Just Between Us

by Mrs Hayley Oakes

  Kyle slipped away a few minutes later to find Mike. His study was situated behind the kitchen area, and it seemed to be his man lair where he spent most of his time, according to Tanya. She seemed very different tonight, in her own environment, from the night we had met. Although I knew she had a phenomenal gym body, it wasn’t on display tonight. I saw that the meal she was preparing had taken a lot of work, and as she tried to get the kids to move upstairs, I just saw an ordinary wife and mother with ordinary issues with whom I could relate.

  I learnt that she didn’t work but did volunteer at Leonora’s school on the “Friends” committee. Also that she used to be in PR before she met Mike and gave up her career to be a mum. She was dedicated to the children but still found them hard work, especially the boys who she was unaccustomed to as an only child herself. “I had no idea that boys were so boisterous.” She wrinkled her nose and laughed lightly. “Do you have siblings?” she asked.

  “Oh erm, no.” I shook my head. “Just me but my mum is re-married. I have a step-brother.”

  “Is he boisterous?” she asked earnestly.

  “A little.” I nodded, sipping my wine again.

  “Well, my three are all so different but where they are alike is in the noise, whining, and sponging categories.”

  I liked Tanya, she was funny, and I liked the harassed housewife so much more than the pampered trophy wife.

  “What are we having?” I asked a little later as she started to assemble the plates.

  “Thai fishcakes to start, sea bass for main, and a mojito cheesecake recipe that I’m trying out for dessert.”

  “Wow,” I said excitedly. “Sounds lovely, I’m not really a natural cook.”

  “Oh me neither,” she swatted the air, “but when you’re a stay at home mother it’s sink or swim in the cooking department, so I took a few little classes. It’s easy when you get used to it.”

  “I’ll take your word for it.” I laughed.

  Shortly afterwards, Tanya chased the kids upstairs to the family room and called Mike and Kyle from the man lair. We made our way through to sit at the beautifully decorated table and Mike welcomed me with a hug.

  “Good to see you again, Sophie.” He grinned. “Having a happy Kyle beats the shit out of his usual personality.”

  I looked at Kyle and shook my head. He laughed lightly in return. “You still make me miserable, Mike,” he patted his back good naturedly, “so don’t think I’ve totally changed.”

  Tanya brought out the starters and Mike poured more wine. It was so easy to talk to these two that I almost forgot how much my life had changed. I could easily be at home, with Simon and a couple that I had known for years, instead of with Kyle trying to figure out what we were doing with virtual strangers. Kyle squeezed my hand a couple of times, and I glanced at him with a relaxed smile so he could see how happy I was.

  The main course came out and Tanya hadn’t done her meal justice in the small explanation she had given me. The sea bass was presented on the centre of my plate with a tangy sweet sauce spiralled around the plate, some broccoli, baby carrots, and peas as well as some beautiful mint mash. It was just enough food without overfilling the plate. She was a genius.

  “So, how did you two meet then?” she asked, tucking into her meal.

  “Oh, um,” Kyle began.

  “We have known each other forever,” I said easily, “we were at school together.”

  “Oh yes you did say that the other night, how lovely,” she said with a smile. “Well I met Mike at the bloody gym.” She tittered to herself, “I was a sweaty mess and he asked me out for a drink.”

  “I saw potential,” he said with a grin. “I like a woman who knows how to sweat.”

  Tanya shook her head. “I could only improve on that look, hey?”

  We all continued to chat, and I found Mike and Tanya genuinely interested in my life and what I did. Tanya asked when I was due back at work, and I told her a week but that I also wanted to return to see my friend’s baby, and he could arrive any day. She told me about her friends that were having babies at her age, how hard they were finding it, and that she was so glad she had hers when she did.

  After dessert we nursed our glasses and the darkness outside allowed the room to seem more homely by the dimmed spot lighting overhead.

  “So,” Tanya began, “how do you feel about hot tubs?”

  “Erm.” I looked at Kyle. “We didn’t bring our swimming things.”

