Wives of War

by Soraya M. Lane

  ‘Did you hear that some of the girls are being posted elsewhere?’ Ellie asked. ‘They’ve already prepared to leave.’

  ‘I know. Why do they do it to us? There is so much uncertainty, and if they just kept us together and told us what was going on, it would make it more bearable.’

  ‘Did you write your letter yet?’

  She looked over at Scarlet when she heard her move, watched as she took a small square of paper from her pocket.

  ‘Yes. Do you want it?’ Scarlet asked.

  Ellie took her own out. She’d written it that morning, when she’d had a few moments alone. She’d have liked to have taken longer over it, but she’d been thinking about it an awfully long time, and if something did happen to her, at least her family would know how much she loved them.

  ‘Do you want to read it to me first?’ Ellie asked, keeping her voice low. They were told off for having their lamps on or talking too late, and the last thing she wanted was their surly matron to stick her head in and give them a blasting.

  ‘If we don’t read it to each other now, I guess we’ll always be wondering what the note we’re carrying says.’

  Ellie stared at Scarlet. She felt so fortunate to have found a friend to share their journey with. There was one thing she was certain about, above all else: that if anything did happen to her friend, she would move heaven and earth to make sure Scarlet’s family received her letter.

  ‘Dear Mother and Father,

  If you’re reading this letter, it means something dreadful has happened to me. I know you never wanted me to leave home, but I hope you’re proud of all I’ve achieved and done. I want you to know that I thought about you every day – it was what kept me going, knowing I would one day be home. If Thomas comes home alive, tell him how much I loved him and that I never gave up trying to find him, that I truly believed I could somehow save him and bring him home. I hope the war is over when you read this, and that you can look forward to a future of peace. All my love to Rosalie, I wish her happiness, love and children. Don’t forget to tell them about their aunt and how much she would have adored them.

  All my love, your daughter,

  Scarlet.’

  Ellie managed a weak smile, even though tears covered her lashes and threatened to spill. It was awful to think that they might not make it home, but she knew it was a possibility, that some nurses were so close to the front line, and the truth was that they still didn’t even know where they were going to end up.

  ‘That was beautiful,’ Ellie told her, knowing how hard it must have been for Scarlet to read it aloud.

  ‘I hope the war ends and we can burn each other’s notes once we’re home, knowing that they’ll never be read,’ Scarlet said.

  ‘Me too. My mother – it would break her heart a hundred times over if I didn’t come home to her.’

  Scarlet looked haunted, the flickering light of their lamp playing shadows across her face.

  ‘I promised her I’d make it home,’ Ellie whispered. ‘I looked her in the eye and told her that I would be back. She was so brave saying goodbye to me, and I don’t want that to be her last memory of me.’

  ‘Why did we volunteer for this?’ Scarlet whispered. ‘It seems so real now, and suddenly all I want is to go back.’

  ‘Because it was the right thing to do,’ Ellie said, summoning strength. She was not about to crumble when she’d stayed so strong until now.

  ‘So read me yours,’ Scarlet said. ‘Before we get told off by Matron when she does her rounds and finds us up with the lamp on talking, when we’re supposed to be sound asleep.’

  Ellie knew that if she poked her head out of their tiny tent and looked around they’d be surrounded by flickering lights inside tents, with nurses chatting into the night, but Scarlet was right. Their matron was becoming more unfriendly by the minute, and she couldn’t bear to be told off. Again.

  Ellie opened her own letter, which she had folded into a tiny square. She carefully opened it, holding it up so she could read the words in the less than adequate light. She should have known it by heart; she’d gone through the words in her mind so many times, tried to think what to say and recited it like a speech. But it had been so hard, trying to think of how to comfort her mother, what to say to bring her family some peace if she wasn’t coming home to them. It was an impossible task, although she was grateful that it was done.

  ‘Dear Ma and Pa,

  I don’t know what to say. I love you. That seems like a good place to start. I love you, I love Danny and Connor and Sam, and I love the memories I have of being with you all at home. Every night I fall asleep thinking of you all, wishing we could be together and back home, eating a big feast of roast lamb like we haven’t had in years. I wish this blasted war was over and all our boys were home. I wish that I was home, too, but if it’s Scarlet giving you this letter, then make her stay for tea and let her tell you all about the adventures we had together. Don’t cry sad tears for me, cry happy tears knowing that I had a smile on my face every time I thought of home.

