Secret Love (The 4Ever Series Book 2)

by Isabella White

  He smiled. “Yes, that would be a pity. I would definitely miss those legs.”

  Holly giggled as he got off her. The minute he was upright, he reached for her hand and pulled her from the chair. She hit his body with a thud, his hand already cupping her chin, lifting her face up to his. Their lips locked, hard, and the kiss morphed into a battle. Her ears zinged, and her breathing became shallow as her lungs fought for air. Next thing she knew, she was pinned to his desk, the edge digging into her butt. Jake lifted her up and placed her on his desk with a soft thud. Without breaking the kiss, he worked both her pants and panties off.

  So far gone was she, the last thing she worried about was her scar. If it came out that she’d given birth, so be it. She wanted him inside of her, even if it was just his tongue. Whatever he wanted to do, she was game.

  Grunting, Jake made quick work of removing his pants by yanking them off forcefully. With one swift move, he pulled her forward by her thighs, the action so quick, she fell backward onto the desk. When Jake slid into her, she echoed his moans. Fisting his hand in her shirt, with the other at her hip, he used his hold to move her forward as he pumped into her. Holly bit hard on her hand to keep from screaming out.

  A pager went off. With a growl, Jake stopped. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he said, pulling her up into a sitting position without pulling out. Both burst out laughing.

  “Duty calls,” she said, sighing.

  “Fuck duty,” he returned, moving slowly inside of her.

  “Jake, seriously. Someone out there needs us.”

  “I need you.”

  Holly giggled. She kissed him quickly, tapped him on the ass for him to pull out, and slid off the desk the second he pulled out of her. She kissed his chest one more time and bent to reach for her panties, when Jake snatched them up first.

  Pulling his pants on, he shoved her panties in his pocket.

  “Seriously?”

  “Seriously… I need something of yours.”

  “You sound like a pervert, Jake. My panties?”

  “I am a pervert when it comes to you. Here.” He handed her scrub pants. “Put them on and let’s go.”

  She looked at the scrubs and smiled. “No panties? Hmm.”

  Jake moaned, animatedly. “You are killing me!”

  Giggling, she donned her scrubs, and Jake his shirt. Fixing her hair, she quickly pulled it into a neat ponytail once again, before Jake opened the door and both rushed off to the ER.

  THE EMERGENCY LASTED EARLY INTO the morning hours. She helped wherever she could, and when she was finally done, all she just wanted to do was sleep.

  She’d gotten a message at three in the morning to meet Jake in one of the doctors’ sleeping quarters. It had one bed, but she was dead tired.

  As much as I want you on top of me, I’m fucking tired. I can’t think straight anymore.

  I’m tired too, princess, just come.

  It’s the coming part that I’m afraid of.

  Ha ha, get your ass over here, now.

  She did, remembering to lock the door behind her. Jake was lying on the bed, and she crawled in next to him. He wrapped an arm around her, and moved her head onto his chest. It felt nice. She’d missed lying next to him like this. He kissed her softly on the head, then closed his eyes without saying a word. To her surprise, soft snores came from him faster than she ever thought possible. Now she knew why he’d been so beat during his first year of internship, and why they hadn’t been able to talk the way they used to.

  She wanted to tell him the truth, wanted to tell him about Jamie, but she was terrified of his reaction. He’d told her back then in so many words that he didn’t want the baby. He’d said those words.

  “Jake,” she called softly.

  He grunted in reply.

  “Are you awake?” she asked. He grunted again. “I have something I need to tell you, something you won’t like.” No reply.

  “I couldn’t do it, Jake. I kept the baby, I kept them—we had twins.”

  Again, there was no reply. Holly sighed. Why did she have the balls to tell him when he was fast asleep, but couldn’t do it when he was awake?

  That night, she dreamed Jake heard every word she’d said and fought with her, yelled at her, asking how she could have done that to him. Why she’d continued with the pregnancy when he’d told her he didn’t want any children. It broke her heart, even in her dream. When she woke, she found his spot empty, and a note on his side of the bed.

  I had to drop off Michael early this morning, sorry. See you later.

  There was a string of hugs and kisses below it. She pocketed the note and went to face the day.

  Around midmorning, she messaged him.

  Do you remember anything I told you when we got into bed?

  For a few hours, she received no reply, and then one came through.

  What? I can’t remember, sorry. I actually spoke to you?

  She smiled, and shook her head.

  No, I did the talking, but it’s okay. Not to worry.

  No, what’s on your mind? Tell me.

  She wanted to come clean about her pregnancy, but changed it to Zürich because of her horrible dream.

  You should go, Holly. Moira is right, you are perfect for that program.

  The thought of being away for five years, and not just from Jamie, but from him, too, was not something she was prepared to do.

  But it’s five years, in a foreign country. I can’t do five years.

  She didn’t tell him the same thing she’d told Moira, because he’d just ask her what responsibilities she had to hold her back. That was the end of their conversation, so she went about her duties. But when her phone rang an hour later, she was surprised to see Jake’s number on her screen.

  As soon as she accepted the call and put the phone to her ear, she got, “So do only a year.” He sounded tired, annoyed, frustrated.

