Rock, Paper, Shivers

by Sara C. Roethle

  “I’m doing this for both of them,” she replied. “This is the only chance we have to all survive.”

  “Then come back to the Salr and tell him that,” Mikael urged.

  He really didn’t care about Alaric’s well-being, and Madeline probably sensed that, but it was still something she would care about, or at least, the real Madeline would.

  “I can’t,” she stated. “We’re running out of time, and the banshees are growing restless.”

  Mikael shivered at the mention of banshees. He’d been alive when banshees still roamed the countryside, and had no desire to go up against one.

  Madeline shut her eyes, as if trying to shut something out. She was beginning to seem panicked, letting Mikael know that he was running out of time himself. He couldn’t let her flee.

  “I need to remind you of something,” he said calmly. “All of you,” he added, including the key and the Morrigan in his statement.

  Madeline turned suddenly bored eyes to him, like she had once again been taken over by the calm, confident energy.

  “Madeline,” he began slowly, putting emphasis on her name, “you and I have an oath. If you directly harm me, or if you order anyone, or anything else to harm me, the earth will claim you. Your mortal form will cease to be, and therefore the key, and perhaps even the Morrigan, will cease to be.”

  Madeline was so still, he couldn’t even tell if she was breathing. He knew he had to act fast, otherwise the banshees would come and take her away.

  He darted forward and scooped her up in his arms. The moment he touched her, the banshees darted down from the sky, letting out ear-piercing shrieks.

  Mikael ran forward, throwing Madeline over his shoulders, holding on tight. The banshees swarmed them, but caused no harm. What he’d said about the oath must have worked. Whoever controlled the banshees also knew that harming Mikael with Madeline’s powers or her army would break her oath, and hence end Madeline. It would all be over if Madeline no longer existed.

  Darting through the cemetery, he tightened his grip on the back of her thighs, hoping she wouldn’t view this kidnapping as a form of betrayal. He was also saving her, was he not? If he did not try to save her, would that not also be a form of betrayal? He was taking a risk, but saw no other choice.

  He spotted the rental car ahead. Madeline hadn’t fought back, she might yet as she hadn’t had much time to react. When she did, she might reason that she could harm him without breaking their oath, as she’d just be defending herself. Reaching the car, he flung open the driver’s side door, set her in, then quickly lifted her over the center console to the passenger seat. He slid in after her and slammed the door shut, then started the car to peel away before Madeline had time to rebel.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing!” she shouted as she recovered.

  Mikael tore out onto the empty, night-time street.

  “Saving you from yourself,” he replied calmly, keeping his eyes on the road.

  “You can’t betray me like this!” she shouted. “Our oath prevents it!”

  He smiled. If it was a betrayal, he would be dead right now. “Saving you from yourself is not a betrayal. Allowing you to be controlled by other beings is.”

  “You’re afraid,” she spat back. “I can feel fear wafting from you like foul perfume.”

  He clenched his jaw. “I just kidnapped the Phantom Queen, not entirely knowing if doing so would break my oath and thus, would quickly end my life. Of course I’m afraid.”

  Madeline quieted at that. Her sudden shift in demeanor was unnerving. “Well you’ve stopped me from my task, for now, so what do you want? You can’t keep me indefinitely. There are too many things in motion now.”

  His foot pressed more firmly on the gas pedal. “I just wanted to talk with you without the risk of you getting angry and running away.”

  He couldn’t bring her back to the Salr where Alaric and the others waited. Not yet. Still, he needed to take her somewhere the banshees couldn’t reach them.

  “So talk,” she demanded. “I’ve got things to do.”

  Talking in the car was really probably as good a place as any. As long as they were moving, it would be difficult for her to escape.

  “What happened with the Morrigan?” he asked, wanting the specifics of what was going on before he addressed any further issues.

  Madeline sighed. “Why should I tell you?”

