Sacrifice

by Christopher Mitchell

  ‘It’s too late for that, Kallie. We’ve come all this fucking way. Ye’re not bailing out now.’

  ‘I cannae handle this conversation, it’s doing my head in. Maybe you should talk. I want to know what happened with you and Kylon.’

  Keira shrugged. ‘He became a right over-bearing wee prick. Zero fucking sense of humour, and he kept trying to tell me what to do all the time. I couldnae stand him by the end.’

  ‘I don’t believe you,’ Kallie said, shivering by the stove. ‘If he turned up here right now, ye’d wet yerself. ’

  ‘Would I fuck, ya radge wee cow.’ Keira frowned at her. ‘Are ye cold?’

  ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘Right, that’s it,’ said Keira, standing. ‘No more keenweed for you, ever.’ She grabbed a blanket, and threw it over Kallie’s shoulders, but she continued to shake.

  ‘I’ve got an idea,’ Keira said, reaching into a bag by her chair as she sat. ‘Dreamweed.’

  ‘Not more fucking weed, please.’

  ‘Aye, but this should counteract the other stuff, bring ye down again.’

  She lit the new weedstick.

  ‘Are ye sure?’ said Kallie.

  ‘Aye, trust me.’ Keira took a long draw, and settled into her chair. She wished she had some whisky left, but they had run out of that days before. Maybe Flora would return with a few bottles of rum, or brandy, or any old shit, wine even. That’d be nice. She picked up her mug of water and noticed Kallie staring at her, her eyes bloodshot.

  Keira laughed. ‘Fuck, I forgot all about ye for a minute, hen.’

  She passed her the dreamweed. Kallie frowned at it for a moment, then took a draw.

  Keira’s thoughts went back to Flora.

  ‘Annoying wee cow,’ she muttered.

  ‘What was that?’ Kallie said. ‘Who’s a cow?’

  ‘Eh?’ Keira said. ‘Oh, I was just thinking about Flora.’

  Kallie nodded, and took another draw.

  ‘Feeling any better?’ Keira said.

  ‘Aye,’ Kallie said. Her shivering had stopped, and she was swaying gently in her seat. ‘Floaty.’ She started to smile. ‘Thinking about Flora? What kind of thoughts?’

  ‘Not those kind, ya cheeky cow.’

  Kallie started to giggle. ‘She loves you.’

  Keira frowned, watching as Kallie rocked in silent laughter.

  ‘It’s not even funny.’

  ‘Aye, it is,’ gasped Kallie, her laughter subsiding. ‘It’s a shame for Flora, but. I like her. She’s good company, and she doesnae take any shit from ye either. I hope she’s alright.’

  ‘Me too.’

  Kallie started laughing again. ‘What was that? Keira actually admitting she has feelings? That’s a first.’

  ‘Fuck off.’

  ‘Admit it, ye like her.’

  ‘She’s alright, I suppose.’

  Kallie leaned over, her eyes heavy, and pointed. ‘You love her.’

  Keira shook her head. ‘I’m beginning to think the dreamweed was a mistake.’

  ‘No,’ Kallie said. ‘I feel fine, sitting here with you, just the two of us, talking. Ye know, ye can be a right selfish cow at times, stuck up and cocky as fuck, but right now I’m glad I’m with ye. Ye’ve given my life some purpose, after years of not knowing what the fuck to do with myself.’ A tear made its way down her cheek, and Keira groaned.

  ‘I’m serious,’ cried Kallie. ‘Don’t ruin it.’

  ‘Fucksake, don’t get all weepy on me.’

  ‘After we left Killop and Bridget in Rahain, all I wanted was to go home, as if that was even fucking possible. I mean I knew that Kell had been fucked over, but somehow I thought that if I could just get back there then everything would be alright.’ She paused, sobbing, and took another draw. ‘But then we ran into a group of bandits in the borderlands with the Plateau. That was fucked up. Bunch of nasty wee bastards. At first we were just happy to get fed, and speak to folk after so long on our own, but pretty soon we wanted to leave. Only they wouldn’t let us.’

  She paused again, her features darkening. She wiped her cheek.

  Keira watched her as she smoked from her own weedstick. The thought of Kallie in the hands of some arseholes made her angry, but she didn’t want to show it.

  ‘We got away in the end,’ Kallie said. ‘Ran as fast as we could, and made it back to Kell.’

  Keira said nothing ,

  ‘Look,’ Kallie said, ‘I know you had it worse. My story must seem like nothing compared to being forced to kill all those frog-folk, but it was a fucking rough time for me. I… It was bad.’

