures. ‘I’m sorry, she just caught my eye, and I couldn’t help but take a closer look.’

  ‘She was a beauty, my Ivy,’ the colonel said, rubbing his moustache as he spoke. ‘Gone almost two years now.’

  Scarlet reached out to touch his arm, seeing the tears shine in his eyes. ‘She certainly was beautiful. I’m so sorry.’ No wonder he was offering nurses hot baths; the poor old man was probably lonely as anything and liked the company.

  ‘I’ve told that fella of yours to go pick some fruit. There’s a bit left in the old orchard out there, though it’s most likely bruised or bird pecked.’

  ‘Oh, he’s not my . . . I have a fiancé,’ Scarlet stuttered. ‘But you’re ever so kind, thank you. And you’re so generous firing up that hot water for us. You’ll never know how desperately we’ve been dreaming of a bath.’

  ‘You ladies will be back home soon, but for now, you come and see me whenever you get a break. I’m an old man with nothing better to do.’

  ‘You’re in uniform here,’ Scarlet said, pointing to another photo, set further back. She wished she had more time to spend chatting with him.

  ‘It was a long time ago,’ he said, his smile disappearing. ‘A long, long time ago.’

 
Scarlet hesitated, not sure what else to say. But he took the lead, gesturing for her to walk ahead of him towards the front door.

  ‘Thank you again,’ she said, hand on the doorframe, turning one last time to smile at him.

  ‘Let’s hope it’s not goodbye yet. They might keep you girls here a bit longer. Keep you safe and out of harm’s way.’

  Scarlet could only wish. It wasn’t exactly a hardship being based in Sussex, even with all the training. Not compared to where they could be.

  ‘Bye for now,’ Scarlet said, seeing Ellie sitting not far away in the grass, head tipped back in laughter, amused at something James had said to her.

  She took a deep breath and propelled her feet forwards. She wasn’t going to stare at James’s thick dark hair, or the fit of his uniform, or the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled. Because she loved Thomas. Anything she was feeling for this handsome soldier was probably just to do with missing her fiancé, nothing more. Thomas was dependable, safe and secure, and this man . . . he might sound like other men she knew, but that wasn’t enough to make her trust him.

  Scarlet cleared her throat with a little cough and Ellie waved.

  ‘Hi there!’

  Scarlet smiled and crossed the grass, turning to give a final quick wave to their bath saviour.

  ‘I can see why so many of the girls have been coming over here,’ Scarlet said, eyes trained on Ellie so she didn’t have to look at James. ‘He’s so kind to invite us in like that.’

  ‘He was a real sweetheart,’ Ellie agreed. ‘Scarlet, have some of this fruit. James, let her have some of that apple.’

  ‘Oh no, I’m fine.’

  ‘Hey, I don’t bite,’ he said with a grin when she was forced to turn to him. ‘Try it.’ He was holding out the apple, and she didn’t want to seem rude.

  ‘Thank you.’ Scarlet moved closer, taking it from his outstretched hand. She tried to bite delicately; it was so good, and the last fruit she’d had was what she’d brought from home and eaten on the train. She didn’t even care about the brown spots all over it.

  ‘I’d better escort you both back. Your matron looks particularly terrifying.’

  Scarlet took another bite then passed the apple back to him, careful not to let their skin touch. She was feeling all kinds of jumpy, a bundle of nerves. ‘We’ll be fine. Thanks anyway.’

  ‘Don’t be silly, we’d love you to walk us,’ Ellie interrupted. ‘It’s not every day a handsome soldier has time to escort nurses back to their quarters.’

  James’s grin was all kinds of mischievous, and Scarlet pushed away jealous thoughts about the way Ellie giggled at him. Ellie had Spencer, didn’t she? Surely she didn’t need to have James, too. She dug her nails into her palm, scolding herself. Only an hour earlier she’d been angry with Ellie for pushing her towards the man, and now she was acting like he was hers!

  ‘Penny for them?’

  Scarlet forced a smile and took the arm James offered. ‘Oh – my fiancé. I was thinking about my fiancé,’ she said, hating that she’d told a lie.

  He laughed. ‘Look what he has to come home to! If I was engaged to you, I’d be fighting off every damn German that came my way to get back home.’

  Scarlet went to pull her hand from his arm, beyond embarrassed at his candid words. ‘I, I, well.’

  ‘Scarlet,’ James said gently, hand over hers, locking it in place. ‘If we can’t joke about anything, we may as well all give in to the Nazis now. Come on, I’m nothing if not a gentleman. I’m just saying your fiancé is a lucky man.’

  Scarlet held his arm, avoided Ellie’s stare, and wished the ground would simply open up and swallow her.

  ‘Scarlet, James told me they’re going to announce a film screening tomorrow night. For everyone to attend. And the nurses will all be on army rations now, so we’ll be getting bigger meals.’

  ‘A film night?’

  ‘It’ll be amazing. I’m going to ask Spencer to come, too.’

  Scarlet nodded. ‘Of course. It’ll be lovely.’

  ‘So we can double date then?’ Ellie asked.

  Scarlet suppressed a groan at the same time as James tapped her arm with his hand. What part of ‘engaged’ did Ellie not understand? Or did she want two men to choose from and the whole thing was about her?

  ‘I’d be honoured,’ James said. ‘Although I’m certain we’ll be segregated.’