  Mikael grunted in annoyance, flexing his fingers on the steering wheel. “Perhaps because we’re friends. Or because we’ve been helping each other since this all began. If not for those reasons, let’s go with the fact that I’ve saved your ass plenty of times, and you owe me.”

  Madeline was silent for several minutes, then finally answered, “She killed herself, at least in part, to summon the banshees. A portion of her energy is inside me now, so I can bring her back.”

  “How?” Mikael demanded, hating the idea that the Morrigan had become a part of Madeline, almost as much as he hated the key being a part of her. “How will you bring her back?” he clarified.

  Madeline was silent again, then answered. “I don’t know. I imagine she’ll tell me when it’s time.”

  Mikael frowned. “And the key?” he pressed. “You’re now working with it, rather than against it?”

  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her shrug. “For now we all share the same goal. Any conflicts will be addressed after that goal has been met.”

  “After we destroy our enemies?” Mikael asked, then added, “Are you even thinking about the fallout of such a large scale battle? Don’t get me wrong, I agree that it must happen, but it will change the world forever. There is no way to hide such a thing from the humans. Many lives will be lost after the fact. Everything will be out of balance. Are you willing to shoulder the consequences of that?”

  “Our plan is to restore balance,” she said immediately, then turned pleading eyes to him. “Don’t you see?”

  Glancing at her, he slowed down briefly to take a turn, then sped back up. There was still no sign of banshee pursuit. Perhaps Madeline had ordered them to fall back.

  “I’ll see if you tell me,” he replied.

  He fully understood that small actions could have very long term consequences. He’d been around long enough to see things that had happened a thousand years prior affect the present day. Things that had happened to him a thousand years prior.

  “I can’t,” she replied softly. “You’re just going to have to trust me.”

  He was surprised to realize that he did trust her, as he trusted very few people on this earth. Still, he didn’t trust the warring forces inside her.

  “I trust you,” he replied, hoping she would get why he was putting emphasis on the you.

  She was staring at him so intently, he glanced away from the road again.

  “I’m not a slave, or merely a vehicle in this situation,” she said evenly, meeting his gaze.

  Her eyes were so intense, Mikael wondered if she was trying to tell him more than she was saying.

  He turned his gaze back to the road with a sigh. “I can see that. I just hope you can tell the difference between your thoughts and the others.”

  Mikael glanced at her again, catching a brief glimpse of worry before she wiped it away.

  “Where are we going?” she demanded.

  “Where do you want to go?”

  She snorted. “I already went to where I needed to go, and you took me away.”

  “I asked where you wanted to go,” he countered, “not where you needed to go.”

  When she didn’t reply, he added, “You really should speak to Alaric. Assure him you’re okay. He’ll never believe it coming from me.”

  He glanced at her raising an eyebrow at him, her pale blue eyes soft. “So you believe that I’m okay?”

  “I believe that you’re strong enough to get through this,” he replied evenly, “and lucky enough to perhaps come out alive. I believe fate has chosen you for this role, so as muc
h as I’d like to fight it, I cannot.”

  “You’ve always struck me more as an I make my own fate kind of guy.”

  Mikael smirked. “In many ways yes, but far too much has happened for me to consider it mere happenstance. That the key would fall into the hands of a descendant of the Morrigan herself, that has to be fate.”

  She turned her gaze away from him to look out the passenger window. “I can’t see Alaric,” she said softly.

  “Why?” he demanded.

  Mikael hated that he was defending the man, but he really did believe it was in Madeline’s best interests to be around him if she wanted to maintain the part of herself that was her.

  She continued to gaze out the window, partially turned away from him. “I think you of all people can understand that he would distract me from what I need to do. If I’m with him, and we begin to think about our child, our daughter, I’ll just want to run away and hide from everything to keep them safe. I can’t do that. I have to be brave.”

  “That’s one way to look at it,” Mikael began, “or you could draw strength from him. There’s nothing wrong with accepting help.”