  “Oh it’s fine, we have plenty. Don’t worry I’m not suggesting we go in naked.” She laughed. “Mike can clear away and I’ll get some bikinis for you to try.”

  “They might not fit.”

  “Rubbish, we look the same size.”

  “I doubt that,” I scoffed as Tanya led me up the stairs.

  Half an hour later I was following Tanya, with wine, both of us in bikinis, out into their back garden where the hot tub sat on the decking that was illuminated by up-lighters. We walked through her plush lounge that had lots of cream, oatmeal, and magnolia going on. Then, she led me through the family room, which was decorated more richly in reds and purples, to the very back of the house where one long, glass wall folded completely open to their beautifully manicured, modestly sized back garden. Mike and Kyle already sat in the hot tub and raised their glasses as we came outside.

  “Kids in bed?” Mike asked as we slipped into the hot, bubbling water.

  “Leonora has some music on and I think I can hear her on the phone but the boys are in their bedrooms at least.” Before I had followed Tanya up to the third floor where their master suite was, we had checked on the kids. They all shared the middle floor, along with a family bathroom. Their house was so homely and welcoming that it was hard not to love this family. The boys had been in their pyjamas but messing around in one of their bedrooms, and so Tanya gave them some grief and they separated amicably to watch their own televisions. Leonora’s room would have been my ideal bedroom at her age, a four-poster bed, white furniture everywhere, and delicate hot pink and lilac touches throughout. It was a room fit for a princess, and yet typically she didn’t seem to care. She raged at Tanya when she poked her head around the door but soon changed her tune when Tanya had a quiet word. They were such a lovely family, and I was glad that Kyle seemed to have some genuine friends in London. Something that I hadn’t thought he had when I arrived.

  “I’ll check on them in half an hour,” Mike said, looking at his watch.

  “They are lovely,” I said taking a sip of my wine, “you should be so proud.”

  “Thank you,” Tanya said, “hardest thing we’ve ever done is have those kids, and we renovated this house from scratch which was hard, but trust me it’s an ongoing project.”

  “I bet.”

  “Hey, Kyle, come and have a go in my new sauna.”

  “Sauna?” Kyle looked around confused, “Outside?”

  “Yeah, got it installed a couple of weeks ago. It’s bloody brilliant, come on.” Mike hopped out, followed by Kyle, and walked down the path that led to the back of the garden. There stood a free-standing sauna. I shook my head.

  “Wow,” I said, “I’ve seen it all now.”

  “Boys and their toys,” Tanya rolled her eyes and sunk back relaxing into the hot water, “it’ll be a bloody swimming pool next, but I don’t think we quite have the room.” She laughed. “Mike is never happy unless he’s buying something outrageous or planning to.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, he can’t sit still.”

  I leaned back as she did and enjoyed the hot water on my body and the alcohol pulsing through my system.

  “So …” Tanya began, quietly. “What’s going to happen in a week?”

  “What do you mean?” I didn’t lift my head up, but I turned to watch her speak.

  “When you have to go back, I mean Kyle has worked his arse off getting his studio up and running and he can’t relocate, so …”

  “So, um, we haven’t discussed it,” I wh
ispered, hoping that Kyle couldn’t hear.

  “Do you want to stay together?” she asked, “am I being too nosey?” She laughed. “Tell me to shut up.”

  “No it’s fine.” I sighed. “I suppose, I’m not sure what he wants and to be honest it’s quite complicated.”

  “It always is,” she laughed, “you married or something?”

  “No, no, it’s not that, I mean I was engaged and it ended and that was only a couple of months ago. I came here to stay with Kyle to sort of … recover, and I did, but …”

  “You got more than you bargained for?”

  “Yes.” I smiled at her, and she gave me a friendly smile back.

  “So you’re not ready for anything serious? That’s a shame because you two seem so good together.”

  “We are,” I said, looking to where Kyle had gone. “We really are and to be honest I knew that a long time ago, but we just never had a chance.”

  “So now could be your chance,” she urged. “You could move here, make a go of it.”

