Secret Love (The 4Ever Series Book 2)

by Isabella White

  Sitting back, she sighed. Jake squinted at her, shock in his voice. “You do believe me, don’t you?” He didn’t look at her when she looked at him.

  “It’s a lot to take in, Jake. Even you must admit that.” She sighed. “But I guess this is a normal reaction from someone who wanted something and didn’t get it, so… yes. I do believe that you didn’t throw us away.” She remembered that he’d wanted to get them a place to live in, their own home. He’d wanted a life with her.

  “Then I’ll have the funds withdrawn and you or your mother can give it to him.”

  She had to admit, Jake wanting to pay for everything was a relief. She wouldn’t owe Charles a cent anymore, and he wouldn’t be able to claim visitations from Jamie when she didn’t want to.

  “Okay,” she said in a tired voice.

  “And back-pay for child support.”

  “No, Jake.” On this, she was putting her foot down.

  “Holly.”

  “She is my responsibility, too, not just yours.”

  “She didn’t have the life she would’ve had if you’d stayed. Not negotiable, Holly.”

  “I’m not going to take it.”

  “Then I’ll give it to your mother. I’m sure she will be grateful for the money.”

  “You think you know my mom just because you spent a day with her? You don’t, Jake. Jamie isn’t a homeless kid we found who turned out to be yours. She’s my kid. We sat with her for days when she got sick and believe me, she wouldn’t take it, either.” He was going to learn the hard way that money couldn’t buy everything.

  “Then I’ll put it into a trust for Jamie.”

  “That’s a great idea,” she said. “Anything else?”

  “Zürich.” Jake looked at her.

  She’d forgotten about Zürich. What was she going to do? How was she going to do it? Her lower lip trembled softly, and dropping her head onto her arms, she began to cry.

  Jake didn’t say a word. She wished he would get up and leave. From the silence, Holly was sure that he had left, but when she sniffed and looked up, he was still sitting in his spot, turning his drink around and around.

  “Holly, I just want to know…”

  “She’s staying, Jake, okay? She’s not going with me because it is a foreign country, one where she wouldn’t even understand the language. I’ll be working long hours and she would be miserable. So, my mom and I decided that she was going to stay here while I…” She covered her eyes with her fingers while resting her elbows on the table. “What kind of a mom would just leave her child for another year?” She didn’t care anymore if he was going to get annoyed with her.

  Leaning forward, he stroked her arm, something she thought he would never do again. She ground her teeth. Jake was getting everything he wanted, and Holly was once again putting everyone else first. She looked at him.

  “The kind who got dealt a shitty hand and is trying to give her child what she should have had to begin with, Holly. You are not a crappy mom, believe me, you are far from a crappy mom. I promise you, I’ll make sure you see her once a month while you’re in Zürich.”

  “Jake.”

  “Take it, please. You have suffered enough.”

  She shook her head gently. What? He’d been fighting with her since they’d left the house, and now he was saying this? He was so confusing.

  “Just take it… please.”

  “Thank you,” she finally said. “We will need to sit down with my mom and arrange for visitations, see how that goes.”

  Jake gave her a look. It was soft, but behind it was anger filled with something else.

  Holly looked at her watch. “Jake, it’s really getting late.”

  Nodding, he asked for the bill. “Just one more thing,” he said.

  Her entire posture stiffened. “What?”

  “All these years, you thought I dumped you, so how on earth could you allow yourself to have an affair with me, Holly?”

  “Don’t, please. Not tonight.”

  Sighing, Jake looked down at the table. “Okay.”

  The waitress brought the bill, and after working out the tip, he placed money in the folder and closed it. Holly had already gotten up and was walking to the door. She just wanted to go home.

  She could hear Jake saying goodbye and thanking the waitress again as she pushed the door open. He followed close behind her. As soon as the car beeped, Holly opened the door and got in. Jake jumped into the driver’s seat as she closed her door.

  After he started the car, he turned to her, saying, “I’m done fighting now.” Holly looked at him. “And I never want to hear you blame yourself again for Romalia’s death. You are the last person I blame, Holly.”

