Sacrifice

by Christopher Mitchell

  ‘But what’s the alternative?’ Flora said. ‘We just leave you somewhere on your own? We can’t do that, not after we’ve come so far. We should agree, right here and now, that we each have one vote when we decide stuff, and if any of us are out-voted two to one, we just have to accept it.’

  Keira raised an eyebrow, as she finished making up the stick of dullweed.

  ‘You’ve out-voted me on smoking that,’ Flora said, pointing. ‘I don’t like it, in fact the thought of you two taking it makes me feel a bit sick, but you know, two against one. I just have to put up with it.’

  ‘I guess I could agree to that,’ Kallie said.

  Flora grinned. ‘So you’ll help us look for Killop?’

  ‘Fucksake, alright,’ she said, ‘but only if we all agree to this voting thing and Keira comes to Plateau City with us.’

  They gazed at the fire mage as she lit the weedstick and took a long, slow drag. She smiled, as all the little aches and pains she had been carrying disappeared into a fug of hazy well-being. Flora was shaking her head at her, but she didn’t care. She didn’t care about anything.

  ‘I’ll come to the city if it makes ye happy, my wee Flora,’ she said.

  The Holdings woman narrowed her eyes. ‘Is this a trick?’

  Keira’s brows furrowed. ‘A stick?’

  ‘A trick, you dozy bitch,’ Flora said. ‘Are you trying to trick me?’

  The mage thought for a minute. Why was Flora accusing her? Paranoia seeped up into her mind. She shook it away, then realised she had forgotten what they had been talking about.

  ‘Are ye going to pass that or what?’ said Kallie.

  ‘Eh?’

  ‘The weedstick.’

  Flora sighed. ‘You still want it after you see what it’s doing to her?

  Kallie plucked it out of Keira’s fingers, and took a sniff.

  ‘Fucking reeks,’ she said .

  Keira settled into her chair, vaguely aware that Flora and Kallie were speaking, but not paying them any attention. Her eyesight focussed on a large knot in the wooden beam over their heads, and she stared at it, the pattern swirling before her. So much complexity in such a tiny piece of wood, and she felt a moment of oneness, with the wood, the world, the universe.

  She smiled, her eyelids growing heavier with each passing moment.

  When she awoke the kitchen was cold and dark. Kallie sat sleeping in the chair opposite her, her chest rising and falling under the blanket. Next to her, Flora’s seat was empty. Keira rubbed her head, her tongue as dry as a badger’s arse. She picked up the water jug, and swallowed a large mouthful.

  She staggered to her feet, nearly knocking over the chair, then stumbled through the darkness to the small room at the back of the kitchen, which had the cottage’s only bed. She pulled off her coat and leathers, climbed over Flora and got in. She pulled the blankets round her, stealing the warmth that Flora’s body had generated, and was asleep within seconds.

  ‘You two have completely fucking stitched me up,’ Keira said as they stood in the grey light of morning, the rain starting to soak through their clothes.

  ‘You agreed,’ Flora said, swinging her pack over her shoulders. ‘The two-to-one rule.’

  ‘Aye,’ Keira said, clutching the weed-sack. ‘So ye say. I cannae mind agreeing to anything, but.’

  Flora shrugged. ‘It’s not my fault you were out of your face.’

  ‘Come on,’ Kallie said, her face lined and weary.

  ‘How you feeling after yesterday?’ Flora said .

  ‘Like shit,’ she replied. ‘How long will it take to get there?’

  ‘About four hours,’ Flora said, leading off, the two Kell women trudging along the track behind her, the cottage fading into the distance. ‘We should catch sight of the city in three hours or so,’ the Holdings woman went on, ‘but we’ll need to walk round to the other side, to the gate next to the old Kellach quarter. It’s the only one that’ll let us in.’

  ‘Shit,’ Keira said. ‘You mean we’ll have to walk right past…?’

  Flora nodded.

  ‘Walk past what?’ Kallie said.

  Keira spat onto the muddy track.

  ‘Where the Emperor killed me.’

  ‘And me,’ said Flora.

  Keira glanced at the young Holdings woman.

  ‘Aye, Flora,’ she said, ‘and you.’