  ‘I didn’t say anything.’

  ‘I know, but I can see it in yer eyes, that smug look of superiority. You’ve done so much crazy shit that the lives of everybody else must look trivial. You actually think yer a goddess, don’t ye?’

  ‘Aye.’

  Kallie stared at her, shaking her head.

  ‘There’s no fucking point in being modest about it,’ Keira said. ‘I’ve got folk in Sanang worshipping me in their wee temples and forest shrines, praying to me on their knees. I’ve got freaks in Domm who think I’m on this earth to save them all, and who follow me about like sheep. I’m the most powerful mage in the world. I’ve obliterated cities and brought down kingdoms, and I’ve come back from the dead.’

  She shrugged. ‘I’m a fucking goddess.’

  ‘The fuck you are,’ said a voice from across the room.

  ‘Flora!’ cried Kallie. ‘Yer back!’

  Keira turned. ‘Did ye bring any booze?’

  The young Holdings woman raised an eyebrow, and slung her pack off her shoulder. She sat by the stove, dressed in an over-sized coat, and with a woollen hat pulled down over her ears.

  ‘I was worried about ye,’ said Kallie. ‘So was Keira.’

  The fire mage snorted.

  Flora looked from one to the other, her nose sniffing. ‘Let me guess,’ she said, ‘you’ve been smoking in here non-stop since the moment I left?’

  ‘Quite fucking possibly, hen,’ said Keira. ‘How long’s it been?’

  Flora shook her head. ‘I’ve been gone for three days.’

  ‘Aye?’ Keira laughed.

  ‘I’ve not,’ said Kallie.

  Flora turned to her.

  ‘I’ve not been smoking since ye left. ’

  Flora spotted the weedstick in her hand. ‘You?’ she said, her voice high. ‘Kallie?’

  ‘Keira said it would stop me feeling hungry.’

  ‘And has it?’

  ‘No,’ Kallie said. ‘I’m absolutely fucking starving.’

  Flora leaned over and opened her pack. She pulled out a paper parcel, and set in on the low table in front of them.

  Keira stared, her stomach growling like an angry bear. Kallie leaned so far forward she nearly fell off her chair. Flora laughed, and unwrapped the parcel. Inside were dried old apples, a pound of hard-looking bread, some over-ripe cheese, and a curling slab of cured beef.

  ‘I think I love you, Flora,’ said Kallie.

  ‘Dig in,’ she said. ‘I’ve already eaten this morning.’

  The Kell women were reaching for the table before Flora had finished speaking. They tore the food to pieces, stuffing their mouths.

  ‘Fucksake,’ said Flora. ‘It’s like watching wolves.’ She picked up Kallie’s discarded weedstick, and re-lit it off the stove. She pulled off her hat, and her long black hair fell down her shoulders.

  She smiled. ‘I’m glad to see that you haven’t killed each other while I was away.’

  ‘It was close once or twice,’ Kallie said, her mouth full of food.

  Keira took the last apple and devoured it in two bites. She sat back, rubbing her belly.

  ‘That was braw. Got any more?’

  ‘Fraid not,’ she said. ‘That’s all I could steal.’

  ‘Ye stole it?’ Kallie said.

  ‘We’ve got no money,’ Flora said. ‘What did you expect? Food’s hard to come by in
the city. Scarce and expensive. There are a lot of people starving in the streets.’

  ‘Any Kellach about?’ said Keira.

  ‘A few. Nothing like before, though.’ She shook her head. ‘Plateau City’s in a right mess. Well, half of it is. All the rich bastards are doing fine in the New Town, but the rest of the city is lawless, run by gangs. The Kellach quarter, the Old Town, the peasant district, it’s all just one giant slum now. The gates to the New Town are locked up and guarded, but I heard rumours about tunnels under the walls.’

  ‘Did ye get in?’

  ‘Not into the New Town. I had no money to pay to use the tunnels, and the guards wouldn’t let me through the gates. No papers. I ended up staying in the Old Town. The great fortress there, that joins on to the New Town, is being used as the palace now, after you destroyed the old one.’

  Keira smirked.

  ‘The Emperor’s not there though, is he?’ said Kallie.

  Flora shook her head. ‘He’s still in the Holdings. Some rumours say he’s up in the mountains, searching for mages, while others claim he’s on his way back, having crushed the rebellion and burnt half the country to ashes.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Kallie said. ‘I hope your family’s alright.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  ‘So, what’s the plan?’ Keira said. ‘I reckon we should wait here until His Imperial Arsehole gets back to town, and then we leg it north to the Holdings, and check out the damage. We’ll look for Flora’s folks first, then see if we can find my wee brother.’