  Love you more than anything,

  Ellie.’

  She paused, still staring at the letter, wanting to keep smiling instead of breaking down in a flood of tears. Her family meant everything to her, and no matter how much she tried to smile her way through each day and have fun, she was always thinking of home.

  ‘If I have to give them that letter, I promise I’ll stay for tea. You know, any chance to talk about my best friend Ellie.’

  Scarlet’s soft voice soothed her, making her smile real instead of forced.

  ‘Do you really think I’m your best friend?’ Ellie asked.

  ‘Of course. We’re going to be living in a tent together for so long, I reckon we’ll be as good as sisters by the end of it.’

  ‘You think so?’ Ellie asked.

  ‘I know so. Now, give me that letter and let me tuck it away so you don’t have to think about it again.’

  Ellie folded it back into a small square and handed it over, taking Scarlet’s from her at the same time. She tucked it into her brassiere, not wanting to risk losing it and content that it would be safe there no matter where they travelled or what she was doing. She could sew it into her uniform properly when she had a spare moment.

  ‘I might as well put mine there, too, then,’ Scarlet said, tucking Ellie’s away for safekeeping.

  ‘So, back to Thomas,’ Ellie said. ‘You’ve not told me enough. What’s he like? How did it feel when you first met him? How did you know he was the one?’

  Scarlet lay back again, pulling her blanket with her. ‘Can we not talk about Thomas? Not tonight.’

  ‘James then?’

  Scarlet’s groan, followed by the sock she threw in her friend’s direction, made Ellie hide under her pillow for cover.

  ‘Fine then, let’s talk about Spencer,’ Ellie said. ‘Because I can’t figure the man out, and it’s killing me.’

  ‘What can’t you work out? Because if you’re worried about whether he likes you or not, then surely I can tell you how crazy you are. That man is definitely interested.’

  ‘Why are you so sure?’

  ‘He singled you out and asked you to be his nurse. I think that tells you everything you need to know!’ Scarlet made a clucking noise. ‘Besides, I think you’ll find he’s a lot less friendly, and rather more brusque, with the other nurses.’

  Ellie sighed. ‘But, I just, well . . .’ She shut her eyes, finding the words hard to put together. ‘I don’t know why he’d like me. I mean, why me over all those other women?’

  ‘Oh, sweetheart,’ Scarlet said, taking her hand and squeezing it. ‘Because you’re you. You’re beautiful and sweet and kind, and you always have this gorgeous smile on your face. Why wouldn’t any man pick you above anyone else?’

  Ellie kept her eyes shut but squeezed Scarlet’s hand back. ‘Thank you.’

  ‘For what?’

  ‘For being the best big sister I never had.’

  Ell
ie lay there as Scarlet put out the lamp. She meant it, too. Scarlet was everything she’d ever imagined a sister would be. She might be the funny one, the smiley one, the one who made fun of everything, but Scarlet was hers, her one person in the world she could count on right now, and she knew that no matter what happened or where they went, Scarlet would have her back.

  ‘I can’t believe we actually have a film to go to!’ Ellie was so excited about doing something fun and taking her mind off everything they’d been learning. If she had to talk about burns with Spencer again she’d probably be sick, not to mention having to run around in her blinkin’ battledress training for wherever it was they were sending them. ‘I wish I had a pretty dress to wear.’

  ‘Me too,’ Scarlet groaned. ‘Just one night of being normal in pretty clothes. A pretty dress freshly pressed for the evening.’

  The commotion outside made Ellie hurry along, worried that they’d miss out on a good seat if they didn’t get moving; and she wanted to find Spencer. He was so quiet sometimes, made her so uncertain, but he did seem to like having her near, so she wasn’t giving up on him yet.

  ‘Do you think I should kiss him?’ Ellie asked.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Me. Kiss him. He’s so bloody proper, and I want to know if he really likes me or not!’