  Chapter 26

  Loyalty

  S hield Mountains, Imperial Holdings – 22 nd Day, First Third Winter 507

  Killop gazed past the waterfall, his eyes tracking down the rapids to where the wagon had landed. Shattered beams of wood and the spokes from a broken cartwheel were poking up from the white water. He clambered down the slope, keeping to the rocks by the river’s edge, his clothes wet from the spray. A small group of troopers were by the smashed wagon, pulling whatever they could salvage from the water. Large sacks of flour had split open, their contents spilling into the river, while others lay submerged, ruined.

  The troopers saluted him as he approached. He leaned over and began to help, lifting a crate from the rushing waters, and carrying it to a dry patch of earth where a sergeant was checking over the pile of salvaged goods.

  ‘Put it down there, sir,’ she nodded to him, as she inspected the crate he was holding.

  ‘What happened?’ he said, placing it by some others.

  ‘Just an accident, sir,’ the sergeant said, looking away. ‘A wheel slipped, and the wagon went off the track.’

  ‘One slip, and half our flour supply’s gone. ’

  The sergeant nodded, her eyes examining the crates and sacks.

  ‘Is there something you’re not telling me?’ Killop said.

  She pursed her lips, pretending not to have heard.

  ‘Sergeant?’

  ‘I’d rather not say, sir.’

  ‘Major Chane was over-seeing the supply train,’ he said, ‘wasn’t she?’

  ‘Yes, sir.’

  ‘Anything you’d like to add?’

  ‘No, sir.’

  Killop frowned. ‘Major Chane’s lucky to have you as her sergeant.’

  ‘Thank you, sir.’

  ‘An accident then,’ he said. ‘Get everything you can save back up onto the track by noon. There’s a wagon up there waiting for you.’

  ‘Yes, sir,’ the sergeant said, and Killop turned and walked away. He leapt up the steep path, bounding from rock to rock until he reached the track at the top. An empty wagon was parked there, with a handful of troopers sitting next to it.

  ‘Where’s Major Chane?’ he asked them.

  ‘She left while you were down there, sir,’ said one. ‘She’s gone back to the camp.’

  He frowned, and the troopers glanced at each other.

  ‘Wait here for the others,’ he said. ‘They should be finished by noon.’

  He turned without waiting for a response, and strode down the track, anger fuelling his steps, as hunger filled his thoughts. He felt sickened by the waste he had just seen. That wagon had been transporting the first supplies they had seen in days, and now half of it was lost. He glanced at the desolate mountains; their bare, jagged flanks a dull grey in the morning light. Little grew up there besides lichen and wiry thorn bushes. The great plains of the Holdings were closer than they had been since they had left Royston at the Red Hills, the lack of food pushing them back towards the lowlands. Though he couldn’t see them, he knew that the plains lay just over the high ridge to his left, less than a day’s walk away.

  He veered off the track, keeping to a line of cliffs to his right, and descended a narrow path to a shallow dell, where they had camped. The survivors of the rebellion, less than forty folk altogether, sat around a fire, their heads bowed in hunger and defeat. Next to Daphne crouched Celine and Kylon, while Karalyn sat between them. Baoryn, he noticed, was skulking at the edge of the group, his eyes on the horizon.

  Daphne glanced up at him. She stood and walked over, a long winter coat over her shoulders.

/>   ‘How bad is it?’ she asked in a low voice.

  ‘Lost about half.’

  ‘Damn. Still, half’s better than nothing.’

  ‘It’s only enough to last us a few days.’

  Her face fell.

  He frowned. ‘And we need to speak to Chane.’

  ‘I know,’ she said. ‘Was this one her fault too?’

  ‘Sergeant wouldn’t say.’

  ‘Let’s deal with it now.’

  ‘Where is she?’

  Daphne gestured, and they walked along a small track by a stream until they were out of sight of the camp. Sitting under the braches of a pine tree was Chane, her head low.

  Killop and Daphne approached.

  ‘We need to talk,’ he said.

  ‘What the fuck is it this time?’

  ‘Don’t take that fucking tone with us,’ Killop said, but Daphne put her hand on his arm.

  ‘Is something wrong?’ she said.