  “I’m not from a royal doctor family line.”

  Jake chuckled. “You don’t have to be from a line of doctors. You just need to be smart.”

  “I don’t know how to do this.”

  “Give them a reason you can only do a year.”

  “Which would be?”

  “Tell them the truth, that it’s a foreign country and you want to see what it’s all about first. If they really want you, Holly, they will make a plan.”

  “Is that how you only got to spend a year in China?”

  “You’ve been checking up, I see.”

  She giggled. “It was hard not to find that.”

  “Yes, that’s exactly how I only spent a year in China.”

  “Okay, I’ll try.”

  “It’s a good program, Holly.”

  “Uh huh.”

  Jake chuckled. “Only stupid people say uh huh.”

  Holly sighed. She missed Bernie. “Got to go,” she said, disconnecting the call. Why did he have to go and mention that? A while later when she was busy with her rounds, her phone beeped.

  I have to leave for Holland, but only for a couple of days. If you want, I can talk to them on your behalf.

  And how do you think that will look?

  I don’t care what it looks like.

  That melted her heart.

  Thank you, Jake.

  Oh, no, minx. You can thank me later.

  Sucking in her lips, she suppressed a smile.

  ***************

  Jake said goodbye two days before he left, which meant that Kate got to spend the final night with him. Holly disliked that immensely.

  This affair and his text about not worrying about Kate had clouded Holly’s feelings regarding the woman. Though she liked Kate, she was the one thing standing between her and Jake having a proper relationship. She knew if their relationship came out in the open before Jake broke up with Kate, it would probably tear Kate apart, and Holly couldn’t deny that it brought forth a nauseating feeling. Holly was the other woman, the mistress, the homewrecker, and she struggled to put tha
t out of her mind as she said her goodbyes to Jake. What if he came to his senses while he was in Holland? What if he realized he was screwing up a good thing by keeping up this affair with Holly? She willed her thoughts to disappear as she tried to keep the mood light. “We can have loads of uninterrupted phone sex,” he whispered in her ear, making her laugh. They were in one of the private doctors’ rooms, where they were supposed to be sleeping.

  “I’m still on duty, you know.”

  “You’ve got a day off, missy.”

  “Why are you going?”

  “Some seminar. They are usually boring.”

  “That will teach you,” she flirted, kissing him.

  “Teach me what?”

  “What you get for going to Holland alone.”

  “If I could take you with me, I would. You know I would.”

  Yeah, right, she thought.

  His phone rang—it was Kate. He motioned to her to stay quiet. She could hear Michael’s name and Jake replied that he would go fetch him, not a problem. That was the end of their time together, and he left.

  Holly wanted to scream. Kate was always going to be a part of their lives, no matter if Holly won him over or not. She had a kid with him, too. Holly didn’t know if she could be a part of their lives if Jake didn’t end up with her.

  She couldn’t tell him. She couldn’t. Not yet.

  ************

  Jake messaged her when he landed, when he got off the plane, and when he got to his room. He even sent her a picture of the view. It was breathtakingly beautiful, with a view over a canal. Small houseboats and bridges dotted the picture, along with loads of bicycles. She’d heard that Holland was bicycle country, and she’d love to go there. The weather looked crappy, though, too cold for her liking. She smiled when she read, Missing you already.

  On one of her days off, they had phone sex.

  “Holy fuck,” Holly said out of breath once she’d orgasmed.

  “I told you I had new tricks up my sleeve.”

  “Yes, you did, and you most certainly do. Are you going to bring me something from Holland?”

  “I’ll get you a pair of clogs. You can work in them, that way I’ll always know when you are near.”

  She laughed. “Okay, I’m tired. I really need to get some sleep.”

  “Bye, Bee Puke,” he said, disconnecting the call.

  A soft knock sounded on her door, and she closed her eyes. She hoped she hadn’t been too loud. “Come in.” Her voice broke.

  When Rodney walked in, the expression on his face wasn’t a happy one. She hadn’t known he was home, she hadn’t even checked his room before telling Jake to phone.

  “Who was that, Holly?”

  “What the fuck, Rod? Were you eavesdropping on my whole conversation?”

  He folded his arms, huffed, and then let out a sarcastic chuckle. “You know… I saw it all along. I just didn’t want to believe it, ’cause you told me his name was Steve, Holly. That he was married!”

  And with that, she knew that Rod knew. It was written all over his face.

  He shook his head, angry tears glistening in his eyes. The look on his face one of pure disbelief. “It all makes sense now. Why you were hesitant about coming to Boston, why you didn’t want to go to P&E, why you didn’t want to bring Jamie here.” He shook his head. “I can’t believe you lied to me, Holly. I thought we were friends.”

  Tears welled up in her eyes, too. One rolled down her cheek.

  “Why, Holly, why? You know how I feel about that man. Why didn’t you tell me it was him?”

  “Because I wanted you to meet him, to get to know him, to work with the man you idolized.”

  Rod laughed. “You think he’s a man. He left you pregnant and alone because it was convenient for him. That isn’t a man, that is a coward, and I don’t idolize cowards.”