  She continued to look at him, mouth agape. It certainly hadn’t felt like that tonight.

  “I’m sorry I made you feel like I blame you, it just…” He grunted and stroked his face hard. “I’m really expecting to wake up any moment and not feel the way I feel.”

  She didn’t like that. It made her feel as if he would rather have the lie again. She couldn’t even look at him.

  “Holly?”

  “It’s fine, Jake. I understand.”

  “That’s not what I meant.” He turned the engine off. “Look at me.”

  She did, with her arms folded across her ribcage.

  “My mother told me that the formula wasn’t working, and that she begged you to wait for my dad, to speak to him.”

  Holly shook her head. He really hadn’t known her at all. “You really think that I wouldn’t have gone to your father myself? I was terrified of your mom, Jake. Your father was one of my favorite people in the world.”

  “I know. It’s why I didn’t believe her at first. We fought like hell. Bernie actually told her to her face that she was a psycho as she didn’t want to believe any of it, either.”

  Holly smiled. Amelia told her the same thing this afternoon.

  “But when you didn’t phone Bernie, she started having doubts.”

  Tears welled up in Holly’s eyes.

  “Why didn’t you just phone her?”

  She wiped at a stray tear. “Leo is your best friend. I made a choice to keep them safe and I thought I did the right thing. Phoning Bernie would’ve been wrong. That’s what I thought back then, okay? I didn’t know that if I actually had phoned her, well… that none of this would’ve happened.”

  Jake went on to tell her about everything that took place five years ago. It all matched Amelia’s version. He hadn’t seen Leo and Bernie in the past two years. Leo had gotten a new job offer in California and they’d taken it. As far as what happened with Holly, it was hard on all of them when his mother informed them that Holly was going to abort the baby. She’d lied to them, made herself sound like a saint, and then had sat back and watched from the sidelines how her lies almost destroyed her family.

  The hair on Holly’s arms rose as Jake told her how much it had messed him up, how he’d searched for her for months, and how his parents had found him fifteen miles from Seattle. He’d been so close. He’d had to see a psychiatrist then because he couldn’t cope, becoming a womanizer as a result, sleeping with hordes of women just to feel better, instead making him feel worse.

  When he met Kate—not something he really wanted to talk about—Holly knew she was the one who’d helped him move on with his life again, which in turn, made her an amazing woman, no matter how much Holly wished she wasn’t. The fact was that she’d been there for Jake when Holly left. It was unfair as she hadn’t wanted to leave him. She should’ve fucking stayed and waited for him. They’d had that real type of love and his mother couldn’t handle that, for whatever fucking reason, and it had driven a wedge between them. It would never work between Holly and Jake ever again.

  “I’m glad you had her,” Holly said and smiled.

  “Yeah.” He smiled, too, then started the car. He pulled out onto the road as Holly looked out the window again, silently wiping at another tear. This was why it was compli
cated, it was what he’d meant that night when she’d asked him to choose.

  “So, did you enjoy the day?” he asked, smiling.

  “Yes, I caught up on some sleep. You really think my mom will accept your money?” She had to know.

  He smiled. “Your mom is one of the coolest women I’ve ever met, and it’s clear she loves you a lot. I’m glad you made peace with her.”

  “Me, too. She hasn’t had a drop for the past six years and she’s a real rock, one I could count on and lean on when things got too hectic.”

  “Too hectic? What… Jamie challenged you a bit?”

  “Don’t get me started.”

  He chuckled.

  Holly told him about school, how Jamie didn’t pay attention, and how the teachers had a hard time with her. She was really worried about that, but when Jake’s lips curved slightly at the corners, she could feel another Jake-thing coming on.

  “She’s clever, Holly, and it’s normal for someone like her to feel bored with tasks that she can do. I went through the same thing.”

  “You did?”

  He nodded.

  “How did you solve it?”

  “I skipped a grade.”

  “You skipped a grade?”