  “I don’t need it,” she snapped, suddenly defensive, though Mikael sensed it was still Madeline talking, and Madeline who’d somehow been offended by what he’d said.

  A thought dawned on him. Madeline’s drastic attitude change could have been a defensive reaction to the Morrigan manipulating her. He fully understood the intricacies of manipulation. He was the descendant of Dolos after all.

  “She made you feel weak, didn’t she?” he asked before he could think better of it. The Morrigan was still inside Madeline, after all, but Madeline seemed to be the one doing the talking at the moment.

  Madeline glared at him. “Perhaps at first. Then she showed me how strong I really am.”

  “It takes just as much strength to accept help as it does to do things on your own,” he countered.

  Madeline nodded. “Yes, but there is a difference between accepting someone’s protection, and needing it.”

  He sighed. “You’ve come far from the Madeline I knew.”

  He’d meant it in part as a compliment, but Madeline obviously didn’t take it that way.

  “The Madeline you knew was weak,” she snapped.

  “The Madeline I knew made a promise to my wife,” he snapped back, finally getting angry. Had she forgotten everything?

  She seemed taken aback. “You’re really just going to have to trust me,” she said finally.

  By her tone, he felt again she was trying to tell him more than she was saying. Was she perhaps shielding certain thoughts from the key, and thus unable to voice her true plans out loud?

  “I’ll trust you if you come back to the Salr with me,” he offered, hoping he wasn’t making the wrong decision.

  Madeline sighed. “Fine, but I won’t stay. I can’t lose any more time.”

  He nodded. “Talk to Alaric, then we’ll stand back while you do whatever you need to do.”

  Madeline went silent after that.

  He took the turn that would lead them back toward the Salr. There was still no sign of any banshees. He almost wanted to ask Madeline if she was keeping them at bay, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to do it. He wasn’t sure if it was more frightening that she had control over things straight out of men’s nightmares, or if she didn’t. One option made Madeline a huge force to reckon with all on her own, and the other meant that they were all completely screwed.

  15

  My pulse picked up speed as the car slowed, then came to a stop. We’d driven as far as we could toward the Salr, and would have to walk the rest of the way. It would be dawn soon, meaning I had lost an entire night of progress, but that wasn’t what had me frightened.

  It had been hard enough for me to leave Alaric the first time. I wasn’t sure if I could do it again. I wasn’t sure if I could look away from the option of having him embrace me. To protect me.

  Yet, I knew what I had to do. No one could help me with the task before me. If I wasn’t strong enough to do it, then no one could save me regardless.

  I startled when a blast of cold air hit me. The passenger car door was open, revealing Mikael. I’d been so absorbed in my thoughts I hadn’t realized he’d exited the car. He stood there, leaning toward me, offering a hand to help me out, a much more polite gesture than when I’d been forced in. I took his hand and slid out of the car. Fatigue washed over me, more than I’d felt in days.

  With a start, I realized I’d now gone two entire nights without sleep, though the entire span of time seemed like a blurry dream. I needed rest. I had to keep my strength up if I hoped to not only survive, but to maintain my identity against the powerful forces within me.

  Releasing my hand without a word, Mikael led the way toward the Salr. I followed, wrapping my coat tightly around myself in an attempt to shut out the freezing cold coastal wind. It was of little use. When I’d been among the banshees, I had barely felt the cold. Now without their presence, I felt human again. Weak and fragile.

  The thought was almost enough for me to summon them forward. I had pushed them away once I’d arrived at Bully’s Acre, not wanting to make a scene with any humans that might be hanging around the historical site late at night. My foresight had been to my detriment, since it had allowed Mikael time to grab me before the banshees could. Once I’d been thrown into the car, it only took a single thought to hold them back again. I’d known deep inside that this meeting was something I couldn’t avoid, though it scared me half to death.