  Scarlet laughed so hard that Ellie didn’t know whether to kick her or join in. ‘What’s so funny?’

  ‘You! You’re so impatient, and the poor man probably doesn’t know what to do with you.’

  ‘Fine. So I won’t kiss him.’ Ellie crawled out of the tent, stretching as she always did when she emerged.

  ‘Kiss him,’ Scarlet said, her arm looping around Ellie’s shoulders. ‘Make his day and kiss him. Go on.’

  Ellie grinned at her as they walked away, following the other nurses towards the screening. She bet Scarlet was on the lookout for James. She would be if she was her, but she didn’t mention him. Ellie already knew how upset Scarlet was with herself about the whole thing, but she could tell that there was something between them, a flicker of something that she knew Scarlet didn’t want to admit to. All she wanted was to encourage her to harmlessly flirt with the man, to have a little fun, to make the days pass with a smile on her face. She’d rather see her friend happy than miserable over a missing man she doubted would ever be found, but she could understand why she was so torn. It must be so hard on her, all the not knowing.

  ‘Ellie!’

  She looked around, certain she’d heard her name called.

  ‘Ellie! Over here!’

  Ellie finally saw Spencer, waving up ahead, closer to the big house. She waved back and he immediately gestured to her, pointing inside.

  ‘I think he needs me. Are you all right if I leave you for a bit?’

  ‘Of course.’ Scarlet gave her a little wave and she waved back. ‘Just don’t go making any excuses later about why you couldn’t kiss him.’

  Ellie couldn’t help her smile broadening as she walked over to the doctor, although the sombre look on his face wasn’t what she’d been expecting.

  ‘Are you looking forward to the film?’ she asked. ‘I can’t wait.’ She looked up at him. Normally that was enough to make him break out into one of his shy smiles, but not today.

  ‘No, Ellie, I’m not. I’m afraid they might cancel the film, unless they make the announcement after.’

  She wasn’t sure what he was talking about. ‘Is there something we should know? What announcement?’

  He took her arm, propelling her forwards and into the house beside him. ‘Come with me.’

  Ellie didn’t argue when he guided her inside an empty room just off the hallway. She didn’t know him all that well, other than that he was a kind, caring, soft-spoken young doctor, but she trusted him. If she hadn’t, she never would have left the crowd alone with him.

  ‘What is it?’ she hissed.

  ‘Ellie, we’re leaving. I’m afraid we’re being sent into the thick of it. I just don’t know the final details yet.’

  She gulped. How did he know this already? Although she was well aware the nurses would be the last to know where they were being sent.

  ‘Tell me what you know,’ she said quietly.

  He reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of red, white and blue paper money. She looked from the money in his palm back to his eyes, held his gaze.

  ‘Is that French?’ she asked, knowing in her heart that it was. Of course. Where else would they be sent? That was where they were needed. ‘When are we leaving?’

  He nodded, expression solemn. She yearned for his sweet smile, for the shine in his eyes when he looked at her as they worked side by side.

  ‘Yes, it’s French,’ he replied. ‘I think we’ll be gone in forty-eight hours – maybe less. Then we’ll be sailing straight into the thick of it.’

  Ellie ran her hands down her trousers, the fabric feeling stiff, so different from the soft, worn dresses and skirts she was used to wearing at home. She was glad he’d been the one to tell her, his gaze taking the sting out of how fearful she might have been otherwise.

  ‘Ellie, I don’t want you going there. It’s too dangerous.’

  ‘What?’ Why was he suddenly saying this now? ‘Why? I’m no different from any of the other nurses going. You don’t think I can cope with it?’ she asked angrily.

  ‘It’s not that, Ellie. That’s so far from the truth.’

  He looked uncomfortable, breaking their gaze. She moved closer to him, touched her fingers to one of his hands.

  ‘What is it?’ she asked, needing him to tell her how he felt. ‘What are you trying to say?’

  ‘Because I care for you, Ellie. And if we weren’t here now, with all this going on . . .’

  ‘You never would have met me in the first place,’ she said sadly.

