Between a Rock and a Hard Place

by Jenna Galicki

  “A song. It’s almost done.”

  “A song?” Angel sat back on the heels of his feet. “We’re over there banging our heads together trying to put together a basic rhythm, and you sat here and composed a song all by yourself?” The man had talent beyond comprehension. “Can we hear this stroke of genius, my prince?”

  Tommy shook his head. “It’s for Jessi.”

  “You’re not going to share it with us?”

  “No.”

  “You’re not going to play it?” Angel displayed the sweetest smile he could muster. “Not even for me?”

  Tommy returned a small laugh. “I told you, A. It’s for Jessi. I only play them for her.”

  “Are you going to write one for me, too?”

  “How do you know I haven’t written you a song already and just haven’t played it for you yet?”

  Angel’s phone buzzed and he fished it out of his pocket. “I got a text from Jessi.” He smiled as he read it aloud. “I’m almost done with my fall line!”

  “That’s it?” Tommy took the phone from Angel’s hand. He was searching for something more, but there wasn’t anything else. Not even a ‘Luv U’. “That’s a little short.”

  It was unlike her, but Angel tried to brush it off. “She’s probably busy with work. She’ll call when she gets a minute.” The worry lines in his forehead made another appearance and his smile diminished. Jessi’s absence unnerved him. She left too abruptly and seldom answered her phone. Her texts were spirited, but short, and on the rare occasion when he did catch her on the phone, she sounded too happy. She was on another continent, away from him and away from Tommy, and she sounded happier than she had in weeks. That’s what scared him.

  Tommy handed Angel back his phone, dismayed at Jessi’s short and matter-of-fact text. Five days apart were torture for him. It wasn’t just the physical distance that ate away at him, it was the emotional disconnect. He couldn’t concentrate on his performance because he couldn’t stop thinking about her.

  Tommy put his head down, closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. He longed for the carefree, uncomplicated life he left behind. He reminisced about the days when life had been simple. They had worked steady jobs back then and had scraped up enough money to get by and live a modest life. Weekends had been spent in neighborhood bars where he played with a bunch of goof-offs, for fun. Jessi had stood front and center at every show and had cheered him on like he was a superstar. There had been no pressure from record label executives, band managers, the paparazzi or the fans.

  When Tommy picked his head up, Damien stood over him. “Are you part of this band or not? Cuz we’re over there writing an Immortal Angel song.”

  “My wife’s not here. I’m under a lot of pressure.”

  “We’re all under a lot of pressure. We have an album to cut. We need songs. We don’t have time to fuck around. This is our livelihood. We need you to collaborate.” Damien took Tommy by the arm and brought him back to the center of the studio. “Help us out. Let’s pick up at the top of that last song and play it through a couple of times.”

  Tommy mentally regrouped. He needed to get his mind back into the song. He focused on the music and waited for his cue.

  The wail of his Fender filled the room. His timing was perfect. His power chords lit up the song. But his heart wasn’t in it. He played the song with methodic disinterest.

  Angel tried to engage Tommy with the first verse, taunting him with the microphone and the lyrics, but all Tommy could do was return a smile at Angel’s antics.

  Tommy added a short but intricate guitar solo. It was good, but nothing special. He was hampering the song, holding back progress. He was wasting everyone’s time and he could see their frustration. He needed to snap out of his funk. He needed to put his personal problems aside, like Damien said. “Let’s do it one more time. I’m starting to feel it.”

  Tommy started out strong on the second run through. He bounced over to Angel, nudged his shoulder and whipped his hair around. He leaned his back against Angel’s and let his head roll up to the ceiling.

  He closed his eyes and listened to the deep boom of Jimmy’s bass drum and the rich soothing notes of Damien’s bass guitar. Tommy’s fingers danced over the strings. He didn’t need to think about chord progression or timing. His hands took over and brought the song to life.

  Damien nodded his approval.

  It was somewhere between the second verse and the bridge that Tommy lost it. The energy in his performance waned and became forced. It showed. His guitar solo was probably the worst piece he ever played. He continually shook his head during the short solo and silently berated himself for the mundane, predictable melodic passage.