  “The thing is, Tanya,” I took a deep breath and with the alcohol coursing through my body, giving me some confidence and perhaps a little clarity I spoke, “Kyle and I, we have known of each other forever, but we weren’t friends, never really even acquaintances. He was a cocky shit, and I was a goody-goodie. Then when we were fifteen our parents got married.”

  Tanya choked on the gulp of wine she was taking. “Wow, wasn’t expecting that,” she said with a smirk. “So that step-brother you mentioned before … the one I asked if he was boisterous?” She laughed.

  “He’s it.”

  “Oh,” she said, “right.”

  “So things are a little more complicated than me just being newly single.”

  “I see. So who married who?” She asked, sliding a little closer.

  “My mum married his dad.”

  “And how on earth did this happen?” She motioned to the sauna, as if pointing to Kyle.

  I shook my head. “One crazy summer when we were eighteen, and that was it. Then I suppose we’ve always cared about each other, and he was trying to save me from being a misery at home, suggested a summer in London and here we are.”

  “For what it’s worth, you seem great together.”

  “Thanks, but our parents don’t know, and I’m worried people will think it’s weird.”

  “Why? You’re not blood related and you’re both free agents,” she said with a smile.

  “But you still think it’s weird?”

  “It shouldn’t matter what people think,” she said, “and all I’ve known is you two together and you fit, this works, and you are both happy so I think you seriously need to think about what YOU want.”

  “I know what I want.” I sighed. “I’ve always wanted Kyle, but I just couldn’t allow myself to have him.”

  “Are you going to try and make it work?”

  “Like I said, we haven’t discussed it.” I threw my head back and closed my eyes. “I don’t know how we would ever be able to.”

  “Why?”

  “Well my life is there, his is here, and my best friend will think it’s all too soon and my mum …” I looked back up at Tanya.

  She placed a hand on my arm. “What is meant to be won’t pass you by, trust your instincts, and enjoy what you have, but don’t give up on what you want because of what everyone else thinks.”

  “Thanks.” I sighed. “I hardly have anyone to speak to about this who isn’t biased.”

  “Your best friend?”

  “Yes,” I took some more wine, “she was there for the first innings and watched me fall apart, you see Kyle can be … dark.”

  “I’ve seen it,” Tanya said, “I’ve seen him be nasty, cut-throat, cold, I know that side of him, and I also know the one that I see with you.”

  “He seems at peace these days compared to the boy I knew.”

  “He’s a complicated guy that’s for sure. Mike has known him since he came to London, and when I first knew him he was a jumped-up, arrogant boy who was a big deal at university, but he’s mellowed, and he seems to have an idea what he wants these days.”

  I nodded. “I know what you mean. His parents did a number on him, he always felt unwanted.”

  “I don’t know much about that, but what I do know is that he’s been the happiest I’ve ever known him with you around, and despite the mess, I hope you two can sort it out.”

  “So do I,” I said softly. “I’m not sure I would survive losing him again.”

  We changed the subject and Tanya filled me in on some gossip regarding their group of friends. She told me of an affair that almost split the group in half. Told me how Mike and Kyle met, and how Mike was immediately sure that Kyle had great talent and brought him home the week he met him. She spoke fondly of Mike and told me how things hadn’t always been simple between them.

  Eventually the men made their way back to the hot tub.

  “Come on!” Mike boomed. “Let’s get inside for a single malt.”

  “Not for me,” Tanya said slightly slurred, “I’ll have a Baileys.”

  “Mmm, me too,” I said stepping out of the hot tub after her and grabbing a towel.

  It was almost one am by the time we called a taxi. My hair was damp from the hot tub as I cuddled into Kyle in the back of the cab. My eyes closed as we swept through the night, and I leaned further into Kyle, his warmth and scent filled me. He made me feel safe, happy, and at ease, and finally our secret was out to one person, so maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as I thought. I had never told anyone except Ashley, and I had managed to tell Tanya. Those first few weeks at university when I was so low, I could never quite bring myself to confide in my new friends.

  When we got home, Kyle walked ahead, and I held his hand lagging behind. “So did you enjoy yourself?” Kyle asked as he let me inside.