  ‘If I can find a way for you to stay, something for you to do here, would you—’

  ‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘I’m going, Spencer, whether you want me to or not. I can’t let you find me a different nursing job that lets me get out of my duty. And besides, I’m not staying behind and letting my friends go without me. I’ve trained hard for this.’

  He took her hands, held both of them, their palms pressed together, his thumbs softly stroking her skin. ‘Please, Ellie. I can’t stand the thought of you getting hurt. We’ve only known each other a short time, but I’d very much like to ask you out, properly, one day.’

  ‘Because you feel something for me?’ She gulped, having forced the words out. ‘You would actually want to . . .’ For once she was completely lost.

  Spencer smiled down at her, closing the distance between them, his hands still covering hers as he gently pressed a kiss to her lips. His mouth was soft, breath warm, as he kissed her again, and Ellie felt her knees buckle. His arm found her waist, holding her to him as she kissed him back.

  ‘Yes,’ he whispered when he finally pulled away. ‘Isn’t it obvious? You’re nothing like any other girl I’ve met before.’

  Ellie was speechless. She stared back at him, completely lost for words. He was like no other man she’d met either, but she’d never be able to tell him that.

  ‘You are, Ellie,’ he said shaking his head. When he ran his fingers through his hair it made her laugh, thinking about what she’d said to Scarlet about him losing his hair.

  She smiled, her nerves disappearing. ‘I don’t believe you, not for a second.’

  Echoing footsteps made Ellie jump back, but Spencer didn’t let go of her hand straight away.

  ‘I’m getting on that ship,’ she said, not going to let him give her orders just because he’d kissed her. ‘You can’t sweet-talk me out of going, Spencer.’

  ‘That’s what I was afraid of,’ he said. ‘Then again, it’s probably the reason I like you so much.’

  ‘Ha! My father wouldn’t believe any man saying those words.’

  ‘Nurse! Are you attending the film screening or not?’

  Ellie sigh
ed and finally dragged her eyes from Spencer. How had Matron managed to find her? ‘Yes, ma’am. Spencer, I mean, Doctor Black here was just instructing me about a patient’s post-surgery care. I’ll be getting along now.’

  A hum of excitement ran through her as she walked quickly away from him, glancing over her shoulder one last time. He’d kissed her. Spencer had actually kissed her! And he’d talked about a proper date someday. He was so sweet, so kind, and he made her want to be a better nurse, to prove to him that he’d been right in wanting her to work alongside him.

  As she skipped down the steps towards where the open-air screening was taking place, not even the thought of sailing towards a battlefield in France could ruin her good mood. She looked for Scarlet when she reached the film screening, searching the sea of uniforms to find her friend. And then she saw a soldier kneeling beside a row of nurses; the soldiers were segregated, seated to the right of the nurses, which was why he stood out.

  She grinned, recognising his thick crop of dark hair as she got closer. Trust him to have found Scarlet already. She might be a hopeless romantic, but she hoped that Scarlet could simply enjoy some harmless flirting with a charming man, that it didn’t upset her again. Ellie didn’t like seeing her friend rattled, and she knew her feelings ran deep, but with any luck she would return to their tent happy after enjoying a fun night.

  ‘Soldier, back to your seat!’ an older officer barked.

  Ellie held back her laugh and waited in the aisle for him to move. And she’d thought their matron was surly!

  ‘Yes, sir!’ he replied, but not before she caught the wink he gave Scarlet as he straightened and walked away.

  Ellie waited and then slipped into the vacant seat beside Scarlet.

  ‘The handsome soldier strikes again, huh?’ she teased.

  Scarlet slapped at her hand, but when Ellie grabbed hold of it she didn’t pull it away.

  ‘How was Spencer?’ Scarlet whispered as the movie began, the image on the white screen flickering then coming to life.

  ‘I’ll tell you all about it later.’ Ellie was bursting to tell her, but she wanted Scarlet to enjoy the film first. They had plenty of time to worry about where they were being sent and what it would be like, and she wasn’t about to ruin film night for anyone. From the sound of it, they were lucky it was still being screened, given the soon-to-be-delivered announcement.