  It was the solo that reminded Tommy of Jessi’s absence. She was always his inspiration behind his stellar guitar solos. Her absence and the uncertainty of her return tarnished his ability to deliver something worthy of his caliber. He finished the song in a bad place.

  There was silence.

  Damien and Jimmy looked at each other with brows raised in disbelief.

  Angel held the microphone at his side and chewed the corner of his lip.

  Tommy had nothing to say. Jessi left and took the music from his soul with her.

  While they stood around and exchanged awkward glances, Audra entered the studio. Tommy was surprised she didn’t get here sooner to help out in Jessi’s absence.

  Jimmy almost knocked over his snare drum on his way to greet Audra. His cheek dimpled under his long sideburn as he flashed her a bright smile. His tattooed muscles flexed while he took her hand, kissed it and gave her a short gentlemanly bow.

  Audra responded with a schoolgirl giggle. Jimmy was a charmer alright.

  Angel kissed her cheek. He was happy to see her. “Thank you for coming on such short notice, Audra. We appreciate your help. We’re kind of lost without Jessi, but I feel better knowing you’re here to take care of us.”

  “I’m so excited to be back. I was a little shocked to hear that Jessi had left the tour, though, but I guess she’s very busy now. I’m excited about the new album. Angus says it’s really good.”

  They were all surprised at the compliment. Angus wasn’t a man to hand out praise freely and gave more criticism than compliments.

  “I’ll let you get back to work. I just wanted to say hello and let you know I was here. I’m looking forward to working with the band again and working under Angus. He’s highly respected in the business. I hope to . . .”

  Audra’s smile faded and her face turned to concern as she looked closer at Angel. “You look burnt out. Are you feeling OK?”

  Angel exhaled. “I guess. We’re all under the gun.”

  “Is Angus pushing you too hard? I know he can be a little overbearing, but he does it for the good of the record label.”

  “Overbearing?” Damien snorted. “He’s a fuckin’ pit bull.”

  “Language in front of the lady!” Jimmy scolded.

  “Oh, sorry. No offense.”

  “Its fine, Damien.” Audra chuckled. “I’ve heard a lot worse at The Quadrangle.”

  Her eyes fell on Tommy and she looked at him closely. “You look awful. I’ve never seen you look so tired. Are you getting any sleep?”

  “A little. It’s hard being away from my wife.”

  “Well, you’ll be glad to know that I arranged for two days off. Marissa filled me in on how hard you’ve been working, and I told Angus you needed a break. You don’t have to come back to the studio tomorrow, and the promo spot that was booked for the following day has been rescheduled for late in the month. When you finish up here tonight, go have some fun, or get some rest.”

  Angus Jackson met his match in Audra Abelman. Tommy wished she would have joined the tour back in London. Maybe the album wouldn’t be as far along as it is, but at least Tommy would have had time to spend with Jessi, and she wouldn’t have felt neglected and pushed aside. “Thanks, Audra. I could really use some time to get my head together. I’m glad you�
��re here.”

  “So am I.” Her eyes flashed with excitement. “Working directly with Immortal Angel is something I’ve dreamed about since I first saw the band play at The Quadrangle when I was 18 years old. I’m thrilled for this opportunity. I can’t believe Jessi gave it up, but I guess working in fashion was her calling, not working in the music industry.”

  Tommy cocked his head. “Gave it up? Jessi’s coming back. She only took a leave to take care of some issues at her store, that’s all.”

  Audra’s face went blank. She was hesitant and uncomfortable. “Um, no. Jessi resigned from Falcon Records.”

  “Resigned?” The guitar pick slipped out of his hand and skated across the floor. “I knew something was wrong. I had a bad feeling about this from the beginning. She sounded too happy to be away from us and away from the band.”

  Reality hit him head on. Jessi wasn’t coming back to the tour. He probably wouldn’t see her again until it was over. She wouldn’t fall asleep in his arms at night. She wouldn’t be at the side of the stage when he performed. She was slipping away.