  Chane looked up, her eyes bloodshot. ‘The world’s completely fucked, and you ask if something’s wrong?’

  ‘You’re drunk,’ said Killop.

  She laughed. ‘Is a fucking Kellach about to lecture me on drinking too much?’

  ‘You’re on duty,’ he said. ‘We’ve just lost half of our food supply…’

  ‘The fucking wagon slipped, right,’ she said. ‘Don’t know what the fuck you think I’m supposed to do about that.’

  ‘You’ve been drinking heavily for days,’ Daphne said.

  ‘As I said, the world’s fucked.’

  Daphne shook her head. ‘There’s something else going on. You were fine until about four days ago, but since then you’ve been walking about in a drunken rage, and you’re making mistakes.’

  ‘We can’t all be perfect like you.’

  Killop watched as Daphne bit her tongue.

  ‘We want to help you,’ he said.

  ‘I don’t want help.’

  ‘Then I’m removing you from your command.’

  Chane laughed. ‘Why the fuck not, eh? It’s not the first time it’s happened to me. You should never have made me an officer in the first place, I’m a total fuck-up.’

  ‘I could read your mind if I wanted to,’ Daphne said, ‘and find out the truth that way.’

  Chane’s expression darkened. ‘Don’t you fucking dare, Holdfast.’

  ‘I’m not going to,’ she said. ‘You’re my friend, even though you seem to have forgotten it.’

  ‘I’m not your friend,’ Chane said, her eyes empty. ‘I’ve been lying to you. Friends don’t lie to each other.’

  ‘Then tell the truth now.’

  ‘You got a cigarette?’

  Daphne produced her silver case, and offered her one. She took another for herself, and lit them both.

  Chane took a draw. ‘You know how I said that there’s no weed left? I haven’t exactly been honest with you.’

  ‘So you’ve been keeping a stash of weed, so what?’ Daphne said. ‘It’s not a big deal, Chane.’

  ‘It was dullweed.’

  Daphne paused, her brows crinkling .

  ‘There were wounded troopers, and you had dullweed?’ she said after a while. ‘I don’t understand, I’ve never seen you smoke it.’

  ‘I don’t smoke it,’ she said. ‘I have it in a tincture. Just a couple of drops each morning into my water bottle, would do me the whole day.’

  ‘Every morning?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘How long?’

  ‘Since the River Holdings, though it got worse after the battle at Red Hills.’

  Daphne’s eyes lit in fury. ‘Damn it, Chane. You’ve been addicted to dullweed since before you came to Hold Fast and you never bothered to tell me? And you held out on it when we had troopers with broken limbs and crossbow wounds?’

  ‘Sorry.’

  ‘And I assume that four days ago you ran out?’

  She shook her head. ‘I had enough for thirds. I lost it.’

  ‘You lost it?’

  ‘Yeah. When we arrived at this camp, I looked for it in my pack, but it wasn’t there. I must have left it behind somewhere. I ran all the way back to the old camp, and searched everywhere, but couldn’t find it.’

  ‘Is that where you were?’ Killop said. ‘You lied about that as well.’

  Daphne gave him a quick look.

  ‘Look, I don’t know how long it’ll take you to come off dullweed,’ she said, ‘but we’ll give you that time. As Killop said, you’re off command, but only temporarily. You can go back to work once you’re well again.’

  ‘Just stay out of folk’s way until then,’ Killop said.

  ‘Is that it?’ Chane said. ‘I thought you’d be more angry.’

  Daphne stood. ‘We’ll give you a shout when the food arrives.’

  Killop got to his feet, and they headed back up the path, leaving Chane under the branches of the tree.

  ‘I thought you’d be more angry too,’ he said.

  ‘I’m absolutely furious,’ she said, her face as calm as it always was, ‘but I didn’t want to show it. We need her working again as soon as possible. She’s the best officer we have, as well as my friend. ’

  ‘She withheld medicine from the wounded.’

  ‘That’s what boils my blood,’ she said. ‘She had enough for thirds, and she couldn’t spare a few drops? The dullweed has rotted her mind.’ She shook her head. ‘I know I’ve had my own problems in the past. In Rahain, when I was an assassin, I took dullweed to numb myself. I remember how bad it was coming off it once I found out I was pregnant. So, even though I’m cross with Chane, I know I need to help her. She’ll be back to normal soon, I hope.’