  ‘Of course,’ Scarlet mumbled.

  Inside, her stomach was doing somersaults and her mind was buzzing. She should have said no. She should have made up an excuse. But it was war. There was so little to look forward to, and so much sadness surrounding them. Was it so wrong to anticipate a night of fun? She didn’t have to do anything improper, after all.

  ‘Why are they giving us a film night?’ Scarlet asked, suddenly curious about why the army would decide to put on something like that now, when there had been no displays of any generosity before.

  ‘Because soon we’ll all be gone,’ James said, his voice sombre now. ‘One morning you’ll wake up and we’ll have been deployed – disappeared in the middle of the night.’

  ‘One of the nurses said that when she was based in Scotland, they were looking forward to a dance and the boys left in the middle of the night before. Just poof, gone!’ Ellie shared. ‘Like they’d never even been there in the first place.’

  Scarlet gulped. Surely things wouldn’t happen like that here.

  ‘I’d love to go to the film tomorrow night,’ she announced, leaning in to James and smiling across at Ellie. No more moping or feeling guilty for being happy. She needed to enjoy the fact that she was alive and surrounded by other young people. ‘It had better be something decent, because it’s about time they did something fun for us.’

  By the end of the week they could be gone, all of them, and they deserved something to smile about, even if it was just for one night.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Ellie

  ‘You like him.’

  Ellie leaned in and put her arm around Scarlet as they sat in their tiny tent. She shouldn’t have kept teasing her, but it was so obvious, and she had to say something.

  ‘Of course I like him. He was a perfectly pleasant young man,’ Scarlet replied, sounding exasperated.

  ‘No, you like him,’ Ellie said, laughing as she fell back on to her bed.

  They’d made their beds as comfortable as they could, although it wasn’t exactly easy given what was available to them. But Ellie wasn’t about to complain, not when she knew her brothers would have it so much worse; she was terrified every day that she’d receive word one of them hadn’t made it.

  ‘Ellie, stop it!’ Scarlet scolded. ‘Honestly, I don’t know why you’re making such a fuss about him.’

  ‘Because he’s gorgeous, for starters,’ Ellie said. ‘He’s also charming and friendly, and I could tell he likes you.’

  ‘He’d probably like any nurse under the age of thirty!’

  ‘Calm down, lovely, I was only teasing.’ Scarlet sighed beside her and Ellie held out a hand. ‘You know, if you did like him you’d have nothing to feel guilty about.’

  ‘But I do,’ Scarlet whispered, bursting into tears. ‘I have a fiancé. I made a promise to marry Thomas. I’m not one of those shallow girls who flit from one boyfriend to the next, and now I feel so guilty because I do like him.’

  Ellie felt tears prickle in her eyes, seeing her friend so upset. She hadn’t meant to push her so hard! ‘I’m sorry, I was only teasing,’ she said, giving her a big, tight hug. ‘Don’t go crying on me.’

  Ellie wasn’t going to say what she truly thought: that it was unlikely that Scarlet would find Thomas, or that he would still be alive after so long of no one hearing from him. She wanted to believe for Scarlet’s sake, and she surely wasn’t going to be the one to make her friend give up hope. But there had been something between Scarlet and James, and she’d have been a fool not to have noticed it. And if the worst was true when it came to Thomas, perhaps the memory
of attraction to another man would help Scarlet believe she could find love again.

  ‘Those dreamy eyes of his!’ Ellie teased, wanting to make fun instead of upsetting Scarlet this time. ‘I mean, what girl could be immune to his charm? You’re only feeling what any of us would have felt, so don’t go feeling guilty.’

  Scarlet rolled over, their faces close as they stared at each other, both bursting into giggles.

  ‘Gorgeous,’ Scarlet admitted in a breathy voice. ‘Soooo gorgeous.’

  ‘If I hadn’t already fallen for Spencer . . .’

  ‘No! You can’t go using any of that charm on James,’ Scarlet hissed. ‘Not him.’

  ‘Hold your horses, I’m not doing anything to your James. Spencer is the one for me.’ She laughed.

  ‘He’s not my James,’ Scarlet muttered.

  Ellie raised her eyebrows. ‘Sweetheart, you can’t tell your heart what to do. It’s the one part of your body that doesn’t listen to advice.’ Her ma had always said it was the heart that got a woman into trouble, and to watch hers didn’t go getting her into any sorts of high jinks while she was away.

  ‘So, how about you? You’ve been awfully quiet about Spencer.’

  Ellie rolled on to her back. ‘I’ve hardly seen him,’ she admitted. ‘We spoke in the hall this morning as he dashed past, but he’s been gone all day to see some soldiers with terrible burns. He said we might see a lot of that wherever we’re stationed.’ She laughed. ‘If he keeps running his hand through his hair like he always does I think he might start to lose it!’

  ‘I think he does that whenever he sees you,’ Scarlet said with a grin.

  ‘Oh, very funny!’ Ellie rolled her eyes.

  ‘Seriously, though, Ellie, I don’t know how I’ll stomach all those wounds,’ Scarlet said.

  It made Ellie sick just thinking about it. ‘Sometimes I think how easy it would have been to stay at home and volunteer for something less gory. It sounds selfish, I know, but a factory job would have come with a lot less worries.’ Although then she’d never have met Spencer.

  ‘It’s not selfish. Before the war, we’d never have thought about leaving home and doing anything like this. Never.’