  ‘We don’t even know if he’s in the Holdings,’ said Kallie.

  ‘It’s the most likely place, but. And we have a lead. The Holdfasts are meant to be a big, important family, right? We find them, we’ll find Killop, if he’s up there.’

  Kallie frowned.

  ‘Ye don’t have to come,’ Keira spat. ‘Ye can stay with Flora when we find her family. I’ll look for Killop on my own.’

  ‘I’ll help you,’ said Flora. ‘If my family are dead, I’ll have nowhere else to go, and if they’re alive, then they’ll still be alive if I take some time out to help you. They might even know where the Holdfasts are, my Hold followed them in their stupid rebellion after all.’

  Kallie said nothing.

  ‘Aye,’ Keira said. ‘Alright, hen. We’ll look for my wee brother together, and moany-face here will just have to make her mind up about whether she wants to come with us.’

  ‘I’m feeling a wee bit sick,’ Kallie said. ‘I might have to lie down.’

  ‘Ach, ye’ll be alright,’ Keira said. ‘Fight it, it’ll pass in a minute.’ She raised an eyebrow at Flora. ‘First-time smokers, eh?’

  ‘Drink some water,’ Flora said. She leant over, picked up a mug and filled it. Kallie took it from her, and sipped.

  ‘Pity there’s only fucking water,’ Keira muttered.

  Flora smiled. ‘I’m a professional.’ She reached into her pack, and produced a stoppered jug.

  ‘Ya fucking beauty,’ Keira crowed, as Flora yanked the cork free. She poured a clear liquid into three mugs on the low table.

  Keira picked one up and sniffed. ‘White rum?’

  Flora shrugged. ‘I didn’t stop to check the label when I snatched it.’

  The fire mage took a drink. ‘Ye done good, my wee Flora. Ye done fucking good.’

  She put her feet up, and lit a fresh weedstick. ‘This is like a wee holiday.’

  Flora picked up her mug. ‘I’m guessing we won’t be moving for the rest of the day, then?’

  ‘Moving?’ Keira said. ‘Why would we be moving?’

  ‘To the city.’

  Keira snorted. ‘Why the fuck would we go there?’

  Flora frowned. ‘Because there’s nothing to eat up here. The Emperor could take days to get back, a third maybe, who knows? If we intend to eat in that time, then the only place where there’s food is the city.’

  ‘I ain’t going back there.’

  ‘So you’re going to sit here and starve to death?’

  ‘I’ll eat Kallie,’ she smirked, glancing at the Kell woman. She was sitting huddled by the stove, the blanket wrapped round her, a green tinge on her face. ‘You alright?’

  Kallie nodded, puffing her cheeks.

  ‘Let us know if yer going to spew,’ Keira said, ‘so I can get out of the way.’ She glanced at Flora. ‘If ye think this is bad, ye should have seen her on the keenweed.’

  ‘No wonder she’s messed up,’ the Holdings woman said. ‘Anyway, don’t change the subject. We need to talk about going down to Plateau City.’

  ‘It’s not happening,’ Keira said, ‘and I’m not going to fucking repeat myself again. Take a telling, hen.’

  ‘Fine.’

  ‘Fine?’ Keira laughed. ‘What happened to the real Flora? Who is this fucking impostor sitting before me? Yer not telling me that yer giving up on the argument already?’

  Flora shrugged, and sipped her rum. ‘All I have to do is wait.’

  ‘Aye? For what?’

  ‘For hunger to change your mind.’

  ‘I’m from fucking Kell. You’ll break long before I do.’

  ‘Then I’ll see you down there when you arrive.’

  Keira shook her head. ‘Ye don’t get it. I cannae go back there.’ She shuddered, as her head filled with memories of standing before the walls as the Emperor annihilated her army, and then struck her down. Even with the bastard out of town, the thought of seeing those walls again set off an alarm in her brain. It was where she had died, and Agang wasn’t around this time to bring her back.

  She looked over at Flora, but the Holdings woman was gazing with concern at Kallie, and Keira felt a tightness in her stomach.

  ‘Maybe she should go to bed,’ Flora said.

  ‘No,’ said Kallie. ‘I’m fine. Feeling a bit better.’

  ‘You don’t look it,’ said Flora.