  As I walked, I pictured Alaric’s face when I told him he couldn’t help me. He’d gone through hell for me, and had put me through a bit of hell himself. Still, I couldn’t deny the fact that he’d proven his love, even if it was a love I didn’t fully understand.

  I’d thought what I’d experienced with Matthew, my first real boyfriend, had been love, especially after I’d accidentally released his life, but I’d been wrong. I knew now what love felt like. I knew what it was like to sit next to someone and feel utterly at home. I didn’t know why that love had come so suddenly, and I could speculate until the cows came home whether it was fate, or just that Alaric and I had similar natures that drew us together, but it didn’t really matter. What mattered was that it was there, and there was no arguing with it . . . though I was about to try.

  I unwrapped my arms from myself to rub the small bump of my belly as Mikael walked silently beside me in the darkness. Alaric wouldn’t understand, but I was doing this as much for him as I was for myself and our daughter.

  Eventually, we reached the circle of rocks leading to the Salr. There was no one there to greet us, not that I expected there to be. Mikael wasn’t one to share his plans unless he thought it absolutely necessary.

  He crouched and touched a small stone on the ground to trigger the entrance. The action would only work for one of the Vaettir, a little quirk possessed by every Salr. I clutched at my belly again, not wanting to descend into the earth, even as we began to sink.

  Mikael gave me an encouraging smile in the moonlight, then suddenly we were underground. I turned to glance down the familiar hallway, expecting to see Alaric waiting right there, but he wasn’t.

  The person I did see was the woman, one of Aislin’s people, who’d been with Alaric when I’d arrived at the Salr the previous morning.

  Her eyes widened as she saw me, then she averted her gaze and hurried down the hall until she was out of sight, her long, dark hair whipping behind her.

  I turned to Mikael in surprise, then suddenly realized why she was afraid. My banshees had killed a man she knew right in front of her. I barely even remembered the scene, and that thought alone made me shiver. Maybe being around the energy of the phantoms had altered me more than I’d realized.

  Mikael gestured for me to move forward, and I did, since the only other choice was climbing back out of the Salr.

  I walked down the familiar hall, half expecting to walk around a corner an
d see Mara, even though there was no way for that to happen.

  Not knowing where Alaric was, but somehow sensing where I should go, I approached the room where Mara and I had gone over her books. The door was slightly ajar.

  I turned to look at Mikael for reassurance, but he’d stopped following me at some point. I was alone, and I’d been too absorbed to even notice his departure.

  I took a deep breath and slowly pushed the door open. A fire had been made to dimly light the otherwise dark room. By its light, I could see Alaric’s hunched form. He was leaning over the table, asleep on a pile of ancient books. His black hair hid his face from sight.

  I approached him quietly, wanting desperately to see his face, though I was afraid to wake him. Unable to restrain myself, I gently pushed his hair back behind his ear.

  Lightning fast, his hand shot up to grab my wrist. I let out a little yip of surprise, then relaxed as his eyes opened and focused on me.

  Within seconds, he was up out of his chair, wrapping me in his embrace.

  “I had the most terrible dream,” he whispered into my hair.

  I laughed softly, relieving some of my tension, if only temporarily. “It probably wasn’t a dream.”

  He pulled back just enough to look into my eyes, though his arms remained around my waist, keeping me close.

  “What made you come back?” he asked, suddenly very serious.

  “Mikael,” I admitted. “The man has a way with words, I’ll give him that.”

  Alaric accepted my answer with a nod. I wanted nothing more than to kiss him in that moment, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t give in. Not yet.

  His eyed me steadily. “Why do I have the feeling this is just a temporary reunion?”

  I looked down, then forced myself to meet his eyes again. The room was too hot with the fire and my coat, but I didn’t want to pull away long enough to remove it.

  “Because it is,” I forced myself to say. “There are some things I need to do on my own.”

  “I can help you,” he argued, anger in his tone. “We’re in this together.”

  I shook my head and forced myself to pull away. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m okay, and that everything will make sense once the time comes.”