  They stared at one another. Holly looked away first. It was all so messed up.

  “So… what, you sleeping with him again?”

  “Rod, please,” she pleaded.

  He raised his hand. “Don’t, Holly, you lied to me, and not just lied, betrayed me. You knew how I felt about the man who abandoned you, abandoned his responsibilities. I hated his guts because of what he did to you.” He was sniffling, and he looked heartbroken. “And you made me work with him.”

  “I couldn’t tell you.”

  “Bullshit, Holly. All you had to do was say that the asshole was Jake, easy as that.”

  “It wasn’t that easy!” she yelled at him.

  “Does he know about Jamie? Have you told him yet?”

  “No.” She jumped out of bed, wearing a pair of boxers. “He can’t know yet, Rod, please.”

  “Yet?” He squinted. “Holly what game are you playing here?”

  She swallowed hard. “I don’t know how he feels about me, truly. When I know, once I’m 100% sure, then I’ll tell him.” She couldn’t believe how stupid she sounded. Rod merely glared at her.

  “If I tell him now, he will be angry with me for keeping her.”

  “Them,” he corrected her. “Romalia died, or did you forget about that?”

  She shook her head, horrified. “Of course not! I’m thinking about the one who’s alive right now, Rod. He will fight me in court. You know how much money he has. I won’t be able to fight him for my daughter! Please, I’m begging you not to say anything. Not yet.”

  “Listen to yourself, Holls. He left you when you needed him the most, and the minute he pulled his charm out, you jump into bed with him? Why, Holly? What do you think this will accomplish? Do you think he’d just come back to you? Do you honestly think he’d be with you if you didn’t fall for his charms so easily? He doesn’t deserve either of you! He’s only screwing you for the thrill of it. I cannot believe what you’re doing. Do I even know you?”

  Holly closed her eyes.

  Rod laughed sarcastically. “How long has this shit been going on?”

  “Rod—”

  “How long Holly?”

  “Since my birthday, okay?”

  He shook his head. “He has a kid, Holly. He’s getting married in less than two months. Do you really think he’s going to leave Kate?”

  “I have a kid who needs him, too.”

  “Then tell him about her, but don’t fucking screw him!”

  She started to cry. “You don’t understand, Rod.”

  “Don’t, just don’t. That’s not going to work today. You should’ve told me the truth.”

  “And then what? You would’ve gotten an idiot for a mentor and not learned anything. You had to become the best, Rod.”

  “Had to become the best? I will become the best, but not with the likes of him! He is a fucking asshole. An asshole I now despise, an asshole who has never been at his daughter’s side, who’s missed every single one of her birthdays, an asshole who has no idea how gorgeous she is. An asshole who has no clue his daughter’s twin died! And you forgave him his sins, just like that?”

  “Rod, please, you need to carry on working with him.”

  “If you think that that is going to happen, you don’t know me at all.”

  “Think, please!” Holly yelled. “He knows we are friends. If you change now, he will put two and two together. I can’t let that happen.”

  “Yeah, well, you should’ve thought about that before jumping into bed with him.”

  “It’s not like that.”

  “Then what is it like? Please, explain it to me, as I clearly do not understand. Because he is not going to break it off with Kate, Holls, so it’s just about the sex to him. I can’t fucking look at you right now,” he said, storming out of her room.

  Holly cried his name out, but he didn’t answer.

  **********

  Her phone rang the next day. It was Jane.

  “Hi, mom,” she greeted when she answered.

  “What are you doing? I thought you were smarter than this.”

  “Rod told you, didn’t he?”

  Jane
started to laugh. “I knew you were going to do this. Break it off right now before you get hurt, sweetheart. You can’t forget what he did… you just can’t.”

  “He’s Jamie’s father, Mom.” Holly tried to make Jane understand her point.

  “Don’t hide behind Jamie. You know she is not the only reason you are doing this, Holly.”

  “So what? I still love him. I tried, okay? I’ve tried to move on, but I can’t!” Holly yelled, cutting the connection.

  She got a text from her mom: Break it off, before you get hurt. Men don’t leave their wives for the likes of us, Holly. We are the ones who get dumped.

  ***********

  She avoided speaking to Jake for the remainder of his Holland trip and tried to ignore him when he got back. Yet she somehow ended up in bed with him.

  “What is wrong? Why the long face?”

  “It’s nothing to worry about. I’m just tired,” she lied, turning over to sleep.

  Jake kissed her on her shoulder, then lay back down, placing his leg over one of hers. She loved the closeness. This whole situation was a huge fucking mess. As much as she wanted to tell Jake about her fights with Rodney and her mother, she couldn’t, because she’d put everything in jeopardy. Why had she been such a fucking idiot? She should have just left him well enough alone. She should have stayed in Seattle.

  “It’s Rodney, isn’t it?” Jake asked.

  Holly sighed. Why did it feel that he could at times read her mind? She turned around to face him.

  “He knows about us, doesn’t he?”

  Stupidly, she nodded, wanting to cry.

  “It’s not the end of the world, Holly.” He wrapped his arms around her. “At least I now know why he doesn’t want to scrub in anymore. He thinks I’m a douchebag.”