  “She’s smart. A little genius, if you ask me. Who can blame her? She got it from both her parents.”

  “I’m not that clever,” Holly said.

  “Excuse me, do you have any idea how hard it is to even get into medical school for someone your age?”

  “Yeah, and I did it.”

  He laughed. “You are far from average, Holly.”

  She couldn’t believe he was the same guy from earlier. He was the complete opposite, which made her miss him again. Why had he chosen Kate? She knew why, but she still didn’t want to accept that. Her mind flashed back to the night he’d said, “Not this shit again.” He hadn’t wanted to stop seeing her, but he got angry when she gave him an ultimatum—her or Kate—which resulted in him hitting the door.

  She should fight, like Amelia begged her this afternoon. The way he’d drilled it into her head tonight. She should fight for him. He couldn’t marry Kate, not when he had a daughter, one who was his flesh and blood. She couldn’t lose him again, not like this.

  They stopped in front of the black gates. How had they gotten here so fast? If she opened her door and got out, it would be too late. She saw the gate open, and doubt filled her mind, but her heart and body did the opposite.

  Holly went for it, didn’t think about it, just found herself on Jake’s lap, kissing him. He returned her kiss and it was fierce, like he wanted it, too. This was it. The right time to ask him again.

  The kiss gave her some courage too.

  She broke the kiss and dropped her head onto his shoulder and breathed in his scent. She’d missed him so much, only God knew how much.

  “You cannot kiss me like that and not speak to me about it,” he whispered in her ear. Silence followed. She was dreading asking him the question. But he was still her Jake. He’d wanted them.

  “Don’t marry Kate. Stay with us. Just come home and be with Jamie and me,” she begged, feeling an influx of tears coming and a lump forming at the back of her throat. She cleared her throat and sniffed hard. Her head was still on his shoulder; she didn’t want to see the expression on his face.

  He didn’t say anything, just held her tight against him. He smelled so good. She couldn’t live without him. She’d tried and it was so hard. It wasn’t a money thing, either. She would chew rocks with him if it led to that. It was just... him.

  The silence knotted her stomach. She knew what his answer was going to be; he was going to Hawaii, he just didn’t know how to say it. Amelia was wrong. She felt so pathetic.

  “Okay,” he said, making her heart stop.

  In utter shock, she looked up at him. “What?”

  He stroked the side of her head, curling a strand of hair gently behind her ear. “It’s not going to be easy canceling the wedding. Kate is… she’s a lot like my mom in so many ways. That kind of people doesn’t take no for an answer. But I have to admit something, Holly.” He looked at her neckline, before he looked her in the eyes. “I can live with Kate. We made it work for more than a year. If I marry her, it will work. I’m a tad apprehensive that when it comes to you. I’m scared you’ll run, leave without fighting for what you want the first time something goes sour.”

  She didn’t like that one bit—it wasn’t who she was, just something she’d done back then to do the right thing. It hadn’t been easy for her to leave him.

  “But I need to stop kidding myself.” A grin appeared on his lips. “I enrolled in a program at Zürich, which would’ve had me going there at least once a month, and I did it after you told me to choose. So, I wasn’t done with you yet.” He smiled at her. “And now that I know Jamie exists… I don’t want to miss another minute of her life. She’s wrapped me around her pinky finger. She is the most amazing little human being. I don’t want to live without either of you. My marriage to Kate would have never have survived.”

  Blinking a couple of times in shock at his admission, she snapped out of her stupor and kissed him. Jake returned it with fervor. She was waiting for the sound of her alarm or something that was going to wake her up, but it didn’t come. Only a zing in her ears confirmed it wasn’t a dream. Jake had chosen her. He’d chosen Jamie. They were going to be a family.

  THEY SAT OUTSIDE IN HIS SUV, Holly still on his lap, talking. She was exhausted from crying. When a tear escaped, Jake wiped it away, gently, with so much love behind the gesture, then kissed her lips softly.