  They reached the camp.

  ‘Listen, everyone,’ Daphne said. ‘Captain Chane is unwell, and is being taken off duty for a while until she recovers. I would appreciate it if you would all give her some space. The good news is that food is on its way, enough for the next few days. When we eat tonight, we shall discuss our next steps.’

  She nodded and stepped back, as the troopers round the fire went back to talking. Daphne and Killop sat on the cold ground next to Karalyn, with Celine and Kylon close by.

  ‘Unwell?’ said Celine. ‘That’s one word for it.’

  ‘Don’t, Celine, please,’ Daphne said. ‘Chane’s earned our respect.’

  ‘So we’re not going to talk about it?’ said Kylon.

  ‘It’s the Holdings way,’ Celine said, ‘at least among the upper classes. There’s never a problem large enough that it can’t be politely ignored.’

  ‘And that’s what we’re going to do,’ said Daphne. ‘Politely ignore it. Starting now.’

  Celine shrugged. ‘So. Food. Mmm.’

  ‘For a few days?’ Kylon said. ‘I thought there was going to be more.’

  ‘At least we’ll eat tonight,’ Killop said, ‘and there was tobacco too. The Holdings troopers were quick to save that crate from the river.’

  Daphne smiled. ‘We trained them well.’

  The wagon arrived in the middle of the afternoon, and the crates and sacks were unloaded. The fire was stacked up, and dinner was prepared as the troopers stood in line to receive their allowance of cigarettes and rum. Daphne left to go on a walk up the ridge facing the great plains, and Killop played with Karalyn for an hour as the sun set over the mountains to the west. It grew colder despite the roaring fire, and the troopers wrapped their winter cloaks around themselves. Daphne re-appeared as food was being served, plates of warm flat-bread and cooked meat in gravy.

  Silence descended upon the camp as they ate. Killop heard low groans of relief from folk who hadn’t eaten in days. He noticed Chane near the back of the group. She took a filled plate, and stole away to be on her own.

  When they had nearly finished, Daphne banged her mug against a rock.

  ‘Everyone,’ she said, ‘now that hunger’s not the only thought in our heads, we need to discuss what to do next. First though, I have some news.’


  Every pair of eyes gazed at her.

  ‘The Emperor has left the Holdings,’ she said. ‘He’s taken the four mages and Queen Mirren, and they’ve crossed the border back into the Plateau. I saw him with my own eyes. He’s gone.’

  She lit a cigarette, while they waited for her to go on.

  ‘I think the time has come,’ she said, ‘to go back down to the plains. If we don’t, we may well starve up here in the mountains over winter. There’s no guarantee of when we’ll be able to bring in any more supplies and, as we know, there’s very little to hunt up here this time of year. Down on the plains, we’ll be able to see the damage the Emperor has caused, but the Holdings is vast. It’s impossible for him to have destroyed it all. There will be survivors, and food, though I imagine conditions will be grim everywhere this winter.

  ‘If you take my advice, and advice is all it will be, since none of you owe me any fealty after our defeat, then we should travel east, to Hold Fast. I know of scattered settlements on the edge of the desert, far from the main roads, where my own people will shelter us. It’s a tough life out there, but one where we should be safe. The Emperor thinks I’m dead, and if we keep our heads down, there’s no reason he’ll ever go that way.’

  The thirty troopers sat round the fire in silence.

  ‘Should we vote?’ asked Killop.

  ‘Not yet,’ Daphne said. ‘I’d like to hear from anyone who disagrees first.’

  A trooper raised his arm.

  ‘Speak,’ said Daphne.

  ‘Are we really giving up, ma’am?’

  ‘We lost,’ she said. ‘The Emperor got what he came for, and now we need to begin the long, slow job of rebuilding our country.’

  ‘But the Emperor’s still in charge.’

  ‘I know,’ Daphne said, ‘but there’s not an armed force anywhere in the world left to oppose him. All five peoples have lost countless numbers in the wars. Right now, our aim is survival.’

  ‘He could come back.’