  ‘Have a drink,’ Keira said. ‘That’ll perk ye up.’

  ‘Or tip her over the edge.’

  ‘She’ll be alright,’ Keira said, lifting Kallie’s mug of rum and passing it to her. Kallie took a sip, grimaced, then took another.

  Keira belched.

  ‘Charming,’ said Flora. She crossed her legs, balancing her mug on her right knee as she smoked. ‘When we eventually get to the Holdings, and go looking for the Holdfasts, it might take a while. That’s if any survived the Emperor’s invasion. Their names would have been at the top of his wanted list. I heard a lot in the city about the last rebels fighting it out in the Shield Mountains. If the Holdfasts are alive, that’s where they’ll be.’

  ‘I thought the Holdings was all flat,’ said Keira. ‘You keep on about the endless fucking plains.’

  ‘The Holdings is mostly flat, but there’s a long range of mountains in the north, which protect us from the ocean storms. No one lives up there.’

  ‘You been?’

  ‘No. I’m a plains girl. Never saw a hill until I first went to the Plateau with the cavalry. When I was little, I thought the whole world was filled with sugarcane, just rows and rows going on forever.’

  ‘Sugarcane?’ Keira said. ‘Is that some sort of vegetable?’

  Flora cackled with laughter. ‘I can’t wait to see your face when you taste it.’

  Keira frowned. ‘Unless it’s all been burnt to the ground.’

  Flora quietened, her smile fading.

  ‘Don’t be a cow,’ said Kallie.

  ‘It speaks,’ Keira muttered.

  Kallie straightened, and let out a long breath. ‘Starting to feel normal again. That was fucked up.’

  ‘I’ve got some dullweed to complete the trio,’ Keira smirked.

  ‘Don’t even think about it,’ snapped Flora.

  ‘Ach, come on, it’ll be a laugh.’

  ‘No, it fucking won’t,’ said Flora. ‘A laugh is the opposite of what it’ll be.’

  ‘What does dullweed do to ye?’ Kallie said.

  ‘It numbs you,’ Flora said, ‘kills all fe
eling, which, you know, is great if you’re wounded and your leg’s hanging off or something. That’s what it’s meant for, it takes away all pain.’

  ‘All pain?’ said Kallie, taking another drink. ‘I might give it a go. I could do with feeling nothing for a while. ’

  ‘I’m up for it,’ said Keira.

  ‘No,’ said Flora, ‘you might like it.’

  ‘Is that not the fucking point?’ laughed Keira.

  ‘But then you’ll want to do it again and again. Keira, you must have seen the dullweed addicts in Rainsby, the first time we were there.’

  ‘That was my second time,’ she said. ‘The first time was much worse. Half the Kellach I saw there were wasted out of their fucking minds, lying about like the dead. But I’ve had it a few times, and I’m fine.’

  Flora sighed. ‘Do what you like, then.’ She watched as Keira dug about in the weed sack, pulled out a handful of crushed dull-leaf and began to prepare a weedstick.

  ‘I’ll make some tea,’ Flora said. ‘Anybody want any?’

  The Kell women shook their heads. Flora stood, and took an old kettle from the large sink by the window. She filled it with water, and placed it on top of the stove. She dropped some tea leaves into the bottom of a mug, and sat. Kallie glanced over.

  ‘Were you two talking about going to Plateau City before?’

  ‘Yeah,’ Flora said. ‘We’ll need to move down there if we want to eat.’

  ‘Not this again,’ said Keira.

  ‘I’d quite like to see it,’ Kallie said. ‘It’s meant to be the most beautiful city in the world.’

  ‘Maybe it used to be,’ Keira said, ‘but it’s not any more.’

  Flora smirked. ‘I wonder why that is.’

  ‘I’d still like to go.’

  ‘Fine,’ Keira said. ‘You two go. I’m sure ye’ll have a lovely time together.’

  The kettle whistled, and Flora poured boiling water into her mug.

  ‘We need to stick together, the three of us,’ she said, ‘and that means Keira should come to the city, and Kallie should help us look for Killop.’

  She smiled as the two Kell women scowled at her. She turned to Kallie. ‘Come on. This whole thing with Killop was years ago, wasn’t it? You turn up in the Holdings, and he’ll see that you’re doing fine without him. Maybe it’ll help you get past it.’

  ‘I am past it,’ Kallie said. ‘I hadn’t thought about him in ages before you lot turned up. No, he and his new woman will just think I’m there because I still love him or something, which is bullshit, cause I don’t. It’ll just be fucking awkward.’