  “I love you so much, and it’s sad you don’t know that. I’m scared that you will never grasp how much. I don’t want to lose you ever again, Holly.”

  “I promise. I’ll stay and fight. I won’t run.”

  When he hugged her, she felt his lips on her ear. Then she heard his chuckle.

  “What is it?” She looked at him again.

  “Remember when you asked me what happened to the Beamer?”

  “Yes, you said it didn’t make the cut.” She already knew what he was going to say, but she couldn’t tell him what Amelia told her.

  “I smashed it up with a hammer.”

  “You did what?” She pretended to be shocked.

  “It was when I got back from looking for you. I would lie in my room for days. I was a mess.” He sighed, not looking at her. “One day, I just felt like smashing something and I knew how much you hated that car.”

  “I didn’t hate it that much,” she countered.

  “Well, I smashed it.”

  “You see, you are still a hooligan,” she said, and he laughed again as their lips found each other’s one more time.

  “Let’s just go somewhere tonight, please?” he begged in her ear. “Then I can show my little girl I’m a dad of his word.”

  “Dad of his word?”

  Jake whispered. “She had a lot of questions today.”

  “She did? Like what?”

  “Like… if the two of you were going to stay with me. I couldn’t answer her. I didn’t know if you’d ever want to see me again, even after Frank explained everything. But I want to try. So, when she wakes up and finds me there too, it would mean I’m trying. But I don’t think either of us are ready for a barrage of questions just yet, so I think we should go to a hotel. There’s a lot we still need to figure out.”

  “Yes, there are. And I agree. We aren’t ready to answer all Jamie’s questions if she sees us together in the morning. So, is she the only reason you want to stay?”

  “I’m not going to lie to you. She is cute as hell, but hell no.” He smiled. “She is not the only reason.”

  Holly kissed his mouth hard. “My mom was so right,” she said against his lips.

  “About what?”

  “I’m a cheap slut when it comes to you.”

  He laughed as he turned on the ignition. She moved over to her side again and he drove off. They stoppe
d in front of one of the hotels nearby. It was a fancy hotel, the expensive kind. He booked them a room, which only took a swipe of his card. They took the elevator, which was thankfully empty. Jake kissed her again fiercely, pushing her up against the glass walls. He wanted her; she could feel his erection pressing against her and it was making her crazy.

  When the elevator pinged, they pulled apart and got out, then walked hand-in-hand down the hallway to their room. Jake opened the door with a swipe of another card. It was stunning: a couch, a beautiful bed, and a bathroom which she felt the need to go immediately and take a shower in.

  “I need to make a phone call. Don’t take too long,” he said, slapping her on the ass. Holly rubbed at the sting with her hand and scolded him playfully with her eyes as he held the phone up to his ear.

  The bathroom was so modern and the nozzle of the shower had so many holes and gadgets that she had no idea what they were for. There were no taps, either. Instead it consisted of some sort of sensor that went off when someone stepped into the shower.

  She thought Jake would join her, but he didn’t. After pulling one of the bathrobes over her naked body, she left the bathroom to find him fast asleep on the bed. He was still wearing his jeans and long sleeve T-shirt. He was so damn beautiful. The only thing that was missing were his flip-flops. It didn’t matter one bit he’d passed out. He’d decided to stay with her and just sleeping next to him was enough for her.

  Her mother was never going to believe that he’d gotten a room just for sleeping. She giggled to herself softly. Climbing into bed, she pulled the duvet over them both.

  He looked so peaceful and all she could do was stare at him, like a creepy stalker.

  Closing her eyes, she drifted off faster than she thought she would.

  JAKE

  He woke up the next morning and looked at the angel right beside him. He couldn’t believe his ears when she’d asked him not to marry Kate. He was speechless and knew it was probably tormenting her when he’d just kept quiet. But he couldn’t believe that she’d just forgiven him like that, for everything. She’d given him a choice again.

  He would wake up for the rest of his life seeing her face every morning, just as his life should’ve been if it hadn’t been for his mother. But he had no idea how he was going to make her see how much he loved her.