  “Tommy, are you alright? You’re very pale.” Angel was in front of him, holding him by the shoulders, scanning his face to see if he was OK.

  “No. I’m not. I’ll never be alright without Jessi. I can’t do this without her. It means nothing without her.” He lifted the guitar strap over his head. “I’m done. Count me out. I’m going home to my wife.”

  He picked up his guitar case and tucked his Fender inside, but Damien’s hand stopped him before he could close the latch. “What the fuck are you saying? Are you quitting the band?”

  Tommy took a deep breath, stood up straight and met Damien’s wild eyes. “Yes. She’s more important. She’s been behind me and supported me from the very beginning. She believed in me when everyone else thought I was wasting my time. You told me to make things right with my wife. That’s what I’m doing. I love Jessi, and I’m not losing her because of fame.”

  Jimmy’s drumsticks tap danced on his leg hard enough to leave a bruise. “We can’t replace you, man. You’re the heart of this band. You were the missing link that brought Immortal Angel to fame. No one can play the guitar the way you do.”

  “I’m sorry. She needs me right now. She’s home alone, trying to get a business off the ground and I’m running around Europe. I need to be in her corner for once. I have to go to her.”

  Angel still hadn’t responded to the news, but Tommy could see him in his field of vision, dumbfounded, with his jaw agape and eyes wide. He was afraid to look at Angel and see the pain and disappointment, so he fiddled with the latch on his guitar case.

  Damien was the one who prompted Angel. “What the fuck do you have to say about this?”

  Angel’s sigh was full of grief and sorrow. “I hate this, Damien. I hate being in this position, but Jessi’s my family, too. I have no choice but to leave with Tommy. Family comes first.”

  Tommy’s heart almost stopped. He never expected Angel to leave the tour. He thought Angel would try to persuade him to stay, not comply so quickly or automatically. He turned to face him. “Really?”

  “Of course I’m coming with you. Jessi needs to know that I’m behind her as well. You and Jessi are more important to me than anything else. We can figure out where it leaves the band once our family is put back together.”

  “Just a minute.” Audra was an Abelman, and she transformed into the tough corporate executive. “You have a contract. You can’t just walk away in the middle of a tour. Do you have any idea how much money is at stake here? You have an obligation to Falcon Records and to the fans.”

  “I’m sorry, Audra,” Tommy apologized. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me, but my place is with my wife and nothing you say is going to change my mind.”

  Angel closed his last suitcase with bittersweet regret. He would never see the finale of the band’s first world tour. They would lose their record deal and get sued by Falcon. Everything he worked for, everything he dreamed about, was sitting in the palm of his hand and he was tossing it to the wayside. There was only one thing in the world he would do that for – family. It was a virtue instilled in him by his well-respected parents. Nothing was more important than family.

  Tommy slipped his arm around Angel’s waist. “You don’t have to leave the tour. You can get another guitar player, A.”

  “No. I can’t.” They would probably end up back where they started, playing the indie music scene and their monthly stint at The Quadrangle. It wasn’t the 02 Arena, but it was fun.

  Tommy pulled the suitcase off the bed and added it to the others lined up near the bedroom door. “Sit down. I need to ask you a question.”

  The serious tone in Tommy’s voice and the sense of urgency were unnerving. Angel sat on the bed and waited.

  “Tell me the truth, A. Why are you coming back to New York with me?”

  It was the most far-fetched question Angel expected. “Because Jessi needs our support. She needs to know we’re both behind her. We’re a family. We don’t get split up. Why would you ask such a thing?”

  Tommy rubbed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. “I don’t know. I thought maybe you were just following me back because I was leaving the band.”

  Angel pulled Tommy’s hand away from his face. He looked so tired and worn out. His beautiful ocean blue eyes had lost so much of their light and that bounce in his step was reduced to a mere scuttle. He knew Tommy was scared of losing Jessi. Although Angel could never fathom Jessi leaving Tommy, or the band, she was clearly stepping away from Immortal Angel. He still couldn’t believe it. “I’ll follow you anywhere, mi amor, but I’m going back home for Jessi. She needs the both of us.”