  “Yes.” I nodded, standing on my tiptoes to kiss his lips.

  He kissed me back and pulled me closer to him. “I like you being here with me, being my plus one.”

  “Me too,” I said with a grin. “We need to talk about that …” I began.

  “Not now, Soph.”

  “I think now is perfect, a few drinks have made me brave, and we keep avoiding it when we’re sober.” He walked through to the kitchen. “I told Tanya,” I said.

  He turned to face me. “Told her what?”

  “That you are my step-brother.”

  “And?” He looked at me intensely.

  “She didn’t seem to care.”

  “What did you expect? This isn’t some nineteenth century novel, we’re not Cathy and Heathcliffe. I don’t think it’s other people’s opinions we ever had to worry about, it’s you.”

  “Me?” I squeaked, backing away from him slightly.

  “Look Soph, don’t be mad, Okay?” He made his way to me and took my face in his hands. “We’ve had a lot to drink and as much as I am desperate to know where I stand and what you want and what’s going to happen in a weeks time. I also want you to be sober when we discuss it.”

  “Fine,” I said haughtily, “but why do you say that it’s me we have to worry about?”

  “Because,” he sighed, “you can’t let us work out because in your head this,” he motioned between us, “isn’t right, no matter how great it feels. Until YOU accept it how can anyone else?”

  “I’ve accepted it,” I said in small voice.

  “Soph,” he whispered, “I wish I could believe you.”

  I leaned back to see the sorrow in his eyes. “I want you so much Kyle, I just want to stay here in this perfect bubble and it just be me and you forever.”

  “But … “

  “But I have my job, my mum, my dad, my life, and I need to go back to that, at least for now.”

  “I know.” He leaned down and kissed me. “You know I was a dick when I was younger, I was selfish, hated everyone, and most of all I hated myself. I didn’t realise how much I wished I could be someone else until I went to uni and b
ecame exactly who I wanted to be. I became important, not to anyone in particular but … people knew my name and paid attention to me, and people wanted me around.”

  “Everyone loved you back home, too.” I shook my head. “You were always the most popular guy around.”

  “No, Soph, my parents fought over who didn’t have to have me, my mates were selfish bastards, just like me, and the one thing I really wanted was you … and you didn’t want me either.”

  “Kyle.” I sighed. “I wanted you so much that it hurt. You scared the shit out of me, and I was so sure you’d break my heart.”

  “What I’m trying to say in a shitty way is that … I love you. I’ve always loved you, and I’m really bad at this stuff, but whatever you decide to do that won’t change.”

  “Kyle, I …” I watched as his gaze penetrated me and his words reached my heart, he had never said he loved me before. “I love you, too.” He kissed me hard on the mouth after the words had barely left my lips, and I clung to him. “I can’t imagine a day when I won’t want to be with you.”

  “Don’t,” he groaned, “don’t say that.”

  I pulled back slightly and looked up at him again. “I mean it Kyle. I want to make this work. I want us to be together.”

  “I’ve never wanted anything more.” He scooped me up and sat me on top of the kitchen counter kissing me fiercely, running his hands down my body and underneath my thin vest top.

  “Take me to bed,” I whispered.

  “My pleasure,” he said gruffly, placing his hands under my bottom and carrying me to his bedroom as I wrapped my legs around his waist.

  Twenty-Two – Just over

  Old Times

  After an hour at home we all made our way into town for the results night out. Mum kissed me as we left and gave Kyle a hug.

  “Be careful,” she said, “no more broken bones!”

  We got dropped off in the taxi outside a popular bar that most people were going to first. Kathryn had texted around to find out where everyone would be. We made our way through the crowds to the back of the bar that had a view of the promenade. It was absolutely packed full of people at 9 pm, and a lot of them were probably tourists. We saw a few familiar faces and joined them where they congregated. Kathryn knew everyone and was chatting excitedly to different people. I nodded to a few people I recognised from my classes but stayed to speak to Ashley instead of throwing myself into the masses.