  Jimmy was playing it cool, which was his style. He gave Tommy a big bear hug and patted him on the back. “Take care of business, man. Get your life together and come back to the band.”

  Damien was trying to contain his disappointment, but Angel knew he was devastated. “I get it.” He locked eyes with Angel. “Family sticks together. You’re the only family I got. You, the band, Alyssa and Jessi. I know you gotta do this. Take care of your family, brother.” His throat moved as he swallowed to even out the twitch in the corner of his mouth. He hugged Angel so tight it was almost uncomfortable.

  Damien was a hardcore punk rocker, tattooed and pierced, with a blue mohawk that defied gravity and intense eyes. He was as tough as they came. To see him choked up was a hard thing to witness.

  Tears blurred Angel’s vision and he gulped. “Immortal Angel isn’t over.” But they both knew that without Tommy, the band was done.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  The flight attendant in the first class cabin asked for their autograph. Since no one was expecting the band to take a hiatus from the tour, Tommy was hoping to slip into JFK unannounced. Audra was keeping their departure confidential, which wasn’t exactly the best thing to do. Mr. Abelman wasn’t a man who liked to be manipulated, but he had a soft spot for his daughters and if anyone could pacify that man, it was Audra.

  Now paparazzi and fans would be waiting at the airport when they arrived, triggering speculation. More importantly, it was going to delay their arrival home. Normally, Tommy would have embraced the welcoming fans, but all he wanted to do was see Jessi.

  He fidgeted in the seat, unable to sit still for more than a few minutes, flipping through a guitar magazine and constantly checking his cell phone for any other messages from Jessi.

  Angel’s calming hand stroked Tommy’s thigh. “Try to relax. We have a long flight ahead of us.”

  “I can’t.” He took Angel’s hand and entwined their fingers together. “It’s not like her to be secretive and out of touch. She has something planned and I don’t know what it is.”

  Angel watched him with concern written in the wrinkles of his forehead. “I’m worried too, but she loves us. Our love is too strong to break. You have to believe that.”

  Angel was such a romantic and h
is faith in the power of love was unshakable. It was hard not to be persuaded into believing everything would always work itself out. Maybe Angel was right and in the long run, love did conquer all. It sounded nice and he wanted to believe it, but it really wasn’t much more than a mask to shield his heart. Tommy closed his eyes, reclined the back of his seat and tried not to think about what the future held.

  The comfort of the spacious first class seat and the attention of the flight attendant made it hard to think about anything else. “Why did you buy these expensive seats? We could have sat in coach. We’re gonna need to watch our finances now. You can’t splurge on every little luxury life has to offer. We may not be getting a paycheck again for a long time.” He didn’t even want to mention the possibility of hefty legal fees.

  “Because I wanted you to have a comfortable flight. I know how stressed out you are.” Angel swallowed his second whiskey in one gulp and placed the empty plastic cup on the tray in front of him. He settled in his seat and closed his eyes. “Let’s try to get some sleep.”

  It was obvious that Angel was covering his own anxiety. It was the little twitch in his eye that was the giveaway. And the two drinks. Tommy knew that Angel was just as worried about their future as he was.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Jessi sat on the deck to watch the sun set. It was her new routine, whenever time allowed. It was the perfect ending to the perfect day. So much had happened in the last week, she barely knew what day it was. She lost track of the band’s schedule and had no idea where Tommy and Angel were today. She dialed Tommy first but the call went straight to voicemail, so she assumed they were in the studio. She tried Angel anyway, but his phone was also unresponsive. She didn’t bother with a voicemail. She had so much to say, the time limit would be exhausted before she completed one coherent thought.

  She should have told them in person that she resigned from Falcon Records, but there was no time to get on a plane and travel halfway around the world. She had a business to tend to and a fall line to finish. She would have to tell them over the phone, if their schedules ever connected.